Desicritics Category: Media: CDs

Music Review: U Me Aur Hum

Amrita Rajan — Tue, 4 Mar 2008 04:53:08 EST

If you'd asked me to guess, I wouldn't have picked U Me Aur Hum for Ajay Devgan's directorial venture. The odd Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam apart, Devgan's real success lies in movies where he's been able to portray angst ridden characters with something to prove. With U Me Aur Hum, he's either hoping for a safe bet at the box office or wants to try his hand at something different (for him). Written by Robin Bhatt, Sutanu Gupta and Devgan himself, according to the syrupy synopsis it is:

A love story, that begins at sea. Ajay is on a cruise with his friends Nikhil and Reena, unhappily married, and Vicky and Natasha, happily unmarried. Ajay is having a wonderful time dealing with martial strife, lots of bad language and huge hangovers, when he finds Pia, and time stands still.

So they battle all odds, and dance, and sometimes they fall. But every time they fall, they fall in love. And that's what a successful marriage requires. Falling in love many times, always with the same person.

This is the special love story of Ajay and Pia. There may be no monuments dedicated to them and perhaps their names will soon be forgotten. But in one respect they succeed as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: They've loved each other with all their heart and soul; and in life and marriage, this has always been enough.

Hmm. Personally, with a set up like that, the only thing that makes me in the slightest bit interested in this movie is the fact that it stars Kajol and has music by Vishal Bhardwaj. And while Kajol has let me down from time to time (hey there, Raju Chacha), Bhardwaj has always been awesome. Will the U Me Aur Hum album, with lyrics by Munna Dhiman, be his Waterloo? Let's see:

Jee Le - This is why I love Vishal Bhardwaj: even when he churns out a ho hum song, he does it with more class than just about anybody else. If you’re a fan of Latin rhythms (and it’s hard not to be) then this is a very pleasant song. The obligatory amore, baila and te quiero stuff manages not to grate the way others of this ilk so often do. Of course, I don’t speak Spanish so maybe people who actually understand the lyrics might disagree. I can only hope they're better than the Hindi ones penned, which are strictly pedestrian. Shreya Ghoshal and Adnan Sami croon their way affably through it and it all pretty much sounds like a cruise ship band putting on a good performance. I don’t know if that’s what Bhardwaj and Co. were going for, but that’s what it is.

U Me Aur Hum (Part I) - Remember how Shreya Ghoshal was so absolutely lovely and perfect in Jism? Now imagine her being almost lovely and perfect. That’s what this song is. Again, it’s not godawful or hurting my teeth but five minutes from now I wouldn’t remember a thing about it. Actually, no, I lie - I’d remember that little hip-hop-in-the-land-of-boyband riff (”Love gives you the power / to open up and flower / covering every hour with its refrain”) that comes up now and again. The male singer is uncredited and he ought to thank his stars for small mercies. Dhiman wades in rather late to try and save the day by injecting a little meaning into the song, but it's no go.

Saiyaan - You lost me at first line: “But I asked for a lover who’d be like a girlfriend,” Sunidhi Chauhan complains. So Kajol’s a lesbian then? The rest of the song is about how she finds her hubby such a mystery - he likes to watch TV, doesn’t pay her much attention, is a workaholic, not a morning person, kind of chubby, (”like a haveli“)… I’m sorry, what’s the mystery here? Adding to the confusion, the song stopped all of a sudden, like they’d just given it up as a bad job. Sunidhi really needs to pay attention to the crap she’s being fed these days if she wants to keep her A-list career.

Phatte - I have no idea what this horror is but it has Adnan Sami battling a severe case of constipation and it makes Sunidhi Chauhan angry. I don’t blame her. Its stated ambition is to make all the “the birds like parrots fly”. I decided to join them in their escape. Tell me when it’s safe to come back.

Dil Dhakda Hai - Oh goody, Adnan Sami’s back to mumble some more. If this is what gastric bypass surgery does to your vocal chords, then it’s time to bring back the fat. This time around he keeps Shreya Ghoshal company. And she sounds terrified as she well should, singing a song about under-seasoned food. Or maybe it’s about oral sex. Or cannibalism. Or something. If I could get over the crappy beats I’d know more. Except, do I really want to find out more about stuff like this:

Tu hai meri shayri
Chori ki hai Dairy
Sher tagde tadge hai
Chidiya Ghar se pakde hai

Translation:

You are my poetry
From a stolen diary
But the lines are solid
And caught from the zoo

Ooh, the last two lines are really clever, see? Because sher means verse as well as lion and you can see lions in the zoo... By the time the half-hearted rap shows up, I really don’t give a shit. It’s like kicking someone with a head injury - I can’t even feel it.

U Me Aur Hum (Part II) - Just when I’m wondering when this torture will end, Vishal Bhardwaj breaks out his guitar and sings this song. Suddenly, all those hokey words make sense and the world is lovely again. What the hell just happened?

I have no clue. But I can only hope the movie will be better. Just so it’s, you know, watchable. My eyes are on you, Kajol. Also I’m really happy the internet exists so I could listen online and didn’t have to pay for this crap. The End.

Music Review: Om Shanti Om

Amrita Rajan — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 12:24:18 EDT

Movies, as Akira Kurosawa observed with such penetrating simplicity in his book Something Like An Autobiography, are not just a visual medium – they’re an audio-visual one. To ignore one is to harm the other.

In Indian cinema, we’ve taken this lesson so much to heart that sometimes the visuals suffer for the audio. Conventional wisdom, in Bollywood especially, runs that the ultimate factor in determining a movie’s success at the box office is its soundtrack. Examples to the contrary litter the field, including one of my all time favorite albums Dil Se, which went on to launch AR Rehman’s West End debut under the aegis of that purveyor of all things bound to make a million or two, Andrew Lloyd Webber.

That movie was remarkable in many ways (it introduced us to Priety Zinta, gave us – horribly miscast – Kashmiri and Malayalee lead characters, launched Sukhwinder Singh as a singing sensation, catapulted Malaika Arora Khan from the status of yet another hot model to ultimate item girl and was the only time Shekhar Kapur, Mani Ratnam and Ram Gopal Verma came together to make a movie) but it remains one of Shahrukh Khan’s biggest disasters till date.

But on the other hand, I have no explanation whatsoever for the success of, say, Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam, a dated, badly written piece of crap starring SRK, Madhuri Dixit and Salman Khan that was apparently made as a bit of industry charity to help out struggling Salman-faithful producer KC Bokadia. The only thing that sleazoid movie had going for it was a halfway decent soundtrack with exactly two hummable numbers and a scene in which a heartbroken, drunk SRK talks (so said the subtitles) to a “horsie”. Hee.

Anyway, getting back to business, Om Shanti Om is director Farah Khan’s sophomore effort after the very successful SRK-Sushmita Sen starrer, Main Hoon Na. The plot seems to weave in the same Bollywood-insider-pokes-gentle-fun-at-industry vibe of her first movie: Om is an extra in 1970s Bollywood who falls in love with Shantipriya, the “Dreamy Girl” of the era (debutante Deepika Padukone). Things happen, the two fall in love, get murdered and are then reborn as Sandy and Om. It would have been all sorts of fun if Om had turned into Shanti and vice versa but I don’t think that’s going to happen, alas.

Now it’s been a while since I had any fresh Bollywood music to listen to, so suffice it to say I leapt on the soundtrack with cries of joy… Okay, so, no, I didn’t but I considered doing it. Here’s what I found:

Ajab Si – I’m a sucker for simple melodies, especially when they manage to trick me into thinking I can sing them only to realize a few minutes later that I’m now a big hit in the local frog world (“Sorry, Mr. Frog, but I can’t make it to dinner today. I’m taking the year off from flies.”) but my neighbors have already put their house on the market. Ajab Si is definitely one of my favorites off the album, its lyrics perfectly conveying the wonder of a man who can’t believe his luck as he observes the girl of his dreams from up close.

Dard-e-Disco – If my calculations are correct, Sukhwinder Singh has sung precisely two songs: Chhaiyya Chhaiyya by AR Rehman and this Other Song by every other music director out there. It doesn't matter what they call it, the "dependable" Mr. Singh always sounds exactly the same. I’ve long since stopped listening to anything when I hear his voice because my brain has now received the message loud and clear – a Sukhwinder Singh song is not for listening, it’s for seeing. Shame, really, because given the right song, I bet he’d hit it out of the park. Not that he does anything wrong with this number. He really is a very talented man - half the numbers he's given would have tanked out of sight if he hadn't lent it whatever punch he has left. It’s just that it’s yet another variant of the Other Song. Question: if I’m this sick of this song he keeps singing, how do you imagine he feels?

Deewangi Deewangi – For the space of a quick second, I thought this was a qawwali. Never have I been disabused so fast or so rudely. Here follows a short letter to Javed Akhtar:

Dear Javed uncle,

I hope you don’t mind a complete stranger calling you ‘uncle’. I find it helps me pen this letter a lot more politely. I understand you are at the whim and mercy of the people who make the films. You’re just doing your job, satisfying the clients. But at the end of the day, when I pick up the disc, all I can see is that you are the man responsible for penning the immortal refrain “All hot girls, put your hands up and say - Om Shanti Om/ All cool boys come on make some noise and say - Om Shanti Om”. So, what’re all the fug girls and dorky guys gonna do, uncle? Hold each other’s hands and go see Saawariya, is my guess. Next time someone leans on you to write “cool” lines in angrezi-e-Amreeka, please throw a fit and then throw them out. You’re Javed Akhtar, for God’s sake! Just ask Shabana auntie. She’ll remind you.

Best wishes,

Amrita.

Main Agar Kahoon - This is my second favorite off this album in spite of Sonu Nigam's dedicated efforts to ham it up. Featuring what I later realized was the theme music, it's elevated immeasurably by the brief appearance of Shreya Ghoshal.

Jag Soona Soona Lage – You know this is a sad song right away by applying the Bollywood Code for Displaying Emotion, Rule # 3, Section 11A (Sadness): When a woman with a voice deeper than Lata Mangeshkar sings, she is always sad. Unless she’s horny. She cannot be sad and horny at the same time, however. Sorry. So here's Richa Sharma and Rahat Fateh Ali Khan, all sad and lovely. By far my favorite song in this album. I'm going to be the hit of the frog world with my cover of this one. Yeah, baby!

Dhoom Tana – I had visions of Sridevi in the pre-Yash Chopra/ dedicated Jeetendra phase all through this song even if it has a habit of making sudden detours through Shammi Kapoor country for no rhyme or reason. I'm always skeptical about a track that tries too hard to be all old-timey, not because I'm fundamentally opposed to reinterpretation or nostalgia but because it's really hard to pull off. This one takes a few minutes to get used to but ultimately, Vishal-Shekhar ought to get down on their dimpled knees and thank Shreya Ghoshal and Abhijeet for rendering it with just the right amount of conviction. Especially Abhijeet who keeps singing "Mrig-naini tu na jaane, prem kitna mere man mein hai" ("Doe-eyed one, thou dost not know the amount of love in mine heart") without once breaking down into hysterical giggles. Kudos. Still, this one's hardly likely to make it to my iPod. I am curious about its picturisation though.

Daastan-e-Om Shanti Om – When a movie about rebirth is called Om Shanti Om, it's a given that Karz is the first thing that pops into your head... if you're a fan of Bollywood at all events. Rather than ignore the elephant in the room, OSO takes it on head-first. And - I can't believe I'm typing this but - does a really good job. Oh, the lyrics and the refrain of the updated version aren't a patch on Ek hasina thi, which has been haunting Bollywood lovers for decades. In fact, the first thing that Daastan made me want to do was listen to Ek hasina thi all over again. And in a weird way, that actually helped. And how happy am I to find that Shaan sang this song? For a while there I was afraid he was going to devolve into the lightweight Cheshire Cat singer of Bollyworld. Good to know someone's using him to good effect at last. Just don't tell Sukhwinder.

Deewangi Deewangi (Rainbow mix) – see above. Also, note to producers: it's very nice of you to go the extra mile and make a rainbow mix for the gay and lesbian community of the desi diaspora. I'm sure the non-fug and non-dorky bits are properly appreciative.

Soundtrack available at a shop near you or on your favorite pirated music joint. Movie releases November 9.

Moser Baer's Cheap Movie CD/DVDs

enidhi — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 00:29:09 EDT

If you wish to watch a movie on your computer or Home theatre, what do you do?
Option 1: Buy an original VCD/DVD from a branded showroom by paying several hundred rupees (Legal high quality content but expensive)
Option 2: Buy a pirated VCD/DVD for say 50-100 Rupees or less (illegal, quality may not be good, but pretty cheap)
Option 3: Rent a VCD/DVD for Rs.15-30 approx (Usually good quality, Watch and return it (some people make a copy of it though))

Since cost is primary concern for most middle class people, many of us will be tempted to go for option 2 or 3 which directly or indirectly promotes piracy, when multiple illegal copies of a movie are made.

Are you aware (if you've seen their ads on TV) that original VCDs and DVDs can be purchased at the cost of pirated ones? Moser Baer India (BSE:MOSR, a leading digital media manufacturer) has taken an initiative in this regard wherein they sell Full movie VCDs Rs 28 onwards and DVDs Rs 34 onwards.

What? Tell me more...

Hindi and regional language film VCDs are priced at Rs 28, English movie VCDs are priced at Rs 49, DVDs priced at Rs 34 onwards (Regional Languages-Rs 34, English: Rs 69). The price is so aggressive that it is at par with option 2 and 3 listed above. For the price of a pirated one you get original one. Even if you thought of taking a VCD on rent and making a copy using your DVD writer, it still makes more sense to buy original one.

Where do I get them?

All leading music stores, departmental stores like Big Bazaar, even some stationary shops sell these cheap VCDs and DVDs. To buy online or for exact address of outlets checkout Moserbaer Home entertainment website.

Is it profitable for Moser Bear to do this?

Yes. Moser Baer has its own manufacturing unit for digital media (CDRs and DVDRs etc) so the cost of CD/DVD for them is negligible (Blank CDRs retail at around Rs 6 onwards while DVDRs retail at Rs 15 onwards. Manufacturing cost should be around 20% of that amount). The movies they sell are usually old ones which do not have much demand as such, so it makes profitable sense to sell them with very low margin.

Advantages for buyers:

1. Satisfaction of buying a legal copy
2. Good quality video, with casings (Rs 28 VCDs come in pouch while rest come in jewel case/boxes) and colour labels. CD case free if you buy 10+ VCDs online
3. No dent on pocket. Price at par with pirated or rented movies
4. Not only Hindi and English movies, but also video items (movies as well as several other videos ) in several regional languages (Kannada, Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam etc) are also available)
5. Current offer: Free shipping and Free CD case for purchase of 20+ Units

Other things one should know:

1. No refund, No exchange, No guarantee. Few may be of bad quality or may not play properly if faulty. You need to take that risk.
2. Latest movies may not be available like this. Only those which are few years old are sold this way (if the movie is good and if you've not watched it yet it is still worth collecting it.) (Note: Some exceptions may be there: for example, Apne and ek chalis ki last local, Hindi movies few months old but weren't a success at box office, are already available with MB. Newer movies are priced few rupees higher.
3. All movies will have Moser Baer watermark on them.
4. DVD-R is capable of storing more than just 1 movie, but only one movie is available per DVD.(No additional videos as well, say the making of the movie) (They could have clubbed 2-3 movies and sold for few rupees extra (It would be really convenient to have Home Alone 1, 2 and 3 or Spiderman 1 2 and 3 etc in a single disc instead of half a dozen of them)

My experience: I bought three Moser Baer VCDs and 1 DVD recently from Big Bazaar (Ameerpet Hyderabad). VCDs were quite good, but I am not happy with picture quality in the DVD I bought (This might be a selective case and may not be applicable to all DVD movies. The movie was very very old and probably no DVDs were in existence that time. Maybe the movie was stored in DVD directly from a VHS or CD)

This is an attempt by Moser Baer to focus on sales volume and gain profit, which is beneficial for both consumers who want genuine content at reasonable price and for companies who do not want to loose their market to piracy industry. I remember Lahari Recordings in Karnataka were selling original audio cassettes for Rs 20 once upon a time. These moves, if become popular among masses, should help eradicate video piracy and save entertainment industry. A pirated DVD (containing 3-4 latest movies) gets sold for around Rs 40 (negotiable) at Burma Bazaar Chennai (and at similar places in other cities), hence there's still a competition for Moser Baer. I hope people change their mind and shift towards MB.

Music Review: Britney Spears - Gimme More

Temple Stark — Sat, 8 Sep 2007 14:28:10 EDT

There are plenty of people, including Desi bloggers, who obsess over Britney Spears. Not the music, naturally, as it was never anything to obsess about in the first place. Still, if Britney's going to channel her over-abundant energy, music is one of the healthier ways to do it.

Still Britney and the presence she now is, was NEVER about the music, and she's not talented enough in any capacity to ever make it so. That's not a reason to be disgusted by her, though.

Gimme More is either the teaser song to her upcoming November album or its first single. As in the realm of politics, it's a trial balloon. Her handlers are putting it out there to see if people like it. If not, they know to change their approach.

Here's the phrase that comes to mind after listening to the song: Abort the Mission. Abort. Abort. Abort.

That "Gimme More" might be a club hit, is not a guarantee, but it's rapidly becoming the conventional wisdom. The whole affair starts with a "It's Britney, Bitch" spoken declaration and that's the best part. The entire song gets slightly better if you listen to it a few times. A TI remix adds a welcome deeper buzzing to this as well, but not much more.

Still, "Gimme More"? That's either the most brazen "fuck you, I can take it" line (not at all borne out by the lyrics, unfortunately) or it's Britney continuing to be Britney, which at this point isn't a good thing. Is Britney totally unaware of the fuck-up she's become, of the open ridicule she faces for her actions beyond music, which started from her ill-fated, even-then-a-copy "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic" TV program? This highlighted so much about B.J. (Britney Jean) Spears that could not be admired.

"Gimme More" also ends in an pronouncement from the producer Nate Hills that this is the "legendary Ms. Britney Spears." Act like you've been there before, comes to mind. Infamous is the better word choice here.

Two other new songs have been leaked, "Cold as Fire" which is more fun, but still has the lack of self-awareness with its juiced-box subject matter. It's better than "Gimme More" just because it's different from the usual, but her voice has been digitally stretched to surgical-enhanced proportions.

Britney songs that have packed sizzling heat include, "I've Got That, Boom Boom", "Toxic." "Chaotic" and, "I'm A Slave 4 U" despite the character weakness displayed in the title. "Lucky" also told a coherent story that likely connected with many fans. "Isn't she lovely this Hollywood girl? ... If there's nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night."

But, really, doesn't "Gimme More" have instant Macarena status? That is, it took months for that song (and dance) to become a cliche and passe and now it's relegated to breaking the ice at wedding receptions, reunions and the happier-brand of funerals. But you don't hear it at clubs anymore because it's embarrassing and no longer new.

Doesn't "embarrassing" and "no longer new" perfectly describe Britney Spears now? The fact she's trying to project coolness when she's done so much in the public eye to come off as clueless, doesn't work. Does Tanya Harding still skate professionally? Is R. Kelly producing music? Does OJ have NFL endorsements? Does a bear wipe his ass in the woods with a fluffy white rabbit?

In this way, Britney Spears has prematurely aged. Can she create a new persona or enter a different musical room? Let's hope so, because she can no longer carry off what she could before. She is no longer credible. Trouble is, her voice is all breath and no body, and this will make highlighting her voice a problem.

She's filled the same niche from the beginning. The world acted surprised when In The Zone was released because it expressed a more sexual side of Britney Spears. The world was deluding itself. She was a cock-tease from the beginning with "Oops, I Did It Again."

People still believed her good southern girl act, except she was also in a Catholic School girl uniform. In that song she even says, "I'm not that innocent" and people a year later swallowed, despite much evidence to the contrary, that she could be a virgin. Her first hit, "Hit Me Baby, One More Time" - which mentioned "loneliness" ("My loneliness is killing me") like so many of her songs do - more than amply demonstrated that she couldn't sing as she warbled out, "Oh baby baby, how was I supposed to knoooo--ohhhhhh? that something wasn't right."

Still people enabled her success because, well, I'm not completely sure why. She was hot, but guys weren't the ones buying the music, for the most part. There's another aspect to this that's worth mentioning. Guys first want to be rock stars because they "get the chicks." This raises the questions, why do they get the chicks and the flip side, what drives girls to want to be like Britney Spears? It's a puzzlement of society why people like Britney Spears achieve success in the little girl record-buying demographic. What, other than the success and money itself, makes girls think she's an example of anything worth emulating?

In the immortal words of Eminem, "Britney Spears is garbage." Yep, that's harsh and I feel bad for saying it but feel worse that it's been true for a long time. Sure anyone can feel sorry for her or wish her the best in life but that doesn't mean we have to listen.

Himesh Reshammiya Caught In A Burqa At The Ajmer Shrine

Deepti Lamba — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 06:57:17 EDT

The BBC Headline piqued my interest - Indian Male Singer In Burqa Row

As the link loaded I wondered who the singer was and had he grabbed some burqa clad woman. But much to my surprise I found myself staring at a picture of Himesh Reshammiya wearing a burqa at the Ajmer Shrine.

Himesh was quick to apologize in case he had offended any one's sensibilities but said he wore the burqa to pray in peace since his fans at the main entrance gate of the shrine had mobbed him

The shrine of Hazrat Khwaja Moinuddin Hassan Chishti, a medieval Muslim saint, dominates the town of Ajmer.

The shrine draws followers from across India's faiths, including Hindus, Sikhs, Christians, Parsees and Jains.

Reshammiya created a stir at the shrine on Tuesday night when some devotees spotted him in a burqa. They took it up with the prayer attendants.

Though the act of wearing a woman's garb by Reshammiya may not get more than a few chuckles in Bollywood since crossing dressing is seen as a form of relief comedy in Bollywood movies but it may cause an uproar in the Muslim community.

Vinyl Tap: Brian Wilson

Gordon Hauptfleisch — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 09:25:10 EDT

I get a new turntable and dust off some old records. Vinyl Tap #41:

It was 1988, the dreaded year of the Kokomo. We were musical miles from cruisin’ to the hamburger stand now, or the columnated ruins domino...

But, brilliant as he is, who needs a Van Dyke Parks -- let alone the other Beach Boys -- for Brian Wilson’s first solo album? The affecting lead-off track, “Love and Mercy,” is so harmony drenched and direct -- “I was sittin’ in a crummy movie with my hands on my chin / Oh the violence that occurs seems like we never win” -- that even Mike Love surely would comprehend and approve.

And overall, though the self-titled release was tainted with an ‘80s-style synth-stiffened production -- making for a mixed and inconsistent effort that kept it from being fully successful -- its many high points ascended and soared with its harmonies, beating out any of the other Brian-less and brainless Beach Boy LPs of the era. (In one particularly egregious alphabet-soup merchandising move, you can now own the M.I.U. Album and L.A. (Light Album) packaged together! Supplies while they last… and last, and last, and…)

In addition to “Love and Mercy,” other hook-driven contempo-confections in Brian Wilson include “Walking the Line,” and “Night Time.” “Let it Shine, though another new song at the time, was co-written and produced by Jeff Lynne, not only making it sound like we've taken a wayback machine trip to ELO Land, but also spurring the thought that Brian might be a shoe-in for another re-teaming of the Traveling Wilburys. Though he might end up being a Non-Traveling Wilbury.

But as much as Brain may want to live in the present or look ahead to tomorrow, the more successful moments on the album belong to those songs that harken back. “One For The Boys” evokes one of those a cappella exercises in harmony the Beach Boys executed so effortlessly and marvelously in the early '60s, while “Little Children,” an impulsively-written ditty about toddling daughters Carnie and Wendy, suggests something -- “I Wanna Pick You Up,” perhaps -- from the spirited, homespun, and Brian-led masterwork from 1977, The Beach Boys Love You.

But it is in the Pet Sounds-like one-two punch of tracks three and four, “Melt Away,” and “Baby Let Your Hair Grow Long,” that Brain is most impassioned as he conveys some heartfelt lyrics with vocal expressiveness. “I wonder why nothin’ ever seems to go my way,” he implores in “Melt Away,” in Tony Asher-like lyrics set against Sounds-sonics with all the bells-and whistles (quite literally in some regards), and heart-tug harmonies that do indeed seem to dissolve away all cares and concerns:

“Baby Let Your Hair Grow Long,” has an obvious and immediate parallel with the melancholy classic “Caroline, No” as it recalls and redoubles the anguish from that time in 1965 when “In my mind I can see just the way you used to be”:

Could we ever bring back the glow once it’s been gone? “Baby Let Your Hair Grow Long” doesn’t hold out much hope, especially as reiterated with its emphatically punctuated and breathtakingly executed refrain throughout: “Don’t want girls who don’t care about nothin’ / And throw their lives away…”

Speaking of breathtaking, you’ll run into the wall of Spector with “Meet Me In My Dreams Tonight,” while the concluding and ambitious eight-minute “Rio Grande” suite will offer you a chance to encounter an erratic grab bag of Americana moods of shifting merit.

Taken as a whole, the wide-ranging musical terrain in "Rio" reflects Brian’s passions of old and new, as it suggests, for example, his past Smile-time grand statements in whatever recorded dribs and drabs or ultimate incarnations, and his inspired take in 2004’s re-imagined Smile that shows his continued interest in experimenting, and in advancing and progressing - indeed reflective of the “Rio Grande, the great big river," that keeps “Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ on…”

Kalyanji Anandji - Relevant Legends

Sanket Vyas — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 00:51:31 EDT

Bollywood of yesteryear was much easier to classify in regards to its music than it is today. The male singers short list consisted of Mohammed Rafi, Mukesh & Kishore Kumar - if you needed a female voice you called Lata Mangheshkar or her sister/rival Asha Bhonsle.

Similarly the music composers carried more weight than the film directors, as hit songs could all but guarantee a strong opening for the movie. Those composers are mostly gone now but far from forgotten and their names still invoke fond memories for many a Bollywood fan - S.D. Burman, his son R.D. Burman, Laxmikant Pyarelal, Shankar Jaikishen, Naushad, O.P. Nayyar and Kalyanji Anandji.

Kalyanji Shah & his brother Anandji Shah moved from Kutch (in Gujarat) to Bombay in the early 1950s to start a family business. A local businessman who owed their father money gave them their first musical lessons in lieu of paying his bill and the rest as they say is history.

They worked with most of the musical greats of that era and were responsible for many memorable film scores (Don, Qurbani, Muqaddar Ka Sikandar & Lawaaris). It was a different time back then as evidenced by a story recalled by the surviving brother (Anandji) from the late 1970s...

"Lataji was a regular at our place for Kutchi home-cooked food, while Ashaji would frequently come over as well. Once we had a major concert lined up with Kishore Kumar in Mumbai but he suddenly took ill. Ashaji and R D Burmansaab called us up at that critical hour and without accepting any money, performed at our show all evening.
"Burmansaab even belted out our hits like 'Khaike Paan' from Don. Shortly after they had called, we also had got a call from Lataji offering to come sing at the same show."

R.D. Burman singing 'Khaike Paan'? Live in Bombay? Where's a time machine when you need one? Below is a picture of Lata Mangeshkar flanked by the two brothers Shah.

It was a different era back then but lest someone think that these legendary musicians are no longer relevant, one needs look no further than the resurgence that their music is enjoying today.

Everyone from the hottest DJ's (who have the hipsters wearing their cool t-shirts) to the Black Eyed Peas (who credited Kalyanji/Anandji on their Grammy award winning album last year) are exposing their 1970s songs to a worldwide audience paying homage to the maestros' tracks that featured funk breakbeats, wah-wah guitars and Motown-style orchestrations.

Kalyanji passed away five years ago but his brother is still doing concerts in front of packed crowds - if you live in the Atlanta area don't miss this once in a lifetime chance to see a true Bollywood legend.

Movie Review: Nishabd - A Desi Oldie's Take

GV Krishnan — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 01:59:08 EDT

Instant reaction to the movie: It's phony.

I don't think the film has come to my town, Mysore, which has a sizable presence of Nishabd's target audience - senior citizens. I wish the local film society holds special screening for oldies on the next 'Father's Day'. The movie has educative value insofar as it opens out possibilities for eligible oldies, with time on hand and twiddling their thumbs waiting for out-of-the-box adulthood ideas.

For those unfamiliar with the theme, the film is about a sixty-year old falling for a teenage friend his daughter brought home for vacation. Maybe it is the other way round, with the teenager getting serious on someone old enough to be her father. I don't know if our generation next really goes for such men, and themes.

In the book, Lolita, from which film-maker Ram Gopal Verma, presumably, drew inspiration, author Nabokov made the plot a lot more messy, but this doesn't make Nishabd any less disgusting for me, a desi oldie with a middle-class mindset.

Nishabd is a cross-culture movie, in the sense that a plot that belonged to Ramsdale, New England, gets played out in Ranikhet, a hill town in UP (or wherever the film has been shot). One wonders if the theme and substance of this story is truly adaptable in a desi setting. Of all the fantasy Bollywood has made, a movie of this 18-60 love equation depicted in Nishabd is truly outlandish.

My wife (we're in 64-68 age equation) embellished our film-watching pleasure with her expert comments throughout the run of the DVD. When a dejected Amitabh, driven to a suicide attempt, returns home without accomplishing it my wife said it all in Tamil: "Avan Nasamai poga!" (damn him!). For the teenage lover in Nishabd she used a stock word: "kazhusadai (garbage).

I don't see why Amitabh Bachchan has to affect a whisper when he bursts into a monologue. Besides being irritating, I couldn't catch much of what he says. If Amitabh mumbles through the film on director's orders, it could do with sub-titles. Nishabd is nothing if not script-driven. When he doesn't mumble we see a lot of jeep driving by Mr B. For me his most dramatic gesture in the film was when Amitabh gives a lingering blank stare when Jiah Khan, teenage friend of his daughter, tells the old man she has a crush on him.

The 18-year-old asks her friend's father, married for 27 years, if he has had any 'chukkar' with someone after marriage. I don't know if this kind of talk is commonplace even the most westernized desi families.

Music Review: Intelligence Failure Buckethead & Viggo Mortensen

Richard Marcus — Sun, 4 Mar 2007 06:06:13 EST

Probably from the beginning of military history the words Military Intelligence have generated hilarity among common soldiers. Learning not to trust anything except what they see in front of their eyes has become common for soldiers no matter how sophisticated the technology at the disposal of their "intelligence" sources.

Which when you think about it makes you wonder why everybody was so quick to believe the initial intelligence reports of Iraq's weapons of mass destruction. With no actual eyewitnesses as of yet confirming the existence of even a bug bomb, let alone facilities to make nuclear weaponry, the question of their existence has long since passed into the realm of the less said about it the better by the American military establishment and its political masters.

This of course hasn't stopped those who have opposed the war from the onset forgetting what was originally given as the motivation for the invasion of Iraq. So the title of the latest collaboration between Viggo Mortensen and guitar virtuoso Buckethead (the man with the penchant for wearing an empty bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken and a mask as a disguise while on stage to preserve his secret identity) Intelligence Failure can be read within that context quite easily, especially considering its contents.

The eight tracks contained on this CD are constructed utilizing excerpts from speeches and news conferences given by current and former members of the Republican administration. They are mixed down and overdubbed with new and previously composed music played by Viggo Mortensen, Buckethead, Henry Mortensen, Walter Mortensen, and Travis Dickerson.

So you get to hear some of the greatest "hits" from the past few years, including such favourites as Colin Powell's speech to the United Nations assuring the world that the weapons of mass destruction exist. Or how about George Bush's witty comment about seeing the first of the planes going into the World Trade Centre "I thought, there's a bad pilot".

Of course it's not all one liners, there's also the serious statement from such distinguished gentlemen like Karl Rove exhorting Republicans that's it their job to convince the American people they are the party to that will be able to win the war on terror. Or George Bush, again, explaining to America why other people hate them; not mentioning anything about the exploitation of natural resources, support of repressive regimes, or how living in poverty for generations can create resentment towards examples of conspicuous consumption.

Intelligence Failure makes no bones about its politics or where it stands on the issue of the Iraq war. Obviously this is not going to find favour among those who think that voicing an opinion contrary to the one held by the White House is anti-American or unpatriotic.

Aware of that, the creators of the disc also include the voice of American historian Howard Zinn at one point offering some timely reminders about patriotism, politics, and history. "Patriotism" he says "does not mean loving your political leaders it means loving your country" Or he asks what basis has history ever given us for having faith in the leadership abilities of our politicians in the past forty years.

He doesn't list the decisions of leadership over the past forty years that have brought about this state of affairs, but you don't even need to look back that far. It's been the mistakes since Vietnam that have brought the world to the situation we face now. The unstinting support of The Shah of Iran, supplying arms to the Taliban for their war against the Russians in Afghanistan, and turning a blind eye to Saddam's use of poison gas on Kurds when he was their ally fighting against Iran in the mid 1980s have all contributed.

The first time I heard a "found sound" recording utilizing the taped words of public figures offset with music was My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts put together by David Byrne and Brian Eno back in the early 1980's. Intelligence Failure is the first attempt at this type of project that I have heard since then that has been as innovative and inventive in its use of sound, voice and technology to create atmosphere and mood.

The music and the voices are worked together so that on occasion the music dominates to the extent that the voices become indistinct but remain as a persistent drone; an ever present reminder of their existence and persistence in our lives. The voices of George Bush and the rest of the gang have been the undercurrent that has sent repercussions throughout the world since they first came to power no matter if we hear them or not.

Like an undertow they exist under the placid surface of life creating eddies and whirlpools that continually threaten to suck us all under. At times the music is that placid exterior existing in counterpoint to the terror created by these men and women. At other times the music becomes discordant and jarring; a reflection of their effect upon the world as seen by the creators of the piece.

Intelligence Failure can be seen as a reference to the joke I talked about at the beginning of this review. Or it can be seen as a general commentary on the state of American society which suffered a collective intelligence failure as it got caught up in the emotional turmoil that surrounded the attack on New York City and the aftermath.

A third option is the possibility that it refers to our collapse as a species in terms of striving to create a counter balance to our ability to destroy. In the first track on the CD "Demolition Of The Willing" Viggo picks out Beethoven's "Ode To Joy" on the piano while Henry reads/sings/chants English lyrics of brotherhood and friendship to the tune. While to some this may be a sign of resistance, to me it feels more like a sign of how far we've fallen that no one has created anything near as beautiful or celebratory as Beethoven's 9th Symphony.

With all our technological advancements, our so called culture and society that others envy and covet, all we can do is produce is an atmosphere that frowns on original thought and puts down intelligence as some sort of aberration. Artistic creativity is dismissed as being less then manly and otherwise suspect.

Science and technology that if properly funded could eliminate our need for fossil fuels is ignored and under funded, but billions of dollars a year are spent on figuring out ways of killing each other. Money is available for creating passport-screening programs at the world longest friendly border, but doesn't exist to rebuild one of the oldest cities in continental North America after the devastation of Katrina.

Intelligence Failure by Buckethead and Viggo maybe seen by some, even its creators, as simply a commentary on the Iraq war and its circumstances, but that's just one symptom of a much larger intelligence failure. Buckethead and Viggo have created an aural sound collage with the intent of trying to open people's ears to a new way of listening to the same old words and maybe hearing something a little different then they heard the first time round.

Depending on how close people are willing to listen, they may even hear deeper then the creators hoped. This disc isn't going to end the war, or probably even change that many minds about it. Those who are still supporting it at this late stage aren't about to change anymore. But maybe what it will do is help those who did see some justice in it originally understand why they feel so cheated and betrayed now. Maybe it will encourage them to think a little and ask why the next time when someone comes waving a flag to lead them off to war.

American Idol: I'm Not Voting for Sanjaya

Amrita Rajan — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 09:47:54 EST

If you're one of the millions of American Idol addicts around the globe, then you already know that Sanjaya Malakar is a talented young man with a very nice voice who's bringing the fetus to television in ways I could have sworn only TR Knight of Grey's Anatomy fame could bring. If you know any Indian or are one yourself, however, it is entirely possible that you know Sanjaya as the "Indian contestant".

I want you to turn to those people and yell, "Shut up!" as loud as you can. If it was you who called him the "Indian contestant", then I want you to find the nearest and biggest mirror you can get a hold of and yell "Fool!" to your reflection.

To back up a bit, I obviously didn't just wake up this morning and want to yell at random people; it took me days to get to this point. It all started when the Cheshire Cat sent his deputy a.k.a. Sanjaya to audition for American Idol. I want you all to pause and read that last bit again - American Idol.

He arrived to audition with his sister Shyamali, a very pretty singer, but it quickly became apparent that Sanjaya was the one oozing talent - even if he kept threatening to disappear into his own smile. This is how Shyamali introduced the siblings' connection to music:

"This is our dad," she said, pointing to a very nervous looking man. "He's from India and a musician."

They all seemed very nice and, despite AI's ham-handed attempts to create drama where there was none, I found them both charming. Not because their father was Indian, but because they looked like they were nice kids. But that's not how a lot of people I know have taken it. .

See, I understand it's a big deal for most of us to see someone from our neck of the woods, no matter how peripherally, do well. We've all been out of it for so long behind the Bharatnatyam Barrier or whatever you like to call it, that its understandably thrilling for some people to point at folks like Sanjaya and Shyamali as shining examples of Indians doing well. It's going to be some time before we got over our impulse to just claim everything in sight.

Added to this is the question almost every expatriate Indian parental unit (and some in India as well) are compelled to ask at least once - how do we keep our kids Indian? Your solution is a little easier within India where you live surrounded by Indians and have access to the odd grandparent or two to come hang out with your kid. But in firang lands, where you're in a minority and far from 'home', it becomes a bit of a challenge. Most people I know seem to depend on Bollywood to do the job for them.

A while back, my aunt, who was part of the great 60s migratory wave to the United States, was telling me about her eldest grandson. The entire family was in attendance at the wedding of a close friend/relative and it was something of a red letter day for all the kiddies because they got to dress up in little Indian outfits, learn a new dance or two, put flowers in their hair and see more Indians in one place than they'd ever seen before. My nephew walked in the door and was immediately intimidated by the scene in front of him. Eventually, however, he met another little boy.

Nephew: "Hi, where're you from?"
Little Boy: "I'm from India."
Nephew (face lighting up as he finally understood what he was doing there): "I'm from India too!"

But the fact is, these kids are American. I'm not saying it has to be one or the other - that's a very narrow minded way of looking at things. I'm saying that an essential bit of them will always be American in the same way mine will always be Indian. You can call them Americans of Indian origin or Indo-Americans but you cannot claim them as Indians.

If Sanjaya Malakar was Indian, then he'd be performing live on Indian Idol, getting sneered at by the likes of Cowell-wannabe (I understand every Idol country's got one) Palash Sen rather than getting ripped into shreds by Cowell himself. But he's not Indian, he's American. So he gets to stand in front of His Britishness and learn just how much he sucks.

To the credit of the Americans, they get it. Well, it's hard not to get it when the name of the bloody show is American Idol isn't it? If they love him, then it's because he's a baby and we've already seen last year with the agonizing success of Chicken Little (sorry, can't remember his name) that America loves its loser babies. By the same token, if they hate him it's because he practically handed us all a photo of himself to be used as the definition of "suck".

Now, I don't know the Malakars personally, and I don't know if it bothers them when people call them Indians or whether they are proud to be called Indian and frankly, I don't care. People have to deal with their own stuff all the time and figuring out who you are is an essential part of the journey into adulthood. I wish them luck and am not inclined to pry unless Shyamali turns into Britney Spears or something (dude, Shyamali, I know you're young and probably mad as hell right now but please don't, okay?).

What bothers me is that people expect me to give a crap about Sanjaya because of his ethnicity.

I've had some severe doubts about the talent on the show this year and when I look at some of the people who got into the final 24 (20 now, yay!) I still can't help but think that I'd as soon cut my throat as buy albums put out by some of these people. Well, okay that's hyperbole - if buying a sucky CD with Sundance Head yelling his head off can save my life, obviously I'll do it, but that's not the point.

The point is, I don't want to vote for Sanjaya. I think he's a sweet kid but he's completely outclassed by his peers in this competition at this point of time (seriously, they need to set the age limit a little higher - it's a massacre out there on stage every year) and I am not going to vote for him based on who his father was.

It's racist, it's condescending, and at a time when music lovers everywhere are bemoaning the industry's rapid collapse into the bottomless pit of mediocrity combined with commercialism (Paris Hilton has a single out - Paris fucking Hilton!), it's about the worst message to send record companies. I didn't buy Norah Jones' album because her father was Pt. Ravi Shankar; I bought it because she blew my mind. So I'm not going to vote for Sanjaya Malakar's boring pipes when Melinda Doolittle breaks my heart every time she lights up the stage.

And I'm not less of an Indian for saying so.