OPINION

Nawwab and I: Invisible Chastity Belts

January 04, 2010
temporal


credit


N: You should go into manufacturing.
t: Me? Manufacturing?
N: Well you have friends who can put this together. You don't have to mop the floors. Just put up some seed money, gather your friends and do a start-up and it will take off.
t: Arrggh! This is not another hare brained Syedtester? I suppose you have a product in mind?
N: Chastity belts.
t: Hmmmm...what have you been sniffing lately? And have you been inhaling it too?
N: Woof woof! Just because I am a dog ...
t: It has nothing to do with hydrants Nawwab!
N: Cheap shot.

t: OK. Apologies. But chastity belts are so passe.
N: You don't know.
t: The ultra orthodox use it...er thrust it....er imprison their women in it?
N: And Farhat Hashmi clones also encourage women to embrace it.
t: Embrace? How embarrassing.
N: Regardless of your revulsion there is money to be made here.
t: I am allergic to it.
N: Yes you are, but you use it. And now there is a niche.
t: Alright, you would not let me return to the Redskins unless I hear you out.
N: What is it with you and perennial losers? Leafs, Jays, Redskins?
t: Who mentioned cheap shots earlier?
N: Look, be serious. There is a huge market for Chastity belts.
t: Yeah, yeah BDSMs.
N: No, it is not about tops and bottoms. These are aimed at real people, orthodox, controlling who use it almost daily.
t: Hey, Nawwab you are serious about this.
N: Woof woof! In the wake of the CrotchBomber, airport security has been further tightened.
t: That delusional idiot! Now they would scan the whole body.
N:That is my point. Old chastity belts would show up on the body scanners.
t: And so you want me to manufacture invisible chastity belts?
N: Now you are barking... er talking.
t: And how would they be invisible?
N: Heard of stealth bombers? Modify the same alloys to escape body scanner detection. There, I gave this away.
t: You are incredible, Nawwab.
N: And with good marketing campaign you can sell it to both men and women.
t: Men also?
N: Why not? Don't they have....
t: OK no need to explain this further...some grown up children also read this.
N: And there is more. Once you develop this alloy that would not be detected by the body scanners, you can branch into coated nipple piercings.
t: You are on a roll Nawwab.
N: Woof woof, and Lil S says you can also coat tampons.
t: Now, that is a winner. Lil S? Do I know her?
N: How do you know she is a her?
t: I learn from you O Nawwab!

love people who are in awe of words. words are the sole arbiter and the final survivor. desicritic editor, slave and slave-driver.
eXTReMe Tracker
Keep reading for comments on this article and add some feedback of your own!

Comments! Feedback! Speak and be heard!

Comment on this article or leave feedback for the author

Add your comment



Personal attacks are not allowed. Please read our comment policy.






Remember Name/URL?

Please preview your comment!