OPINION

Nature And Women

January 26, 2009
Deepti Lamba

The theories aired here are all mine. They are subjective and the report used here is merely to substantiate my bias.

Read the two sentences? Now we can begin.

Nature intended man to be the tiller and woman to be the earth. Women bodies are more fat than muscle as opposed to men, we tend to hoard more and get this we tend to be less able to resist our hunger pangs than men. According to a study conducted by Gene-Jack- Wang MD:

Hungry women can't control their desire for food as well as hungry men can, a brain imaging study suggests.

The finding may explain why women are more prone to emotional eating and why women are less likely than men to lose weight while dieting.

"Women have a much stronger reaction to food, such that whether they try to inhibit their desire or not, they have stronger signal [in the part of the brain that controls hunger perception and desire to eat]," study leader Gene-Jack Wang, MD, tells WebMD.

The above article made me choke on my third chocolate cookie. I haven't fallen off the bandwagon completely but at the same time I cannot resist the goodies either especially when I have hunger pangs.

I got inspired and carried out a personal survey which consisted of five women (remember its a biased report) and three men. (Some survey, right? bear with me)
The women I knew where trying to lose weight by eating right and not dieting.

Over phone calls I spoke about food with them; food that they had been staying away from to lose weight. Most had lost substantial amount by eating right and exercising but the cravings never left them.

What did they miss the most? The mouth melting tenderness of a pizza, pasta, pastries, paranthas, deep fried food, butter, ghee, chocolates and the list went on.

I put us all through the torture and then waited till the evening and called them back. And they all had fallen off the bandwagon just a little bit- like me!

I then spoke to three guys I got to know at the gym. I called them up and asked how the dieting was going. Whether they missed the alcohol, the late nights, the in between gorging, the sweets?

They laughed and replied - it was all about diverting one's thought process. One would go off to play cricket, the other would run and the third would call up his skinny girl friend and have a fight...I mean talk to her.

They were precise in their dedication. They wanted the SRK lean body and the abs of John Abraham etc

The women however never thought they could get Bipasha's abs ever; the hanging gut would reduce but not leave entirely. One was informed that liposuction was the only solution.

Being 'fat- asses' the sisterhood had decided that we could live with reduction and not perfection given our ages as well.

Since time was short I asked the guys how many times they had fallen off the bandwagon and over what?

They all had one common answer- over booze with their chaadi pals and that too on weekends. Otherwise it had been a breeze.
At last there was one commonality between them and us- booze but they were quick to respond that they hit the gym the next day with or without the hangover.

Was there guilt involved? They replied - No! Why would there be guilt?

I did not open up the Pandora's box. The hatred towards the mother earth hips, the thunder thighs, the saggy boobs or the thickened ankles.

These guys were overweight but oozed confidence. Successful in their fields and had tons of self esteem. They had targets. They were sure they would get back into shape. It was the hunter goal oriented mentality spilling with blind optimism.

The women on the other hand were cautious and talked more about losing weight for health reasons. They negated that it had nothing to do with self esteem but then sheepishly agreed that while they loved the food the weight had them worried deep within their hearts.

Even the most ferocious of them who'd eat people at boardrooms held this secret deep within her heart.  To protect their 'self love' they inevitably got defensive about their weight whether society pressurized them or not.

Weight, food and emotions! The three are our mantra but not of men generally speaking. They are made of a different mould.

Nature wants us, women, to weigh more (healthy weight), store more , make  babies more and to love more. That's nature's way of telling us women to be a happy.

Nature knows nothing about jobs that make us women slobs and less likely to exercise, nature doesn't know anything about heartbreaks that make us finish bars and bars of chocolates or go on eating binges. All nature knows is to make us multiple and with our limited ovaries nature is always on the overdrive with us and not with the men.

Men can father babies even when they are in their seventies, maybe even when they have one foot in the grave they can squirt out some tiny life giving sperms. They can till the fields till their dying breaths but we run fallow (thankfully) and nature doesn't like it and she maximizes and we women lose the battle.

But we needn't work against nature. We can work with her through our metabolism rate.That is her gift to us and the ability to build stamina. After all when the dinosaurs came (subscribing to the christian creationist theories) we had the strength to grab our tots and run.

However, for the modern women steeped in world full of heavenly food its an uphill battle that we truly never win. Sometime or the other we slide off and find ourselves face deep in a mud choco pie. Why? Because we grew up as food junkies. Even the sexist film stars are on diets. Its the way we live.

But this junkie lifestyle may not be the fate of our daughters if we bring them up with the notion that exercising is like flossing and sugar is just as bad as tobacco.We have to be fearless like the Amazonian goddesses and lay it out to our future female warriors that nature has a clear agenda for us and apart from screwing up our bodies to be baby making machines she tricks us with men.
Yes, men . There are those who want skinny babes all through their lives but most men come to love the woman and not her body. They love the person within just like they love themselves warts and all.

They adore the mother of their children, the apple of their eyes and no matter how fruity our bodies get they love us even more till we ripen so much that our arteries get blocked with love.

We are after all geared to make babies, be mother earths to be tilled and bear fruits of labouring love. But like I said we can work with nature; we can be imperfect Xena the warrior princesses- all curvy, sexy, mommies who work like demons on the treadmill, give in to our cravings once in a while, not begrudge ourselves for the pounds put on and love the men and children in our lives.

Nature has her goals and so do we. We should work with her and make her work with us. In the end the earth is reaped and there is pleasure both in the sowing and the reaping.

Related: Rich Men Give Women Better Orgasms

Deepti Lamba is a writer, an editor for Desicritics. She can be found at Things That Bang
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#1
temporal
URL
January 26, 2009
10:13 AM

dee:

ah the pleasures of ....

that related link! (called my buddies at VonSiffers Inc to get their reaction... for part of my informal survey...sadly they were all busy spamming here and there...mostly there...)

#2
Vinod Joseph
January 26, 2009
10:38 AM

Deepti, despite the very promising start and caveats, you haven't said anything that could be controversial. Not even the most ardent feminist would dispute that nature intended women to have babies and men to be the 'tillers'. You say that women find dieting tougher, but you stop at that. Would you say that because only women can bear children (and possibly because they put on weight more easily), they should contribute more to child rearing, that is, make much more career sacrifices etc. than the tillers responsible for the brats in the first place? Would you say that feminists are wrong in trying to prove that women can do as much as men in the modern work place, in government and society in general?

#3
Deepti Lamba
URL
January 26, 2009
11:02 AM

temporal, give it time; they just may change their mind and there are those who would tell you that female orgasm is an insidious feminist invention to emasculate the man.

Vinod, my answer is the usual overused cliched line- takes a village to bring up a child;)

#4
anon
January 26, 2009
11:21 AM

Men on an average have greater self esteem that women. Women tend to see themselves more realistically and studies have proven that depressed people are the most realistic of them all :) Men also have a greater capacity towards self serving bias than women.

#5
Slime_id
January 26, 2009
11:46 AM

Long time an article was due which respected nature. Women and Men are made according to nature and at times there are distractions.

..Yes .. Real Men wont pick that article related as this natural article has more taste.

#6
ajay
URL
January 26, 2009
12:09 PM

Nice post :-)

Just a thought, would the concept of fertility treatment go against nature? Since nature decides who is fit and fertile enough to procreate.
Also, I remember reading somewhere (not sure how true) about educated couples (with higher IQs) having fewer babies and having them later. The ones who are less educated and with lower IQ are having more babies thus bringing the average IQ of the world down. This of course assumes that IQ is somewhat hereditary.

#7
Sumanth
January 26, 2009
12:16 PM

If this article was authored by a man, had commentators reacted the same way?

---
The SIFF leadership is much closer to reality and we have lesser fundamental differences with feminists than most other males.

We know very well, what women are capable of, psychologically, emotionally or strategically compared to men. I have not yet taken into account the other capabilities (like giving birth).

For us, men are conditioned (by society) to be over confident chauvinistic sleep walking fools, with no connection to emotions, the state of being or reality.

Men remain drowned with thoughts on actions with no access to inner state of being. That may be the reason, they have to learn to meditate to get the stuff, which women get so naturally.

Society conditions our thinking. Women are questioning it and evaluating the choices and options.

How often do men indulge in such a deep questioning and evaluate options or even think if they ever had any options?

Drugged Sleep walking fools live life of no options or choices.

Nature created and conditioned men and women differently. Does that mean, we can not do a rewiring in the brain with "free will"?

#8
Sumanth
January 26, 2009
12:45 PM

Rich Men => Female Orgasm.

The next "reductionist" survey will prove that not only rich, but also powerful men give four times more orgasms to women compared to weak low earning losers.

As only 1% men are rich or powerful, they have every reason to discriminate other 99% men to maintain the harem for themselves. May be these 1% owners of harems have funded radical feminists to sideline the other 99% men.

Now, it is not at all surprising that men need 10 years to get a divorce in courts in some countries.

This research creates a fault line in Men's world.

This research helps the argument that men as whole are not a homogeneous group and they must not be considered as one.

#9
kerty
January 26, 2009
01:55 PM

The focus should be on staying healthy and no so much on appearance. I know, our society, especially men, places so much premium on women's physical appearance. Even when we know that not all women are endowed with more than average physical beauty and even those who are physically attractive can't keep it up as age would always catch up with them in a matter of coupe of decades. In a physique stakes, the reigning batch of beauties always gets upstaged by successive batches of up and coming beauties. Men can graze on greener pastures till they trip on a grave while women have only few decades to stay their physical best to nail a guy and domesticate him.

As soon as women have domesticated men, many of them see their bodies(especially among Indian women) go thru sudden metamorphosis. Their, once slim and attractive, physique suddenly transform to become like bloated Ba and aging Aunty. Their bodies prepare for extended mommy field trip, storing all those extra rainy-day nutrients that can last the duration of entire biological clock. No matter how much they diet or exercise, their genes never relent. One can bend the nature only so much.

So most of them surrender to higher forces. They don't diet. Diet just happens. They do fasting and prayers - one whole day a week, one whole month a year(Shravan month). They eat after feeding the rest of the family so it often forces dieting and restricted menu. It controls what they eat and how much they eat. Fasting have elaborate rules what they can eat and can't. They can't make up their own rules or leave it up to their whims or mood. They surrender to rules set by traditions. The end result - most of them still look like bloated Ba. But their prayers, fasting and devotion to their family do not entirely go wasted. It keeps their heart and mind and soul fit and happy.

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