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SATIRE
Partial Solar Eclipse Today - Do Nothing
August 01, 2008
Deepti Lamba
Deepti Lamba
Listen up people! If you are pregnant, if you want to go to the awesome sale at Lifestyle, if you want to cut your hair, your nails, or any part of your body for whatever perverse reasons - Don't!! And while you are at if you are about to take up any new venture - Don't - be it meeting a prospective mate or even getting lucky for the first time.
Hold your horses, your ovaries, your sperms, your purse strings - just hold on. If you happen to be a devout believer, it would be for the best if you stayed at home altogether and did nothing.
No karma is to be implemented. Lead a zombie existence. No food to be touched, hair not to be washed, nothing!! There is bad luck and pollution in the air since there is going to be a partial eclipse!!
A partial solar eclipse will be seen in India on Friday while the north-eastern parts of the country will see quite a large fraction of the disc of the Sun, eclipsed by the Moon.In case any of the above activities are performed or there is the moronic viewing of the eclipse people should report to the nearest 'shudhi' center for isolation and decontamination.
"The partial eclipse will be seen in the north-eastern region, starting from about 4 PM," Director Nehru Planetarium, Rathnasree, said.
The biggest and the last phase of the eclipse will be visible from most parts of the country, except Nagaland and Mizoram, where the eclipse ends after sunset, she said.
The maximum obscuration of the sun will occur at Sibsagar in Assam.
A total eclipse will be visible in Canada extending across northern Greenland, the Arctic, central Russia, Mongolia and China.
Deepti Lamba is an author, besides editing at Desicritics
Keep reading for comments on this article and add some feedback of your own!
smallsquirrel
August 1, 2008
09:06 AM
I think I just peed myself laughing.
reminded me of having to lie to my mother-in-law when I was pregnant and there was an eclipse and I had to go to work. you really cannot tell a MNC "hey, yeah sorry, I know I have not told you, but I am pregnant and my MIL is supertitious, and well, I cannot come outside today. Right. You heard me. No outside. I think I might be too close to the window even. Yup. Serioulsy."
She called me twice and I did not pick up. I told my husband to tell her I was too nervous to take calls. LOL. :)
Deepti Lamba
URL
August 1, 2008
09:19 AM
Ahem and despite the incident the cherub turned out perfect? Thats remarkable Did you visit the shudhi center? No? Hmmmmmmmm.....
(heh)
Ruvy
August 1, 2008
12:04 PM
Perhaps as a follow up to this, you could write on the politics of a partial solar eclipse....
Deepti Lamba
URL
August 1, 2008
12:15 PM
Lol! nice idea Ruvy;)
Aaman
URL
August 1, 2008
12:41 PM
We had too many clouds to see the eclipse:)
Aaman
URL
August 1, 2008
12:42 PM
I must say, though, these superstitions are rampant even in very educated people.
Chaitanya S
August 1, 2008
12:51 PM
Hi Dipti, In Mumbai I heard ladies discussing this topic. They claimed that if a pregnant lady ventured out during a solar eclipse, the baby would be born with some deformity.
I feel most people arn't superstitious these days. They just want to avoid some things based on the "what if" fear factor.
Deepti Lamba
URL
August 1, 2008
12:57 PM
Chaitanya, just point them to the shudhi center;)
Aaman
August 1, 2008
01:05 PM
Chaitanya, that is superstition = fear of the unknown.
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