Marriage, New Age Style

KC:

false expectations

and

utter unpreparedness!

the only point which is debatable is how to apportion this between the parents and the newly-weds

KC:

1) Indian society needs to get rid of Arranging marriages.

2) Indian society needs to respect personal space i.e. keeping out of children's way (even for marriage)

3) It has to ingrain in its brain, the concept of NOT respecting ones parents if parents are WRONG.

Kalyani,

You sound like a conservative as you talk about past generation etc etc.

Media claims that divorce rate in India is slightly below 1%. But, in reality, it is as much as 6% for the younger generation is "practically divorced" (living separated and fighting long court battles).

See, there are International Organisations who are assigned the duty to increase divorce rate in India. They fund NGOs and Media to promote divorce with the slogan,"Family is against women". Noted Women's activist Indira Jaisingh says, "Indian Family is Against Women".

So, these women in your story should have stayed single in stead of getting married; after all Indian family system totured women for ages and now the torture is increasing as claimed by the mercenaries paid by agencies in West.

Here is an article in DNA, which faithfully publishes the story of girl's parents that their son-in-law, an Infosys Employee has an incestuous relationship with his mother. The son-in-law and his family, including wife had a serious car accident in US.

Has the newspaper got the proof that the Infosis employee slept with his mother?

Now, I appreciate some thugs who sometimes mercilessly beat up the Journalists.

http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1134237

-----
There is propagation of Gender hate in Indian society just like communal hatred. That alongwith misinformation, consumerism and intolernace is leading to all the marriage breakups.
-----

The conservatives are still sleeping without realising that its is their children and grand children who are going to pay a heavy price unless they stop the mercenaries spreading rumours and false stories in Indian society.
----------

Today, accidents are also converted into dowry torture cases. You can advise the girls in your story to also do the same to take revenge on their husbands, in-law, friends and even neighbours.
--------------

The day is not far, when Indian women will be converted into "commodities" when men will say to them, "I will give you 2 lacs, sleep with me for 6 months" and many women will agree given their obsession to shopping and consumerism.

Lakshmikanth,

An Indian is a sinner, if he/she does not respect his parents and in-laws.

Men have extra duties. They have to look after their parents, otherwise they will be behind
bars on a mere complaint by their parents.

As we all do not want gender bias, a man must treat his parents and his wife's parents in equal terms.

That means, he must listen to his mom, dad and he must also listen to mom-in-law and FIL. He must arrange money for extravagant marriage of his sister and due to "gender equality", he must also arrange money for extravagant wedding of his wife's sister.

I counselled Manmohan, SW engineer at Bangalore and he got all the abuse recorded.

His wife did what she has to because he was not ready to buy perfume costing Rs.5000 (listen a sample recording) among other demands.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jaRG2dZ5Kk&feature=related

Kalyani,

You asked:
What do we or they need to do?

Answer:
1) It is too late to anything.

2) The traditional structures are broken beyond repair and the morons, who are breaking them have not created any new structures.

3) One thing can be done is to call for a national debate and ask serious questions about whether we really want institution of marriage or not.

4) If marriage as a institution has to remain, then the new role of both "women and Men" have to be redefined.

The roles of husband, wife, and parents all have to be redefined.

5) No one got 30 hours in a day and life is not all about doing a 60 hour job in corporate chasing lifestyle and then trying to balance family, kids, parents, in-laws, traffic and peer pressure.

6) Indian parents today have mostly one or two children. The parents must let go off their children after age of 18. Given a chance present day parents can dominate their children even when the children are in 30s or 40s.

I have also noticed that most parents have little interests in difficulties of their children face. They feel, if a child earns money and works long hours, he/she is happy. This needs to change.

7) Mercenaries are spreading the stories that with increase in divorce, the western society has become healthy and prosperous and they site examples of Scandinavian countries, Europe and US.

The only non-chaotic system in India was family. They know, in new socio-cyber war, it is important to cripple a society and culture to bring an economy to its knees.

These mercenaries need to be stopped.

8) Many spread gender hate in schools. Many go to girl's schools and start telling brutal stories about bride burning or domestic violence (of course with false data and misinformation). That inherently, disturbs the minds of most young girls and some of them start hating masculinity.

These girls only see the negative side of men in society and become blind to the positive contributions men make to society or family.

This gender hate has to stop.

One mercenary:

http://www.indianexpress.com/story/232409._.html

Family against woman
Indira Jaising
Posted online: Friday, October 26, 2007 at 0000 hrs
She says:
........
There have been major protests around DV law. Organisations to 'Save the Indian Family' have been formed; women who campaign for the law are being told that they are 'frustrated' and are 'home breakers'. It is obvious that respect for human rights of women in domestic relationships -- the premise on which the law is based -- is not something intrinsic to the 'Indian Family'.....
---------------------------

sumanth

talking with yourself again

;)

sumanth, do you ever get bored or does your frothing fuel you in your darkest and most lonely hours when you have nothing to hold but the cold hand of regret?

Smallsquirrel,

Do you or your sister ever get bored thinking about abused women or rape shelters?

I am an Indian man and I have a big family.

Yesterday, I met a man in a social gathering who got jailed in false case for 1 month and his mother committed suicide when he was in jail.

So, morons like me will never rest as lives of innocent men, women, children and elders are at stake. And we work for free unlike the mercenaries funded from foreign countries to destabilise Indian society.

"Indian family is against women." The vested interests are poisoning the society. They have hijacked UN, UNICEF, UNFPA and are forcing dangerous experiements in the name of modernising nations. But, they do not know what Asians are and the strengths of Asians.

Cecelio Adorna of UNICEF, India got scot free when he was accused of raping a woman. NCW or Feminists like Indira Jaisingh did not utter a word. Why? Because, UNICEF, UN, USAID fund themse mercenaries. And who is funding UN, UNICEF and USAID?

It is important to notice the money trail when on looks at global terror on families.

Senator Joe Biden has tabled i-VAWA in US to fund feminists in developing countries.

World War II was fought by militarily weapons.
Cold was was fought in by economic weapons.

Next war will be fought by social weapons.
Nations will not attack militarily or economically to another, but they will try to screw other's society.

Today, sociological war on a society is a low cost, low intensity war. Only one has to fund NGOs, Media and some influential people to defame a nation/culture or society.

Do you think, I will get bored when a sociological war is unleashed by foreign funded terrorists? We will identify each terrorist and do everything legal to expose them and their nefarious activities.

T,

I vanished for sometime because I conducted media campaigns in Bangalore for International Men's day on 19th November.

Here is a link, which gives some details of the forces working to destroy institution of marriage and harmonious families in India.

http://mensnewsdaily.com/2007/11/30/mens-marriage-movement-strong-in-india/

David R. Usher
Men's Marriage Movement Strong in India
November 30, 2007 at 8:58 pm · Filed under Culture, Domestic Violence, Family, Fatherhood,

Men and Marriage are very much alive in India. India has become a raucous battleground between radical feminists and marriage advocates in a very short time span. The Save Indian Family Foundation has approximately 8,000 members, which could make it the largest men's and marriage organization in the world.

In my analysis, the explosive emergence of the Men's Marriage Movement in India came about because of two major factors. First, feminists moved in on India like Ghengis Khan. They went overboard, extorted their way into politics, and passed some of the most radical, acid, feminist legislation enacted on earth.

Secondly, the sea-change from marriage to radical feminism occurred very quickly. Most adult Indian men and women alive today were raised in intact families, and marriage is a major piece of their cultural upbringing. They instinctively know that radical feminism is very dangerous and are not going to sit around meekly.

In contrast, feminism assimilated Western cultures much more slowly, and over a period of two generations. Most adults today were raised either in broken families, or according to feminist scripts where men are impressed from birth to not question feminism, to welcome the sexual freedom it bribes them with, and to sit around like toadstools when the pink reaper comes around to collect her due. It has always been difficult to extend the men's movement beyond the mortally wounded, because men simply have eyes and ears closed to the possibility that radical feminism is ruining the futures of the majority of men and women, who will never know a good marriage or benefit from all the social and economic benefits it provides.

............

Sumanthy,
You had vanished....pulzzzeee..your media campaigns and so called dramas were the biggest flop no-show of the century. First go figure the donation dynamics of your group and have some accountability. Get some credibility for yourself amongst your clan.

Chandra and T,

You are dead right....most of these battles die their own natural death. After their most unsuccessful stint a couple of months back here on DC, the bashing, the firing, all the mice took to their holes-- some resting needed.

First you guys were against UN, UNICEF and NCW and

NOW you are against UNFPA and USAID also? What have they done now?

and how can you forget

UNFMA and WESAID

sumanth, dear... you don't have anything except your anger and a bunch of men who lost their wives cause they beat them.

save it. nobody here is buying what you're selling.

but if you want to stay and further discredit yourself, have a go.

smallsquirrel dear....you and your male hating feminist buddies do not have anything except anger and a bunch of women who are single due to their hatred and abuse of husbands or boyfriends.

We were discredited the day we arrived in the blogosphere scene in 2005. So, whatever we do is a plus for us. Indian men are pushed too far and there is no more harm that can be done to them.

DD M*r*n,

Have you ever asked about misuse of funds by feminist antinationals or the brothels they run in the shelters?

UNICEF collects money for children and uses it for propagating hate. Have you asked about it?
If not, then why are you asking my organisation which is non-funded and non-profit org.

-------

It is the fucking mentally challenged libertarian bloggers, who also propagate lies and dig their own graves. Then, they come running to SIFF, when they or their relatives get royally screwed.

Its a pity, we swear by "Satyameva Jayate".
Let me see how long the evil forces continue with their lies.

It is the members of DC who are sending their own victimised relatives to SIFF.

This article is about marriage and the marriages are breaking because of terrorist activities by anti-social elements, who have hijacked many institutions including UN. Otherwise, why a female who got Padmashree claim that, "Indian family is against women."

It has been pointed time and again that no one is listening to us. But, media coverage of SIFF has increased 10 folds in last 6 months. So, who gives a damn about whether you discredit me or not?

The divorce rate will approach 40% in urban India like Europe. Alongwith that many husbands will lose promotions to much younger and incompetent women due to diversity propagated in corporates.

Then it will be housewives vs corporate women as husband's career goes for a toss due to feminism, the housewives will get a hit.

Then we will also watch about you guys and all the fun.

We screwed the govt so much that they have kept harassment at workplace law on hold.
--------------

Smallsquirrel, I desparately wish to discredit myself everywhere if it saves people's lives.

I am happily married. as are all my friends. sorry, but no one here hates men. you are the frothing, seething ridiculousness one.

no one is buying it but we're all laughing at ya~!...

Sumanth, marriages are feeling the strains of globalization and not feminism. Women were far more radical in their approach back in our mothers days when the fight was new and passions were high.

Why would mens' career take a hit? It isn't feminism that is causing the burn out its the globalized economy where the corporate culture has become so cut throat and strenuous that people suffer burn out by the time they hit their mid- thirties.

Those of us who get the opportunity of stay at home and rear our children are the few luck ones whereas most women work because life has become very expensive and they need the double income to sustain a certain lifestyle.

The lives of these parents is very hard and it takes a lot for them to bring normalcy to their household despite being tired at the end of the day.

Home makers realize how hard it is for career women. The skirmish that you are talking about is media generated, most of us are just trying to live normal happy lives whether married or single.

comment #2: NOT respecting ones parents if parents are WRONG.

Laksmikanth, wah bai wah, pls award urselves one Nobel prize. Would u also kill them after NOT respecting... just curious.

DCritic, telling one's parents that their approach to a certain issue may be wrong has nothing to do with love and respect.

Deepti,

The 30% quota for diversity (read women) at different levels and positions is implemented in several MNC companies in Bangalore.

There are respectable organisations, which are specifically advertising asking "women only".

As started year end apprisals for my team, the first question some of them asked is, is there a quota for women?

Of course, there was none, but there were certain guidelines given.
-----------

As far as I see, IT sector, it is not the lifestyle costs alone, but a certain obsession which drives the women, who feel they have to prove something out there.

Lifestyle is a choice. Lifestyle does not buy anyone peace or happiness. I do not understand how women can work for 60 hours a week (at office or even from home) and yet think of having children.

No person(male or female) should work more than 8 to 9 hours in a day and that includes childcare, cooking, cleaning and a job.

So, the working husband and working wives have to make a choice. One of them works, if they want to have children. Either the man or the woman have to leave the fulltime job. The other way is not to have children.

smallsquirrel,

I agree that you are happily married. But, for how long? Having a good marriage for 3 years, 5 years or 10 years is no guarrentee for a lifelong harmony.

You know, I was also happily married for many years.

Why does your sister run a rape shelter in US?
Is it for money/funds or is there some other reason?

In DC, I have read some authors calling men as beasts and some calling for castration of men. You are claiming that there is nobody here who hates men.

Another set of lies from a feminist.

sumanth:

is there a "guarantee" for anything in life? ---save the tunnel-visioned hatred of some?

Oh, no our plan of world domination and castration of all men (except for some we hope to retain for breeding purposes) has been found out. Damn! Damn!

J:

do you realise some von siffers with poor comprehension would be quoting this on placards when your next book comes out

;)

sumanth... there are too many differences between you and me to list here in a decade, sweets. your lies and bullshit don't scare me or rock my way of life. my husband thinks you are amusing though.

I am an only child, so... although I do have a close friend who runs a domestic violence shelter and I was a rape crisis counselor. she runs it because women who have had problems need somewhere to go.

anyway dear, you are far too dense for me to waste time on. have a nice life!

Listen Buddy Sumanthy

It is not M*r*n but MORON. Say the word for what it is, have the guts and/or are you still recovering from the nightmarish consequences of using that word on your wife...ooof those days in jail.

And you org is not non-profit and non-funded....what BS lies. Let me produce some emails.

The amount of vituperation Sumanth generates somehow shows there is a lot of truth in what he says.A lot of mothers and sisters are worried about the consequences of these laws.POTA was misused grossly in settling political scores.This law has and will be misused.Precautions against its misuse have to be taken.One senses a refusal to sanely debate these laws by vested interests which treats all women as vote banks.

why hide behind mothers and sisters. Sumthy says that men have to stop being providers, protectors and caretakers. Don't you know his anthem.

Hello This is an interesting story that appeared in Deccan Chronicle published from Hyderabad, this news appeared on December 21.

They met and they married
http://deccan.com/home/homedetails.asp#They%20met%20and%20they%20married

Lucknow, Dec. 21: They fell in love in eight hours, overcame hurdles in two hours and got married within the next six hours. This superfast love story unfolded in Vrindavan, in Uttar Pradesh's Mathura district, last week when a well-to-do Bengali couple from Delhi came to the holy town with their 20-year-old daughter.

The family hired a rickshaw and spent the day visiting various temples. The rickshaw-puller, called Pappan, served as their informal tourist guide and kept relating anecdotes related to various temples to the family during the journey. The family took a break for lunch and persuaded Pappan to join in.

At sunset, when the family decided to call it a day, the daughter curtly informed her parents that she had fallen in love with Pappan and wanted to marry him immediately. The bewildered parents tried to convince their daughter of the difference in their social, cultural and religious backgrounds and said that she would never be happy with a rickshaw-puller. The daughter, however, refused to budge from her stand and after two hours, when the parents failed to convince their daughter, they informed their sons in Delhi who reached Vrindavan.

Pappan, who was overjoyed at this unexpected proposal, said he wanted a nikaah since he was a Muslim. The girl agreed, a maulvi was summoned and, within hours, the wedding was solemnised in the presence of the girl's family and the groom's friends.
As a wedding gift, the girl's parents presented a brand new rickshaw to their son-in-law.

The new bride, who requested anonymity, told this correspondent on Friday, "I am thrilled to be married to the man of my choice. It does not matter to me that he is a rickshaw-puller and belongs to a lower income group. We are very happy together but I do not wish to disclose my identity right now in the media because some miscreants may try to create trouble for us. We are living very discreetly at a friend's place and we will come out in the open after a few weeks." Pappan, on the other hand, said his marriage was a "blessing of Allah" because he had never even dreamt that he would get such an educated and well-to-do wife.

Khojideshi

Incredible story and ground-breaking achievement. There is something about Bengal. Bengali women always have dominated bollywood scene and can make any hero proud. Majority of Widows of Water fame come from Bengal. And so does majority of prostitutes and bar-girls in Mumbai. Majority of pseudo secular journalists also come from Bengal. And of course, who can forget the most precious gift to our continent - filled to the brim and overflowing Bengladesh. At this rate, Bengal is going to run out of Bengalis who can populate Benaras with widows.

Hello kerti, I posted this story not for the reasons you think, I thought this to be funny.
I don't know what sort of parents are these, they agreed for the marriage and called their sons to attend the marriage and they came happily, funny enough. And these happened within 8 hours that is even big joke. They accepted everything what the autowala said, one thing really this is the luckiest man I think.

Sumanth, you are biased, [EDITED].

PROVOKED:
Man murders educated wife, who filed dowry harassment on his parents.

The biased laws used for abuse of elders and the economic blackmail of men by judicials system is creating new breed of criminals now.

An educated working woman in high position gets husband's house and also maintenance after getting his parents into a dowry case.

It is clear that a small percentage of men are starting to take law into their hands and trying to get even in an eye for eye fashion.

Blackmailing and forcing men into abusive situations can have its terrible consequences on women. It is dangerous for women, if abused men think that they have nothing left to lose.

Many courts in India do not give bails to men in dowry cases unless they agree to reconcile and stay with the woman. How appropriate is it on part of courts to keep two warring people together forcibly?

http://www.ibnlive.com/news/govt-officer-found-dead-in-gurgaon/54773-3-1.html

New Delhi: A man killed his wife, stuffed her body into a suitcase and dumped it in Gurgaon on Saturday. The victim had earlier registered a case of dowry harassment against her in-laws.

His wife Archana was a deputy director with the Federation of Indian Export Organisation.
.......
But the couple reconciled three months back - after a judge said that the couple's flat in Gurgaon would have to be given to Archana and Rohit would have to pay maintenance as well.
.............

Now, the guy will face trial for 2 to 4 years just like a dowry case and he may spend another 3 to 4 years in jail after that.

But, now a days, people who go to jail have become celebrities.

Anjali,
Yes. I am a biased [EDITED].

I will remain so, till Feminists like many of you do not stop becoming biased and the sex starved attention seeking males stop treachery towards other males just for imaginary chances of increase in availability of sex.

Sick psychotic Feminists are spreading panic in the society with lies on attrocities on women, so that parents will fear having a girl born in the house. That in turn, will result in increase in funds to feminist organisations.

Temporal,

"Tunnel Visioned" creatures require "Tunnel Visioned" treatment.

Hatred just gets reflected in mirror. Hate filled creatures boil in hatred, when we show them the mirror. Some of our members even take feminist articles and change the gender of the words and publish it back.

We are so much similar to feminists. Certainly, we love them. It is feminist activity, which helps growth of our organisation. They can stop our supplies if they want to. Today, we have saveindianfamily helplines in almost all states in India.

The false stories of dowry deaths are repeated millions of times across globe. We have to also use the same repeatative methods to show the world what feminists are.

Gender Equality:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yphCjanTWs

sumanth #34:

delusional rant!

this reconfirms von-siffers suffer from some serious psychiatric issues

;)

http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1140979

Two-thirds of the Sevn Thousands Divorce cases this year were filed by young couples in Mumbai City alone.

Sumanth: I'm not a feminist, nor a member of any feminist or similar organization. I don't hate men. And this post is not about dowry deaths.

Parents have always feared girls being born, perhaps you have not read about the gender ratios and infanticide.

It might be a good idea to actually check out how things stand before ranting.

[do not use caps]

What I Want In A Man, Original List ... (at age 22)

-----------------------------------
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 32)
-----------------------------------
1. Nice Looking - preferably with hair on his head
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at restaurant
4. Listens more than he talks
5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
6. Can carry in all the groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
9. Remembers Birthdays and Anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 42)
----------------------------------
1. Not too ugly - bald head OK
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner at McDonalds on occasion
4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Usually wears shirt that covers stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
10. Shaves on most weekends

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 52)

----------------------------------
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed to appropriate length
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep while I'm emoting
5. Doesn't re-tell same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on Weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV Dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves on some weekends

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 62)
----------------------------------
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when awake (LOUDLY when asleep)
5. Doesn't forgets why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers when...

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 72)
----------------------------------
1. Breathing

Kalyani, I attended one of those weddings you refer to 2 weeks ago. I see the socialogical angle you are essaying to describe. Higher education for girls is wonderful but I find that be it girls or boys, we have more literate people in the world today than educated ones.

Basic human values like patience, courtesy, cordiality, friendliness, generosity etc. have become defunct in a consumeristic search for perfect materiality. Forget matrimony that demands all that and more.

Youngsters today get paid lots of money and Indian kids have no debt as their education has been paid for by their parents. So, they dont know what to spend their money on except for more jewellery, automobiles, clothes etc. Many of their places of work offer great incentives to take a loan, so they are far better off financially than their parents ever dreamed of.

And the onus is on the parents who have not brought their children up with proper values. Rather than teaching the children importance of values and the dangers of materiality, the parents in the past 2 decades have been busy preening and proud of their children's achievements (academic mostly, in the context you are speaking of).

When my son comes home and shows off that he did well and got an A, I tell him to go thank God as it takes one small blood clot to change all that intelligence to mush and then we celebrate- it is very important for parents to keep the balance of love and discipline.

Sumanth

It looks like your point of view is a counter response to feminism - the essential premise of both point of view is gender war - male and female at war with each other. Thus, such ideologies seek to make marriage and family to be war zone - atomize them and pit them against each other to create self-fulfilling prophesy to empower gender war and ideologies that thrive on ravages of such war. That is why such wars have to be looked from larger context of cultural and ideological wars.

Materialism is process of disempowerment and centralization of power in one entity - it is a process of conquest thru divide and destroy so power can be transferred away from the subject being atomized. Here is the process of evolution. (I am tempted to use the metaphore of hydra-headed Ravana, but I am calling it materialism in order not to make it loaded for those who are allergic to hindu)

First spiritual theology is subjected to divide and destroy to give birth to materialism. The theological divide takes the shape of monotheism vs polytheism, theism vs atheism, single-god theology vs multi-god theology, God vs anti-God. At this stage, materialism is still disguised as theology.

Once atomization of theological sphere gets established, the notion of civilization is ready to be subjected to divide and destroy in order to give boost to materialism. Here the civilizational divide shape up on theological lines - Vedic civilization vs Islamic civilization, semitic civilization vs Pagan, Abrahmic civilization Vs non-abrahmic civilization. At this stage, materialism get a disguise of civilization.

Once divide of civilizational sphere is established on theological lines, the stage is set for subjecting the same on ideological lines. Religion Vs nation/state, religion vs secularism. Once can say, nation-state and secularism get empowered out of this divide and destroy phase. This is where materialism comes out of its civilizational shell and manifest in its true colors. One can say, materialism has become adult by now. It now has a vehicle to ride - nation-state and secularism.

Once nation-state and secularism take over spheres of civilization, various ideologies vie to hoist their flag over nation-state. Capitalism vs Socialism vs Communism. Left vs Right, Statism vs Nationalism vs Globalism. Secularism vs Culturalism. Conservatism vs liberalism. Democracy vs theocracy vs autocracy. Constitutionalism vs people power etc. They all vie to boost materialism and how progress and development is measured and they are judged how fairly that is produced and how fairly it is distributed.

Once ideological divide is firmly established, all the de-centralized institutions are subjected to divide and destroy. Notion of community is first in line. The divide takes the shape of caste(tribe) vs monolith, caste vs caste-less, upper-caste vs lower-caste, caste vs dalits etc. Materialism is now a liberator

Once caste divide has neutralized the notion of community, the next in line of fire is notion of family. Caste vs clan, joint-family vs nuclear family, in-laws vs Bahu, Bother vs Brother, sons vs parents, love marriage vs arranged marriage, rural vs urban etc. New urbane, educated, elite, nuclearized, modern realities take over the old and now outdated ones. Materialism now poses as a modernizer.

Once family is nuclerised, the stage is set for total atomization of family institution. This is where feminism, individualism and constitutionalism steps in to get the job done. Male vs female, patriarchy vs feminism, individual rights vs group rights, individualism vs collectivism, married vs single vs divorced, Sita as ideal of womanhood vs Surphankha as ideal of feminism. Since foundation of family is marriage and motherhood - they both are subjected to anarchy - pretty soon, there remains no definitive consensus or definition of marriage or motherhood or family. This is the domain of feminist activism. Does atomization of family empower man or woman or marriage or family or children or elderly - for a while, it may appear that it is empowering one or another on situational basis. But in the end, they all stand neutralized by each other and get disempowered. This is the triumph of materialism - the conquest of family and all its foundations. Once can equate it to abduction of sita by Ravana.

Once individual stands alone, totally atomised, not allowed to create or be part of any support mechanism ie family, community, group allegience or religion that can threaten the hegemony of materialism, individual stands neutralized and defeated - a powerless entity that can threaten nothing except enjoy hedonistic materialism that help keep it amused and engaged - a state of Raskhasha. Thus, individual, family, community, nationalism, civilization, spiritual theology stand disempowered and defeated - the individual-nation/state-globalism-materialism become mechanism of power transfer to unipolar center of power - to create omnipresent, omnipotent 'Ravana'. No man can defeat it, no fire can burn it, no death can kill it. It has many heads, and you may think you somehow managed to behead it, but another one is ready to take its place and it gets back to its invincibility.

Feminism did not cast the dice, dice has been cast long ago, feminism is only a small cog in an onward march of Ravan Raj. Hindus will need more than Rama Sethu to rescue Sita from this one.

[Post again - without caps- ed]

Anjali and others,

Why parents are afraid of having girls born in the house in an era where 50% of medical students and 25% of engineering students are girls?

The parents are in fear because of massive hype over vulnerability of women. Even though, less women in India (per million) get murdered, still we think our society is oppressive to women. (3150 murders in US compared to 7952 in India).

The false stories of dowry deaths and bride burning has contributed to the panic in the society and society discounts the positive rewards to parents who have a girl child. It is presented that, if parents have male child, it is less risky and if they have girl child, then she will get burnt to death.

The dangerous solution by "cry of wolf" has not created a bigger problem. Feminist bastards do not understand that societies are complex dynamical systems and hence straight forwards reactive methods can cause much more harm than the original problem. The bitches used all funds to stop dowry and in stead it went on spreading.

The methods used by feminists and libertarians are very questionable.

For example, the libertarians preach "hedonism" in India and they equate irresponsibility with choice. For them, any religious stuff is oppressive to women. The demand there should not be any morals. The teenagers and children know what is best for them.

The kind of crap that these foolism libertarians propagated in the country, has contributed to breaking of families.

Till now, they evaded saying that the marriages are breaking because the men are bastards in India. But, slowly the truth is emerging and it is getting established that both genders are contributing equally to the whole problem as the society seeks instant gratifications.

The family breaking and aggression in family due to selfishness and instant gratification will only increase year by year. Then it will hit the next generation in no time.

Then, it will be too late. Already, children have started shooting each other in schools and the teenage suicide is highest in south Indian cities. Lets get into the roller coaster and conduct all kinds of fucked of sociological experiements under guidance of foolish morons in West(Sweden or US) who have got too simple situations to handle.

The divorce rates will increase 20% to 30% year by year till it engulfs the whole society. Please note, morals do not guarantee a good marriage.

The Indian Family System is too complex unlike the Western system. If one or two things go wrong anywhere in the whole family, the whole structure implodes with vicious circles triggering one event after another.

Being founder and a counsellors in a big family oriented organisation, we sense this and we prevent the vicious circles from running when people come for counselling.

We bring the people back to the basics, "How much land a man needs?"

temporal -, Lakshmikanth, Sumanth, Smallsquirrel, DD, Deepti Lamba, Dcritic, Jawahara, updike98, Khojidesi, kerty, Anjali, Gope Lalwani, BUTT-IN,
that was a very lively discussion and thanks for your comments and interest.

blokesbogin - we do need to think a little more as parents where our children are heading with all they get - good you are so aware.

Sumanth, a couple of things you said have set me thinking.

Happy New Year everybody

Temporal wrote:

"sumanth

talking with yourself again

;)"

I haven't laughed so much in a long time! Great, sly humour!

kerty: the lists of opposites you have given is what we call "dwandwa" in Samskritam. They are the pairs of opposites that rule this physical world. The only way to resolve these opposites is by introspection and asking the question Who am I? Where am I in this universe and what is My truth to My existence?!