Sonia Gandhi Returning to Italy

We can now reveal that Sonia Gandhi has told her children she is tired of the heat and dust in India and doesn't care much for the cuisine either. The last straw that broke the camel's back was the recent imbroglio for offices-for-profit. She was not cut out for this kind of political disharmony in her waning years and would prefer to return to Orbassano and the solace of her villa.

A subpoena to the Government of Italy has provided us a map of her planned retirement home, near the town of Torino. We cannot indicate her precise address for security reasons, but it is close to the Centro Anziani, or the Old Folks Centre, which has the following activities planned this year for the older residents of Orbassano:

• 2 event-days, one recreational and one cultural
• A marine stay
• The festivity of Been born them or New Year's Day
• The festivity of 8 Carnival and March
• 2 seminary lectures on the topic of the health of the old ones and their solidarity.

The Centre organizes paper games and bocce periodically, the dancing game of the tombola once a week and evening activities, so she should have a lot to do.

She has asked for her first meal when she arrives home to be Gnoccho di ricotta di capra alla noce moscatta and Panna cotta alla noce moscatta con pere al vino rosso. The flavors of the home country are sadly lacking, she feels, in La Piazza and the Italian Crust.

She will not be forsaking her attachment to the Indian Political scene, citing her affection for the sycophants ardent fans and true believers. Preferring to be seen as a Dowager Empress ruling from afar instead of the dusty streets of New Delhi, she intends to subscribe to the Congress RSS feed and VOIP on GoogleTalk whenever the need arises. With Google's acquisition by China, she feels borders have no meaning anyway, and cannot wait for the olive trees and verdant gardenia.

All we can say is, arrivederci!