OPINION

Prayer Of The Livid

July 10, 2006
PerihelionFlux

he was mesmerized by her ass,
suddenly his reverie was shattered by its loud braying.

the bitch was in heat, i could tell
the homeless were all hunched around it, warming their hands.

her gaze was lifeless and cold
he hesitated for a moment,
wanting to do CPR on her;
but his first aid certificate had just expired the previous day.

he yelled 'Eject!' to his co-pilot
just as he spied a bigger kite with a glass covered string
tangle with their lifeline;
Alas! he couldn't free himself in time,
accepting the gravity of his situation
he fell to the ground with a thud,
and was lustily scooped up by grinning urchins
their cries ringing in his ears: kaate! kaate!

how lice! the shopkeeper blurted in excitement
as he saw the bedraggled man squash a lice
between his thumbnails.

the ball was in her court,
she picked it up and hid it behind her;
she feigned ignorance when the shy kid
asked her, digging all the while in the ground
with his big toe, looking down;
hoping to find it buried there.

the grass was greener on the other side,
all the cattle were grazing there.

he digged in his pocket with a shovel
and found a mudra from the reign of Ashoka;
he wondered how the dry cleaner had missed it all these years?

PerihelionFlux lives at the ass end of the earth, in Australia. He watches the moments of his life tip-toeing like silent thieves, always impatiently flipping the hourglass of the sand of time, grinning like goblins. He wishes to know the reason for their insolence but each one of them slips away.
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Prayer Of The Livid

Article

  • » Published on July 10, 2006
  • » Type: Opinion
  • » Filed under: .

Author: PerihelionFlux

 

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#1
temporal
URL
July 10, 2006
11:21 AM

first goooogle-free version:

he was mesmerized by her ass,
suddenly his reverie was shattered by its loud braying.

the bitch was in heat, i could tell
the homeless were all hunched around it, warming their hands.

her gaze was lifeless and cold
he hesitated for a moment,
wanting to do CPR on her;
but his first aid certificate had just expired the previous day.

he yelled 'Eject!' to his co-pilot
just as he spied a bigger kite with a glass covered string
tangle with their lifeline;
Alas! he couldn't free himself in time,
accepting the gravity of his situation
he fell to the ground with a thud,
and was lustily scooped up by grinning urchins
their cries ringing in his ears: kaate! kaate!

how lice! the shopkeeper blurted in excitement
as he saw the bedraggled man squash a lice
between his thumbnails.

the ball was in her court,
she picked it up and hid it behind her;
she feigned ignorance when the shy kid
asked her, digging all the while in the ground
with his big toe, looking down;
hoping to find it buried there.

the grass was greener on the other side,
all the cattle were grazing there.

he digged in his pocket with a shovel
and found a mudra from the reign of Ashoka;
he wondered how the dry cleaner had missed it all these years?

#2
temporal
URL
July 10, 2006
11:22 AM

next:

and again a first of sorts...welcome to desicritcs:)



#3
temporal
URL
July 10, 2006
02:10 PM

PF:

a delight to read:)

some every good lines and imagery...very mcguffinesque....but in the end they pearled

showed it to a friend who agreed...i commented one word grated on the ears....she asked 'which one?'... and i pointed out digged and she said she was going to mention that!...we agreed that given the over all usage and format perhaps you left it in intentionally...welcome once again and do contribute more

#4
PerihelionFlux
URL
July 10, 2006
06:53 PM

T: thanks for the encouragement & welcome as this was my first post.

digged...hmm...it went with shovel could have been dug;-)

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