Eve Teasing: A Three-Pronged Approach to Slaying the Monster
Kaveetaa Kaul
This morning the top most item on the agenda was to write on the topic as promised. Sheer force of habit led me to the papers. The following headline caught my eye "Eve teaser shoots at lawyer trying to save kin". This occurrence, that too today of all days. So ironic.
Apparently, the lawyer, Meher Bhargava, acted in retaliation to four hooligans who had passed lewd comments against her daughter-in law, Kavita. She objected to their behaviour. One of them took out a country-made revolver and shot her in the neck. She is presently battling for her life. Incidentally, the incident occurred right outside the house of the SSP. The police stationed there did not budge, despite being witness to the happenings.
While one cannot help but feel inwardly proud of Meher, the plight she finds herself in is shameful. The incident only triggers a host of questions and responses. There seem to be so many layers to the incident that are intertwined - the least not being that the assailants had a criminal record, alogside political connections.
The Jessical Lal case is a testimony to the triumph of the citizen. Manu Sharma has been unceremoniously ostracised in his own town of Chandigarh apart from the mess of a retrial that he is facing. Don't his kind give up?
To avoid deviating from the topic of the day, however, what needs to be noted is that the average woman today has decided to fight this attack on her space, tooth and nail. In this case, Meher, was protecting her daughter-in-law, which is such refreshing news, also the fact that she must therefore have been a middle aged person if not a senior citizen. But age was not a deterrent. Kudos to her for that.
The question is "Are we ever going to be rid of this menace?" Even if it may not get totally rooted out, in my opinion, there is hope that it may dwindle in occurrence in cities and metros. For this to become a reality, we women, the police and the common man have to play an interactive and complementary role.
It is indeed pitiable that we have to implore for public participation, when it should be the bounden duty of every citizen, regardless of gender, to aid a victim. I have personally been a witness to a young girl beng harassed, at a so-called elitist theatre. While myself and another woman protested, no male chose to involve himself. I leave it to your imaginaion to fathom how the harasser was shamed and browbeaten because of his ludicrous games. I doubt he will ever venture that sphere of activity again. On second thoughts, who knows?
It is not so much about how these men view us. It is more about how they view themselves. Lack of self-esteem is the basis of the problem. No self-respecting man would stoop to such behaviour. Apart from that it stems from decaying moral structure, lack of social training, emotional delinquency and illiteracy. Of course, here one is not referring to the proverbial male who has not got rid of his wolfish animalistic cloak, even after aeons of rebirths. Some just refuse to evolve.
Some self-righteous men often quote the dress code of "women today" as the sole cause. What rubbish!! It's not as if women in the days of our mothers were not molested. The topic itself was so taboo, that it was hushed up in embarassed silences. The idea that a woman who dresses provocatively invites rape or molestation is chauvunistic to the core, and can stem only from sick minds. Freedom, when it comes to women, becomes a matter of endorsement by males, therefore conditional. Can not a woman wear what she feels like wearing? For the same reason, the burkha is the classic example to my mind of male domination.
Recently we were told of a case where a woman was found running on the road at 2am, nude. Obviously there had to be a traumatic reason behind it. God knows what the circumstances were. Would a man take off his shirt to cover her, or his pant to rape her, thinking that she is asking for it? This is what society as a whole should answer, and men in particular.
The role of law enforcement agencies cannot be underestimated. "Spare the rod and spoil the child" is a maxim applicable in this context. The fear of police punishment has proven to be efficacious. It just needs to have more teeth and less red tapism. The process needs to be such that a victim can walk up to a police station or a cop with complete conviction that her plea will be addressed and redressed. As often happens now, the way the cross questioning is carried out further shames the victim into regretting that she decided to seek redressal.
Here I would like to aver that it would be unfair to categorise all males as suspect. There are a number of men I know who balk at the idea of harassment as much as we do and have been vocal about it in circumstances that required them to be. It seems arbitrary to consider harassing women a male compulsion. Suffice to say that it is a menace existing in our society which needs to be dealt with urgently and stringently.
A three pronged attack is therefore a viable solution, with women believing in the "shakti" they embody, the Police living up to their primary role of benfactors and the common man essaying the role of concerned and responsible citizen.
If all of this happens as envisaged, then the days of "adam teasing" are nearing. Soon netizen males will be thinking up means to stave off offending female advances. Just kidding.
Eve Teasing: A Three-Pronged Approach to Slaying the Monster
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deepti lamba
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March 7, 2006
09:04 AM
A well rounded and thought out post. Having been eve-teased more times than I care to remember the incidents made me bold and quite aggressive.
Once a guy friend of mine travelled with me and later remarked in jest that he saw the Hyde in me come out in the crowded bus.
The law needs to be stringent with these gun touting elements who prey on the citizens.
kaveetaa kaul
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March 7, 2006
11:11 AM
Thanks Deepti..
I dont blame you for the Dr. hyde bit. The woman today has decided to protect herself,even if it means bidding adieu to jekyll forever, or at best summoning it up only for the hubbies:)
temporal
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March 7, 2006
03:30 PM
kavetaa:
this behavior unfortunately cannot be entirely eradicated...
focus should be on curbing it
there was an occasion when someone pinched M in a mall....i had a mind to explain to the guy he was encroaching on my prerogative...not!
...i was furious when she told me some paces later...i wanted to go back and have that guy prosecuted or at the least thrown out of the mall...M adamantly dissuaded me from doing so...hum kya kartay?...i still feel had that guy been reported and thrown out he would have been less inclined to repeat that act!
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