Desicritics Category: Media: Music

Pappu Learns To Dance

RukmaniRam — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 02:27:04 EDT

So we have our Specimen A (read Pappu) who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth (which was later surgically removed, I suppose). Hits the gym everyday and builds his boddie to make full use of his blue eyed angrez looks. The man has it all- a fancy schmancy MBA, holidays in France, the fast cars, the expensive watches and designer perfume (the modern metrosexual man, eh?).. No wonder he's a craze among the lay-deej! Still has his papa's faith (mine lost faith in me sometime in high school), musically talented.. The man reigns where ever he goes. But poor Specimen A, in spite of all this, the dude is taunted, publicly, in a farewell party with real loud music. Teased by the very people he parties with, his popularity and star quality notwithstanding- simply because he cannot dance!

Now consider Specimen B - yours truly. Pappu probably is already at a dance studio, the finest his money can get! Not only can B not dance (and not afford the class either), B doesn't have any of the other things Pappu has. If the well endowed and talented Pappu's fate is this, mera kya hoga, Kaaliya??

Dream sequence: song and dance, with at least a hundred youngsters on the floor, and a DJ wearing psychedelic colors (well, Specimen B can't have real parties, the lease doesn't allow that, don't you know?)

Tirkit daana tirkit daana hee hee haa haa last chance
Tirkit daana tirkit daana hee hee haa haa last chance

Hai globular, hai jocular,
Hai globular, hai jocular, irregular and singular! (she's singular.. she's singular)
Iski to life ek daze hai
140 pounds she weighs hai
Her mundane life is rotten through
Milta nahi use praise hai... (use praise hai...)
Ise gaana nahi aata hai, but gaati "la la la"
Iske muh pe lagaao thaala! (hoye hoye hoye hoye)
Iske muh pe lagaao thaala! (hoye hoye hoye hoye)

Wenna may I see you when you prance and you fall
And a wenna may I see you when you prance….hey!

Tirkit daana tirkit daana hee hee haa haa fat chance
Tirkit daana tirkit daana hee hee haa haa fat chance

Paida yeh hui to tab bhi thi yeh chunky
Kisi se na hui dosti, aur nikli ek flunkie
Hey yeah yeah... iske paas na paisaaaaa
Hey yeah yeah... wants a guy Imraan ke jaisaa
Hey yeah yeah... yeh to bahut bekaar hai......
Hey yeah yeah.. paas na car hai, na yaar hai
And she never got romance waala! (hoye hoye hoye hoye)
And she never got romance waala! (hoye hoye hoye hoye)

End dream sequence

Sigh.

P.S. to the non-Hindi-understanding section of the readership: English translation to the dream sequence can be found here
P.P.S: the original score can be found here

How Wikipedia Conquered my Reality Soap/TV Addiction

Kim — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 00:08:29 EDT

I was typing a comment on Uma's post A Bad Habit Called A Reality Soap and realised I had written a comment long enough to be a post :)

I realised I was watching most of the reality shows I liked because I liked seeing who would get eliminated next.

I was lucky, because most of the reality shows I watch are the American ones which come to India a couple of months after they are released in the US. So after losing a couple of hours spent unproductively watching reality shows, I realised that just checking the Wikipedia entry for that season cured me of it.

Wikipedia lets me know who got eliminated and why and who won & thats it, no longer any compulsion to watch the show. Thats because my trigger to watch most of them was the suspense and surprise.

With my location change and different seasons playing in different countries on different channels, I was getting confused with sequence of events on serials like Lost, Prison Break, Desperate Housewives. Wikipediaalso helped me catch up on all the seasons of Lost with 3 hours of reading. Same for the other serials too.

Of course there are the shows like So you think you can dance? which I watch for the performances but I'm not too interested in the results show the next day because I know I will figure out next week who has been dropped anyway.

I used to be a huge fan of American Idol till Constantine, Latoya, Jennifer Hudson, Melinda, Daughtry consecutively kept getting out way before their time while lesser performers were still kept on. I just stopped watching each season when my favorites got out because I no longer felt it was worth watching. Proof of the flawed voting system is that only 2 of the winners of this show in its 6 seasons - Kelly Clarkson (Season 1)and Carrie Underwood (Season 4) - have received commercial success while many of the finalists who were dropped on the side have had a better success rate. Season 7 which is currently on does not have a single finalist who seemed interesting enough for me to follow the series and Simon is now more obtuse than brilliant, so I just watch it intermittently.

With Rockstar INXS and Supernova, I had slightly better luck. My favorites made it to the final 3 each season although they lost out to the person I least liked from the entire bunch both times. While I have reconsidered my opinion on J D Fortune, I still think Dilana was the best of the second bunch.

I used to love The Amazing Race till it started blurring the lines with Fear Factor. When competitors on The Amazing Race had to start eating weird stuff it grossed me out too much to follow it.

Each of my favorite reality shows/contests gave me its own reason to stop me from being addicted and obsessing about watching it on time every week. The downside is that I seem to have replaced it with an addiction to Wikipedia.

Music Review: Rejoice - The Sound of Urchin

Aaman Lamba — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:05:56 EDT

Sound of Urchin is a New York based band that has garnered much attention on the tour circuit, after the well-received Diamond (2005). The band members - Tomato (lead vocals, drums), Doo Doo Brown (bass), Rev. B-Ill (guitar) and Seahag (guitar) - have an enthusiastic approach to blending various musical styles, sounding sometimes like the Foo Fighters, other tracks set to a late 80s vibe, and an overall bonhomie that helps set the mood, particularly in live sets.

Their latest as-yet-unreleased album is Rejoice, quite appropriately touted as 'the Return of the Rock Album', which premiered at SXSW this year. The rhythms and vocals are well-produced, along with consistently good lyrics. It feels at times like a gospel-rock set, but there's more here than just that.

"Jesse Tenser" begins with an extended riff on the guitars, before launching into a rant on the impact of fame on the self (you'll remember everything you haven't done/was it that bad or sometimes fun?Did you ever think it would come to this) The stanzas are interspersed with some impassioned fretwork that enlivens the song. The vocals go up a few notches as the song progresses before culminating in a pensive note on how 'it takes you back to selfish acts/and just won't let you be'.

"Dig" keeps the tempo up, a strong thrash-metal beginning gives way to the driving urge that makes human achievement possible and keeps one going (I don't care as long as I can get it/Wheels are turning/I am burning/Can't you see it's a part of me). The thrashing riffs never let up, and the vocals are expertly mixed through the chords, although not quite able to overpower them.

"Shake The Magic Eight Ball" lets the magic roll, friends, feeling and all. The bass and rhythm guitar vie for attention, and Tomato's leads from the front.

"Go To Your Room" has a catchy rhythm and fun lyrics,("I'm hurt/I'm hurt/.../Go to your room/I've had it/And don't come out till 7/I'm tired/...You're rude and ugly and pretty disrepectful/You take up all my time/and suck up all my juice") I intend to play this for my kids the next time they rip the place up with their antics. I love the 'What did I do to deserve this?" riff. Best song on the album - "Black Helicopters Over Brooklyn" status? We'll see.

"The Last From Me" eases the pace somewhat. Its pretty vacuous, though, for all the nifty beats. The final third somewhat redeems the track, but not entirely.

The segue into "Oh My God" is redeeming (pun intended). This is the space the band occupies best. Frenetic strumming, drums, and strong vocals - "satisfaction is guaranteed" I'd love to try this song on Rock Band or Guitar Hero, but doubt I could pull it off.

"Rejoicing The Majesty", from the title sounds suspiciously like another Redeemer track. part of the Vatican Top 10. The lyrics don't change the impression (time to get closer to your sweetness/...Desire/.../reach for the unknown/) and the track covers the gamut of any self-respecting thrash-metal godhead song.

"Don't Walk Me Down That Road" is a rather more traditional rock gospel track, I find the imagery memorable ("and then I get that feeling/my heart has a ceiling/and I can't find the words to speak/.../I can't get my breath to breathe/") The lust for life is portrayed well (the forces of evil gently judge my soul/but I won't go/the floor keeps calling me to come on down/but I'm living my life like I never did before/and I want more/) and if you believe there's more to life than the heat and noise, this song will make you feel that other side all too close.

"I'm Not Surprised" retreats to familar territory. The extended refrains don't seem overlong, rescued as they are by guitar solos.

"Rite To Fire" stays strong, with something resembling an 80s vibe.

"The Rooster Says Good Morning" seems to keep at the same pace. It's another light track, saying much but not quite getting to its goal, going 'on and on/and up and down/and round and round'.

?Hag" is a great track, in the league of some of the best metal anthems around. Its instrumental, building the pace and giving room to all the instruments to blossom on the soundstage. The rhythm guitar enters late in the piece, and yet is the crowning achievement to this masterful number. (*****)

"A Better Place" gives one more chance to build and maintain the heavy pace, providing meaty support to the compelling lyrics. One of the longer songs on the album, it doesn't lose pace along the way.

"Disappointment Has Come Upon Me" seems to take a breath at the beginning, and then returns to strong guitar work with a somewhat cheesy 'la la la' refrain.

"All Reality Has Changed / Nosferatu" is a good book-ender, taking its time to settle into its pace, and deserving of a few listens. The second half (Nosferatu?) is a thrash-metal playfest, never easing up.

The final track "Living Well Lady" sounds like a concert outtake, and quite different from the rest of the album. The piece barely begins and ends, almost an afterthought.

Overall, a good effort, worth the listen, and will help cement the already strong cred of Sound of Urchin in their fanbase. Will it be a breakout album? Perhaps, it should resonate with rock fans, at the very least.

Hip-Hop and Tamilians

Ledzius — Thu, 6 Mar 2008 13:25:29 EST

The last decade and a half has seen an unprecedented amount of globalisation in India. Thanks to the economic liberalisation of the early 90s, advent of cable TV, and the Internet from the mid 90s, people in India have been force-fed Western culture, and the younger generation in metro areas pretty much seemed to have taken it in its stride.

With economic liberalisation came MNCs, which spawned a new set of cultural norms. Glamorous ads featuring very Caucasian-looking models (both male and female) leading an Italian lifestyle got idealised as what everyone should strive for. Wine-sipping and platinum jewelery became the standards by which one's standing in society would get judged. At least that's what it was going by the ads as well as the popular media.

It so happens that some north Indians hit the sweet spot here as far as looks are concerned. Heck, I don't know what is so great about Italian or Greek looks, but they sell all over the world. And many Indians (especially from the north and the north west) seemed to have cashed in on this phenomenon, since a few of them were lucky enough to come awfully close to this idealisation.

So you've got Saif Ali Khan and Arjun Rampal who could give any average looking Joe a complex. And I mean, not just in India, but anywhere in the world. They seemed to be surrounded by equally fair and sharp-featured pretty women. TV ads started featuring models who came close to this idealisation of this Italian/Greek features, and very soon the lifestyles they portrayed on screen seemed to keep up with this image. So in the ads as well as in Hindi movies, not just the younger generation, but also the parents as well as kids were shown leading Western lifestyles. Shooting in foreign locales became the norm.

In both Mumbai and Delhi, certain segments of the society could actually relate to all this cultural makeover. For Mumbai, home to Bollywood and wealthy industrialists, this doesn't come as a surprise. And similarly, New Delhi, home to Puppies and super-spoilt kids of bureaucrats and politicians, had always indulged in excesses of every kind. And both these metros have many men and women who do come close to the looks idolised by the media.

But other metros in India weren't that fortunate. As a Chennaiite, I could say that there was a feeling of resentment in Chennai as globalisation seemed to idolize the fair, sharp-featured north Indian look. But at the same time, they didn't want to be left out of the globalisation bandwagon. So they started looking out for alternative role models/cultural paradigms. I will limit the rest of the discussion to Tamil Nadu, but I feel this could be applied to other states also in various degrees.

If one takes the Tamil movie industry, till the mid 70's, it had idolized fair, sharp-featured men and women in the lead roles. Stars like MGR, Sivaji, and Gemini Ganesan (father of Rekha) fell into this category. With the advent of Dravidian politics in the 60's, many dark-skinned Tamilians felt it unfair (no pun intended) that their skin colour had to be a handicap. Especially after MGR left DMK and started his own party, many Dravidian sympathizers started looking for alternate icons.

Enter Rajnikanth. Though a Marati who grew up in Karnataka, his dark complexion and catchy mannerisms struck a chord with the Tamil populace. For the first time, he showed that a Tamil superstar didn't have to have the fairness of Raj Kapoor. (I am not sure whether Amitabh's darker than average complexion worked for or against him in the Hindi film industry.) This also led Tamilians to not feel ashamed of their dark skin anymore. In his footsteps followed even darker Tamil heroes like Vijayakanth and Parthiban in the 80s, with some degree of success. Simultaneously darker women too came to be accepted even in highly glamorous lead roles. Examples abound - Gowthami, Ranjani, Nadia, Rekha (different from her more popular namesake), Jayashree, and so on. Indeed, in many movies that came out during this period, the hero was fairer than the heroine.

Rap to the rescue

Fast forward to the mid 90's. The euphoria of the 80's was waning away because of the changes mentioned at the very beginning of this article. The media was mostly controlled by the north at that time, and there was a definitive tilt back towards the fair skinned north Indian look. And a Rajnikanth was no longer going to cut it, in terms of carrying the burden of Tamil self esteem on his shoulders.

At around this time, the world had been observant of a trend in the US. After the disco genre had faded, Michael Jackson had emerged as a pop icon almost overnight in the early 80's. Never mind the fact that he wanted to look white, he was seen as a black who was successful in breaking moulds. While he became popular on that account even in Japan, in Tamil Nadu, he earned a special place at the subconscious level of a number of youngsters in Chennai in the 80's. When the style of dancing known as "breakdance" became popular in the US among urban blacks, it was seen as some kind of cultural assertion of dark-skinned people within the US. It seemed that duplicating this social experiment in far-away TN was waiting to happen one way or the other.

And yes, it did happen. The man responsible for this was a dance choreographer called Prabhudeva. In the mid 90's, he introduced break-dance to TN in many movies. One of his greatest hits is named, not coincidentally, "Pettai Rap". True to the rap image in the US where a black man "conquering" fair-skinned women became a much-repeated theme, Tamil movies started looking north for its heroines. It is no surprise that Aishwarya Rai's film career debuted with a Tamil movie. Others like Sushmita Sen, Shilpa Shetty, and Lara Datta too joined the fray. Because of this, the darker skinned Tamil actresses had to find other jobs. Tamil movies have yet to see the recovery of dark skinned actresses to the levels they were in the 80's.

When the gangsta rap of the early to mid 90's matured to something more mainstream like hip-hop towards the new millenium, it likewise gained greater social acceptance in TN. At around this time, Tamil pop culture (including movies) found its own niche and diffentiated itself from the Italian-based north Indian version of globalisation. Tamil TV programs didn't even attempt to keep up with the changes that happened in the north. However Tamil music video channels like SS seemed to be more sympathetic towards hip-hop on the global scene compared to other genres. Hip-hop seemed to provide a kind of safety net against the resentment brought on by the fair-skin oriented culture of north India. At least for the men.

This influence of Western hip hop on contemporary Tamil culture is a double-edged sword, in my opinion. On the positive side, it had certainly boosted the self esteem of many Tamilians, especially men. This, coupled with the fact that the state of TN has become an economic powerhouse in India has made Tamilians more assertive in all walks of life.

But, I am afraid, there is also a negative side to this. Tamil culture had historically been highly chivalristic compared to the north. The southern states had always treated its women better. And Tamilians had always tried to maintain certain standards of decency in manners of speech. Unlike Hindi and some other north Indian languages, there are no terms equivalent to motherf***** or sisterf***** in Tamil. Using such language even against your worst enemy is taboo in Tamil ethos. And while TN has had its share of caste wars, it has never seen the kind of humiliation rapes against lower caste women that are common in some northern states. To a Tamilian, this is unthinkable.

So what happens when you try to meld this with a culture which treats women as objects and uses the aforementioned swear words in its lyrics unabashedly? I don't know the answer to this.

In Chennai, I have seen this kind of hip hop music being played in many upscale coffee shops. The kids who work in these joints seem to have come out of rural TN which had always been the forebearer of Tamil culture and values. So how would these highly impressionable kids adapt to this culture shock?

Would the Tamilian society see an increase in violence against women? Would north Indian women be targeted more? We will have to wait to see the results of this social experiment which seems to be happening in the metros of TN as of today.

Music Review: U Me Aur Hum

Amrita Rajan — Tue, 4 Mar 2008 04:53:08 EST

If you'd asked me to guess, I wouldn't have picked U Me Aur Hum for Ajay Devgan's directorial venture. The odd Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam apart, Devgan's real success lies in movies where he's been able to portray angst ridden characters with something to prove. With U Me Aur Hum, he's either hoping for a safe bet at the box office or wants to try his hand at something different (for him). Written by Robin Bhatt, Sutanu Gupta and Devgan himself, according to the syrupy synopsis it is:

A love story, that begins at sea. Ajay is on a cruise with his friends Nikhil and Reena, unhappily married, and Vicky and Natasha, happily unmarried. Ajay is having a wonderful time dealing with martial strife, lots of bad language and huge hangovers, when he finds Pia, and time stands still.

So they battle all odds, and dance, and sometimes they fall. But every time they fall, they fall in love. And that's what a successful marriage requires. Falling in love many times, always with the same person.

This is the special love story of Ajay and Pia. There may be no monuments dedicated to them and perhaps their names will soon be forgotten. But in one respect they succeed as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: They've loved each other with all their heart and soul; and in life and marriage, this has always been enough.

Hmm. Personally, with a set up like that, the only thing that makes me in the slightest bit interested in this movie is the fact that it stars Kajol and has music by Vishal Bhardwaj. And while Kajol has let me down from time to time (hey there, Raju Chacha), Bhardwaj has always been awesome. Will the U Me Aur Hum album, with lyrics by Munna Dhiman, be his Waterloo? Let's see:

Jee Le - This is why I love Vishal Bhardwaj: even when he churns out a ho hum song, he does it with more class than just about anybody else. If you’re a fan of Latin rhythms (and it’s hard not to be) then this is a very pleasant song. The obligatory amore, baila and te quiero stuff manages not to grate the way others of this ilk so often do. Of course, I don’t speak Spanish so maybe people who actually understand the lyrics might disagree. I can only hope they're better than the Hindi ones penned, which are strictly pedestrian. Shreya Ghoshal and Adnan Sami croon their way affably through it and it all pretty much sounds like a cruise ship band putting on a good performance. I don’t know if that’s what Bhardwaj and Co. were going for, but that’s what it is.

U Me Aur Hum (Part I) - Remember how Shreya Ghoshal was so absolutely lovely and perfect in Jism? Now imagine her being almost lovely and perfect. That’s what this song is. Again, it’s not godawful or hurting my teeth but five minutes from now I wouldn’t remember a thing about it. Actually, no, I lie - I’d remember that little hip-hop-in-the-land-of-boyband riff (”Love gives you the power / to open up and flower / covering every hour with its refrain”) that comes up now and again. The male singer is uncredited and he ought to thank his stars for small mercies. Dhiman wades in rather late to try and save the day by injecting a little meaning into the song, but it's no go.

Saiyaan - You lost me at first line: “But I asked for a lover who’d be like a girlfriend,” Sunidhi Chauhan complains. So Kajol’s a lesbian then? The rest of the song is about how she finds her hubby such a mystery - he likes to watch TV, doesn’t pay her much attention, is a workaholic, not a morning person, kind of chubby, (”like a haveli“)… I’m sorry, what’s the mystery here? Adding to the confusion, the song stopped all of a sudden, like they’d just given it up as a bad job. Sunidhi really needs to pay attention to the crap she’s being fed these days if she wants to keep her A-list career.

Phatte - I have no idea what this horror is but it has Adnan Sami battling a severe case of constipation and it makes Sunidhi Chauhan angry. I don’t blame her. Its stated ambition is to make all the “the birds like parrots fly”. I decided to join them in their escape. Tell me when it’s safe to come back.

Dil Dhakda Hai - Oh goody, Adnan Sami’s back to mumble some more. If this is what gastric bypass surgery does to your vocal chords, then it’s time to bring back the fat. This time around he keeps Shreya Ghoshal company. And she sounds terrified as she well should, singing a song about under-seasoned food. Or maybe it’s about oral sex. Or cannibalism. Or something. If I could get over the crappy beats I’d know more. Except, do I really want to find out more about stuff like this:

Tu hai meri shayri
Chori ki hai Dairy
Sher tagde tadge hai
Chidiya Ghar se pakde hai

Translation:

You are my poetry
From a stolen diary
But the lines are solid
And caught from the zoo

Ooh, the last two lines are really clever, see? Because sher means verse as well as lion and you can see lions in the zoo... By the time the half-hearted rap shows up, I really don’t give a shit. It’s like kicking someone with a head injury - I can’t even feel it.

U Me Aur Hum (Part II) - Just when I’m wondering when this torture will end, Vishal Bhardwaj breaks out his guitar and sings this song. Suddenly, all those hokey words make sense and the world is lovely again. What the hell just happened?

I have no clue. But I can only hope the movie will be better. Just so it’s, you know, watchable. My eyes are on you, Kajol. Also I’m really happy the internet exists so I could listen online and didn’t have to pay for this crap. The End.

Offensive Ads - The Cad Fad

IdeaSmith — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 00:34:09 EST

I'm quite offended by this new Sprite ad. A lot of ads seem to be offending me these days. No, it isn't because ads have suddenly become offensive, it's because I'm watching more TV, and being increasingly appalled by what popular culture is shoving down our gullets.

To come back to the baki-sab-bakwaas drink, the ad features a guy telling his lady love that he must leave. When she asks Juliet-like why he has to go so early, he replies,

I've a date with my other girlfriend.

*Giggle giggle at boyfriend's mischieviousness*

Cut to boyfriend sliding into seat facing girlfriend no.2 who inquires pettishly, why he's late. And he drawls,

Had a date with my other girlfriend.

*Giggle giggle at boyfriend's mischieviousness*

Underline the "At least I'm honest!!" line along with the standard all-else-is-crap funda. Ting tong.

Tell me again why it's cool to be a cad? Of course I'm peeved by the sexism in that played up by popular culture. Anybody remember an Indipop song a few years ago featuring Lara Dutta double-dating two guys? The song was quite tellingly titled,

Tu chaalu hai re...

Then let me tell you what pisses you off the most. Having to have the following conversation with a close girlfriend:

She: Why on earth do we fall for men like this??
Me: Simple. Lousy taste.

It's not a crime to be a cad, but it should be. Just recently I was called on to testify in one such case (if we may look at things in that light). It's hard to tell whether my testimony would have swayed the verdict but the evidence certainly was damning. And yet, the culprit walked off scot-free. Damn him, damn his ilk. Don't bother telling me that men aren't all the same, please. One rotten creep is enough to ruin the entire barrel of trust. So, how you ask, did I speak? I didn't. Like I said, I doubt my testimony would have changed much.

Lousy taste is something we're all guilty of and I suppose we should be in handcuffs for it, in the same moment that the cads hang.

A 70s Love Child Reviews The 50th Grammy Awards

Temple Stark — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 00:42:07 EST

The Grammys is the best of the awards shows.

Kanye West's "Stronger" is actually a weak song, and it was the first song of his that made me think he could really be using his abilities to come up with much more meaningful songs. He also sang, Mama, and as he sang it was when i remembered that his mother died last year, suddenly and sadly. i had panned that song somewhat when i reviewed the album because a lot of rappers seem to have some type of basic, nothing-new-to-say "Thanks ma" song.

Of course, this rendition, this time, took on a depth of meaning he wished it had not. And it was largely acoustic which made it stronger.

The Beatles songs were also good because they were different from the originals. "A Day In the Life" is just different anyway and one of my favorite Beatles' songs. Since i haven't seen "Across the Universe" the "Let It Be" version was new to me. And judging by how much they were advertising the thing on DVD, I'm guessing not many others saw it either.

The Time and Rihanna were OK, The Time have lost a little energy and edge over time, without the trappings of Purple Rain.

Beyonce just isn't that impressive by herself or singing music meant for her. She's very good in collaboration, and with Destiny's Child. With Jay-Z. With Shakira. With Tina Turner - tonight with Proud Mary. I noticed, couldn't help it really, the plastic surgery of TT's face, kind of sad. Elsewhere too, of course, but now it looks like its painful for her to sing. I would have loved if she had said something along the lines of, good riddance to Ike, her former abusive husband. but I suppose making it clear she's moved past that is more powerful.

It was also good to see Tina, finally, with a booty.

I almost forgot Fergie and John Legend's joint production. Fergie has a surprisingly good voice - more Aguilera than Akon.

I guess I should give Amy Winehouse a listen, but her antics are pretty disgusting and completely meant to shock it seems. Hate that. None of it makes me want to listen. She's won two Grammys so far, though. I have a strong feeling I did start listening to one of her songs, probably "Rehab" and actually didn't like it at all.

I missed whatever the opening number was by the way.

Foo Fighters. That song started and the first thing that came to mind was Patrick Swayze's "She's Like the Wind." After that, no matter how rocking it was going to be, it was ruined for me. I wish the violinists and cello player in their whatever that was "moment in the spotlight" mini-competition had been able to play longer instead of The Foos.

Having just watched the first season of Arrested Development on DVD, it was good to see Jason Bateman.

I guess I'll be able to listen to Amy Winehouse, who wisely was pre-recorded [Late correction, no she wasn't] in case she went on a Aerosol binge and fell down the stairs prior to the Grammys.

It's the 50th Grammys by the way. I'm going to be looking for some type of apparel of that - or playing cards or shot glasses. Poker chips?

I had to make sure i was hearing some of the stupid shit coming out of Brad Paisley's mouth before I said it was stupid and shit. " I'd like to check you for ticks? Waa th fuuuuuuck? "Jeans playing peek-a-boo with your butterfly tattoo." Seriously? "I'd like to kiss you deep in the sticks." (OK, I kinda liked that last one). Truly, there must've been something better for him to sing, to highlight country of the evening?

Apparently not.

The "retired" Jay-Z's name has been mentioned a few times. The first award of the evening I cared about was the Best Rap / Hip-Hop Album went to Kanye West's "Graduation."

"You going to play the music over me?"
"It would be in good taste to stop the music, now."
Quote of the evening, so far, as the "see ya, so long" music played and he spoke about his mother, Donda. Truly the mini-speech was somewhat self-serving, saying she would want him to be the biggest artist in the world. Still, it's true, I think, otherwise he wouldn't say it.

Ludacris introducing gospel, the Queen of Soul - and mentioning Cab Calloway - hooray - that was pretty awesome. It was trombone's that played instead of trumpets, unless the trumpets just weren't on the screen. The gospel medley didn't work to well, for me. Gospel builds to something higher. Little snippets don't let the material breath and find their power.

20:55 time check

Fiest, Canadian. 1-2-3-4 is way too light. From Apple to spotlight. The brass was a nice touch. If she'd brought the guitar - it was a nice guitar - out more it would have worked well. But too light.

Keely Smith won the first ever grammy for best performance by a vocalist. I hope she wasn't forced into singing with Kid Rock and she wanted to do it. Kid Rock is surprisingly versatile copying styles. Martha Stewart and Busta Rhymes anyone? "This Old Black Magic Called Love." Thankfully short because it was just awkward.

Best Rock Album - John Fogherty???? Gag. Back to the old. Springsteen for once might have deserved it but I'm glad he didn't get it. The Foo Fighters won???? Well, OK, Springsteen was better than this album by a long shot. And I like the Foo like I like Barack Obama. In other words, I do, but reluctantly and not my first choice.

Slayer won a Heavy Metal award. Surprising there's still a category, but I guess the Rock category is, well see above. in the scrawl.

By the way, I am enjoying the show in case that wasn't clear and it may not be.

Alicia Keys was aiiight. It's a song that has great words, said earnestly. Herbie Hancock, Itzhak Pealman and Max Roach playing together was much more in the mood for the evening. What's that, they didn't all play together? Well the rambling speech by whoever got me completely confused as to what was going on. The music - Rhapsody in Blue - just the music, without campy Gershwin musical singing over it was great. The dueling pianos - we definitely could have had more of that, and the Halloween theme moments lurking in the background of the piece. Ah, rhapsody. The eager hug of the pianists at the end was pretty cool too.

Taylor Swift, after that great music step, went straight into clumsy script. Cough.

Best rap collaboration as a separate award? OK. most everything is a collaboration. Winners were Rihanna and Jay-Z for "Umbrella."

I'm just glad Jordin Sparks' "Tattoo." didn't win a fucking thing. That is the ass-whipingest dumbest song ever. She was great at the Super Bowl, but on my heart like a tattoo just doesn't work for imagery. No heart has a tattoo. Many tattoos are hearts but ...

"We honestly didn't know whether this woman would be available to perform tonight. Cuba Gooding Jr. (????why) about Amy Winehouse, both in London. Translation - "She coulda been dead y'all."

After listening to her now, other than some serious mumbling, and rambling music that seems to have no beginning, middle or end - not too bad at all. I like distinction in voice, even if it doesn't go anywhere (cf. Tori Amos, Bjork). She can't dance but she moves well. I really want to listen to more now but since I'm already tired of her foolishness, it's likely to be a quick hook. A little too much coquet in the "dish." I don't believe the surprise. Fragile? Maybe emotionally.

Doris Day? No way. She won today? No way. Lifetime achievement, you say? No way.

"For my Blake, incarcerated." Gotta love that from Winehouse. Perhaps the second best line of the night. One of the strangest speeches, no doubt. I actually liked that, though. At least it wasn't safe or boring. And can you tell I'm looking for dumb stuff in an awards show now?

Totemic Flute Chants by Johnny Whitehorse won an award. Worth a scrawl at the bottom of the screen.

A mini-celebration of 50 years of Grammy award-winning music. and the most exciting part of all that for me was finding out that Boots Randolph wrote / composed the Benny Hill Show theme.

Luciano Pavarotti is very much worth celebrating but whoever the Euro-trash was who bored the fuck out of me to get to the bit o' opera, isn't worth much - as a presenter. Josh Groban, boring, too thick in the voice. The person singing with him? Much better. An actual tonal range exists within.

This quote unquote, rock and roll segment is just blowin' in the wind. It's dusty. It's old. John Fogherty, moving like an old man and I've never much liked his voice. Jerry Lee Lewis tickling the black and whites of the piano. I guess they're supposed to be bringing us through the history of "true" rock n roll. They made it sound oh so old, boring and slow. I mentioned old right? And slow and boring? Not fast.

Can't blame 'em. Good to see the old pedophile. First time i'd seen him not rail thin. We're looking at shades of gray. Little Richard the one saving gray, sorry grace. His hands are moving fast and there's some Jeez-jumping energy in that voice. Hallelujah. They needed to let him sing a little more there.

Barack Obama won a Grammy for the audio book for "Audacity of Hope." Again, in the scrawl. In the scrawl is where it's at.

Will.I.Am did a embarrassingly crappy Grammy rappy, following a Mack the Knife snip. Added a Strangers in the Night Beat. The Don't Worry, Be Happy glimmer was awesome, as was the trip from Beat It. Whew, weird but thankfully short. Why?

Usher and Quincy Jones (who's won 27 Grammys) presented the Album of the Year award to - drum roll. Foo Fighters, Vince Gill, Herbie Hancock, Kanye West, Amy Winehouse. Herbie Hancock is the winner with, The River: The Joni Letters. This year is what they're talking about, re-ight? Quincy Jones said unbelievable, and I think I have to agree.

Jazz artist. Only second jazz cat to win the AOFYA. OK. Quixotic. ";Yes We Can", to coin a phrase'" A little, off-kilter shout out to Barack Obama. (Herbie's old, established). He's thanking Joni Mitchell because he put new music to her vision.

Go to Grammyintheschools.com, and then tell me why.

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and the Beatles

GV Krishnan — Fri, 8 Feb 2008 10:52:48 EST

Newspaper obits on Maharishi Mahesh Yogi highlight the time spent by the Beatles at his Rishikesh ashram in the 60s. For those of us in newspapers, the Beatles’ stay at the ashram in 1968 was a major media event. Several reporters, including many representing the British media, descended on Rishikesh, a sleepy pilgrim town in North India peopled by saintly souls and yogis on a renunciation mode.

Most other residents opted for Rishikesh so as to lead a life of relative obscurity at the Himalayan foothills. Mahesh Yogi wasn’t a seeker of enlightened anonymity. He probably chose Rishikesh because it provided the right address for those with spiritual credentials. His ashram, not an open house, was being run like a gated spiritual community. Located on the far side of the Ganges, his place was accessible from Rishikesh town only through a pedestrian suspension bridge over the river (Lakshman Jhoola). You needed clearance to gain entry to the Maharishi ashram, tucked away in the densely wooded hill area.

A helipad near the ashram, built with Mahesh Yogi’s blessings, facilitated his high profile disciples who preferred to air-dash to the ashram backyard, rather than motoring from Delhi to Rishikesh. The cottages at the ashram had all basic comforts, including geysers and air-conditioners, suited to VIP lifestyle.

Secluded location and the security arrangements at the ashram ensured that the celebrity inmates were insulated from the prying outsiders, notably the media. Newspaper reporters were not allowed. I went into the ashram for a look-see under the pretence of being part of a TV documentary crew . Newspaper reporters, under pressure to produce stories on the goings-on at the ashram, relied on visitors’ tales and accounts of obliging ashram staffers.

News agencies such as PTI and UNI maintained a constant watch; and major newspapers had their stringers camping at Rishikesh. The Statesman, New Delhi, deputed a reporter on the Beatles beat. My friend Saeed Naqvi of The Statesman, along with a staff photographer, drove from Delhi to Rishikesh every weekend looking for a Beatles story. I don’t know if Saeed ever got an interview with them.

I did manage to spot Paul McCartney, and even exchanged pleasantries with him, while location scouting for a documentary on the pilgrim town. He had apparently strayed out of the ashram and was walking about on his own, on an isolated stretch of the river bank. Our TV producer Yavar Abbas, for whom I was then a legman, and his cameraman from London, walked up to him for a chat. The Beatle, suitably amused to see a fellow Brit at such a desolate spot, indulged in small talk for a while.

The chance encounter would have given Yavar valuable footage. But then our cameraman had left behind his equipment at Shivananda ashram, across the river. That was where we were staying. The next day we gained access into the ashram, thanks to the glib talk by Yavar who was filming a documentary for telecast by BBC. We had an audience with Mahesh Yogi, but the Beatles were nowhere to be seen.

Instead, we found a large group of Russians at the congregation. They were officials and technicians visiting a public sector drug manufacturing unit set up at Rishikesh with Soviet collaboration. The next day my newspaper carried a story headlined – Mahesh Yogi Ropes in Russians.

Women Singers, The Glass Ceiling, & Bollywood Music

IdeaSmith — Fri, 1 Feb 2008 13:04:42 EST

Music is an integral part of every youth festival, highlighted by the crowds at Antakshari, and Music Quiz events. The music competition is usually the grand highlight of at least one evening. That we are home to the biggest film industry in the world shows in the fact that the event almost always features exclusive Bollywood songs.

I was an amateur singer in college…jamming, impromptu background scores in classroom capers, singing the national anthem on Republic Day and invocation prayers during college events gave me aspirations towards musical stardom on campus.

Any regular will tell you that there is a collection of 5-6 favorites that are rendered by the participants. There are normally an equal number of male and female singers since the competition (quite fairly) assesses musical ability regardless of gender. Audience response is a key determinant in judging performance so seasoned participants pick songs that suit their temperament and sing them in a way that is proven to move the audience. A good singer can expect a collective sigh over Tadap Tadap ke and only conclude Saara zamana haseenon ka deewana successfully if at least a few whistles have been heard. My male counterparts spanned the gamut of musical Bollywood from comedy (Pag ghungroo bandh Meera naachi - Namak Halal) to melancholy (Tanhaai - Dil Chahta hai), classical (Laga chunari mein daag) and romance (Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai).

I tested the waters and quickly stumbled onto hot favorites like Mann kyon beheka (Utsav), Morni bagha ma (Lamhe) and Dil ne kaha chupke se (1942-A Love Story). But as a performer, these songs always left me feeling somewhat…incomplete. I longed for a real, full-bodied song that would let me snatch up the audience like the boy's songs did. It took awhile to build a repertoire of songs that could get the audience shaking.

Then a male friend inquired,

Why do you always sing songs like this? It’s either cabaret or item numbers!

I protested,

What? I sang Dil Cheez Kya hai last time! It has a classical base.

Pat came the reply,

And it is a mujra.

And that’s when it hit me. There just aren’t powerful solos for women in Bollywood music! The most memorable songs are genteel love struck ballads of the sort that depict a delicate damsel awaiting her shehzada on safed ghoda riding to her rescue. Or the semi-soulful/mournful sort of the Na koi umang hai variety alternated by the haunting Kahin deep jale kaheen dil tunes.

And what of duets? For those acquainted with music, even a duet has a leader and a follower. Male and female voices work in different ranges of pitch and it is almost always the female voice that is arranged around the male voice. Symbolically, a typical Hindi duet usually has the male voice as the main, solid body with the female voice as a decorative motif twining around it, hitting the high notes occasionally. It is beautiful in its own way. It is art after all, and we’ve enjoyed it for decades.

But art is also about challenging boundaries and building something new, in thought and in expression. I defy you to name one Bollywood duet that has a female lead. I’m not counting such airs as Chura Liya hai which, while an undoubtedly spectacular classic, certainly does not make a case for powerful female expression.

I managed to find only one song – Hai Rama (Rangeela) which won us a first prize (and a fair bit of male attention coming my way...ha!). I’ll never forget the sheer headiness of singing this song, which my partner could not have shared. It was my song after all and all he was, was the gracious support voice. I got to set the pitch, the rhythm and the tone of the song. And most of all, it was my responsibility to convey the mood of the song. That's what powerful expression is all about!

But for most part, in duets I had to settle for playing second fiddle (or voice) to such tunes as Humko hamhi se chura lo (Mohabbatein), Dekha ek khwab to yeh silsilay hue (Silsila) and Ek main aur ek tu (Khel khel mein).

There was some leeway in the solos and thank God for the magic of Asha and R.D.Burman! Quite unexpectedly, in my quest to wear the pants in the musical family, I had wandered into Asha Bhosale territory. Her success formula worked for me as well. While Lata didi was ruling the AIR roost with her ‘good little girl’ melodies, Asha entered the only domain left to her –saucy cabaret songs, scintillating dance numbers and generally the kind of songs that Helen and Bindu danced to but would never be picturised on the heroine. I took the stage with Yeh mera dil pyaar ka deewana (Don) and Piya tu ab to aaja (Moneeekka my darling, notwithstanding!). Sauciness was the only recourse left to Asha and it was the only way I could find, to make my kind of music. It just would take Madhubala's verve to carry off a Jab pyaar kiya to darna kya. But for most part, even in music, the bad girl was the only one who got to taste power.

Popular Hindi music hasn't changed all that much. The few powerful female solos are still camouflaged in melodrama, raunch or abstraction. Think Zinda hoon main, Beedi jalaile, Pari hoon main.

Singing for the opposite sex would be another high. We enjoyed Kailash Kher’s soulful

Tune kya kar dala, mar gayee main, mit gayee main, ho gayee main teri deewani..

But I somehow can’t see Sunidhi Chauhan or Shreya Ghoshal getting the same reaction to a very spirited rendition

Gum shuda...

Even assuming that the male-female roles are still rather rigidly defined in Indian cinema, we find even gender-neutral emotions like inspiration voiced by male singers. While Baar baar haan (Lagaan) and Chak de (Chak de) may be too strongly sports-testosterone linked, what of Yeh tara, woh tara (Swades) and Bulla ke jaana main kaun (Rabbi Shergill)? I would have loved to have done a Bas itna sa khwab hai (Yes Boss) but I was vetoed by my team on account of it being a ‘male song’. I still don’t get it…women have dreams and ambitions too! And all we have to speak for it is Dil hai chota sa, choti si aasha (Roja)!

Britney Spears Admitted to UCLA Medical Center

Deepti Lamba — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 13:48:48 EST

She's on meds, she is a nympho, Adnan is her gigolo no he is a snake in the grass, Britney! Britney! Britney! No matter how hard we try, no matter how many times we tell ourselves we won't talk about her, we invariably end up talking about Britney Spears!!

People are taking voyeuristic shots of her, others, including myself, speculating about her wild life and now it all comes out that Britney wasn't 'all there' when she committed stupid acts.

This is the moment when we all may find ourselves repenting for badmouthing a diva who could have been another Madonna in the making.

How did she land up from being a Mouseketeer to a morbid self-pitying grinch? She may allegedly be bipolar. Apparently, she is relatively normal when on meds (reportedly Adderall) but off them, its 'Mr Bean gone Sexy'

The latest reports are that Britney has been checked into UCLA Medical Center for mental evaluation under an alias, and chaos reigns there. Her shadow Sam Lufti is the point man to make all the medical decisions.

Like all medical dramas, this one is still playing out. Her parents want to be the ones to make the medical decisions whereas Lufti has indicated that Britney wanted him to be the decision maker in the case of medical emergencies.

The singer, 26, was transported to UCLA for treatment and evaluation during a 72-hour emergency hold, known as a 5150.

"She went willingly. It was like something in her heart was telling her she should go. She knew something was wrong," confidant Sam Lutfi tells PEOPLE.

Further on, according to TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ an L.A. County Superior Court judge has just signed a "5150," meaning Britney Spears is on a three-day psychiatric hold at the UCLA Medical Center.

We're told there is a "good possibility" that it will be extended to 14 days....There is now a dogfight between Britney's family and Sam Lutfi over who will make medical decisions, however, that fight is now put on hold because the judge now makes the call.

What was the final straw that broke the camel's back?
"She was driving around her neighborhood like a mad-woman," says a Spears family source. "Britney has been prescribed medication which she refuses to take. This is just another sad, sad evening."

For once, I have no wisecracks to offer. I hope she gets the help she needs, gets to lead a normal life and watch her kids grow up.

Good luck Brits.