Desicritics Category: Media: Films - Erotica

Why Mom and Dad Walked out of Plaza Cinema 22 Years Ago

Tony Tharakan — Sat, 8 Dec 2007 01:18:39 EST

Back in 1985, Mom and Dad had just shifted to New Delhi. The capital's hectic pace of life didn't suit them at first and they looked for ways to maintain an umbilical link with their native state of Kerala.

A casual glance at a newspaper column one morning brought the welcome news that a new Malayalam film was playing at the Plaza Cinema in Connaught Place. As you can imagine, my parents were overjoyed and promptly drove down to the hall.

Mom was a bit disconcerted to find the cinema theater nearly empty. But that was nothing compared to her surprise at seeing a Sikh gentleman occupying one of the seats nearby.

"Must be a film critic," mumbled Mom. "Why else would he be interested in a Malayalam film?"

"There would be subtitles...He can understand it that way," said Dad.

The mystery was solved when the film started and a woman started disrobing on screen. And my parents realised that they, the Sikh gentleman and a few other men were watching what can only be described as a softcore porn flick.

"He didn't need subtitles," said Mom - a few minutes after my parents had slunk out of the hall and into the parking lot.

"And that's certainly not a family film," she added.

The film's name - which roughly translated to 'Family is Heaven' - had not given my parents any clues about its content. But they did learn one thing. That morning shows in Delhi theatres were not for the family.

P.S. Two decades later, things have changed. The refurbished PVR Plaza is no longer a haven for voyeurs and morning shows are usually reserved for family films. But Mom still makes it a point to check the Adult 'A' listing before venturing into theatres.

Spam Struck

Aditi Nadkarni — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 05:41:24 EST

"Would you like to add 8 inches or more to your penis?" asked the email in the most casual of tones.

I was stumped. I have spoken to a lot of people in all of my twenty-seven years and never been asked that. Also, having never given this particular question a serious thought I now considered the posibility for several seconds. Needless to say, I don't have a penis and 8 inches or more could make a whole, functional one. But while having a nice, long dick might even be fun for a change, I have always secretly pitied men for having their very sensitive reproductive organ be so accesible. So, no, I concluded, I did not wish to add 8 or more inches to my penis.

"Not even two or three inches, thank you" I muttered much to the confusion of my colleagues as I determinedly hit the Spam tab.

A few days later an aunt who had just very recently been introduced to the world-wide web wrote me an interesting email.

"Take a look at this email I received" she urged. Below was a lengthy forwarded message.

"It is with a deep sense of trust and brotherliness that I convey to you this news which I hope will not cause you any emotional distress" began the email making my stomach churn.

"I am Daren K, the Director of the Plks Bank Of Nigeria and am writing to you about the dormant savings of an account holder Wasidullah Nadkarni who died without electing a next of kin" continued the email with the sad news of beloved Wasidullah's death.

It is at times like this that I wish more than ever that my grandfather was alive.

"Wasidullah had no shame" he would've announced wagging a frail, vehement finger in the air, "Had he no care for the family's name...we are Brahmins! How dare he convert to Islam without informing the family elders!" he would've roared and then purposefully typed out a reply to Mr. Daren K completely convinced that Wasidullah Nadkarni had to be one of his estranged brethren.

"Dear brother Daren K, while we have no interest whatsoever in Wasidullah's enormous and unclaimed savings we will be arriving in Nigeria to carry out his last rites as per Hindu tradition." the email would've read and a worried Daren K would've never written to another Nadkarni again.

"Delete the email, its just spam" I promptly wrote to my aunt who had since then expressed worries of Wasidullah Nadkarni being the village bumpkin Wasanta Nadkarni who had gone to Dubai and never returned.

My own parent's attitudes have been stoic in the face of illustrious and uplifting lottery news that arrives daily in their inbox.

My dad in particular has a very practical yet slightly pessimistic logic in dealing with such news no matter how authentic it sounds.

"I have never gotten anything in life without working my tail off and so it is highly unlikely that Coca-Cola would send me a one hundred, thousand pound lottery....especially when I despise their product so much" he once stated very matter-of-factly.

Then there is Poetry.com which sends all aspiring poets letters of deep appreciation. One could enter "My Bonnie lies over the ocean" as a contest entry and will still receive voluble praise for their poetic talent. "World's Poet Of The Year" or some such heavyweight title is printed across the very top of the letter making many a young and naive poet's heart flutter in anticipation of the glorious journey they were about to embark upon. Then towards the end it becomes clear that one needs to pay about a hundred dollars and then some to get a plaque with "Poet Of The Year" engraved on it. And whats more you even get to buy your own book. How wonderful.

Now, isn't that what every talented literary genius wants, to be the only one buying their work? I have decided to walk over to Things Remembered and get myself a "World's best poet, author and just everything talented in general" award with the signature of some obscure person at the checkout counter. I think it might cost me less. Also the Gods Of Math have blessed me with the understanding that the leather bound coffee table edition that Poetry.com promises is a lot more expensive than printing out my poem and reading it over and over again.

How can one forget the whole weight loss industry with marketing personnel who cannot rest until everybody in the world is on some sort of a diet.

"Have you tried the cabbage diet?" Mona religously enquires every other Saturday.

I have half a mind to write back and ask her if she has ever tried the no-spam diet. While the cabbage diet could lead to some serious gas, a no-spam diet has no such flatulent gastrointestinal manifestations.

There was a time when I was new to the internet and the dot com trend was sweeping the cyber world. One could find websites with practically everything followed by a dot com. I began receiving offers for crystal and ceramic miniatures to decorate my bookshelves with. Shelfart.com would dedicately convince me each week as to why my home looked less like a home without any crystal or ceramic ornaments to brighten things up. When they did stop writing I was heartbroken. I wondered if they had finally figured out that while ShelfArt was a pretty cool play on words, ShelFart was not.

Years later now, Shelfari sends me mails from people in my address book asking "Do we like the same books?". How does it matter, I wonder. I don't even know when and why it became so important to find out if two people shared their taste in books.

Orkut of course has opened up a whole new range of unwanted emails. They are personalized and very sweet at times when the grammar isn't atrociously bad.

"Please, can I do friendship with you?" wrote a guy, "Your smile is like Madhuri Dixit" he added and I immediately forgave him for the incorrect and slightly dirty sounding "do friendship". While a Madhuri-smile should probably have no bearing on friendship, he did manage to flatter me quite effectively. I have to admit, sweet-talk is my favorite dessert. So I took a quick, noncommittal peek at his profile almost gushing from this unexpected comparison to La Dixit. And then it took me about twelve seconds to hurriedly reject his friend request once I saw "Shokeen Auntiyaan" listed among his favorite communities. That explained why he would want to "do" friendship.

Spam has become so much a part of my life now that if I don't hear from Tamara Coon who convinces me every single day that "Size does matter", I begin to worry that something's happened to her. When I don't hear from friends and family as often as I like, I send them emails telling them that I have spammers who love me more than they do.

Even as I type this post, I take a quick glance into my inbox and there sits an email posing a question that has long since haunted my psyche leaving me sleepless on many a night.

"Do you like your nipples pinched?" asks Tony Silver

"I thought they'd never ask" I whisper with a smile as the emphatic click of delete resounds.

Movie Review: The Blue Umbrella

meetu — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 13:13:36 EDT

Very rarely in Hindi cinema can you say - no significant story, not everybody has acted well, but still go watch it. Every frame (well almost!) is enchanting. And the going is slow, so you have enough time to take in every detail.

Yes, the movie is a fairy tale and is narrated as such. Melodrama is used where a parent would use exaggerated voice modulation to narrate the story. But, I still wouldn't call it a children's movie. It is very unlikely that the hues, the pace, or the subtle sense of humor are going to retain a child's attention. On the other hand, it is a very short movie and what a perfect way this would be to introduce the art that cinema is to children! And yes parents, there is a moral at the end of the story.

The camerawork, both indoors and outdoors, is simply breathtaking. Harayana's tourism department could very well use scenes from here to advertise its scenic beauty. Though the interiors are largely shot in the dark, the lighting and colors are used to beautify the scenes to perfection. A few scenes are shot from the point of view of a character or an object, allowing you to see what they/it are seeing - here the camera in combination with the background score has been used to enhance the emotion sought to be created. There were a few frames that were outright ugly, almost felt like they were shot by a different camera crew altogether. But, after a while, I noticed that such shots were used specifically for the darker characters. Maybe it wasn't intentional, but if the viewer feels obligated to rationalize the things they don't like, the director has done his job well, right?

The simple story is complemented by simple music which is soft on the ears. The lyrics very appropriately followed a child's train of thoughts. Reminded me a lot of Gulzar's own 'lakdi ki kaathi' from Masoom - a song that I grew up listening to. The lyrics especially stood out when the umbrella, an inanimate object, was being spoken of as a lover.

What stuck out as a sore thumb was the acting by all the side characters. In fact, the little girl's performance was also not up to mark. It was lifeless and flat. Pankaj Kapoor however, made up for all of it with brilliant body language. And this movie is more about the artistic representation of the subject, more than any individual performance. Though, the movie is about the characters, it is not a character driven script. Here I go rationalizing again!

This movie is as much a trip to fantasy land as it is an experiment with the medium through creative use of camera, lighting, music and color. A work of art that is very rarely made available to the common movie-going population. So, catch it while it is still in the theaters, because a DVD might not do full justice to the overall effort.

Rating: Watch for sure, preferably in theatre

Rating Scale (best to worst):
� Must see - on the big screen
� Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
� Wait for video release
� Watch if you have nothing better to do
� Switch channels if it's on cable!

The Prickly Porn Pickle: Does Erotica Thrill, Chill Or Kill A Relationship?

Aditi Nadkarni — Wed, 30 May 2007 00:10:13 EDT

I was having a casual conversation with a colleague the other day when she startled me by mentioning how much her husband enjoyed porn.

"Excuse me?" I said hoping I hadn't heard her right. Call me a prude or maybe its the desi in me but sudden, unexpected "sex" conversations startle me into discomfort.

She looked at me a tad sheepishly and my heart immediately went out to her. I realized from her expression that she was looking for a reaction, for answers. She'd been raised in a Catholic family and her husband, well, hadn't. She simply didn't know if it was ok for him to occasionally watch porn after twelve years of marriage.

"Do you think it is, you know, not normal?" she asked biting her lip, "I am sorry I brought it up", she added looking down, red in the face.

"Please don't feel bad about asking me" I said quickly in the hopes of easing her discomfort. More importantly, I was trying to come up with a rational answer, fast.

"Don't Indian guys look at Kama Sutra and such? Isn't it kinda similar?" she asked innocently as I cringed but held my tongue.

"Umm, well, Indian guys look at porn too...I'm sure but Kama Sutra isn't porn" I managed to say, "It is more like a couple's guide to sex...positions, foreplay ideas and such."

She seemed interested and that evening she could be seen giggling like a teen at the oh-so-naughty Spencer's store, looking for the 'Kama Sutra' board game that I have recommended to many a married friend before. It is a fun distraction. Come on, who wouldn't love playing a board game where one not only can get the competetive high of a victory but might even get lucky at the end?! Win, win!

She was happy and I figured she'd gotten over the minor sex-smite. Either the Kama Sutra board game really spiked things in the bedroom or it could very well be that she just didn't mention her issues ever again.

A few days ago, a newly wed Indian couple came over for dinner. The husband had to leave a bit early, they told us, due to prior commitments. During conversation we found out that the "prior commitment" was a strip-club party with his friends. Not a bachelor party, just something he and his friends did once in a while. The wife seemed awkward when the subject was alluded to. It made me uncomfortable but they didn't seem to be too flustered about the situation. He gave her a peck on the cheek before he left and she sat with us and chatted while he was at a strip club with his friends. I wondered if he would've done the same had she planned on a girl's night out at a male strip club. For some reason it left somewhat of a vulgar taste in my mouth. Maybe it was just me. Who knows, maybe I am a prude after all!

But these few recent episodes prompted me to contemplate about the "porn" issue that seems to plague so many relationships. With the advent of internet porn, it is quite literally at one's fingertips. Westerners have always treated porn and strip clubs with casual regard, often viewing it as some form of entertainment. I find myself wondering how Indians who have moved to the US adapt to this cultural dilemma.

Some people claim that a li'l bit of harmless porn is hardly worth fussing up a storm over. Some others shake their heads, raise their eye-brows and basically declare that the relationship is done once the P-word infiltrates the bedroom. Its is equivalent to cheating they say. Then there are those who shrug and state, very practically, that they'd just rather not know. What they don't know, won't hurt them. So I am curious as to what the consensus is on this subject.

Does porn in a relationship crowd the bedroom and result in intimacy issues? Does it just add a wee bit of excitement and shouldn't really be so worrisome? Should her man's checking out the lithe, nude body of another woman, not bother a woman? What does it do to a woman's self-esteem? How would men feel, if their wife, girlfriend or partner were to get it on only after having checked out a hunky pornstar first?

Sex - Clarifying The Confusion

Uma Ranganathan — Mon, 7 May 2007 06:03:15 EDT

I can't think of a topic more difficult to talk about or one which causes more confusion, anger and embarrassment in human beings than the topic of sexuality.

In recent times a few articles on this forum have attempted to deal with the subject though the discussion following such pieces - often a combination of belligerence, sarcasm and tom-foolery - indicate fear and a reluctance to understand the deeper issue. The question I am asking myself is, how can we go beyond rigidly defending our positions and start to understand what is really going on?

On the face of it, it might appear that individuals are polarized. But going deeper you find that the polarization is actually within the individual, which I think accounts both for the aggression and the tendency to trivialize the issue. It feels as if each of us is caught between two opposites.

On the one hand we are influenced deep down by traditional values which say that sex outside such and such conditions is wrong. Extra marital sex is wrong, homosexuality is wrong, sex with someone much older/younger than you is wrong, generally sex itself is bad, and so on. On the other hand there is the media hype around sex which makes people in this day and age assume that sexual freedom means constant sexual activity and that if you are not attracting a thousand people of the opposite sex on a regular basis, then boy, you're cutting one hell of a sorry figure.

Many of us feel the pressure of being pulled in opposite directions, while knowing that neither direction is "true" in the absolute sense. We sense vaguely that sexual truth is something very individual yet for fear of transgressing social rules and inviting ridicule, we are seldom able to openly speak about how it really is, for us.

Our sexual instinct is one of the most basic urges in life and if we are made to feel that "we are messing it up" for whatever reason (I watched a great episode of Seinfeld on this issue a couple of days back) we are going to experience this inadequacy and wretchedness deep down in us which will ultimately affect all our relationships.

The question is, how can we find out what is okay for us as individuals? Assuming that each of us has our own individual sexual needs (determined by our age/gender/physical and biological make-up, sexual preferences etc.) each person has to find out "what feels right."

To be sexually free, at least to me, means not simply to be free to fuck around but rather, to free my own ability to sense what is right for me. Nothing more than that. To do this I need to overcome my fears, to go beyond what society tells me I should want.

Am I free to say "Yes" where I want to say yes and equally, free to say "No" when I don't want something? How can I tell whether my "Yes" is a simple direct response coming from my body and soul and not from a part of me that wants to escape loneliness or is seeking power or is out to please? In the same way, how can I tell whether my "No" is also a simple response and not just arising out of some deep prejudice or fear of getting emotionally involved?

By looking at some of these things within the context of our individual experience and upbringing, we can start to clear up the confusion and open the way for deeper understanding and acceptance between us, of the way we really are. What can possibly help is to learn to share both, our experiences of sexuality and also fears and resistances, with people whom we feel close to and whom we trust, so that in time, we can start to recognize the rules, regulations and prejudices we have internalized, which make sexual transparency - and ultimately transparency in general - so difficult

Book Review: The Kite Runner

Mayuri Sharrma — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 12:46:44 EDT

In his debut novel, Khaled Hosseini takes us to Afghanistan. An Afghanistan untouched by the Taliban, where we weave through crowded streets, climb poplar trees, nibble on dried mulberries and walnuts and spend lazy holidays readings books with 12 year old Amir and his servant boy and best friend, Hassan.

To gain the approval of his silently critical father, motherless Amir is desperate to win a prestigious, local kite-flying tournament. Hassan loyally promises to help his friend, little knowing how this one day would change the course of their entire lives.

The Kite Runner is about friendship and brotherhood and fathers and sons. Of relationships that strain against the boundaries of trust. Of circumstances and personal devil's. Of unconditional love and unsullied trust. Of redemption and guilt and the power of freedom and forgiveness. Of the mistakes we make and the mistakes that make us.

A credible story that comes full circle across continents, from an unblemished Afghanistan to modern America and back to a war-torn, Taliban ruled Afghanistan. A story that reminds you how one moment can change your entire life.

The simplest writing that you can come across, which reminds you how difficult it is to write in simple words.

There are books that punch you violently and you are left reeling from the blow for a long, long time.(The Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk) Then there are books which impress you with exquisite language and minute detailing. (Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts) There are classics that can be quoted by generation after generation (Gone with the wind by Margaret Mitchell). There is a 'bible' like The Godfather which is treasured like a family heirloom.

And sometimes there comes a book that quietly seeps into your entire being and stays there forever. A book that is so simply written, that it can only be felt. That book is The Kite Runner.

Rapid Rise in Air Pollution Around the Taj Mahal

fhmtech — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 05:36:37 EST

To ensure a clean environment around Taj Mahal and Agra Fort, millions of rupees have been spent to control the air and atmosphere: however in a report released indicates that there has been an alarmingly rise in the levels of poisonous gases around both the heritage sites.

The Central Pollution Control Board (CPCB) of India released figures which alarmed conservationists and environmentalists and now are in strong demand to control traffic around the inciter's of the site. The reports show that nitrogen and sulphur dioxide are to blame. Nitrogen levels are presently 28 micrograms per cubic metre although it was 14 micrograms per cubic metre while sulphur dioxide per cubic metre increased several folds.

The suspended particulate matter (SPM) has also gone up owing to the dry Yamuna riverbed and mining activity in the Bharatpur district.

There are over 100 small foundries in Agra and they have also played a significant part in the air pollution of the Taj Mahal and Agra Fort owing to the expulsion of sulphur oxide and particulate matter. However, many of these foundries have installed wet scrubbers to control the air but have been unable to do so as most of them have operational problems. The main reason is due to limited supply of water and poor water quality. The foundries are now looking for other ways to maintain the quality of air they expel.

An oil refinery was built some 30 km away from the Taj Mahal and it released some 25-30 tons of sulphur dioxide daily. I do not know if this refinery still exists but it was reported that during October to March the sulphur dioxide would flow with the winds and reach Taj Mahal.

The Supreme Court has ordered several industrial activities in Agra to either shift or to close down their polluting factories or units round the Taj Trapezium.

It has been claimed that the main contributor to this air pollution is due to the use of diesel vehicles. Initially during 1985 there were 50,000 registered vehicles but now it has increased to 500,000.

I had an experience with a diesel-engine car and it was not good. I used it for 2.5 years and sold it owing to pollution, too much black smoke was expelled, engine made too much noise, difficult to maintain.

Another reason for the rise in pollution in the Taj Mahal has been the decision of diverting the city traffic to the Yamuna Kinara road passing between the Agra Fort and the Taj Mahal.

On a daily basis thousands of buses, trucks and vehicles pass through this road polluting the atmosphere and has been created a disadvantage to this heritage site as many tourists are now irritant to such area.

Although transport companies have defied orders to shift somewhere else. The district authorities tried to shift the Uttar Pradesh Roadways bus stand from the Fort area to the new terminus on the Delhi-Agra highway but failed to do so.

Mumbai's Porn Films: Ganda Hai Par Dhanda Hai Ye

Sakshi Juneja — Sat, 6 Jan 2007 01:18:26 EST

The Hindi film industry is mostly known for Big Budget films, heavy-weight production houses, mega stars and their starry tantrums and over-the-top scandals but what many fail to notice and at times even acknowledge is the bustling 'C' grade films market - in simple words the Hindi porn films.

Mumbai Mirror reports:

The South used to generously churn out these mind-boggling films, until Mumbai decided it wanted its share of the easy profits as well. Think about it. Most of the budget is wisely invested in the heroine's lingerie and whatever's left goes into production. The script? Er, well the heroine can exercise and strip. Or she can cook and strip. Or? So many excuses to strip, such few films?
The male actors in the films are, well, disposable. Any man can do that job! The actresses earn more. Shakeela and Monalisa are the babes of the bosom brigade and rake in up to Rs 2-3 lakh per film. The newcomers earn Rs 5,000 per day.

Frankly speaking, never have I myself watched any of the desi-porn flicks for many valid reasons - they are shown in shoddy theatres in some shady nooks and corners of Mumbai city, they mostly appear to be tasteless and lastly, the leading actors can easily win the "Ugly Duckling" contest.

But I remember once having a chat with a well-known Bollywood Film Producer's son over the rise in 'C' grade films in past couple of years and was shocked to hear from him that many well-known production houses also invest money in such films. Since the amount put in is very less as compared to commercial Hindi films, the earnings are much more and the risk of failure is bare minimum.

Another aspect of this industry which I find pretty disheartening is that, as the article points out, many young girls are encouraged by their family to be a part of such porn films. Obviously there are reasons galore - need for money, stardom dreams, easy income, etc.

Kishan Shah, the Subhash Ghai of this industry says, "The parents of the girls are aware of the implications of entering this industry, they actually encourage them too. Unhein actress banne ka shauk hai. Unfortunately, prostitution and the casting couch are rampant in this industry. How do you think that Monalisa, a girl who earns Rs 2 lakh per movie and does five films a year, can maintain a house of Rs 60 lakhs and two cars worth Rs 10 lakh each?"

I'm not saying that prostitution and casting couch do not take place in other affluent sections of the Hindi film industry but I guess it's done more discreetly, plus the parties involved belong to much higher ranking and therefore can easily afford to hide behind the glittery showcase.

As for the censor board, well they are effortlessly hoodwinked.

The Censor Board passes them with an A Certificate, but usually they're shown the 'clean' version. The 'real' reels are inserted later at the single-screen theatres and dingy video parlours. Raids and crackdowns have not proved to be entirely effective.

All in all, one can say that such people and such films exist because there is a huge demand for it. Just the way a popular Bollywood song goes "Ganda hai par dhanda hai ye".

Take a look at these imaginative and highly amusing film titles:

Ek se mera kya hoga

Bhooton ka honeymoon

Bedroom mein burning story

BP - Bed Partner

Meri life mein uski wife

Movie Review: The OH In Ohio

Deepti Lamba — Fri, 8 Dec 2006 02:54:27 EST

A man's heart may be through his stomach but in all likelihood it would kill his libido. A recent article in Forbes discusses the effect food has on sexual appetite, the means of improving one's sex life vis-a-vis a good balanced diet, exercising, trying out new sex products in the market ( though studies have shown them to have mere placebo effect in general) and in case of grave sexual dysfunction go to a therapist which obviously means really speaking sex begins in the mind.

Which brings me to a romantic movie, The OH in Ohio, which isn't a chick flick and deserves to be watched by all sexually active adults.The central theme of the movie is frigidity which holds the heroine back not only in bed but in her day to day living as well.

The movie is fast paced and amusing. Set in Cleveland amidst a couple actively pursuing the American Dream, it provides a glimpse of middle-class life with all it's joys and viscissitudes. Priscilla is at the top of her career and has an outwardly successful life and happy marriage, having been married for ten years. She suffers from a sexual dysfunction, however, namely, the inability to achieve orgasm. After visiting a therapist with her disgruntled husband Priscilla discovers the joys of a vibrator alone and inevitably loses her husband to a younger woman. Despite being able to achieve multiple orgasms using the vibrator she realizes the need for a living partner and her hunt leads her to the swimming pool constructor (Danny De Vito) who makes up for his physical shortcomings with a quirky yet mature personality and because of it gets to keep the girl in the end.

There are numerous layers to the movie which hold true to life. For example if the plumbing down below is in a good enough condition then the clogging inevitably is at the source which is the mind is generally an accepted fact. Even today for many women sex continues to be a dirty word, a duty to be fulfilled grudgingly or feel awkward when it comes to feelings of sexual inadequacy which is a problem common to men and women alike.

A sex survey conducted by Outlook Magazine in India reached the following conclusion - "Virginity, commitment-phobia, pornography and reluctance towards oral sex still dominate women's sexual confessions about men. But what's undeniably changing is the belief of both sexes in the equality of the new, emerging equations."

Exploring one's sexuality is still considered a taboo in most societies. In her exploration Priscilla tries lesbianism but comes to the conclusion that despite bedding numerous people the spark continued to elude her as she was unable give in to the moment and let herself go when the little death took hold of her.

Therein lies the central theme of the movie - We are at our most vulnerable at that last orgasmic moment. Stripped of the civilized veneer we become one with the universe, when the words, 'Was it as good for you as for me' no longer sound corny and most importantly we are on the same mental level with our partners as was Priscilla with Wayne the Pool guy when she experienced her first orgasm.