Desicritics Category: Media: Films - Bollywood

Movie Review: Tahaan - Paradise Lost

Just Another Film Critic — Sat, 6 Sep 2008 10:56:58 EDT

Santosh Sivan is one of those very few DOP turned directors that are spoken of nowadays. In spite of their box office results, Santosh Sivan’s films always create expectations. It is not often that we see a wide release of his films. And when they do, it is wise to catch them up on the big screen. Watching Tahaan: A Boy With A Grenade, it is inevitable for one to be reminded of his staggering work Theeviravaathi: The Terrorist (1999), for both graze similar and contemporary themes.

Set and shot is the paradisal Indian (!) state of Kashmir, Tahaan (Purav Bhandare) is the story of a young boy of the same name and his friend/donkey Birbal. Situations change for the worse and Tahaan is forced to separate from Birbal. Tahaan is shattered and decides to get back Birbal at any expense. For this, Tahaan travels from one place to another, meeting one character to another and facing one peril to another, in the end being exploited in many ways, much like Birbal himself. Meanwhile, his mute mother (Sarika) is desperately is search for her husband, who went missing three years ago. Though in utter distress, her only hope is a miracle, which seems to be the only way out for all of the valley’s residents. Amidst the echoes of bombs and bullets in the serene valley, Tahaan’s objective, however, remains simple and straightforward – Get Birbal back. Unlike Malli of The Terrorist, Tahaan’s primary aim is utterly disjoint from the state of the affairs of the country.

Made in the same tradition as Iranian gems such as Marooned in Iraq (2002), Turtles Can Fly (2004) and a few others, Tahaan is tightly grounded in the culture of the state and also in the present political turmoil of the region. Unlike many of its Iranian counterparts that enthrall the audience with the sheer simplicity of their plot, Santosh Sivan’s script tries to bring in the larger issues into the picture, but never once changing perspective or taking a stand. Thus, Tahaan strictly remains a story of the titular character, without any pretense.

Few directors in India remain in the same cadre as Sivan when it comes to visual composition. If it was the haunting and dense jungles of coastline Lanka in The Terrorist, it is the vast and white snowy stretches of Kashmir in Tahaan. Sivan’s cinematography effectively uses the widescreen to capture the awe-inspiring peaks of Kashmir in its entirety. The sound design needs a definite mention for its remarkable ear for detail and naturalness with its borderline synchronized sound.

No complaints in the acting department of the film. Anupam Kher is at his easy best and churns out the best performance of the film. All his lines succeed, in spite of being very mediocre and deliberately inserted. Sarika’s self-assuring quietness and her countenance gel well with her character and makes it a very credible effort. Rahul Bose, after a series of debacles, shines as a dimwit in his earthy and lovable role. Purav Bhandare, who plays the title character, does a decent job too.

Like The Terrorist, Sivan goes totally minimalist, in spite of not being under financial constraints this time around. This particularly shows in the film’s near-zero depiction of on-screen violence and its stubbornness against visual extravaganza, reminding us again of its spectacular predecessor. This not only reminds us that grandness does not necessitate lavishness but also shows how Tahaan is shielded from the trauma of war, which apparently is the need of the hour. However, Tahaan does differ from The Terrorist, unfortunately, for the worse. More verbose and noisier than the former, Tahaan tries hard to elucidate the protagonist’s charm and bring in calculated humour, which could have been made very self-sufficient considering the quality of the material at hand. As a result, Tahaan does not linger in the minds of the viewers permanently and fails to stalk them long after the movie is over.

Though more overtly dramatic and conventional than The Terrorist, Tahaan may, to an extent, serve as a companion piece to it. The Terrorist depicts how the basic human nature is interminable and unalterable be what the external situation whereas Tahaan shows how the innocence of childhood is unduly exploited by (anti) social elements, although it remains untainted by them.

The Indian Man

IdeaSmith — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 04:48:31 EDT

I remember reading a review of Honeymoon Travels which described KK Menon's character as thus:

He isn't quite a male chauvinist, just an Indian man.

I didn't quite get that at the time. Then I saw the movie and thought I understood a bit of what the reviewer was trying to say. KK Menon's Partho is a stiff-necked prude with very propah notions of behavior (for the Indian woman). He is quite unfortunately (for him) married to a vivacious Milly who tests his patience, shocks him with her uninhibitedness and generally keeps him quite jumpy. Change in the known order and spontaneity are not things that Partho symbolizing the Indian man, is comfortable with.

Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend, about the situation of 'going too far and too fast'. He shared a personal experience of that type saying,

We were on our second date and things happened. That was really too fast. But she didn't protest at all so I went ahead.

I had to stop him because I didn't think he realized what he was saying. That perhaps it wasn't 'too fast' for her. And that if it was 'too fast' for him, he didn't have to wait for her to stop; he could pull a stop sign himself. He looked at me as if the very thought had never occurred to him.

Oh well, Indian men. We deplore their ways, we roll our eyes at their habits but we love and live with them. I've resigned myself to the fact that 'Mama's boy' is not only a fitting description for every man of this species but also that most of them consider it a supreme honor higher than the President's medal.

The Indian man can be sweetly (and not so sweetly) ignorant of the female anatomy. Or he can be a regular Don Juan. But either way, he'll still be extremely startled when the woman climbs atop him and demands more. The Indian man, no matter how educated, liberated or metrosexual is completely unfamiliar with the concept of female sexuality.

A lot of Indian men are prudes. Oh right, they may make their lascivious remarks, their lecherous jokes and their elbow-nudging antics may drive us up the wall. But all of that is just bravado, a need to fit in with the peer group, no matter how old they are. At heart, it seems like they've all got issues with their own bodies which might be one reason they approach their partner's body the way a teenager might - tentatively, furtively, clumsily and quickly.

So now that I've derided the Indian man's approach to sex, let me tell you what I do find likable about him.

The Indian women is definitely the driving force even if she isn't exactly in the driver's seat. After all the feminist sirens from Bengal, the women auto-rickshaw drivers in Tamil Nadu, the demure-but-independent nurses from Kerala, the 'homely'/shrewd Gujju girls all live with Indian men. They have fathers, brothers, husbands and sons. Sometimes I think feminism and women empowerment just manifest themselves in unique ways in India, but exist they do. We've perfected the art of backseat driving in a lot of other areas of our lives.

The Indian man, he's quite green in this whole modern-world thing but he can be taught. Yes, beneath the somber pinstripes and the flashy gizmos, our desi Neanderthal man lurks but with some firm, tactful handling this man can actually be trained to be a worthwhile human being. I think I'd be right in saying that a lot of times our men hold us back. But in some ways, they are our safety valves, our terra firma. After all, they are also our papas who stay distant all through our childhood then run away to sob in silence when we get married, our protective bade-bhaiyyas who will just never learn that little sister grew up a long time back and doesn't always need a bodyguard, our mischievous but fond chote devvars and well the patis if not parmeshwar.

Quite tellingly, at the end of Honeymoon Travels, Partho in a rare bare-all moment tells Milly that he is intimidated by her, afraid of losing her to her spontaneity, afraid of letting go of terra firma. Hmm, quite touching and sweet actually.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the Indian man isn't at the forefront of his kind but maybe we, the Indian women, don't need him to be.

Movie Review: Singh Is Kinng

Deepti Lamba — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 06:14:52 EDT

With the movie-Singh Is Kinng making well over $20 million so far, Akshay Kumar is surely the ruling Pasha of Bollywood. With his bashful smile and twinkling eyes Akshay has won the hearts of his fans once again.

The movie lacked depth but rarely are Akshay Kumar movies known to have serious elements in them. That is the beauty of the movie; it was comedy from beginning to end without descending to making fun of a community as was previously done in Bollywood. Take movies like Parosan, Amar Akbar Anthony where the idea of comedy was to exaggerate the characteristics of different communities of India and many a times they were extremely racist.

Singh is Kinng took another route. It highlighted the characteristics of the Sikh community that makes them endearing. Qualities such as being people of their word, having a strong sense of integrity and being large-hearted.

Akshay did a few stunts on his own, looked hot and even Katrina Kaif looked pale before him. In fact Katrina's role was no more than that of a bimbo (supposedly a soon-to-be lawyer but seemed more of a fluff-brained twit) who looked pretty and laughed all through the second half of the movie.

Neha Dupia in fact had a far more significant role to play in the movie and along with Kiron Kher delivered a character portrayal as well as the rest of the cast.

The formula of the movie was predictable but the lightheartedness and aplomb with which actors acted as bindaas Sikhs made the movie a pleasure to watch.

The numbers were foot tapping and the song with Snoop Dogg awesome. Two thumbs up for the movie and a definite watch with kids.

DVD Review: Taare Zameen Par

Cine Cynic — Sat, 9 Aug 2008 13:11:13 EDT

The DVD of Aamir Khan's Taare Zamee Par hit the Indian stores recently. Aamir wrote in his blog that Walt Disney, which bought the distribution rights in U.S., U.K., Australia, New Zealand and Canada, will however take another three more months to release in these countries.

In school, I had a classmate who could never read without making funny mistakes. He drew pencil sketches and painted better than anybody else in the class. None of the students and teachers were mean to him. I confess, however, to have laughed at him during most reading sessions along with other students. I now wonder whether he was dyslexic. Dyslexia, the inability to learn to read, is surprisingly common and does often go undiagnosed.

Ishaan Awasthi is an eight-year-old boy with a vivid and peculiar imagination, and with a "crippling" disability to learn in the traditional manner. This disability—which some of the audience might guess as a textbook case of dyslexia—alienates, torments, punishes, frustrates and ultimately pushes the young soul towards suicide.

This takes place in a gradual progression over a period of 150 minutes and is something that we won't complain about. How the boy gets rescued and his happiness restored forms the rest of the story. Filled with vibrant colors and well-used CGI, Taare Zameen Par is a movie that keeps our hearts heavy even days after watching it.

Darsheel Safary has a potential to become a great actor. Apart from pulling off difficult scenes like holding back tears from spilling out of his brimming eyes, it is his understanding of Ishaan's character that is most commendable. Sachet Engineer as Dada is good too. A big brother who is protective, supportive, but mostly helpless owing to his own young age is a very realistic and well-played character.

Personally, having a soft corner for mother-child relationships, Tisca Chopra made a special impression. She provides solid support to the movie as Maya, Ishaan's mother, making us feel the plight of every loving but concerned mother, without going overboard. Darsheel and Tisca were able to extract copious amounts of water from my eyes in every scene they missed each other (which is the entire second half).

Aamir Khan donned the hats of director and Ishaan's god-sent teacher Ram Shankar Nikumbh. While directing, he was able to use his own experience as an actor to milk out memorable performances from the cast. I only wish that someone else played Nikumbh. However well Aamir might have acted, I could sense the undeniable presence of a star power, especially glaring itself through the hip costumes. An actor without such star presence, who could look more like a teacher, would have filled us with hope that there are teachers in our schools who care.

Full credit goes to Amol Gupte and Deepa Bhatia. It is their brainchild, their labor of love. The couple shared the roles of writer, creative director, researcher and editor.

The movie has its cheesy elements but is still very original, starting with its theme concerning a dyslexic child. It succeeds on a very important level in that it makes us think, not just feel nostalgic. My only complaint is the movie's tagline, but let us take that next week.

Rakhi Sawant - My Big Break Is Breaking Me Up

Sakshi Juneja — Fri, 8 Aug 2008 09:25:09 EDT

Sakshi is a big Rakhi Sawant fan – The only line people seem to come up with whenever handed with the responsibility of introducing me to a new set of people. I can’t really blame them though. Ever since I started dedicating wholesome posts in honour of Bollywood’s most famous Item Girl, my blog’s popularity jumped higher with every controversy she entertained.

Traffic, links, feed counts…you name it, “Rakhi Sawant’s unofficial PR agent of the virtual world” became my by-line. And I lapped it up every single time, never feeling that it’s gotten too much.

Until now that is. For quite sometime, I have been dabbling with the idea of a career change. Not that my current profession provides me any less opportunities; working in a family-owned business has major perks and believe me, I have exploited each to the very maximum. But I guess I have stretched myself a bit too far – I've spent five years in a field that is interesting but not stimulating enough, for me that is. Since I don’t plan on spending the rest of my (workable) life caught up in the same rut, I have decided its time I take blogging rather more seriously than just a much-loved hobby.

Cutting a long story short, since I have put myself out in the market, freelance offers have been pouring in. Unfortunately though, quantity is all I have been getting (and no, I am not referring to the paycheck). But as they say, “sabar ka phal meetha hota hai” - Couple of weeks ago an editor texted me for an assignment which, he claimed, only I could truly justify.

He asked me to write a feature (running to several thousand words, to be accompanied by a high couture photo shoot – you know the works) for his high-profile fashion and lifestyle magazine on a Bollywood celebrity. No brownie points for guessing who he wanted me to write on – Rakhi Sawant it was. Now, Rakhi isn't part of the magazine's usual 'profile', but hats off to this editor who wanted to get something new and daring in.

To say that I was excited is to the say the least – not only was I getting to write about someone I truly admired for her gutsy and in-your-face attitude (to her profession and life in general), I was also still very much within familiar territory.

Or so I thought.

Dream ends, nightmare begins

The past two weeks have been unbelievably frustrating. Getting through to her has seemed like an endless series of phone calls that were just never answered, SMSes that just weren’t replied to (or understood?) and emails that were treated with little more concern than you treat your spam folder. For several days, I felt like I was part of a bad Bollywood love song, chasing my elusive heroine around the banyan tree!

Then, when I finally managed to get in touch with the lady herself, she promptly threw me back into the pool of sharks – that’s right, she asked me to speak to her manager. To be fair however, that phone call did set the ball rolling. In a manner of speaking. Although I do have an interview date with her now, I’m still hoping they see the light regarding arranging a photoshoot soon.

It’s really disheartening if you think about it – my first big assignment, on someone I feel so strongly about and all the discouragements that can possibly arise, have come my way. Welcome to the real world, or rather more aptly, the glamorous world of the Hindi film industry. Maybe I should ask Rakhi for tips on surviving.

Indian Movies - Very Much Without Verisimilitude

Cine Cynic — Sun, 3 Aug 2008 11:52:03 EDT

Last week, I pondered about the director's need to research about a subject that is an important aspect of his or her movie. Extending that thought process, I feel that verisimilitude is a quality that lacks in most of our movies.

Everyone is doing a good job with railway stations. But take a police station, for example. I have only had the opportunity to see them from outside so far, but the friends who have been inside assure me that they are nothing like what they show in our movies. Walls are not painted in red on the lower half, and white/off-white above. Cells are not always visible from the first room where most of the cops sit.

This was perhaps true about stations in the olden days (pre-Independence?). The sets in our studios erected decades back may have been renovated and repainted but not rethought about. Today's stations are usually dilapidated independent houses which have been furnished to suit a work environment for cops. I must say that Bollywood is doing a good job here, considering the sets in the multitude of cop tales being produced. Telugu film industry remains far behind and blissfully ignorant.

And what about the jobs? Novelists and short-story writers take pains to glean tidbits and jargon about various jobs, especially the jobs of their protagonists. Arthur Hailey was hailed for taking years for each novel, and oft-quoted as an epitome for researching.

Film makers, however, are exploiting the 20% rule to satisfy themselves and the audience. The 20% rule, say in animation, suggests developers to ignore 80% of a fast-paced action and to concentrate on the take off and landing of the animation. Like in a sequence where Tom chases Jerry. The chase itself is shown as a blur but the initial and final microseconds are crystal clear.

I recently watched a nondescript movie where the hero repairs a car that broke down. We have all seen it a number of times. The camera shows a closeup of the hands, then a closeup of the heroine waiting, then a longer shot of the sweaty hero collapsing the bonnet, and finally a closeup of getting some water to wash his greasy hands. The entire activity is not glossed over because it is a trivial issue; it is glossed over because our film makers aren't patient enough to clearly define that car problem and find out (theoretically) its solution.

When I learned driving, my driving school skipped the theory class where I was to have learned changing tires, pouring water in the carburetor, and making minor repairs. I always wish one of our movies imparted a little such knowledge.

Showing details about the above activity would make a greater impact when the character has a job of a car mechanic or, umph, engineer. People among the audience who really have that job feel proud and thankful for showing a snippet of their everyday lives, and the remaining who are in obscurity have an 'aha' moment.

Today we take for granted the omniscience of our protagonists whether in driving and fixing vehicles, or wielding and defusing weapons. The conflict, if any, faced by the protagonist no longer carries that high tension among us had we known that the protagonist is like one of us, without all the knowledge about the universe.

Verisimilitude is not an end in itself, rather a means to increase our belief and tension in the story.

Gulzar's Hu Tu Tu - Misplaced Idealism?

Shantanu Dutta — Fri, 1 Aug 2008 13:38:48 EDT

In the midst of the 25 crore per MP conversation going on all over, I returned to Gulzar’s Hu Tu Tu, which explores political venality so well. Even the name of the film has been conveys a meaning – Nana Patekar, who etches a key role in the film explains that politics is like Hu Tu Tu – the Marathi name for Kabaddi- politicians grabbing, dragging and pulling each other down as often as possible and the one who pushes and shoves most successfully gets to win.

Gulzar’s film was made in 1999, close to a decade ago and watching it today, and then watching Parliament in session last week and then reading all these news pieces about the horse trading and the alleged barter of parliamentarians in 2008, it would lend credence to the quote that the more things change, the more they essentially they remain the same.

Since Hu Tu Tu, other films on a similar subject have been made = most notably recently Aamir Khan’s Rang de Basanti and Hazaron Khwaishen Aise-  all dealing with the same subject and delivering a similar message – that politicians are vile and that the youth are unsullied and pure and broadly sinless.

That conclusion is no longer entirely true unfortunately. Youth may be idealistic as they entirely adulthood but if their seniors are sullied, it does not take too much time for the young people to be sullied too. To give an example, the emergency and the Total Revolution movement of JP brought to the fore front a whole generation of young people into politics – people who upset the hitherto followed caste and class equations in Indian politics. Leaders like Mulayam Singh, Lalu Prasad and many others were products of the student movement offshoots of the JP movement. If they were ever inspiring idealists – even in their youth, that period of their life has been left long behind in shadowy mists. Here and there a Nitish Kumar or an Arun Jaitley might be different but no more.

Take a look at university life today to dispel any remaining myth that the youth of today are honest and idealistic and the grey haired seniors are alone the villains. University life today is not essentially about academics in several places; it is about delinquency of the worst order. Look at Lucknow University, Aligarh Muslim University, Jamia Milia Islamia, Meerut, Agra and Patna Universities for examples.

So why are our movies so clear cut in their solutions – so black and white – young is good and noble – and old is dying and decaying? I guess it is because probably it is nice to throw some light of hope as you end a movie and hold up the youth as symbols of change and metamorphosis even if it is not entirely true. In all the movies cited, Hu Tu Tu, Rang De Basanti and Hazaron Khwaishein Aise, the young people are disgusted by the decadence all around and end up wielding the gun in quasi revolutionary style as if solutions to complex social and moral problems really lay in the barrel of a gun.

So am I some kind of prophet of doom, seeing gloom where others see different? Not really. I see hope; but the thing is I see hope every where- in the old and also in the young. To end with an example; in the recent parliamentary debate, I saw hope in the 80 year old Somnath Chatterjee and I saw hope in the 38 year old Omar Abdullah. Where I did not see hope was in the relatively middle aged 60 year old Prakash Karat, incidentally another product of the emergency era. Perhaps middle age indeed is the fountainhead of cynicism and the period to beware of.

Movie Review: Mission Istaanbul - Male Booty Call

Deepti Lamba — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 13:57:10 EDT

Cleavage!! There's a lot of it on Mission Istaanbul from Belly dancers, a pissed off journalist wife, lots of male cleavage, a wannabe Angelina Jolie and a product placement of thaanda Mountain Dew. Is there any redeeming quality for Mission Istaanbul? Its all about popular conspiracy theories coming true on the 13th Floor of a news channel which is a terrorist front. Its about looking like Matt Damon from Bourne and oh yeah! Its about smooching Jolie's little Indian sister.

There is a pseudo-President Bush suffering from Bushism - saying ~~Man-hole-Singh~~ Manmohan Singh, and not wanting to interfere in the shenanigans of some Indians finding out the truth about you know who being dead in the terrorist circles.

So, the movie isn't low budget, the action scenes are packed but here is what I don't get about the movie. Despite all the high tech talk of computers and all why didn't they use YouTube to let the world know the truth? Then again they had to stretch the movie to three hours. (Speaking of YouTube, the full Mission Istaanbul has already leaked in ten-minute clips, if you'd like to watch it in that painful format.)

Hence, there are a lot of chase scenes through the colorful streets of Istanbul, a love interest specially flying to Turkey to complicate matters further and the Indian ambassador chickening out and letting foreign cops into the Embassy.

After the intermission, the movie takes on a Rambo flavor. Two men fighting against terrorists while the world watches on the sidelines.

The movie is fraught with many loopholes, ugly looking terrorists having sauna baths, bare-chested fights and Abhishek Bachchan shaking his scrumptious booty as a guest appearance. Come to think of it, the only reason one should go to see this movie is to watch some male booty in action. Apart from that the movie has nothing new to offer.

Movie Review: Money Hai To Honey Hai

meetu — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 00:21:40 EDT

The concept "The common man should have style too" is an interesting one to put forth. To strengthen the case, there is an ensemble of interesting characters in Money Hai To Honey Hai. A rich, spoiled brat with business acumen, a fashion designer who cares for the common man, an honest advertising creative head, a fashion model, a popular TV actress, and a loser who has an unbeatable positive attitude. All this is done in a light vein. Unfortunately, ultimately nothing comes of the synergy they could create as a team or for them as individual characters.

You're right, this is too serious an analysis for a movie in this genre and with this look and feel. But, every time I see a good idea blow up in execution, it hurts, and think about it - a comedy that squeezes out the sense of humor in you (believe me, I do have one!)

Of course, the common man here refers to a person with no means to wear labeled brands, and has no sense of fashion. However, if the basic idea were thought through properly, it could have been extrapolated to so many situations where the common man suffers an unnecessary inferiority complex. This complex could be treated with something as simple as a product created just for him and by just being honest with him. Alas, if wishes were horses...

If the elaboration of the story is amateurish, the other departments from screenplay, to dialogues, to their delivery, to the expressions on the actors' faces, to the ambiance created around the actors, to the background music are equally amateurish. It's really a shame that when half an hour is spent in establishing the 6 main characters and 2-3 side characters, in the end it all seems futile. For example, Aftab Shivdasani's character who's creative at coming out with advertising taglines, does nothing spectacular in the end! None of the actors are given anything out of their comfort zone and thus nothing seems more than below average. As we have it, Govinda fans could very well be disappointed too.

I guess we should be grateful to Ganesh Acharya for deciding on limiting usage of Om Puri as a voice over. Otherwise, we know what he can be made to do in slapsticks such as these. But, that doesn't relieve us from Prem Chopra's antics. One can't get everything one wishes for.

Yet, there can be no excuse for keeping him on screen for long spans of time with just one expression on his face. And this happened more than once, where nothing was happening on screen, even the camera wasn't moving! So yeah, some trimming was obviously called for.

There are digs on various characters and issues you would encounter in your day-to-day life - Label designers and their attitude. Family soap operas, the camerawork and sound effects they use and of course, their viewers. Industrialists, the rich and their problems which have seemingly simple solutions. Telemarketers and how they annoy us. Popularity can make the commonest person a TV show host.

I thought the non-jumpy movements given to the actors in the songs were nice, if only for being different. But, the placement of the not-so-good-sounding music is so abrupt that the 'nice' feeling comes too late in the song to register.

As Manoj Bajpai, the guy with the ultimate positive attitude, says when he loses 80 lakhs in a business deal, "I gained 1 crore worth of experience, I'm still in the green with 20 lakhs!", anyone who sees the movie can say, "they gained 1 crore worth of experience of not watching a movie that looks slapsticky and has a cheesy title!"

Kismat Konnection, On and Off Screen.

Sakshi Juneja — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 09:44:02 EDT

Aziz Mirza's on-screen love-meets-fate story, Kismat Konnection, starring the new generation's Jumping Jack aka. Shahid Kapoor and the ever subdued, Ms. Goody Two Shoes aka. Vidya Balan – disappoints miserably. Surely nothing new I am adding here; practically all reviews published seem to be screaming out loud the same stuff.

In terms of storyline, first half is barely bearable and the second half drags on and on and on. Thankfully I watched it in one of those popular lounge-seating-cinemas, so my tusshie didn't bear the brunt and I even managed to catch up on some quality sleep. Acting-wise Shahid Kapoor came across reasonably good; I mean you can't deny that he does a better impression of King Khan than King Khan himself. The other half of the Konnection, Ms. Balan according to me did a so-so jig. The woman seriously needs to display some variety in her role selection process and not repeat the gullible, abla stree kinda-characters.

Overall, Kismat Konnection is more aptly disconnected, predictable and a tad too boring. My advice, skip it.

Now let's move onto a more interesting trivia on off-screen Bollywood Kismat Konnection.

Shahid and Kareena’s last film together (before the break-up) received two thumbs up from all around; the audience, the critics and the box-office. Kareena re-invented herself, whereas Shahid gave his very first mature performance. Needless to say, everyone wished Aditya and Geet to sort things out, have raunchy make-up sex and live happily ever after.

Today however the story is different. Very different.

Both our leading stars have moved on (so they say) and all too quickly replaced each other’s presence with a new set of lovers. Much to the benefit of our gossipy mainstream media, I might add. Kareena adores the much older Saif (and parivaar inclusive) and Shahid seems to be swinging between the tennis star (Sania Mirza) and the “helloooooo Mumbaiiii” lady (Vidya Balan). And while they continue to increase the sale of Bollywood tabloids with their ‘in-love’ antics, their on-screen chemistry (with new partners) seems to lack all luster.

For instance: Kareena and Saif’s very first release and the much-hyped Tashan bombed at the box office and how. So much so lover boy Saifu cried all the way to the producer, Aditya Chopra and Kareena baby was deemed unfit in her size zero image. And while one would think Shahid had the last laugh after being brutally dumped, unfortunately kismat seems to have whacked him once again. His very first release, since the Kareena break up, opposite his rumoured real-life lady love, Vidya Balan – is a definite flop, as the next few days will prove.

So even though their off-screen life with new love in tow may be rocking, their on-screen konnection looks to have fizzled no sooner than it began.

This is not the end.

Here’s another off-screen love story I heard where the outcome has a lot to do with kismat, lucky charm, bad luck and other such related jazz.

Aditya Chopra, the head-honcho behind Yash Raj Films shot to fame with his directorial debut with Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge back in 1995. Since the time he took over the family-run production house from Papa Chopra, it’s been raining money and success.

However the success factor seems to have taken a down turn since his affair with actress Rani Mukherjee and divorce from wife Payal Chopra. If one goes by the popular story doing rounds within the Bollywood fraternity – the ill-faith of most Yash Raj releases at the box-office since the beginning of 2007, has been solely because of Aditya Chopra’s separation from wife Payal.

Apparently before their union (now the validity could be questioned), the Chopras had consulted a few known astrologers and were completely bowled over by the probable enormity of the “luck” factor brought into the Yash Raj household via the Adi-Payal matrimony. On the dark side were also informed of the not-so-good consequence if ever the marriage ended up on the rocks.

So while Aditya and his lady love Ms. Mukherjee go about (discreetly) professing their love with Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic, the weekly box-office tells a different story – Love, okay but magic…zilch.