Desicritics Category: Media: Film - Actors

Chiranjeevi Enters Politics, Promises Change

Aaman Lamba — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 11:16:52 EDT

The Obama spirit has many adherents. Telugu film star announced his much-awaited entry into politics on Sunday in Hyderabad, Andhra Pradesh, promising change and that he would fill the power vacuum in state politics. He asserted he had no enemies in politics. His new party's agenda and name would be announced at a plenary meeting on the 26th of August in Tirupati. The date was chosen to coincide with Mother Teresa's birth anniversary.

Film stars in India have often chosen politics after attaining stardom, or rather, post their creative peak. Tamil Nadu is particularly prone to giving their celluloid heroes a chance at the political hustings, with M G Ramachandran and Jayalalithaa having garnered much political capital out of their earlier careers. The trend is more pronounced in the southern states, and Bollywood stars-turned-politicians have been perceived more as dilettantes in the political scene.

the other political groupings in Andhra Pradesh have been attempting to counter the potential threat in next year's elections from an expected shift towards Chiranjeevi's new party. While the Telugu Desam Party might claim the legacy of the late NT Rama Rao, they are covering their bases by inducting NTR's family members like Hari Krishna, Bala Krishna, and Taraka Ram - themselves film stars. The Congress (I) has enrolled Rajshekar and his wife, Jeevitha, who are film stars.

Chiranjeevi plans to include his own family members in his party. He is still active in films, although not as much as before. In his recent film, Stalin, he plays the eponymous Stalin, in this case an ex-army officer who wants to overcome the apathy prevalent in society by rendering unconditional support to any and all. He retains the adulation of a wide spectrum of fans, and received the Padma Bhushan award in 2006, following which Amitabh Bachchan termed him the 'King of Indian Cinema'. The role of fan clubs has long been recognized as a critical factor in the rise of film star-politicians. Political parties have also funded films that project their agendas and highlight favorable stars. It will be interesting to see if Chiranjeevi will be able to mediate his celebrity status to political success.

Movie Review: Singh Is Kinng

Deepti Lamba — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 06:14:52 EDT

With the movie-Singh Is Kinng making well over $20 million so far, Akshay Kumar is surely the ruling Pasha of Bollywood. With his bashful smile and twinkling eyes Akshay has won the hearts of his fans once again.

The movie lacked depth but rarely are Akshay Kumar movies known to have serious elements in them. That is the beauty of the movie; it was comedy from beginning to end without descending to making fun of a community as was previously done in Bollywood. Take movies like Parosan, Amar Akbar Anthony where the idea of comedy was to exaggerate the characteristics of different communities of India and many a times they were extremely racist.

Singh is Kinng took another route. It highlighted the characteristics of the Sikh community that makes them endearing. Qualities such as being people of their word, having a strong sense of integrity and being large-hearted.

Akshay did a few stunts on his own, looked hot and even Katrina Kaif looked pale before him. In fact Katrina's role was no more than that of a bimbo (supposedly a soon-to-be lawyer but seemed more of a fluff-brained twit) who looked pretty and laughed all through the second half of the movie.

Neha Dupia in fact had a far more significant role to play in the movie and along with Kiron Kher delivered a character portrayal as well as the rest of the cast.

The formula of the movie was predictable but the lightheartedness and aplomb with which actors acted as bindaas Sikhs made the movie a pleasure to watch.

The numbers were foot tapping and the song with Snoop Dogg awesome. Two thumbs up for the movie and a definite watch with kids.

Rakhi Sawant - My Big Break Is Breaking Me Up

Sakshi Juneja — Fri, 8 Aug 2008 09:25:09 EDT

Sakshi is a big Rakhi Sawant fan – The only line people seem to come up with whenever handed with the responsibility of introducing me to a new set of people. I can’t really blame them though. Ever since I started dedicating wholesome posts in honour of Bollywood’s most famous Item Girl, my blog’s popularity jumped higher with every controversy she entertained.

Traffic, links, feed counts…you name it, “Rakhi Sawant’s unofficial PR agent of the virtual world” became my by-line. And I lapped it up every single time, never feeling that it’s gotten too much.

Until now that is. For quite sometime, I have been dabbling with the idea of a career change. Not that my current profession provides me any less opportunities; working in a family-owned business has major perks and believe me, I have exploited each to the very maximum. But I guess I have stretched myself a bit too far – I've spent five years in a field that is interesting but not stimulating enough, for me that is. Since I don’t plan on spending the rest of my (workable) life caught up in the same rut, I have decided its time I take blogging rather more seriously than just a much-loved hobby.

Cutting a long story short, since I have put myself out in the market, freelance offers have been pouring in. Unfortunately though, quantity is all I have been getting (and no, I am not referring to the paycheck). But as they say, “sabar ka phal meetha hota hai” - Couple of weeks ago an editor texted me for an assignment which, he claimed, only I could truly justify.

He asked me to write a feature (running to several thousand words, to be accompanied by a high couture photo shoot – you know the works) for his high-profile fashion and lifestyle magazine on a Bollywood celebrity. No brownie points for guessing who he wanted me to write on – Rakhi Sawant it was. Now, Rakhi isn't part of the magazine's usual 'profile', but hats off to this editor who wanted to get something new and daring in.

To say that I was excited is to the say the least – not only was I getting to write about someone I truly admired for her gutsy and in-your-face attitude (to her profession and life in general), I was also still very much within familiar territory.

Or so I thought.

Dream ends, nightmare begins

The past two weeks have been unbelievably frustrating. Getting through to her has seemed like an endless series of phone calls that were just never answered, SMSes that just weren’t replied to (or understood?) and emails that were treated with little more concern than you treat your spam folder. For several days, I felt like I was part of a bad Bollywood love song, chasing my elusive heroine around the banyan tree!

Then, when I finally managed to get in touch with the lady herself, she promptly threw me back into the pool of sharks – that’s right, she asked me to speak to her manager. To be fair however, that phone call did set the ball rolling. In a manner of speaking. Although I do have an interview date with her now, I’m still hoping they see the light regarding arranging a photoshoot soon.

It’s really disheartening if you think about it – my first big assignment, on someone I feel so strongly about and all the discouragements that can possibly arise, have come my way. Welcome to the real world, or rather more aptly, the glamorous world of the Hindi film industry. Maybe I should ask Rakhi for tips on surviving.

Movie Review: Kuselan

Blokesablogin — Sun, 3 Aug 2008 06:26:08 EDT

My two sons are great fans of Rajnikanth, the Tamil Superstar. To tell you the truth, I have a weak spot for his "style" myself! When Shivaji was released some months back, we went around for a week aping his "style"! With equal enthusiasm, we made it a huge family affair with cousins and all to watch Kuselan, the latest offering with Rajni in it.

Thirty minutes into the film is when we realized that he was a "special appearance" and not the actual lead role. What a let down! The first 30 minutes had not even a photo of Rajni! So friends, if you are a die hard Rajni fan, please do not go to the movies trusting him to make his appearance any time soon. Then you can anticipate his "arrival".

The movie tells the touching story of Sudama and Krishna from the Srimad Bhagavatham (Kuchelopakyaanam) in a modern context. It is also a semi-biography that traces the origins of Rajnikanth's humble beginnings before he made it big in the film industry.

Our protagonist is a humble barber who wants a loan without giving a bribe. Obviously, in 21st century India that is as common as India winning an Olympic gold! He lives a simple and contented life with his wife and three children who in return ask nothing much of him.

The rustic village atmosphere is shattered by the arrival of a huge film crew including the super star. People in the village who know that the barber was childhood friends with the super star urge him to meet him and get them favors. Balu (Balakrishnan - do not miss out on the name!), the barber, refuses. Then they believe him to have spun tales out of thin air.

At this juncture I thought the film would be about micro credit financing as this barber could have greatly benefited from such a scheme. I hope those micro credit fellows will not turn corrupt like the rest of the lot. I digress.

The shooting is done and the local school invites the superstar to address them. There, our protagonist stand behind to see his friend speak. The friend narrates the incidents of his life that included the barber and wished that he were there to share in his success.

The barber leaves the crowd silently only to find the super star at his doorstep! The last scene was most touching and I was reminded of the Krishna-Sudama episode. The friends share a piece of peanut brittle (chikki) and the super star positions himself as the guardian for all his friend's children.

Apart from a very peppy number by Daler Mehndi, the rest are hard to even remember. The costumes for the songs were amazing but the songs were totally unnecessary and unwarranted in the film. Nayantara as Rajni's co-star was far from any kind of acting except for showing off her bod.

The story of Sudama (Kuchela) was one of many favorites as a child. To see it brought to the silver screen was a delightful experience. Some of our cousins, aunt, and uncle who were visiting us couldn't believe the fan following in America!

Movie Review: Mission Istaanbul - Male Booty Call

Deepti Lamba — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 13:57:10 EDT

Cleavage!! There's a lot of it on Mission Istaanbul from Belly dancers, a pissed off journalist wife, lots of male cleavage, a wannabe Angelina Jolie and a product placement of thaanda Mountain Dew. Is there any redeeming quality for Mission Istaanbul? Its all about popular conspiracy theories coming true on the 13th Floor of a news channel which is a terrorist front. Its about looking like Matt Damon from Bourne and oh yeah! Its about smooching Jolie's little Indian sister.

There is a pseudo-President Bush suffering from Bushism - saying ~~Man-hole-Singh~~ Manmohan Singh, and not wanting to interfere in the shenanigans of some Indians finding out the truth about you know who being dead in the terrorist circles.

So, the movie isn't low budget, the action scenes are packed but here is what I don't get about the movie. Despite all the high tech talk of computers and all why didn't they use YouTube to let the world know the truth? Then again they had to stretch the movie to three hours. (Speaking of YouTube, the full Mission Istaanbul has already leaked in ten-minute clips, if you'd like to watch it in that painful format.)

Hence, there are a lot of chase scenes through the colorful streets of Istanbul, a love interest specially flying to Turkey to complicate matters further and the Indian ambassador chickening out and letting foreign cops into the Embassy.

After the intermission, the movie takes on a Rambo flavor. Two men fighting against terrorists while the world watches on the sidelines.

The movie is fraught with many loopholes, ugly looking terrorists having sauna baths, bare-chested fights and Abhishek Bachchan shaking his scrumptious booty as a guest appearance. Come to think of it, the only reason one should go to see this movie is to watch some male booty in action. Apart from that the movie has nothing new to offer.

Movie Review: The X-Files: I Want To Believe

Aaman Lamba — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 11:20:43 EDT

The X-Philes might not have been waiting breathlessly for a renewed fix of the once exciting series, wishing to relive the excitement of the first movie feature, yet, they surely had higher expectations from the second - expectations that have been barely met in what might have failed even as a direct to video release.

In The X-Files: I Want To Believe, both Fox Mulder and Dana Scully appear far more jaded and disinterested than they should be, even after all these years in the wilderness. Mulder is still searching for answers and meaning while Scully has decided that Our Lady of Sorrows offers better solace than the unwanted FBI unit she gave much of herself to. They spend much time not quite speaking to each other, and while the same might have been true on the television series, a younger, driven Mulder meant the story was moved along despite, or rather, because of their dysfunctional relationship. Their relationship in the film has moved way beyond the occasional pat on the back to a surreptitious living together, which comes as a real surprise.

Chris Carter prefers to explore the characters' motivations more in this film than the trademark unknowables that we might have expected. It seems at times a cross between a police procedural and a medical thriller than a fast-paced supernatural adventure. The tension is still there, though, and this film might pick up a larger following once it is out on DVD, and with much aficionado-driven analysis.

Without giving away too much of the story, it does not revolve around aliens, and does not go too mystic. Even so, the concept is not quite ordinary, yet one can see the resolution a long while before it actually arrives. The journey is as interesting as the end, though, and the snowy hills of Virginia cover more secrets than just secret medical experiments and rabid dogs. The power of the film lies in the secret sharers rather than the secrets they share.

Additional subplots seem pointless, like the treatment of 'difficult' patients in the healthcare system by passing them off to another provider, responded to by Dr. Scully with the highly advanced technique known as Googling. The 'new' Mulder/Scully duo switch roles, with Dakota Whitney (Amanda Peet) wanting to believe and Mosley Drummy (Xzibit) offering the jaded counterview. The FBI needs to bring a defrocked pedophile priest in because of his supposed psychic abilities rather than a profiler. The nature of his involvement in the larger plot is part of the mystery, but I can say that his history gives us an excellent scene between ASAC Whitney and Father Joe on the nature of self-loathing and forgiveness.

The movie, in short, is a mixed bag of classic X-Files shenanigans and adult emo drama. It works, but only if you're willing to let go of your expectations and ten years of waiting. If you want to believe, in short.

Kismat Konnection, On and Off Screen.

Sakshi Juneja — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 09:44:02 EDT

Aziz Mirza's on-screen love-meets-fate story, Kismat Konnection, starring the new generation's Jumping Jack aka. Shahid Kapoor and the ever subdued, Ms. Goody Two Shoes aka. Vidya Balan – disappoints miserably. Surely nothing new I am adding here; practically all reviews published seem to be screaming out loud the same stuff.

In terms of storyline, first half is barely bearable and the second half drags on and on and on. Thankfully I watched it in one of those popular lounge-seating-cinemas, so my tusshie didn't bear the brunt and I even managed to catch up on some quality sleep. Acting-wise Shahid Kapoor came across reasonably good; I mean you can't deny that he does a better impression of King Khan than King Khan himself. The other half of the Konnection, Ms. Balan according to me did a so-so jig. The woman seriously needs to display some variety in her role selection process and not repeat the gullible, abla stree kinda-characters.

Overall, Kismat Konnection is more aptly disconnected, predictable and a tad too boring. My advice, skip it.

Now let's move onto a more interesting trivia on off-screen Bollywood Kismat Konnection.

Shahid and Kareena’s last film together (before the break-up) received two thumbs up from all around; the audience, the critics and the box-office. Kareena re-invented herself, whereas Shahid gave his very first mature performance. Needless to say, everyone wished Aditya and Geet to sort things out, have raunchy make-up sex and live happily ever after.

Today however the story is different. Very different.

Both our leading stars have moved on (so they say) and all too quickly replaced each other’s presence with a new set of lovers. Much to the benefit of our gossipy mainstream media, I might add. Kareena adores the much older Saif (and parivaar inclusive) and Shahid seems to be swinging between the tennis star (Sania Mirza) and the “helloooooo Mumbaiiii” lady (Vidya Balan). And while they continue to increase the sale of Bollywood tabloids with their ‘in-love’ antics, their on-screen chemistry (with new partners) seems to lack all luster.

For instance: Kareena and Saif’s very first release and the much-hyped Tashan bombed at the box office and how. So much so lover boy Saifu cried all the way to the producer, Aditya Chopra and Kareena baby was deemed unfit in her size zero image. And while one would think Shahid had the last laugh after being brutally dumped, unfortunately kismat seems to have whacked him once again. His very first release, since the Kareena break up, opposite his rumoured real-life lady love, Vidya Balan – is a definite flop, as the next few days will prove.

So even though their off-screen life with new love in tow may be rocking, their on-screen konnection looks to have fizzled no sooner than it began.

This is not the end.

Here’s another off-screen love story I heard where the outcome has a lot to do with kismat, lucky charm, bad luck and other such related jazz.

Aditya Chopra, the head-honcho behind Yash Raj Films shot to fame with his directorial debut with Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge back in 1995. Since the time he took over the family-run production house from Papa Chopra, it’s been raining money and success.

However the success factor seems to have taken a down turn since his affair with actress Rani Mukherjee and divorce from wife Payal Chopra. If one goes by the popular story doing rounds within the Bollywood fraternity – the ill-faith of most Yash Raj releases at the box-office since the beginning of 2007, has been solely because of Aditya Chopra’s separation from wife Payal.

Apparently before their union (now the validity could be questioned), the Chopras had consulted a few known astrologers and were completely bowled over by the probable enormity of the “luck” factor brought into the Yash Raj household via the Adi-Payal matrimony. On the dark side were also informed of the not-so-good consequence if ever the marriage ended up on the rocks.

So while Aditya and his lady love Ms. Mukherjee go about (discreetly) professing their love with Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic, the weekly box-office tells a different story – Love, okay but magic…zilch.

When Kiran Met Karen : Masterpiece or Titillation Vehicle?

Sakshi Juneja — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:46:49 EDT

It is interesting to watch recent lesbian-themed films with an Indian context. To be precise, watching the (only) two lesbian-themed films from mainstream Hindi cinema was an amusing experience, at least for me. I’m referring to Deepa Mehta’s Fire (1998), and blink-and-you-missed-it, Karan Razdan's Girlfriend (2004). Of course, the two films differed widely in terms of storyline, direction, and other production aspects. The acting was another story altogether.

However the common thread between the two is this: Both films needed a reason for lesbianism. Homosexuality had to be explained and given a valid raison d’etre: the lead characters of both films were abused, sexually and emotionally, by members of the opposite sex, therefore they turned to other women for ‘solace’.

The latest entrant in the Desi lesbian film circuit is Manan Katohora, with When Kiran Met Karen (WKMK), with newbies Chriselle Almeida and Kelli Holsopple playing the respective lead characters. My inbox has been flooded with mails titled, subtitled and signed off with JMD (Jai Mata Di)-invoking PR for the film. If you are a member of those International filmy Yahoo! Groups you’ll know what I’m talking about.

For the dummies, however, here’s a brief on WKMK.

The plot revolves around a popular Bollywood actress, who comes to New York. At her hotel she organizes for a press conference. This is where she meets a lesbian journalist. And the drama begins from here on.

The question is, whether the film will live up to the hype it has been creating, at least, in the American market. From whatever I have seen, this is what I think:

1. The good news is the storyline seems to deal with lesbianism as a normal way of life (at least Karen is an out lesbian) and focuses on bi-racial relationships.

2. The acting doesn't come across all that appealing. No offense, I understand it’s a first-time effort for most of the star cast and I also understand the director’s plight. He did have two ‘known’ faces, namely Perizaad Zorabian and Purva Bedi, bail out on him in the last minute. Hence Chriselle Almeida as Kiran.

3. The direction looked amateurish. But then a two-and-half-minute long promo video shouldn’t really be the judging platform either.

In an interview, Katohora mentions that the film is meant to bring out the nuances of coming out and the hypocrisy surrounding alternate sexuality. I quote:

“I think the movie will raise some good questions. How people have such shallow thinking. How we shouldn’t have a one track mind.”

Clearly the director has got his politics right, and, if we’re lucky, WKMK might just end up being a decent watch without too many stereotypes. All I hope is -

That we allow the film to be screened in our local theatres

That we don’t damn this film just because it doesn’t harp on the abala bharitya naari crap or turn out to be a semi-porn flick meant purely to titillate the (male) audience – something that Fire and Girlfriend, respectively, had done.

Here's a look at one of the promotional music videos from the film

Bollywood Blogging, Welcome Salman Bhai

Sakshi Juneja — Fri, 23 May 2008 09:03:02 EDT

After Aamir Khan and Amitabh Bachchan took on blogging, the other inhabitants of B-Town have woken up to the power of writing on the web.

Salman Khan will blog on a Blogspot website run at Sony Entertainment, the producers of the reality television show Dus Ka Dum. Sallu has already posted two blogs on Dus Ka Dum that too from Australia, where he is shooting at the moment. [Link: Mid-Day]

Yes, you heard it right, folks! Apna Sallu has entered the nasty world of Hindi Film Industry blogging. Agreed, it is nothing more than strategic PR move i.e. publicity for the upcoming reality show, Dus Ka Dum on Sony Television. But then a similar motive is what got the likes of Aamir Khan and Big B entering the blogging scene as well. And look, today they are the prime sources of Bollywood Bitching for our Page 3 writers.

Similarly in Salman Khan’s case, the possibilities are endless. After all, he is Bollywood’s foremost bad boy for no reason. Think about it – The endless John Abraham spanking (finally someone to share my responsibility), mixing it with potshots at Vivek Oberoi, his recent tussle with (the ever sexy) Akshay Kumar. Also if you wish hard enough, then maybe, just a maybe a little thrashing of his Ex and now Mrs. Ash. And adding to all of the above, Salman’s in-your-face attitude and wacky sense of humour, believe me you, blog posts are bound to get spicier.

With such wholesome fodder insight, needless to say that I am ecstatic. And so will be countless Salman Bhai fans and other Bollywood-roaches.

Therefore as an adamant Bollywood Fan, I can proudly state: I have seen it all. And if I drop dead now, I would depart with a content heart. Err…but then again, I might as well wait for the entertainment industry’s motor mouth aka. Ms. Rakhi Sawant to join our gang as well.

Ah! The joys of blissful thinking, seriously where would we be without it?

Weight A Minute!

Aditi Nadkarni — Tue, 13 May 2008 02:50:26 EDT

Every time I am in India I am left considerably shaken by people's bluntness, or should I be blunt as well and call it rudeness? The one issue where a law needs to be passed enabling us to punch the guilty in the face is a "weighty" one. People who upon seeing you make completely out of line assessments about weight and size just weren't slapped enough by their parents as children and hence we should be able to rectify their limiting deficiency. The only reason these people move about unharmed is because it is illegal to assault them. Yes, that is how much I am disturbed by people's lack of respect for basic social propriety.

There are so many good things we are taught as kids: "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it", "Think before you speak", "Do unto others only as you wish done to you". And yet you have broad-boned, buxom aunties going about telling girls half their size that they look "chubby".

In college, at five feet seven I was taller than most guys in my class and at a hundred and thirty pounds, nowhere near "fat". Yet my nickname like that of many other girls was "Moti", a title which can be applied to you in Bombay if you so much as have enough boobs to fill in a C-cup. Somehow I never felt the need to call a guy "Shortie!" and wonder how many egos would've been wounded had I been the one letting go of my civility. Now at 28, Orkut and Facebook have their blessings and the curses that come with those, cause let us face it, nothing is ever free in life. These friendly communities have welcomed back into my life people from school and college and housing societies. Even as someone who is not exactly shitting their pants about the few extra pounds I realize with a sinking feeling what a comfort it was to not have them and their disparaging comments surrounding me for all these years. Moreover, the socially sterile life in the United States makes the best of us increasingly vulnerable to such comments.

We are so pampered In Uncle Sam's house by the overtly polite small talk and limited-to-none interactions with desi aunties that a simple, harmless, maybe even affectionate and ever so common "Aye Moti!" knocks the wind out of us women especially when coming from other women, who by virtue of age, themselves have grown chunkier. I was considerably shocked when a classmate who I hadn't seen since the fourth grade told me I looked plumper than she remembered me. Surely she didn't expect me to stay the same size I was at age ten!

I was even told in college amidst raised-eyebrows by some girls that my bosom area was "rather excessive". Many a guy later testified that there was no such thing as "excessive breasts". All breast, a male friend told me with conviction, is vital. The men get dealt the slightly politer and way more subtle "So looks like the cheese has finally climbed to your cheeks" or "You look very healthy now (wink wink)". I am sure, however, that men have their own share of appearance related issues what with hair-loss being pointed out publicly and Ayurvedic hair oils recommended with gusto in India.

I had a friend who went to India soon after having delivered twins. She had hoped to relax, put her feet up, eat some good ol' Indian food and return rejuvenated having finally doused relentless questions about her fertility. She returned depressed. She had been invited to several homes as is common during an India visit. There were puris and chaats and batata vadas. And then to ration her servings were the comments about the weight she had put on during childbirth. She managed not to dig into a single delicious morsel of all that food and came back resenting her appearance. What postnatal depression couldn't do, India managed.

As much as the West is criticized for their glorification of anorexic beauties, at least when I go to a party I don't get an immediate weight appraisal unless of course there is that one odd desi in the crowd. People don't consider discussions about thunder thighs as "elevator talk" here. Women especially are so paranoid about the tables being turned on them that will not venture into discussions about weight-loss/ gain etc unless you are taking a Weight Watchers' workshop together.

Recently, Kareena Kapoor's significantly diminished waistline did not manage to resuscitate a lukewarm Bollywood script in Tashan. Whats more, her bony shoulders, withered hips coupled with an uncharacteristically long face highlighted by headlong, oblique camera shots have actually gone the other way and provoked disapproving gasps from the Indian audiences. It is funny and somewhat ironic to hear some people criticize an actress for her extreme weight-loss knowing that they had once proclaimed the bony, petite fair girl as the college hottie all those years ago.

I ran into an old classmate at the crowded InOrbit mall during my last visit to India. Her figure had been padded in not so great areas over the ten years that we had been out of touch.

"Hey you've look so different now!" she exclaimed after some chit-chat and just as I silently prayed that she was referring to my wonderful new hair color added quite unnecessarily, "So how much do you weigh now?"

"38D" I replied with a wink and in the glow of her shocked look, all was right with the world.