Desicritics Category: Culture: Pets - Cats

A Cat Story

Zainub Razvi — Sun, 11 May 2008 14:27:19 EDT

I have to admit that I wasn't always a pet lover. But ever since my youngest sister Saadia nurtured a young kitten which she, in my opinion, somewhat inappropriately called 'Pinky', I have steadily begun to shift to the other camp.

Pinky and I had something of a bond. In those ghastly days when I was enrolled in a dentistry program on my mother’s insistence, she used to sit in my lap in the mornings as I waited to catch the bus. I enjoyed her company; it was a nice distraction from thinking about the horrible day that awaited me at college. And then when I returned in the afternoons, she was again the first to greet me, wrapping around me as I walked in tired.

Some times I would be very annoyed by her unasked for affection, and would barely miss trampling on her in my preoccupation. But she was so persistent that she kept trying and inevitably, I fell in love with her too. She was (and still is) far too cute for anyone to not fall in love with, unless of course you're allergic to cats, which my mom and my other younger sister think they are. (I say think here because none of them have ever had a medical test to prove their claims, instead just sighting their overbearing fear of cats as an indication of their allergy, something I refuse to buy into.)

Ever since, my self, Saadia and my dad, the three people in our household that were in the opposite camp, pampered Pinky and others cats as much as we could. In addition to Pinky, Tommy and a host of other neighborhood cats had all came and almost permanently settled in our house.

All three of us, meaning my self, my dad and of course my sister, took care of them. I would secretly give them milk in the afternoons because I knew my mother would be furious if she found out. My dad on the other hand had no one to fear so he actually bought the cats custom made fat from the butchers every time he went to them to get supplies for the house. Saadia too, increasingly grew indifferent to my mother’s advice to “stay away from the cats”. She’d collect bones at every meal’s conclusion and ceremoniously call the cats and feed them. She didn’t stop here, occasionally even investing her pocket money on giving the cats treats by buying them expensive cat food.

In this way, the three of us all pampered and spoiled the cats in our own distinctive ways, but because Saadia took the initiative, they were always “officially” her cats and she’d take great pride in introducing them as such whenever curious young guests arrived.

When I moved over to my in-laws place this January I had never imagined that I'd miss these cats so much. I knew I was going to miss them a little bit, but this much, I didn't think it was possible. After all, I had a memories that I was leaving behind, in comparison with those I thought I’d barely remember the cats.

I told my self I could find new cats, every Karachi neighborhood has stray cats and I could pet one of them just like Saadia did. If not that, I could in the least strike out an adoption deal with Saadia whenever Pinky gives birth to her first liter (ever since we figured out Pinky had all grown up and was looking for a mate, we had been spying on every Tom cat in the neighborhood like anxious parents keeping a look out on children’s girl or boyfriends!)

But all this planning was dealt a blow when I discovered that my mother in law (like my mom) wasn’t too fond of having pets. I thought I’d get over it, but I ended up missing the pet element in my life a fair bit.

And I realized just how much I missed them every time I came back to my parent's place to visit. On my last visit a couple of week ago I finally got to see the three adorable kittens Pinky recently gave birth to. Saadia has somehow shed her tendency to name her pets absurdly and this time has called them Teddy, Daisy and Lilly.

They all resemble little tufts of black and white wool, running precariously around us and their mother. I was quite surprised to see that I was reacting in much the same manner as I would in the event of a human being giving birth, asking the same traditional questions (Does the baby look more like the mother or the father? Is the baby healthy or does he or she look weak?) but nevertheless feeling slightly jealous that my sister knew the answers and I could only guess.

Even Saadia hasn’t figured out the exact identity of the father though. She claims she has narrowed down the possibilities to one of two neighborhood Tom cats going by the fur colour of the new-borns but I’m not too sure of her calculations. What I am sure of though is that I want the cat element back in my life. Seeing my sister go on and on about her adorable cats, now up to a glorious five in total, including Pinky, her kittens Teddy, Daisy and Lilly and Tommy the second (the first once, may his soul rest in peace, died of unknown causes last summer), has made me sure that I cannot afford to lag behind in the race.

And as luck would have it, only the other day my husband and I discovered this feeble little creature in our back yard, completely out of the blue. For one whole day she did nothing but laze around in our yard, crying around as if she was in pain. Every time we try and went close to her though, she’d threaten, screeching and giving a complete picture of all her teeth, not even changing her attitude after she was given milk and fresh raw chicken meat to devour. We guessed as much that she had a semi-injured leg which reduced her mobility and that she was hungry, but we’re still trying to figure out why she’s so unfriendly. I understand she might have felt vulnerable at first, but surely if some one’s giving you food, drink and genuinely trying to be nice, this ought to be enough to remove any initial doubts. I couldn’t get my self to understand what this cat was thinking about.

Then I suddenly realized I was making a crucial presumption. All the cats I had encountered closely until now were those already tamed by my sister, and were hence quite comfortable around humans. This was a stray cat I was dealing with, who probably doesn’t like humans a lot to begin with. It was here that I realized that if I was to convert this cat, I’d have to make all the hard yards that my sister probably did in the first place. I had to convince this little fellow to allow me to be “frands” with her and only then I can teach her all the other pet stuff (beginning with some manners, like you don’t poo straight in front of the backyard’s door so that the entire back portion of the house starts smelling yucky!).

Another big and pleasant discovery I’ve made in this entire cat story is that my mom-in-law isn’t entirely averse to cats; in fact she told me the other day a stray cat’s four generations gave birth to their litters in her old home in Sharjah. She’s only uncomfortable with the idea of them strolling around freely inside the house. That’s something that can be perfectly worked inside with, I thought to my self.

Now all I need to do is win this cat over with the help of my more experienced sister’s cat parenting tips, teach her how to poo nicely and always stay out of the house, and viola, I’ll have a full fledge pet! Isn’t this totally wonderful?

PS: I also have to think of a name for it, suggestions most welcome. I don’t have a picture of her with me right now, but as a guide, she’s not as cute as Pinky, although they’re both the same colour. My cat has slightly more grey spots then Pinky and much bigger whiskers, which is why I’m thinking of calling it Whisky, but I know that sounds terrible, so better suggestions are most, most welcome.

Rough Kitty Love

Deepti Lamba — Fri, 9 May 2008 14:11:35 EDT

There all kinds of bites- love bites, food bites and then we have the insect bites!! Nothing like that itchy sensation that demands a scratch. I can manage ant bites, bee sting, mosquito bites even those caused by big fat black bumble bees but not by cat fleas.

Cat Flea bites are the worst and my acquaintance with them happened when we got Zoey and became worse with Kensei. Having kept dogs all my life I was familiar with tics and regular fleas even cow fleas but not these little buggers!!

It is painful and the itch never goes! Well, only Lactocalamine and cold water helps till one absentmindedly scratches that area again and viola! the itchy and scratchy show begins all over again. These little monstrosities actually leave a trail of devastation behind – the bite marks actually follow a pattern. Its as if the little fleas actually dip into the skin while taking a leisurely stroll over the body.

Many a times it’s a line of four five bites with little bumps and a tiny dot in the middle. The pain felt from a cat flea bite drive cat lovers mad. And when it finally sinks in that the love of your life is suffering from mange the household is turned upside down.

Every gawd damn thing has to be fumigated- the carpets, the furniture, the linen and even the clothes in the cupboards. Yeah, as it happens that little nasties can live in clothes as well. So don’t go around leaving your clothes on the bed if the cat happens to sleep on the bed or forget to wash the clothes you had been wearing while the war was being waged against you on your own body.

Everything and I mean everything has to be washed in hot soapy water, add a little Dettol just to be sure. But while doing this remember to give the little kitty a bath as well. Not a good proposition, I know, but it has to be done and remember the evil-lets may try to jump ship as it happened during one such baths and had me hopping. The flea didn’t drop but deliberately jumped ship which was me!!

And the mad dance began – cats yowling and me screeching in pain and jiggling like a crackhead bellydancer. Not amusing believe me, not at all.

What came to our rescue before the insidious dacoits terrorized our tots? This ingenious little thing called Advantage. Its damn expensive – the American one is for about fourteen hundred and the German one is for about eighteen hundred. Lot of money but it buys sanity for four to six months for both for the cats and the owners.

Don’t let any of the pet shop owners palm off powders for the cats. Felines love to lick and they merely lick the poison in. What works is putting drops of Advantage on the base of their tail and neck and that’s the nuking of the little pests.

But all in all, the damage has been done to me. A single bite from any kind of insect has me petrified. I scratch and think the worst- check the bite, check my kids little bodies, scold my little munchkins who wave their little tails at me and rue the day I fell in love with felines and found myself besieged by unwelcome guests barely visible by the naked eyes.

Kitty Politics At Home

Deepti Lamba — Thu, 6 Mar 2008 07:41:38 EST

We have two cats - Zoey and Kensei. Zoey is a Turkish Angora and Kensei - well, he is prettier than Zoey but we love them equally. Kitty politics always simmer within our four walls. Since we got Zoey when she was barely a month a old she naturally assumed me to be her surrogate mother. We adopted Kensei when he was four months old and five months after Zoey's arrival at the Lamba residence.

Zoey is very possessive about me. She hates it when Kensei demands my attention. They had a nasty fight on my lap recently for a few seconds that seemed to last a life time. I went loco thinking of ripped bloody thighs and tetanus shot at the Emergency Ward.

But being good natured they broke up, gave each other the standoff look and ran after each other around the house. Kensei like Zoey had been sick when we got him from the pet shop. Initially Zoey hated him, she'd hiss and snarl when he made overtures towards her but as his condition deteriorated Zoey began to follow Kensei around.

I realized her concern when I gave Kensei a bath after he had soiled himself badly. He squirmed and wriggled but I was ruthless and quick; cleaning kitty bums has to be a super fast affair.

He made all kinds of nasty sounds. I grabbed a towel and wrapped him, turned and nearly fell over Zoey who was silently sitting behind me all the while.

She worried over Kensei, bumped his nose and sat by his side while he recuperated. It took Kensei a week to get well but once he regained his appetite, put some weight back on the wars began again but this time the fights had a mock characteristic.

They tussled over each other, grabbed each other by the neck but nary a snarl or hiss.

Zoey continues to be the alpha female even though Kensei in a matter of months has become twice her size. Kensei tries to get my attention when Zoey is asleep or else there is hell to pay. Initially we both are give the cold treatment for being 'unfaithful' and then he gets beaten up.

Cats in many ways are like dogs. They both wait by the door when Aaman's car pulls into the driveway. If a family member falls sick the cats offer comfort and like dogs they are always hungry.

What makes them different from dogs? They love to watch television, sit on my laptop keys, they love to climb into all kinds of places I have a tough time getting them down from and their nocturnal habits cause a lot of crashes around the house which used to make us jump in our beds but not any more and best of all they don't slobber.

Zoey Gets An Impromptu Bath

Deepti Lamba — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 00:45:49 EST

It was about seven in the morning when I heard three loud splashes. It sounded as if someone was splashing in the water trough in our back yard. Splashes? Water trough? Then I heard a loud Meowwww. Zoey had fallen in the water trough!! I ran out into the backyard and pulled the desperate cat out of water. Her claws were out and she grabbed my sleeve. I winced and grabbed one of my fluffy towels that were hanging on the clothes line. Wrapped her in it, took her in and realized she was all muddy. The water was dirty. She squirmed and I grabbed her shampoo. It was time to add insult to injury.

She kept wriggling as I took her to the bathroom. Opened the cap of cat shampoo but the shampoo wouldn’t flow.

The mouth of the bottle needed to pricked open with a sharp pointed object as small as a safety pin. Morons!! Anyone with a lick of sense knows that when an animal is cornered for a bath the damn shampoo bottles should be owner friendly. But no! That shampoo bottle would have taken an hour to open.

Zoey squirmed out of my hands and skated around the bathroom. I skidded after her.

Come back here! Zoey Lamba!! I am warning you.

When the kids don’t take my threats seriously why would the cat?

I looked around desperately and decided to give her a bath with my Body Shop Shampoo. Flipped open the lid , let the liquid slide into my scratched palm and then stalked the irate cat.

Ten minutes past she was no longer the hot missile zipping around but a drenched cat looking for a place to lick herself clean albeit miserably. I grabbed her and rubbed the shampoo in.

She wriggled, she grabbed me in a death vice and howled.

Zoey!! No! don’t you dare! That hurt. You stupid, dumb cat!

I cussed in pain and she meowed.

I turned the tap – Icy cold water. Her little white body stiffened. I called myself – a callous bitch.

Turned the other tap and scalding hot water burned my hand; I called myself a lousy buffoon.

With the lukewarm water splattering into the bucket I decided there was only one thing to do – drop her in the bucket of water.

Zoey was in for a second and before I could hold her down she was out again.

And the game began again and my cussing was ruder.

Five minutes later she was in the bucket –scrambling, meowing, eyes bulging, fur standing at its end and hating me with all her feline heart.

The shampoo refused to come out of her fur (obviously pet shampoo is better) and we had a nasty battle between us.

We both had our wounds to tend to once the bath was over; she with a wounded pride and I with nasty scratches.

I wrapped her in another warm fluffy towel and tried to dry her.

She trembled and let me dry her for a bit and then jumped off and hid in her favorite dirty corner.

I got a dirty look as if to say it was all my fault.

And I let her be.

Maybe a few kitty treats would have me back in her good books. But cats like elephants don’t forget. It will be sometime before she lets me become her favorite person once again.

The Ashera - The Latest in Indulgence

Kim — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 09:57:16 EDT

After Uma's post on Vodka with a dash of Diamonds I was left wondering what the next flagrantly expensive "in" thing would be.

I seem to have found an answer of sorts. But this time, its Alive. Its the latest - Lifestyle Pets. Although its not as expensive as the vodka and it lasts longer!

These aren't your run of the mill pet cats.

Its the ASHERA (please note the name is trade-marked) The worlds rarest and most exotic domestic cat. (so they say)

The Ashera is priced at $22,000, plus any applicable sales taxes and is due at time of order. Generally, the delivery date from receipt of payment is 9-12 months. However, for those customers who simply can’t wait to own an Ashera, a few selected kittens are available earlier for an additional cost of $6,000. All Ashera kittens are provided with a Certificate of Authenticity that will include an image of each kitten's DNA “fingerprint”.

Wait, it gets better :
All Ashera kittens are hand delivered to their new owners and hand carried on the transporting aircraft by a Lifestyle Pets representative. Total cost of delivery within the United States is approximately $1,500; outside of the USA they will quote you by location.

Included with the purchase of your Ashera kitten are the following:
* Complete and updated vaccinations through delivery
* Mandatory spaying or neutering
* Microchip Identifier implant
* One year of premium veterinary health insurance through Pets Best (USA customers only)
* Airline certified electronic climate controlled cat transporter
* Veterinary Health Certificate (required for travel)
* One set of nail caps already applied (these are vinyl nail caps applied to your kitten's claws that effectively cover the claws so no damage occurs to furniture, etc.)
Starter Pack (includes premium kitten food, additional nail caps, cat toys and other kitten sundries)
* One year guarantee (see purchase agreement for terms and conditions)
* 10 Year consultation access to Dr. Roland Tripp, internationally recognized animal behaviorist.

What's so special about these cats you may ask : They have been (bred and genetically) developed by blending exotic bloodlines of the African Serval and the Asian Leopard cat with the domestic cat. The cat weighs upto 14 kilos they are specially bred to have Leopard spots on their body and stripes on their limbs.

As an additional service, they have even introduced a limited payment plan to facilitate the purchase of an ASHERA kitten.

My concerns :

What happens to the kittens that don't come out with their stripes and spots in the advertised places? People aren't going to pay 22,000$ for those!

Whatever they may claim, these cats are bred from wild felines. They grow upto the size of 14 kilos/30 pounds. How safe can it be to have them around, especially with children? Some may argue that they grow to the same size and weight of large breed dogs, but these cats have a much closer link to their leopard forefathers.

They are currently developing a new breed of a very small dog. Wonder how much that would cost!

You can sign up for their newsletter on the site. I have, I definitely wanna know, what's next! Simple curiosity, I'm re-discovering that from my own cat (she's a naturally conceived mixed breed)