Desicritics Author: Mr Natwarlal

Budhia Singh: India Revels In A Four Year Old Marathoner

Mr Natwarlal — Mon, 15 May 2006 00:20:09 EDT

A 4 year old running 65 kms smells of exploitation and abuse, eh?

Budhia Singh, a child born in the slums and estimated to be 4 years old, has entered India's Limca Book of Records after running 65km (40 miles) and being deemed the world's 'youngest marathoner'. "Budhia's miserable background as a slum child who was sold by his destitute mother as a toddler for 800 rupees, or $18 had served to enhance his appeal and in typical bandwagon fashion had local politicians falling "over themselves to be photographed next to the child."

However, after his accomplishment and being lauded as a miraculous child and role mole model, "the country's most powerful human rights body launched an investigation into whether the spectacle constituted child abuse."

This story has many twists and turns and is interesting on many levels:

1. As a runner, I can say with no uncertainty that running 40 miles, even for an adult, is not healthy. For a child who is nearly 4 and still developing, this type of exertion is definitely not beneficial. So as to the question of whether this is injurious/abuse, the answer seems to be yes, and his coach should be stopped from doing further damage to the child.

2. Politicians were beside themselves initially trying to personally benefit from Budhia's accomplishments. These same politicians, most of whom drive by poor slum kids everyday with little regard, were quick to jump on the bandwagon when they thought it might make them look good. This type of exploitative behavior is commonplace amongst politicians in general and Indian politicians seem to have taken this to the next level but utilizing/exploiting a child for these purposes is a seemingly low even for this group. And after the human rights uproar, these same politicians have either fallen silent or changed their stances 180 degrees.

3. Budhia's case as stated seems to indicate abuse and exploitation by his coach and politicians, but ironically, it seems that his accomplishments as "India's Forrest Gump" do afford him an opportunity to thrive (albeit his coach and others will probably thrive more and this opportunity would come at a perhaps severe cost to his health) more than a typical slum kid would. A typical slum kid faces little chance of being successful while also facing daunting human rights and societal impediments which go unnoticed by the millions on a daily basis.

4. As the article that appears in the NY Times says, "The case says much about India's thirst for athletic heroes. Despite its population of 1.3 billion, India won just one silver medal in the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens, and beyond cricket, its sporting achievements are limited."

5. Does anyone care about the Limca Book of Records?

The Sexually Repressed Indian Man

Mr Natwarlal — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 00:00:15 EDT

Me So Horny. I came across this website called Journey Woman, and it basically provides travel tips to women traveling in foreign countries. And for India, it is not the most flattering picture - catcalls, guys trying to make advances and those who actually touch, grab, etc. More recently, news reports paint a worse picture with tourists getting raped. Just recently, a Japanese tourist was allegedly raped in Rajasthan and two Germans were also raped by men in Rajasthan earlier this year.

And so this got me thinking about my recent trip to India. As I walked with my fiancée, I noticed how intensely guys will stare at an attractive girl. Here are my observations on this matter:

It is indisputable that the vast majority of Indian guys (young and uncles as well) are severely repressed. Most of the young ones have never been within 2 feet of a pair of real breasts (mom doesn't count), and the uncles being unsatisfied with their married sexual lives are no better. It's the nature of the stares which is troubling to me.

(Note: If you are a young guy or uncle who doesn't stare, don't write saying this doesn't apply to you. I know that generalizations cover the vast majority - not everyone. So save everyone the time of reading your useless commentary. Thanks.)

In my view, there are two distinct types of stares.

1. The Professional Stare (i.e., the IT, BPO-walas) - These are stares of resignation and defeat. A sad looking "I wish I could have a girlfriend" type of stare. Harmless, pathetic and somewhat funny.

2. The Worker Stare (i.e. the chai, rickshaw, unemployed-wallas) - Amongst the worker/poorer classes, the stare is more troubling because it is a more lascivious, threatening type of look.

There was a study done some time ago in the USA where men were asked if they could get away with raping a girl and nobody would ever know, would they do it? I think something like 40-50% said yes. Scary. Scarier yet, I'd venture to say that it would be much much higher in many parts of India.

I also noticed that the staring and catcalling was much worse in Delhi than in Mumbai. In a sidenote, I was talking to a friend who is working at Google and he told me that 80% of the searches originating in India are for pornography. WOW! Now that's some evidence of repression. Indian men need a nice dose of tits and ass before they explode.

(Note to self: Time to get into the Indian pornography business).

So will this ever improve? Are the vast majority of Indian men going to be in this perennial state of repression for the foreseeable future? Mumbai better than Delhi? How about other parts of India? Would a more sexually liberated society be good or bad for India?

Responsive Politician - Don't Like Math? Pick Gardening

Mr Natwarlal — Mon, 17 Apr 2006 13:25:48 EDT

I feel like my blog survives because Indian politicians & government types regularly indulge in stupid things that I can write about. The latest comes from Education Minister Professor Vasant Purke who thinks that mathematics (or maths for some of you) should be optional after the 8th standard (8th grade for ABCDs).

In lieu of math, the state education department is proposing offering subjects like computer science, agriculture and handicrafts instead. A final decision will only be made "after a huge public meeting to be held next month, where the common man's opinion will also be sought." Like it or not, the 'common man' of India is not equipped to make these decisions and the education of India's youth should be left to those who know what they are doing. Although from this initiative, it seems that even "those who know" need to go back to school themselves and get a clue.

So as India tries to become a player in the global community, should an education system that lets students opt out of a core educational requirement of math be allowed? Does the education department really think that someone can do computer science who can't do basic algebra? And do they think that getting people to focus on handicrafts and agriculture is the key to unlocking India's vast potential.

The reason for the proposal is students from the city as well as rural areas are sometimes unable to complete their 8th standard because of the difficulty of passing math. According to education department sources, "Maths is the one subject that most students fail in the SSC exam. We are looking at those students who give up studies after failing the subject repeatedly. Day by day the exam burden has increased and students are under tremendous pressure because of maths. Prof. Purke has put forward this decision after receiving numerous complaints from parents."

Not only are parents complaining about the math requirement, but surprise surprise, so are students. One Brainiac commented ""Though I was good in science and languages, my results took a beating due to mathematics. Appearing for other subjects was never a problem but when it came to algebra and geometry I was all at sea. Though I took tuition I was never able to understand the equations and calculations. I was good at simple mathematics till Standard VII but in Standard VIII when we were taught formulae I could never comprehend which one to apply where, hence I used to fail in these subjects and gradually lost interest in studies."

(1) "I was all at sea"? How did this Einstein even pass English? (2) I remember complaining about school subjects, teachers, etc throughout my education. It's part of what students do and this move to remove math is a cop out. Just because I didn't like or was having difficulty with a book we were reading or a mathematical formula doesn't mean it should be changed or removed.

This proposal sounds a bit like a person who breaks his finger and decides to cut off his arm to fix the problem. India needs a rigorous educational system. Requiring math doesn't mean that everyone needs to be a software engineer or financier, but just because you cannot do math doesn't mean you should be thrown into a career in handicrafts or agriculture. There is a lot of room in the middle and hopefully enough sense amongst the powers that be to see this. You just need to look at the US education system to see how a system increasingly less reliant upon the basics - reading, writing & arithmetic ultimately can serve to put a country at a disadvantage.

Is the World Not Nuts for Nuts? Cashew Exports for '05-'06 Down 7% Over Prior Year

Mr Natwarlal — Sun, 16 Apr 2006 11:29:23 EDT

Everybody's favorite governing body for nuts, The Cashew Export Promotion Council of India (CEPCI), released figures recently that indicated a sizable decline in the last year over the record-breaking '04'-'05 year for cashew exports.

For those interested, "The marginal decline in exports was attributed to the drop in prices during the last quarter of the current fiscal by about 15 per cent and the consequent request from overseas buyers to postpone part of the shipments originally scheduled for March to April-June 2006."

But nut lovers, you should fear not:

The CEPCI has taken steps to ramp up consumption in states through several 'innovative' measures. Amongst the steps being taken are the following:

Two cashew festivals are being organized by other major kaju organizations who are hoping to address this issue before it reaches epidemic levels.

The Goa Cashew Manufacturers Association planned an event called the Cashew Mahotsav to "attract foreign tourists and was conducted along with the international tourism festival of Goa". My non-Indian friends who were ambivalent about visiting India always would tell me, "We'd go to India tomorrow if there was a cashew festival." Now they have no excuse.

The Karnataka Cashew Manufacturers Association also has planned a major promotional event, "the biggest ever in India", named Kaju Fest (what a great name!) from April 21 to 24. Tickets are going quick so if you are interested, get them quickly.

But the strategies are not all about fun and festivals. CEPCI will convene the global buyer-seller meet which will be held at the Kovalam Leela beach resort where cashew importers from over 30 countries will deliberate on the marketing strategies. The hope is that a "a road map for global cashew promotion is expected to emerge out of this meeting".

As good Indians, I implore you to go out and buy a packet of cashews or any product made of cashews. This is a serious business issue facing the country, and we should do our part to help out.

Kannada Actor Raj Kumar Dies and Indians in Bangalore Lose Their Minds

Mr Natwarlal — Sat, 15 Apr 2006 00:12:48 EDT

I hope Amitabh stays healthy (for India's sake).

People died in Bangalore as thousands of fans mourned the loss of actor and Kannada screen-icon Raj Kumar. I for one have never seen any of the man's movies because I am either too young and/or don't speak more than a couple of dirty words in Kannada, but given the outpouring by fans, this guy must have been good, because if you measure your life's achievement by how many people die as a result of your own death, this guy is going to be tough to match.

As of today, eight people died while "thousands of angry fans smashed cars, burnt buses and battled with the police on Thursday." The reason -- they were being restricted from seeing the procession or the star at his home.

The city of Bangalore, India's Silicon Valley, also ceased to function normally as virtually every institution, i.e. all MNCs, bio-tech, banks and private companies and state-owned enterprises, educational institutions, markets and restaurants, closed in observance of the actor's funeral and last rites.

1500 IT companies shut down including India's big guns such as Infosys and Wipro, thereby giving the day off to 300,000 employees in honor of the fallen star.

This is perplexing and provides insights on many fronts:

- Darker skin pigment = More likely to act like an idiot and/or riot and burn crap. Actually, this is probably not a skin color issue (although there seems to be some anecdotal proof indicating it might be) and more of a fundamental have vs. have-not issue. Those who don't have somehow have been brainwashed to believe that burning a car is in some way going to help them achieve some random nebulous objective. This is like those little Palestinian kids who throw rocks at Israeli tanks. Not only is it pointless, but it's usually you, the rock thrower, who gets hurt. But at least they are fighting for freedom. These people died trying to see an actor. A dead one.

- There are lots of dumb Indians. Yes I read about all the smart Indians making strides in business, politics, art, etc and I'm heartened and hopeful for more successes like theirs, but just given the sheer volume of us as a people, it seems entirely possible that there are more dumb Indians than the total population of the USA (270 million). There maybe more dumb Chinese but they never riot and do stupid things like this. Then again, they may want to but if they were to try, the Chinese government might not respond very nicely. Law & order does have its price, right?

- Will time actually stop when Amitabh dies? If this was the reaction for a Kannada actor, India is going to be in a world of hurt when the Big B kicks it.

- To hell with productivity. How does the hub and growth engine of the Indian New Economy completely shut down for a day to mourn an actor's death? Name a street or theater after him or something, but the show must go on. I wonder what that one day cost the country and those companies in terms of revenue, profit, etc.

Donkey's Double Jeopardy: Indian Textbook Compares Politicians & Wives To Them

Mr Natwarlal — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 17:22:44 EDT

What ever happened to reading, writing and arithmetic?

A textbook used to teach 14-year olds in Rajasthan has come under attack after it made comparisons between donkeys and politicians. Politicians have complained and as a result the offending chapter is going to be purged from the text.

The book has been in use for more than a year, and amazingly, a comparison in the same book between donkeys and women didn't cause the initial uproar. Although the woman's branch of the BJP has subsequently raised a stink about this comparison as well. As a Rajasthani and someone about to get married, I must say I'm proud of my home state. I particularly liked this passage which I will share with my fiancé. "Donkeys, like Indian wives, can go hungry and thirsty but continue working... but whereas the wife keeps nagging the donkey does not complain. When she gets angry she starts a non-cooperation movement and threatens to go back to her parents, but the donkey never gets upset and serves its master faithfully."

Even more interesting is the defense provided by state education official A.R. Khan who was quoted as saying, ''The comparison was made in good humor.''

Three things to note:
1. Instead of Indian politicians wasting their time trying to remove negative comparisons of themselves to various forms of wildlife, it might be a good time to actually change the way you do things so people won't perceive you as such.

2. I believe the purpose of school is to educate and not to create future stand up comedians or misogynists. However, I do look forward to a group of wife-beating, politics-hating, donkey-loving students to emerge from this esteemed institution of higher learning in the future.

3. Rajasthanis really love their donkeys so maybe the comparisons to wives aren't totally satirical as the "donkey population in Rajasthan is estimated to be more than 150,000 and the state hosts one of India's oldest and most renowned annual donkey fairs."

I Love My India (But Only For A Price)

Mr Natwarlal — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 00:04:32 EDT

At the recently concluded Commonwealth Games in Melbourne, Australia, an eleven-minute Bollywood extravaganza cost nearly Rs 40 crore ($8.9 million). At the same time, the daily allowance for Indian athletes was reduced by $30.

According to Shoaib Iqbal, deputy speaker of Delhi's Vidhan Sabha, Rs11 crore was sanctioned by the central government and Rs29 crore was provided by the Delhi government for the ceremony.

Several Bollywood stars who didn't even participate in the 11 minute extravaganza were flown to Melbourne and put up in 5-star hotels courtesy of the fiscally responsible Indian government.

Some of the stars and staff who showed up to be paid all in the name of patriotism included:

* Manisha Koirala and Pooja Bedi allegedly who flew in but did not perform.
* Aishwarya Rai charged Rs 3 crore (~$675,000) for a few minutes work
* Rani Mukherjee charged Rs 2 crore (~$450,000) also charged for a few strenuous minutes of exertion.
* Priyanka Chopra and Lara Dutta also charged Rs 1 crore (~$225,000) simply for waving to the crowd.
* Hairdressers, make-up artists, and family members and friends were also allowed to get in on the deal with accomodation in luxury hotels to accomodate the stars.

"Though these stars repeatedly said they were glad to be part of Team India, they charged us huge amounts. I have a recording of Aishwarya Rai where she declares that she was participating solely due to her patriotic fervour. Nevertheless, she charged a whopping Rs3 crore to perform for a few minutes," stated Iqbal.

I find this whole escapade disturbing and hilarious on multiple fronts:

1. One billion people and no Olympic gold medals - As a country, we are either the most athletically uninclined people in the universe or just the most severely underfunded athletic department in the world. China goes to the winter and summer olympics and racks up numerous medals every time. We send a small group of poorly trained 'athletes' to these events on a global stage and come back empty handed everytime. Yes we win medals at the Asian games or the Commonwealth games, but who honestly cares about those? And so now to add insult to injury, our government is throwing money at Bollywood stars instead of building gyms, playing fields, swimming pools, etc. Priorities.

2. Bollywood stars are full of crap. If you listen to interviews with Bollywood stars, they always seem to say the right thing about a movie or their love of India, but this is proof positive that in the end, it comes down the almighty Rupee (or dollar). It's particularly appalling with someone like Aishwarya who acts all righteous in her media interviews but then can ask for absurd amounts of money for a few minutes of work.

3. Some Indian government officials have the IQ of monkeys. I can think of at least a couple million better uses of nearly $9 million when it comes to India. It's good to see our politicians putting so much thought into how they expend the country's resources. After all, all the fault doesn't lie with the Bollywood stars as if someone wanted to give me hundreds of thousands of dollars for a few minutes work, I wouldn't say no either.

Homer Simpson Heads To Bangalore

Mr Natwarlal — Sat, 8 Apr 2006 00:00:05 EDT

Offshoring to India even hits jobs of American cartoon characters. In the 17th episode of the 17th season, The Simpsons episode is titled "Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore". In the episode, Homer heads to Bangalore after his nuclear power plant gets shut down and outsourced to India. Homer is sent to train the new employees and of course, gets power hungry with the new authority he has.

Inclusion in The Simpsons is definitely indicative of India now having penetrated the American imagination, psyche and pop culture. Of course, I'd expect lots of stereotypical portrayals of Indians with horrendously thick Indian accents (a la Apu) and random ridiculous allusions to the mystical India, but if we can laugh at ourselves a bit, this should prove to be quite a funny journey for Homer and the family.

It's may also serve as a nice little way to expand the market for the show to the Indian community in anticipation of The Simpsons movie expected in theaters in June 2007. And for those fans who haven't seen the live-action version of the animated series' opening sequence which is being used in the UK for advertising, you can check it out at goto.seattlepi.com/r115. Doesn't quite live upto the hype about it taking 18 months to shoot, but interesting nonetheless.

The link to the Bangalore episode is at TV.com.