OPINION

Sarkari Babus & Beyond Their Fat Ass

October 13, 2010
Being Cynical

The Sarkari Babus could be the most confused lot in India at present. They don’t know what are their jobs and responsibilities to begin with. They are not sure why they are employed or continue to be employed. Are they supposed to perform some duty (not that they wanted to do anything) or does they have any accountability. Whom they should report (read share) the moment they manage to get hold of some booty by their looting act. What should be the % share of the loot as it shouldn’t happen that Mantriji run away with all the loot leaving him empty handed. And most important - how one should duck himself from the agencies like Vigilance, Enforcement Directorate or any of that nonsense. Pah!! A hell lot of confusion and no wonders our Sarkari Babus are the largest consumer of blood pressure medicines in India.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I had some considerable number of encounters with Babus over the years. Most of the time, I crash upon them during my train journeys. The last Babu that I remember of having an encounter with was a shameless individual. Now you may argue – Babus and shameless, what’s new? Hang-on, to me he seemed like a bit more shameless than any average Babu could be. He in fact was an encyclopedia of shamelessness on motion as was evident starting with the very reason of his journey.

You know, I have this son who studies Engineering in Visakhapatnam and unfortunately he was arrested yesterday in connection with a bike lifting charge. Wow – I never knew I am traveling with the father of a Gladiator, I thought. What made him lift a bike? I asked. Are!! Nothing much. You know how rustic these police chaps are. Being a kid he might have done it out of exuberance and these policewalas are picturing it all in black. Intent is to mint money from me, nothing else- came the shameless reply. Are we talking about Indian kids or kids from Zimbabwe, Somalia or any other civil war torn nation? Kids in India don’t steal bikes for some fun. Do they? But this gentleman, rather being sorry for his son’s misadventure was busy covering up his dirty ass. Can’t blame him entirely though – as being corrupt himself he is bound to view the world in the same prism and more of when he himself might be stealing lakhs of Tax payer’s money, a mere bike lifting won’t come to the equation. Now imagine what this corrupt and shameless man’s son would become when he grows up. As correctly said – corruption is also somewhat hereditary. Seldom would you find a clean man’s son or daughter getting engaged in nefarious activities.

Babus are not only shameless but at the same time grossly notorious also. Their notorious act is not only limited to siphoning of public fund. The pathetic network between Babus of different cities is an equal big a pain. Yaar Sharmaji, my sister’s younger daughter has applied for a clerical post in your local Tahashil office. Could you make sure she gets this job? There you go – Sharmaji can’t just refuse Vermaji as Vermaji once had helped his brother-in-law to get that Desi Daru ka theka license. The girl being at the bottom of the heap in terms of merit, still run away with the job leaving deserving candidates like Janardan clueless. How many times you have found your railway ticket with waiting number # 2 not getting confirmed while some clown comes from behind the queue and takes your seat? Ask the clown about the Babu behind him for this interesting turnaround and you would get exiting answers, starting with how important a figure (a notch below Rahul Gandhi) he is and how many Babus he knows personally.

Few Babus who have turned senior have got the luxury of having a Red light installed atop their official cars. I still struggle to understand the utility of having this Red light for a person having the least of wit or gill to work and corrupt to the core. What a person whose upper body part is nothing but a huge pot belly and fat enough to frighten the sumo wrestlers has got to do with this Red light. If they claim it is for security – then I am sure it rather adds to the security concern than minimizing it. On a second thought – the person inside is good for nothing and worthless enough for any terrorist target. I am sure even the terrorists won't waste their time on these rascals. But ask these Babus to give-up the Red light – they would give you that expression as if you have asked both of their Kidneys instead. Not only the Babu but his wife, daughter and even his pet dog need to be ferried in that Red top car. Owner’s pride – Tax payer’s envy, I must say.

These creatures fondly known as Babus are as big scoundrels and rascals as our politicians are, when it comes to corruption and idiocy. They are masters of looting the common people on daily basis and in turn filling their and Mantriji’s coffer. Duty and responsibility are the two words these guys either learn last or give it the first miss. God only save our country from these homegrown terrorists!!

Fun is the next essential ingredient after Oxygen for this author. This chap is writing humor for quite some time without realizing that no one is reading. An IT coolie by profession he took to writing as he found Mayawati is not doing enough to balance out the daily dose of Humor needed by the human race. He could be found in all suspicious looking cyber spaces - From Orkut to Facebook, From Linkedin to Desibaba. The author can be reached via his Email which he invariably checks every 5 minutes (as he has nothing better to do). So if you are deprived of a big useless mail for sometime then just drop a test mail to this chap. You won't be disappointed. If you want a reply in double quick time then don't forget to add 'HOT PARTY GIRLS' or something like that somewhere in the subject line. Though he titled his blog as 'Being Cynical', regular readers feel, it should have been 'Occasionally Cynical, Mostly Mental'. P.S :- Befriending this human being is at the sole responsibility of the individual. It could bring unimaginable mental agony.
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Sarkari Babus & Beyond Their Fat Ass

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