SATIRE

Satire: Indian Female League - A New Venture by Lalli Modi

April 08, 2010
Amit Kumar

Indian Female league – a new venture by Lalli Modi. This piece is complete fiction and has no resemblance to anyone living or dead. Any resemblance is completely coincidental and a piece of hyper imagination

What is the new venture of Lalli Modi? Its not Indian Hockey league or Indian Soccer league, its Indian Female league. Don’t get surprised - given the love he has for women especially the cheer leaders, it does makes sense.

So get ready for the next session of Cricket from the makers of blockbuster cricket. There are rumors that the Govt. is supporting this venture, as they are advocating 33% reservation for women in Parliament, and here Mr. Modi is launching separate league for females. Good, probably Rahul will finally find a Rough and Tough girl for himself who can bowl him out.

The team names would be something like – Delhi Hasinas, Mumbai Maidens, Hyderabadi Potties, Kolkata Night Riders, Queens XI Punjab, Chennai Chandramukhis, Bangalore Babes, Rajsthani Ranis and I'll leave the rest for others' imagination to come up with innovative names.

The owners are going to be very high profile people whose love for women have never been a secret from the world. From close sources, we have come to know that Tiger Woods is interested in owning a team, especially Kolkata Night Riders, Guess he wants to break his old record of dating 9 women.

Also, the former US president, Mr Bill is keen to take Delhi Hasinas in partnership with Ms. Monika. How come Mr. Sar kozy Kozy be behind in the race as he is so pro women so he is pitching for Bangalore Babes. But the surprise Indian and Pakistani Package is a team will be co owned by Sania and Shoaib, as they will be jobless after their marriage as Sania is losing her ad contract and Shoaib is already jobless. They would form a cross border team with the name – “Aman ki Ayesha” and all their matches would be of two innings – 10 over each. Mr. Lalli Modi along with his politician friends is already advocating for 100% FDI in IFL.

Bollywood is also very optimistic about the whole affair, and I heard Madira bedi telling Saddhu Paaji in a cricket show, “Noodles Eleven”, that this is a revolutionary attempt by Mr. Lalli and a platform for ladies like her to show the world – cleavage with cricket. A journalist asked her, if she would wear her noodle strap Bra in the show, she smiled and winked and said she would like to keep it as a surprise. I know lakhs of men will keep watching her boring cricket show waiting for that surprise to arrive and our Saddhu Paaji and Barsha Bhogle too.

The cheer girls will go from the stadium, but it will also open a new job market for cheer boys who have 4 packs, 6 packs or 8 packs abs. The govt. is also very happy with this initiative that the job market is growing.

The IFL teams have already started calling for auditions from male dancers. Heard our favorite director K JO is also keen in taking up a part time career as Cheer Boy. All those Bollywood glam girls who are currently unemployed also have a career option – to play for IFL. Models and super models from India and abroad will be part of the team, provided they have to be size zero fit.

Our liquor Baron is quite ecstatic about the whole thing, and he announced the launch of Queenfisher IFL calendar with a theme called “Bikinis and Bat”, after all if Pappu can Dance, then Babes can Bat too. The IFL news is already making news on TV channels, the team owners are busy finalizing the teams, and the organizers are engaged in getting sponsorships. But guess what, Sania and Shoaib are doing? They are busy fixing IFL matches.The IFL is not “Manoranjan ka Baap”, its “Manoranjan ko Maa”.

I am a marketing professional and have keen interest in writing. I love knowing people . I write on current issues, movies, society,sports and general humour.
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Satire: Indian Female League - A New Venture by Lalli Modi

 

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