http://desicritics.org/ Superior South Asian bloggers on Culture, Media, Politics, Sport, Business, and Technology. en Copyright 2006 by the authors Sun, 5 Dec 2010 01:33:35 EST http://backend.userland.com/rss BC custom software http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-402293 I certainly enjoyed this post. We (as a community), appreciate it. I own a related blog on this subject. Do you mind if I link to this write-up on my site? 402293@desicritics.org Sun, 5 Dec 2010 01:33:35 EST http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-392049 Oh God! Marital bliss or the lack of it(!) has made this a steaming hot thread guys! Great Post Purba! RESTLESS MIND 392049@desicritics.org Tue, 17 Aug 2010 03:07:58 EDT http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-389352 Another reason why young Indians won't take divorce casually is because of the difficulty in obtaining one and the long winded process involved. 389352@desicritics.org Tue, 29 Jun 2010 03:22:07 EDT http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-389321 Younger Indians though, don’t necessarily see marriage as a sacred institution. Which perhaps explains why they are willing to consider the possibility of divorce when their marriages are not configured for emotional fulfilment. However, it is still not easy even for young Indians to get blasé about divorce, for the sacrament theory of marriage is still strongly imbued in the hidden depth of their psyches, and perhaps their DNA even. Author of the just-launched Fifty-50 Marriage: Return to Intimacy 389321@desicritics.org Mon, 28 Jun 2010 08:36:08 EDT http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-389277 For the record, the crap that Sumanth dishes out is one of the reasons I do not read or post on desicritics these days. Even "skipping" his comments doesn't help as there are numerous responses etc, and it is very wearying. Like this thread for instance. I loved Purba's article but I totally went into "My God why did I even come here?" once Sumanth got his hands on it. - Deepa http://www.mumbai-magic.blogspot.com 389277@desicritics.org Sun, 27 Jun 2010 00:30:30 EDT http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-389265 Scary, scary wife you are. I am not getting married. Ever. Don't blame me - I am way too used to awesome home-cooked food :) 389265@desicritics.org Sat, 26 Jun 2010 08:47:38 EDT http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-388831 "Married men live longer lives." Lol! Five more years in the nursing home in exchange for lifelong misery? Screw it! 388831@desicritics.org Thu, 17 Jun 2010 12:31:56 EDT http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-388812 "Marital Blis? Is there such a thing?" NO! But marital BLISS does exist once in a while, as does Baba Bliss. 388812@desicritics.org Wed, 16 Jun 2010 19:10:59 EDT http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-388806 Marital Blis? Is there such a thing? 388806@desicritics.org Wed, 16 Jun 2010 15:42:45 EDT http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-386714 Who? Me?? LOL!! My husband might disagree - he can barely handle one of me :D:D 386714@desicritics.org Sat, 15 May 2010 23:18:54 EDT http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-386669 Sweetheart you deserve to be cloned. 386669@desicritics.org Fri, 14 May 2010 22:36:24 EDT http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-386627 Now I'll wait for Sumanth to come by and comment on how battered and bechara my husband is :D 386627@desicritics.org Fri, 14 May 2010 13:24:17 EDT http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-386625 Uff!! I read the article and meant to comment on it. And then got distracted by Sumanth's speeches. Purba, GREAT article. It reminded me of my newly-wed days as well :) I am, perhaps, one of those ad-ladies. I LOVE to cook. And look at the irony - my husband can make do with ANY meal - even cereal for dinner :P Through these 14 years, one big point of contention has been that he never tells me what he would like me to cook. The whole world puts in requests but whenever I ask him, his standard reply is "I'll eat whatever you cook". *bangs head* :D:D 386625@desicritics.org Fri, 14 May 2010 12:57:38 EDT http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-386583 You are a great writer. Love the post. Some things change, but most things never change. 386583@desicritics.org Thu, 13 May 2010 14:48:35 EDT http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-380076 And weren't you the one who said "Men are treated like ATM machines?" So shouldn't you be the one to be happy when a woman says - She is glad she doesn't have a husband and takes care of her own without any male assistance? Its a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't with you in this thread. 380076@desicritics.org Fri, 5 Feb 2010 00:51:43 EST http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-380075 Sumanth, and you consider wives to be demonic beings as well and malign the female gender all the time. Seriously, pot calling the kettle black me thinks. 380075@desicritics.org Fri, 5 Feb 2010 00:45:30 EST http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-380070 Seema, Stop all those false accusations. I give my opinions only when any other author or commentators indulges in sexism or discriminatory statements. I do not poke my nose in every article in Desicritics. Smallsquirrel, Do not lie here to mollify anyone. I was never banned. Let's stick to Article. ======================= Read this: "Now these are guys who grew up watching ads which show the lady of the house cooking up a six course meal with a beatific smile plastered on her face. Is overjoyed when her kid comes back home in soiled clothes. And cleaning utensils is her lifelong passion. She scours and scrubs from morn to noon....." The author keeps a complete flank open with this assuming that chivalrous males will not criticize. When questioned, she feels "battered". So, criticism to subtle sexism is "domestic violence"!! ================================= This article prompts another person to say,"Thank God, I do not have an Husband". ================================= Are not husbands accused of "stereotyping women as cooks" here? What is the social message here? I am horrified at the way, people are aligned towards defaming and degrading a section of population. Is Husband a Demon or an Alien? That hurts. Why abuse and hurt of males is considered acceptable and why is it so deliberate? If people have been nursing all kinds of false notions about men with sweeping generalizations and stereotypes, I will oppose. 380070@desicritics.org Thu, 4 Feb 2010 23:35:28 EST http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-380069 GUYS CAN YOU PLEASE MOVE ON TO MY NEXT BLOG??? It's begging for attention :) 380069@desicritics.org Thu, 4 Feb 2010 23:27:32 EST http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-380064 seema... he has been banned on numerous occasions, but he keeps coming back. the same can be said for other people who have also been banned. there is no effective way to stop people in these kinds of fora, that I am aware of anyway. I did delete comment #26, and I will do my best to be more vigilant in the future. I am one of the editors here, but I am less active than I could be due to lots of excuses that I will not bore you with. :) but you do have my apologies for not being more vigilant. 380064@desicritics.org Thu, 4 Feb 2010 22:36:21 EST http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-380062 srikanth: This is not a question of agreeing or disagreeing at all so please spare me the "intolerance" lecture. The point is we cannot be agreeing or disagreeing about our choice of pickles on a thread for an article about sports, its just a different topic. Even if I did agree with Sumanth I would still be disturbed by how he uses every thread to promote his agenda and deviates considerably from the subject matter of discussion. His comments are ONLY relevant to SIFF members. If we do not counter his points, he still continues with reams and reams of such comments, links etc. assuming we are agreeing with him. New authors don't know how to deal with this sort of a menace. Film reviews, personal history chronicles, poetry, politics...every subject is channeled into a discussion about men's rights and about how women have ruined men's lives. And this is protected as "Sumanth's opinions". Bullshit! What if I started spamming every comment thread with my views on the use of Viagara? Wouldn't those be deleted? I can find some stray thread of logic to make some argument and include various unrelated crap in my comments. I don't because unlike Sumanth I do not have an agenda to promote. SS: I have in the past through several comments made my views on the matter clear to Aaman and other editors but I think their attitude on the subject is summed up in Deepti's comment 28 ("Sumanth is entitled to his opinion. We must pick our battles"). He knows he has this kind of support and lenience here and hence continues. This is actually very easy to fix. Its just that nobody wants to. I don't know why this has been their attitude and it definitely gives me pause for thought. 380062@desicritics.org Thu, 4 Feb 2010 22:17:34 EST http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-380053 the point is, sumanth, that you have never ONCE commented on an article without spinning your agenda. have you? it is not even about what is controversial and what is not. it is about your haranguing and harassing people to the point that they leave DC as either commenters or writers because they are sick of you deflecting conversation off the topic of their piece and onto your agenda. I hereby move that you be free to pedal your agenda in articles that you write here, but from now on, any comment that you write that constitutes a cut/paste spin job be summarily deleted. it is negatively effecting the entire atmosphere of Desicritics. 380053@desicritics.org Thu, 4 Feb 2010 21:21:45 EST http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-380052 @seema, I simply don't understand how people think they are bullied just because their perspective is not accepted by others. Sumanth didn't bullied anyone. He just gave his perspective. We all can give our own, isn't it? It may be first article of the author or the 100th one, pointing out mistakes or flaws in the article is good think, it actually helps the author. Seems some people here have developed intolerance against someone's ideology. 380052@desicritics.org Thu, 4 Feb 2010 21:20:15 EST http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-380050 There are so many good articles in Desicritics, where the authors do not comment or participate or discuss. Just check the articles on home page. So, accusations against me have no significance. I have not driven Purba away in her article on "5 Letter word". I am in Desicritics for 5 years, and the quality of articles have not come down. In Blogosphere, some articles will get controversial and some will not. World will be a boring place, if everyone agrees with everyone else over every thing. This will also limit creativity and cross over of thoughts and new ideas for a new world. It does not harm, if both genders show some respect and gratitude for each other's roles rather than invalidating each other. Today, men do not know which expectation of theirs from wife is appropriate and which one will lead to a flare up. So, many of them think 10 times before speaking. Do women think 10 times before speaking regarding their expectations from men? No woman is perfect and no man is perfect as well. That does not take away our expectations. Harsh language can hurt both women and also men. When one says,"thank God, I do not have a husband", it sounds as if a husband is an Alien. Its men who are "linguistically battered" today. Men also have feelings like women and they can also be vulnerable and can also get hurt. We have to be grateful for living in this wonderful planet, rather than stereotyping or fixing each other on the basis of language, religion, race or gender. 380050@desicritics.org Thu, 4 Feb 2010 21:10:52 EST http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-380043 seema. I agree with you. I think there is a conundrum. As an editor I see that people are driven from the site by people like sumanth who hound them to actual death as an author or commenter. we do try to edit people who are off track, no matter who they are. but there are only a few of us, and we can only do so much. we do try to encourage new authors by showing them solidarity in the comments section. I do think that maybe we could do more, but also you must understand that you must be of hearty stock to stand up to any kind of criticism, whether it be well meaning but persistent, or agenda-driven and mind-numbing. I do hear your comments and I empathize. maybe you can contact aaman and offer your suggestions. I think we do need to foster these new authors, and I think we need to revisit how we handle people who cause a general disturbance for the group as a whole. 380043@desicritics.org Thu, 4 Feb 2010 18:33:04 EST http://desicritics.org/2010/01/30/234504.php#comment-380042 No SS. Apparently he is entitled to all his opinions no matter how much unrelated crap he spews. It is we who must accomodate and pick our battles with him. Besides if comment 26 is about the "subject at hand" then pretty much everything is. I wish you guys seriously and with some empathy thought about this situation from the perspective of new authors. Authors have left and Sumanth has persisted. Perhaps along with writing guidelines you should provide a statutory warning about Sumanth and other such commentators who are waiting around to bully new authors and piss all over their threads. This is precisely why I asked Aditi not to write here. You have these same handful of individuals using this website as a platform for their agendas and authors get trampled upon. It is so unfair. 380042@desicritics.org Thu, 4 Feb 2010 18:12:11 EST