Movie Review: Kurbaan

I think this concept of the suave and sexy Muslim terrorist luring an unsuspecting demure damsel to further his ends of blowing up a few more people has been done to death now; and ya, even the premise of another Muslim coming to the rescue; Obviously. Kurbaan uses the clichéd modern day plot of Islamic terrorism against the US but then they throw in the love angle which is as absurd as Vinod Kambli in reality TV.

The problem begins with the very first shot. Saif and Kareena have been together for so long that no matter how hard they try to act like strangers; they come across as a couple having a love tiff. It took me a few minutes to realize that they actually were strangers in the movie. But a few coffees and an awkward smooch later, they are in love. But by this time, they actually look like they’re actors just pretending to be in love. I couldn’t really get it whether it was plain bad acting or it was me.

And then since you do not feel any love between them, you do not feel any pain when Kareena discovers that her handsome husband is a member of a terrorist sleeper cell, unlike Fanaa where the initial love story was so sweet that it was hard, not to feel sorry for Kajol. Throughout the rest of the movie, the director seems unsure whether Kareena loves him or loves him not. And given that Saif was playing a most wanted terrorist, how easily did he give up his objective of blowing up people for saving the girl whom he used to get to the US. The entire premise is so messed up, it doesn’t make any sense.

Saif and Kareena together sure make the hottest couple on and off screen and after the first few minutes, you do start appreciating Kareena’s new designer look and Saif’s royal lineage but if that’s what we wanted to see, we could pick-up any movie magazine and they’re splashed all over the pages like some bad curry stain. And Viveik Ouberoioiooio (why take chances) – man, he clearly is the most grating actor on screen; even more than John Abraham. (Yeah, now imagine how did the world survive Kaal). Simply put, he’s got a weird hairdo, zero acting skills, and expressions that resemble a toad. Add to that, he’s given brains of a toad (I’m really enjoying this) in the movie. He doesn’t call the police or the FBI when he gets information about suspects behind a bomb but in true 70s style, he goes after the terrorists himself… singlehandedly, infiltrates their group and comes out a winner. And oh ya, he does call the FBI at the end anyways.

Clichéd characters – all terrorists wear pathanis and their wives are Abaya adorning dumb figures; Clichéd dialogues – do people still argue about who is the real terrorist – US or the Taliban? Or how many people died in 9/11 vis-à-vis how many people died in Iraq?; Clichéd acting – the guys playing terrorists speak less and are always angry, the lady terrorist has a pashto accent. Actually this reminds me, what a misfit the Saif seemed in their group wearing Italian cut suits and smart ties.

So I guess, in spite of the screwed up review (if I could call it that), you do get the drift. Thankfully, it is now time for some seriously nice cinema. Dubai International Film Festival begins on 9th December.