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What Do You Do For A Living?
Deepti Lamba
So, what do you do for a living?
Ah!! you're a homemaker...
Yeah, that's the end of the conversation with me.
Back in Delhi when I bumped into an old school acquaintance I decided to tell the truth that I was a writer and quite a lot of my stuff was published. Where? Skin mags!!
The babe looked flustered and shocked and I was smug. It sounded better than stating a flaky - I am a homemaker
Recently I blurted out the truth in a more creative fashion - I am retired and since I am a woman of means I don't need to work. Thanks to my husband I am lucky enough to be able to devote time to my passion and my family.
The individual who asked me What do you do for a living? spluttered and was left speechless .
Most people are unable to earn money from their passion. Most people are unable to devote time to their passion. Come to think of it, a majority of people don't even know what they are good at. They work because they have to, not because they want to.
Few people are eager to go to work on a Monday morning. The few who do look forward to their work are generally self employed or enjoy great deal of autonomy at their work, others crib about their work environment , their bosses, colleagues and the list goes on.
All that is discussed after I am politely ignored for leading an 'idle life' and I find myself wondering time and again whether my 'stress free life' ( yeah, even I had a boss yelling at me at one point) isn't better than dealing with the egoistical bosses and bitchy colleagues.
When they compare their stressful lives with each others I remain quiet. My stress is different from theirs- I go sleepless at night because I write late into the night not because I have a presentation or assignment to finish. I get up at crack of dawn because I have tiffins to pack and chores to do and not because I have to drive from one end of the city to get another to work. Basically I am the mistress of my own time and of my mind.
Sure, I have to deal with people who think I am a lazy babe without an identity; some even called me a doormat. Doormat and me? Just because I don't get a pay cheque at the end of the month?
I'm already working but I don't have to prove my worth to anyone.
The way I see it- when I am on my death bed I am not going to regret that I didn't have a nine to five job but reminisce more about relationships gone sour or dreams left unfulfilled.
Related Article : What Do You Do By Mark
tanay
URL
July 20, 2008
01:51 PM
so the post underlines the generic notion we all have in a society as a whole, 'if i am not adding some decent amount in terms of a pay cheque, either i am dumb or have failed under the so-called parameters of success/achievement.'
dee, what do you feel are the reasons for this. does a fat pay cheque place you on a different platform, atleast for a few in the society that you and i live in? if yes, why so?
Deepti Lamba
URL
July 20, 2008
10:20 PM
People judge others by their economic success. Even stupid rich people are given more attention than some regular intelligent Joe. Thats the way society is.
Those who don't follow this pattern are considered to be eccentric or weird.
temporal
URL
July 20, 2008
11:12 PM
dee:
it is nobody's business!
on second thoughts let me hurriedly qualify above...as long as you do not indulge in war crimes, crimes against humanity, (illegally) occupy other peoples' land, subjugate innocent civilians or kill and maim them...or indulge in violence against others...what you do...and...how you do it is nobody's business
;)
more power to you!
AN
URL
July 20, 2008
11:28 PM
It may be like an endogenous sadism thats part of human personality but I think people just want everybody to be as miserable if not more than they themselves are. They cannot bear to watch somebody else live a life where they can be creative and live life instead of jumping hoops for the next promotion. So they try to make you feel bad...for not being as miserable as them.
I hate to admit this but I swear to god if I am stressed out at work and wondering if I'll ever have a personal life I start to scowl at those happy and glowing stay-at-home moms who get to spend time with their kids and I snort at people who can have their hobby as their work and do it at leisure :) I start to wonder if maybe I ask them enough times what they do for a living they might feel compelled to leave their wonderful lives and find some job that makes them miserable like the rest of us. Hehehe.
Just kidding. I have been through this whole experience where people cluck in sympathy like you were dying if you were in a career-transition phase or just plain working from home. Its aggravating.
Deepti Lamba
URL
July 21, 2008
02:46 AM
temporal and An- is it the sheep mentality or is it the fox with the cut tail syndrome?;)
Vinod Joseph
July 21, 2008
04:32 AM
Most people don't have the guts to pursue their passion single-mindedly. Society has certain parameters to measure success and every twenty year old wants all of them as soon as s/he starts working. Also, workaholism is the only socially accepted addiction.
Deepti Lamba
URL
July 21, 2008
06:16 AM
Vinod, frankly I envy the French;)
Vinod Joseph
July 22, 2008
06:45 AM
Deepti, I am not too sure how long the French will be able to sustain their lifestyles. I see droves of young French people coming to the UK and working very hard - like any other immigrants!
Deepti Lamba
URL
July 22, 2008
09:24 AM
Vinod, I'm not disputing their work ethics but in their country they do know how to balance work and family life:)
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