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It's Either Forgive or Forget
IdeaSmith
Forgiveness, that elusive quality, is so not like forgetfulness.
To truly forgive would mean being able to face the truth of what has been done to you and accept it for the rightest thing that could have happened and move on.
Barring that of course, for us less worthy mortals, there is forgetfulness which is a form of escapism. It's where one can pretend that the person one hasn't forgiven has been slain and buried. And they are a whole new person with a future one looks forward to knowing. The past and it's memories must die for the present and it's future to be born.
For the really unforgettable wounds, there's that shiny, hard coat on one's emotions. First we call it glazing, with eyes turning glassy-hard, then words coagulating into artificial sugar-hard sweetness and finally the heart freezing into diamond-hard indifference.
The shining is all for you, dear love, dear friend. In honour of relationships so deep that every emotion, even betrayal must be honoured, even if only by quenchless pain.
It's Either Forgive or Forget
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rumana husain
URL
April 1, 2008
12:28 PM
forgiving quells stress. have experienced it...but it is never as easy as it seems.
temporal
URL
April 1, 2008
03:35 PM
(not mine)
good to forgive
best to forget
living we fret
dying we live
IdeaSmith
URL
April 2, 2008
01:09 AM
@ rumana husain: Does it? I find I'm even more stressed when I'm trying hard to forgive the person. I find it easier to just give in and say "I'm still angry. And that's that."
@ temporal: That's well-written. But is it really possible? It seems to tear the very soul out of one having to forgive and forget those who've hurt us.
Deepti Lamba
URL
April 2, 2008
03:20 AM
As such it depends upon the severity of hurt and passage of time.
Ayan Roy
URL
April 2, 2008
08:32 AM
It might seem somewhat inhuman and impossible, but there is apparently a way superior to forgiveness (not forgetting).
The sixth verse of the "Eight Verses of Thought Transformation" (an almost impossible, Godlike code of conduct for Buddhists) states:
"When somebody whom I have benefited and in whom I have great hopes gives me terrible harm, I shall regard that person as my holy guru."
What it means is that you should be thankful and grateful to the person who has caused you harm, as he/she is testing your patience and resolve. This goes further than forgiving and forgetting..
Love and peace to all,
Ayan
IdeaSmith
URL
April 2, 2008
08:51 AM
@ Deepti: That's true. An I'm thinking of the severest, most painful hurts of all - the ones inflicted by those one has trusted deeply.
@ Ayan Roy: You are right; it does seem impossible, Godly almost! But it's a beautiful thought and one worth striving toward. Thank you for sharing it.
Sumanth
April 2, 2008
10:15 AM
Forgive and Be Free!!
One has to choose between forgiveness and freedom.
Is there a real meaning to life?
The greatest contributions to my life has always been made by people, whom I resisted most in forgiving.
temporal
URL
April 2, 2008
02:44 PM
IS:
who said it is "easy"
:)
the easy things are on the wrong side of the bridge named sin that one reaches via don't blvd.
time, friends/family and therapy enable one to face the demons
and eventually most are forgiven or forgotten
that is how She programmed us
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