OPINION

Rinku Sachdeva Dies Again Online

March 24, 2008
Deepti Lamba

Rinku Sachdeva was allegedly suffocated to death by a pillow. Thereafter Amit Budhiraja allegedly hung himself to death. She was a Scorpio and he a Leo. She was from Mumbai and he a Delhiite. She was an outgoing Sikhni and he a Punjabi boy.

Their marriage was doomed from the beginning. He wanted perfection in love and she - who knows what she wanted. She is dead and he allegedly killed her. He claimed she had an affair but who knows?

In the online world, she has been tried and found guilty. They believe she was a promiscuous c$%#*& who deserved what came to her. They have murdered her again - believed his six page rant verbatim, where he alleged her ongoing affair, that her immoral potential blackmail of 498a drove him to kill her and commit suicide on a Holi night.

All of this is his side of the story but what was her side of the story? Does any one care? Was he an obsessive, conservative, insanely jealous man, blaming his marital troubles on platonic friends?

Could that not be her version? How are we to know? Even if she did fall for someone else, was that reason enough to kill? 

Crime of passion or pre-meditated murder - no one deserves to die when it comes to matters of the heart.

Two young lives snuffed, grieving families left behind and plenty of fodder left for the online world to moralize, pontificate and deride.

Deepti Lamba is a writer, an editor for Desicritics. She can be found at Things That Bang
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#1
Ms. Anona
March 24, 2008
12:24 PM

Yikes! I think it would be a little weird to me, if I was not formally introduced to this culture, to see the victim to be hated more than the murderer, but because I know people like my husband, I need no explanation.
I have no Orkut or MySpace account, so I hope you guys won't mind my eulogy/ hateful remarks to be placed right here on DC. The world has abandoned me. I like to call it creative suicide, maybe they are right to blame both equally.

Peace.

#2
temporal
URL
March 24, 2008
12:59 PM

dee:

Two young lives snuffed, grieving families left behind and plenty of fodder left for the online world to moralize, pontificate and deride.

over at the von siffers nary a word of sympathy

they jumped straight into their agenda

lying and distorting

and then they expect justice!

#3
Sumanth
March 24, 2008
01:06 PM

How often do we write when men die hundred deaths again and again?

When actor Kunal Singh committed suicide, one person wrote in a famous newsportal,"Many people committed suicide by watching his bad acting. Finally, Kunal must have accidentally seen his own movie. So, he committed suicide."

Indians are insensitive. Indians are insensitive in online world. I have seen enough insensitive people in DC as well. Insensitive people can say or do anything.

"They have murdered her again - believed his six page rant verbatim, where he alleged her ongoing affair...."

The suicide note of a husband is to be given exactly same weightage as suicide note of any wife.

Thousands of husbands and their family members are convicted and jailed merely based on suicide notes of women.

How come suicide note of a man is a rant and suicide note of a woman is "absolute truth".

-----------------
It is fear of a dowry harassment case on him and his family (not affair of wife) that pushed Amit Budhiraj the last inch.
-----------------

Rinku Sachdeva can not be blamed even if she had an affair.

The lack of support system for abused, distressed men along with discrimination of men is judiciary is the reason for this unfortunate incident.

Only, patriarchal morons blamed her as for them only men can have extra-marital affairs and women can not have one.

It can not be denied that the marriage was not working and there must have been some abuse involved. The fear of a harassment case cornered the Amit.

-------------
Society believes suicide notes of women. So, its not at all strange if society now chooses to believe in suicide note of a man.
-------------

"Crime of passion or pre-meditated murder - no one deserves to die when it comes to matters of the heart."

What about Kiranjeet Ahluwalia, who collected petrol to set her husband on fire? Was not it pre-meditated?

Why is the murder of her husband by Kiranjeet Ahluwalia glorified so much?



#4
bharati
URL
March 24, 2008
01:06 PM


Did Amit watch that Men do not get justice in court after watching TV and decided to give his own private justice after all men do not individual or social justice in the indian society and court. I do not know . but all I can say is that misuse of 498a is seen as harmless sport for society .

I know many feminists agree there is adultery but bristle when pointing out to one adulterous women.Somehow want to defend . Why cannot we accept yes a women could have been adulterous.

I wonder what would have happened if he had tried to file for divorce on grounds of adultery . The Feminist based and trained judges and the family courts reconciliator would tried to tell him he was "suspicious " and probably made him recant like galileo was made to recant that erth moved around the sun. Maybe like the famous galelios silent statement Amit would have said " but it happens".Maybe he should have seen his parents jailed in a false dowry case . After all he is a husband how dare he suspect a women of adultery .he should have gone to jail on a false dowry case. how dare he cheat the society of the sadistic plesure of seeing a man suffer under the womens laws.

#5
bharati
URL
March 24, 2008
01:13 PM

Karanjit walia the murderer had a whole book wirtten in her sympathy , a moview ritten in her sympathy whats a few blog

#6
temporal
URL
March 24, 2008
01:35 PM

instead of sympathy, understanding and compassion

the von siffer brigade is spreading the usual hatred , propaganda and lies

shame

shame for business-as-usual over dead bodies

#7
vardhan
March 24, 2008
01:49 PM

@ instead of sympathy, understanding and compassion today

SIF infact show it everyday, I vouch for it as I see the help rendered to many people. SIF is not screaming today for the sake of screaming.

There is a need to reach out to possible Amits and Rinkus and make them take the right path. Here the victims don't die an online death. But they need to be understood in the real sense of social dynamics.

SIF has a lot of patience. The methods of SIF of exemplary. There is no parallel to such a movement in contemporary India where software engineers help people who reside far away from India as well the rickshaw drivers.

Let us not make this debate of lies and SIF. I know SIF and some misinformed people think SIF as "LIE STRATEGY".

Our is a HENPECKED country packakged as patriachial society. Dowry itself is a foreign word. It somehow made its place in our social dynamics and today played an important role in the loss of Rinku/Amit. If the laws were not bipartisan, and divorce was easier, this would have not happened and both SIF and this blog would not exist.


#8
FF
March 24, 2008
02:16 PM

Is there a bigger truth than a dying man's declaration. Even the court assumes it is a strong evidence.

If a six page dying man's declaration is not enough to open the eyes of pseudo liberals, I presume they are born blind.

#9
Vardhan
March 24, 2008
02:25 PM

The sixpage suicide note by Amit was not written to satisfy pseudo liberals. It was written to tell his version so that people understand the falseness he had to deal with in his life.

We need to look at the real problems faced by such men and seek remedies. Not because pseudo liberals need to be satisfied or to save Rinku.

The real problems lie outside his marriage
a) BLATANT CONSUMERISM, the fact that Rinku wanted to see a movie with her friend in the evening but not with him
b) RELATIONSHIP: So many couples seek rooms with two bedrooms , especially in China. His suicide letter mentioned they were not compatible
c) EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIRS: India men cannot accuse their wives under current laws. Else she could be cuaght red handed.
d) DIVORCE: Divorce without getting onto streets is inevitable.
e) FALSE LAWS: .... so many...
f) TIME: No time for each other

These are the points of debate for suicide note.

#10
AnArch
URL
March 24, 2008
02:27 PM

Interesting that even on an article intended to hold the light for the victim, the false prophets of the murderer anoint him saint

#11
temporal
URL
March 24, 2008
02:29 PM

let the police complete its investigation, file charges, court hear the evidence and decide

meanwhile refrain from trolling, gloating (and chasing your tails)

#12
Vardhan
March 24, 2008
02:30 PM

[Conjecture removed - Please stick to subject]

#13
Vardhan
March 24, 2008
02:33 PM

well well@ temporal,

In 100% mens case, no investigation is done. we are put right in lockers and media cries foul!
So don't be so judgemental and cry wolf!

#14
Kumar
URL
March 24, 2008
03:06 PM

[Trolling and blaberring edited. Hate Speech not tolerated]

#15
Sumanth
March 24, 2008
03:23 PM

[stop repeating please]

#16
AnArch
URL
March 24, 2008
03:28 PM

Do you deny he killed her? You justify this with airy-fairy tales

The article nowhere makes any accusations, in fact it takes pains to avoid any accusations, pointing out that even the 'jealousy' could be 'her' version.

You condone murder

#17
Sumanth
March 24, 2008
03:45 PM

[please stop repeating]

#18
Joy
URL
March 24, 2008
03:48 PM

[no conjectures]

#19
Sumanth
March 24, 2008
04:02 PM

[stop repeating please]

#20
Sumanth
March 24, 2008
04:06 PM

[you are repeating -trolling]

#21
Sumanth
March 24, 2008
04:12 PM

Why are my comments censored? I did not repeat. I did not troll.

Have some courage to argue or else ban my ID.

#22
Sumanth
March 24, 2008
04:16 PM

[you are repeating and arguing with yourself - that is trolling]

#23
Sumanth
March 24, 2008
04:28 PM

Amit Budhiraj was not insanely jealous:[conjectures repeated and edited]

#24
Sumanth
March 24, 2008
04:30 PM

Do not provoke me with new standards of worst kind of censorship in DC.
[please stop frothing, threatening, and trollning]

#25
Sumanth
March 24, 2008
04:33 PM

"you are repeating and arguing with yourself"

How do you know that you are not doing that to yourself?

#26
Sumanth
March 24, 2008
04:34 PM

Amit Budhiraj was not insanely jealous:
------------------------------
=> Any man who fears jailing of his parents by his wife and has constant fights with wife, can not love her. A man who is not truly in love with a woman can not be jealous, forget being insanely

jealous.

I know abused men offering their wives for marriage in DC some years back. So, thats the typical jealously levels of any man fearing dowry case.

Amit Budhiraj was not conservative:

=> A conservative man thinks of divorce in case of any marital problem. Amit went against this natural conservative thought process and refused divorce, which is un-imaginable for a conservative.

Amit decided based on rational calculations than based on conservative instincts.

He had a post graduate degree and he was a manager. A insane or irresponsible person who blames others always can not survive in a corporate.
----------------------

It would be a great mistake the dismiss the whole issue as a desperate act by an insanely jealous man. Because, lives of thousands of women are at stake unless they learn a lesson here.

#27
Reshma Mohiyiddin
March 24, 2008
07:35 PM

I would in plain words say that Amit was insane. First of all he had the mental strength to murder his wife afterwhich he sat and wrote a 6 page suicide note.Crazy , i must say.

#28
annony
March 24, 2008
08:27 PM

women think they can detach from soemone with te sam intensity as getting attached. it is not easy wit the men.somewhere both were responsible for the whole thing and if u say amit was inane love makes the most intelligent person inane why wud someone with such a flying carrier get rid of his own life otherwise?

#29
Vardhan
March 24, 2008
10:20 PM

It is no use to argue here. It is really crap where the feminists have their own idealogy to showcase.

hats off to DC! and let peace be with you.
The Indian male species has no meaning up here. The article has made no mention of the pains that Amit had to undergo. This is disgusting to the core.

#30
Kumar
URL
March 24, 2008
10:29 PM

Amit was a Martyr.He was a hero at suicide. I salute my hero.He died saving the honor of society which was deteriorating. I rate him as a soldier who died for a good cause. Everyone die one fine day but he died a hero's death.

He thought feminists and the lady hugging judiciary a lesson to learn. [EDITED - VAGUE THREATS]

Its time for judiciary to rethink and bring justice to all irrespective of their gender.

IT professionals and NRI's are the main targets of dowry law misuse. This has become a big business for lawyers who make crores of rupees by getting the cases.



#31
temporal
URL
March 24, 2008
10:43 PM

37 and other von siffers

a pathetic bunch of delusional losers!

#32
Egg-jaktly
March 24, 2008
10:57 PM

"Crime of passion or pre-meditated murder - no one deserves to die when it comes to matters of the heart."
You are right... But in this case the matter of heart was also feared of becoming the matter of court, and then the story becomes entirely different... And we all know how REAL that fear is...

Although above is certainly not my justification of the killing, but today's law situation certainly has the potential of driving married men to this stage...

#33
Vardhan
March 24, 2008
10:58 PM

#38 and all feminist vampires

The murderers of Justice! The back stabbers!

#34
Sumanth
March 24, 2008
11:51 PM

"Dowry law is a Shield, not an Assassin's Weapon", Supreme said this.

Who is Assassin here? A woman who filed or threatens to file a false dowry case and get husband and his entire family jailed.

What will one do when one is forced to live with a potential assassin?

Its like "Sleeping with an Assassin?"

A man has no where to go as he gets hunted like a animal from all sides (judiciary, police, society and even friends). Society, friends, judiciary, even company trust the false tears of assassin.

Supreme Court also warned of "legal terrorism" due to false dowry cases. Who is a terrorist here? A woman who files false dowry cases.

Can a man remain sane living with an assassin or terrorist day by day?

Please note, I am using these terms straight from Supreme Court of India Judgement.

#35
Anjali
March 24, 2008
11:59 PM

Please let us give Rinku some respect. Her family members might be reading this website.

My earnest request to the editors.

Freedom of speech can exist for other articles.

#36
temporal
URL
March 25, 2008
12:00 AM

sumanth

lying

or


trolling?

#37
Anjali
March 25, 2008
12:07 AM

And for those idiots who compare Amit to Kiranjith, please read the book, watch the movie and do some case study on Provoked.

Kiranjit after the crime, went ahead and CONFESSED AND ADMITTED TO THE CRIME. That requires GUTS (which men like amit had no balls).

Kiranjit like any other criminal spent time in jail and fought her case legally and openly. And after years, she was let go.

Did Amit have the balls?

So Sumanth # 3 (personal attack deleted), that is why Ms Kiranjit Ahulwalia is GLORIFIED becasue she did not commit suicide after the murder of her husband. She believed in herself and her life and thus life stayed with her. She deserves the freedom. Do you have the balls to come out with your name and contact?

#38
Vardhan
March 25, 2008
12:38 AM

[Conjectural trolling edited]

#39
temporal
URL
March 25, 2008
12:44 AM

Please refer to the comment policy. No personal attacks and no trolling or your comments will be edited/deleted

#40
Anjali
March 25, 2008
01:58 AM

Amit would use network sniffers to peep into what was happening in others' desktops,"--said one

People used to be very careful of their computer security as they knew that there was a 'Peeping Tom' monitoring their actions. Amit used a software called Iris to replicate what was displayed on a desktop,"---said another

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/2892122.cms

Obviously his friends are not standing by him either.

It is very clear that Amit had "Peeping Tom" problems.
This is abnormal as it reflects he had psychosomatic problems.
He needed psychiatric help.
He derived sadistic thrill from invading other people's privacy because he had nothing better to do in life.
Prying around other people's desktops, suspecting your wife is nothing but a figment of his crazy demented imagination .
Being a marketing executive, obviously she would be networking, which led him to believe that she was allegedly not loyal to him.
He was disgustingly paranoid and his wife had to bare the brunt of it.

A psychotic guy like Amit who suffered from psychosomatic problems, snooped on his friends desktops are obviously signs of insecurities that Amit suffered and he was not ready for an outgoing smart marketing executive wife.



#41
Nagesh
March 25, 2008
02:04 AM

[multi nicks not allowed]

#42
Vardhan
March 25, 2008
02:12 AM

If amit was psychotic as you referred and suffered from othello's syndrome, then the buck stops here. I will not continue my rant.

Otherwise, I can only blame law. Such laws need to removed from the roots.

#43
Sumanth
March 25, 2008
02:32 AM

Even if I accept that Amit Budhiraja was insane at some point of time, then who is responsible for it?

A society and a biased judiciary which hunts young men and prevents them from from communicating their problems.

[conjectures edited]

#44
Sumanth
March 25, 2008
02:47 AM

[conjecture edited]

#45
Sumanth
March 25, 2008
02:48 AM

If conjectures are to be edited, then why the author has written conjectures in the article that Amit is insanely jealous and conservative?

#46
Sumanth
March 25, 2008
02:53 AM

Anjali,

"A psychotic guy, like Amit who suffered from psychosomatic problems,"

So, how do you propose to save women from so called psychotics?

By threating the psychotics further claiming that laws will deter psychotics?

Do not think about saving men who are disposable in any case. Just think of saving women now.

The feminists have driven Rinku to death because they made her falsely believe that a man is powerful and he has capacity to bear any amount of fear?

Calling Amit a psychotic does not solve any problem from feminists.

Today, some male bastards go to their sister's house with goons and threaten her husband. Now, all that is bound to stop.

#47
temporal
URL
March 25, 2008
02:57 AM

sumanth

you next?

#48
Vardhan
March 25, 2008
03:02 AM

#45

Temporal is provoking thereby violating comment policy.

Read the comment policy before the proposal. Do you want Sumanth dead, does it satisy you?

#49
Anadiya
URL
March 25, 2008
03:07 AM

I so do love saying I told you so- Sumanth and his ilk have conveniently made a murderer a martyr and his victim murdered by feminists.

Delusions of illusionary fantasies made real by a murderer for the group of men who so want to do what they couldn't do.

Here is the spokesman of SIFF - Sumanth applauding a crime- we all know what the SIFF will say to the victims of DV- Kill the bitches and blame the feminists. Follow the Amit example and become martyrs for the cause.

Watch out men- DV will get you imprisonment but SIFF will get you hung for murder!!

Oh and a poster on their wall of heroes - your choice

The battered lady you keep bringing up was beaten, raped repeatedly - there was domestic abuse. But the SIFFy believe nothing of that sort happened.

She had no where to turn living in foreign land.

But Amit felt blackmailed he could have gone for legal help but he killed ranted and then like a coward tried to excuse his behavior and obviously SIFFErs as usual who believe that Rape is all in the mind, a Slap is much needed when a woman speaks too much (yes- it was FF who said it) now also believe that men who kill and use DV as an excuse is a martyr have once again shown their deviant colors.

Do speak more Sumanth, FF and others - we all know what you are all about.


#50
Vardhn
March 25, 2008
03:22 AM

[trolling]

#51
Vardhan
March 25, 2008
03:24 AM

[trolling]

#52
FF
March 25, 2008
04:10 AM

[entire post conjectural and inflammatory]

#53
Vijay
March 25, 2008
04:31 AM

* If Amit had not taken any dowry, then if he applied for divorce how could Rinku sue him/hisfamily for dowry case?

* If he was smart enough collect enough proof of her adultery via laptop/webcam technique, then this would have been sufficient to get a divorce.

* Now even if she was adultrous what gave him the right to kill rinku?

* If that is the case then in this world, i guess more than 50% of the ladies would have the moral right kill their husbands !

* Lets just reverse the roles, if Rinku had suspected Amit of adultery, killed him and then committed suicide how would have been the public reaction? they would have said that Rinku was barbaric.

If a person commits suicide does not mean that all of his statements are correct/logical

So lets us be logical and not blame Rinku for everything.

#54
vardhan
March 25, 2008
04:49 AM

* If Amit had not taken any dowry, then if he applied for divorce how could Rinku sue him/hisfamily for dowry case?

dowry harrasment is crime and you are jailed. You need no proof. Please read the law on section 498A .

#55
Vardhan
March 25, 2008
04:53 AM

* If he was smart enough collect enough proof of her adultery via laptop/webcam technique, then this would have been sufficient to get a divorce.

Show me one judgement in india where this was done. How easy it is to prove adultery and get divorce. Do we need to so all this natak. Cant one get divorce in a proper way.

#56
FF
March 25, 2008
05:14 AM

Vijay, All your points are very logical and balanced.

They did not occur to lesser beings like us. Now that you have shared all these socio-political-legal intricacies with us, we will brain storm all these points and issue a better politically correct statement.

Sorry, I can unable to reply to you beyond this, as any such attempts will eventually get filtered out. However you can continue the discussion at

[EDITED - BUY AN AD]

#57
Sumanth
March 25, 2008
05:18 AM

Vijay in comment 53,

The reason for murder is fear of a false dowry case on him and his parents. A false dowry case can kill people, especially the elderly. A false dowry case is one of the most traumatic experience as the procedures related to dowry cases are extremely harsh on families. If dowry law can kill and hence Amit can not be blamed even though I do not support what he did. He was driven to a state of helplessness by a judgemental society/judiciary.

"If a person commits suicide does not mean that all of his statements are correct/logical."

Will you then agree that if a woman commits suicide, it does not mean that all of her statements are correct or logical?

Unfortunately, women's statements (suicide notes) were always considered as correct and logical by judiciary, media and society.

So, now logical or not, a man's suicide note has to be accepted as correct.

Otherwise, there will be two standards for women and men regarding suicide notes. Why women have to be given advantage even though it is proven by western statistics that "women are born liars".(I can provide the link).

So, it is perfectly logical to accept a man's suicide note as correct as the society always accepted women's suicide notes or dying declarations.

It is a fact that thousands of men are driven to suicide by wives every year and society/judiciary never punish these women.

See, it is logical for everyone to expect "gender equality" in the way individuals are treated in a society or in judiciary.

Only patriarchal mindsets and radical feminists do not want gender equality.

See, the deliberate hatred against men created in the name of "harassment of women" in the society in backfiring now.


#58
Sumanth
March 25, 2008
05:27 AM

Who told that 50% of men are adulterous?

In fact, it has been found that the "adulterous men" theory is proven mathematically to be false.

The adultery of men and women is same. It is not mathematically or logically possible for different adultery rates for men and women.

That shows the logical capabilities of the champions of "logic".
------------------

If a man produces video of his man having sex with another man, even then he will not get divorce.

In fact, the man will get jailed for defaming the so called innocent woman. The man will be told to be broadminded and keep the wife as marriage is sacrosanct in India. If he has children, he will be told to tolerate for the sake of children.

According to Indian DV law, the boyfriend of one's wife can also stay in the same house in the name of protecting her.

One guy came to me, who had seen his wife having sex with a younger guy many times. The wife threatens him of false dowry case and the guy threatens him that he will commit suicide if he is implicated.

What will such a man do?

Should he Adultery like Ajay Devgun of Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam?

#59
Sumanth
March 25, 2008
05:36 AM

Today, a wife killed her husband in Bangalore by smashing his head with a stone.

Now, tell me, do you have any sympathy for that man?

No. You all will say, he must have been a drunkard. he must have been beating her. Blah...Blah....

So, a man' death is easily accepted. Just like the death of Kunal Singh or death of SIF member Pushkar Singh is easily dismissed and police even failed to file FIR saying they can not file a FIR against woman.

For you all, Men are Disposable.

A woman's suicide or death makes it to front page of newspaper, where as man's death and suicide remains in a corner in 3rd page.

Amit decided in which page he wanted himself to be. Accept the brutal truth that.Men are considered Disposable in Society.

Even today, these illogical morons falsely argue that men commit suicide due to professional reasons where as women commit suicide due to family reasons.

That is complete bullshit (Source: ncrb.nic.in) . Still, they push it in the name of logical and rational thinking.

#60
Anadiya
URL
March 25, 2008
06:31 AM

Sumanth, you already made up your mind what others would think of the incident. So caught up are you in your little delusional world.

She will be taken in custody, a case will be lodged against her for manslaughter and she will see her day in court. She took the law in her hands and she has is accountable to the judiciary not the likes of you who praise murderers and excuse rapists.

We know you all well. You weaken your cause when you open your mouth- men aren't disposable but people like you think so or else how will you get on with your victim mindset?

Don't like women - don't have relationships with women or better make a Sifferonlyshaadi.com site and marry each other sisters.

Good solution or else your numbers will dwindle! HAHA



#61
TM
March 25, 2008
06:35 AM

If I were in Amit's/Rinku's shoes I'd inform my parents, in-laws and close friends about the whole situation and involve them into the loop. Everybody should remain in the same page and there could be greater degree of transparency in the already troubled relationship. I would also seek help from marriage counsellor. Finally, if all options shows negative returns, I'd file for divorce! Isn't that simple?

Communication is the key in all relationship. And Life is more valuable than successful/failed marriages.

#62
vardhan
March 25, 2008
07:13 AM

who is we?

the NCW, all women in NCW are unmarried or divorced. you speak for them?

#63
Vardhan
March 25, 2008
07:16 AM

# ah, you mean the CAW uncle, how much money you pay to them to get your complaint registered?

#64
Vardhan
March 25, 2008
07:18 AM

who are victims?

DV victims are terrorists who will do anything to get money. Even pay money to police, file false cases.
[EDITED - PERSONAL ATTACK - BE NICE OR LEAVE]

#65
Ms. Anona
March 25, 2008
09:51 AM

I am so confused by you people and your talk on dowry laws. Will someone please give the 101 on what this is all about or where I can read a simplified version for dumbified viewers?

The Internet has desensitized all of us. Mark my word, sooner or later there will be a case where someone needs help and only has access to an Internet and their calls could have saved their life, but were ignored.

#66
Preeti
March 25, 2008
10:35 AM

Sumanth,

You are responsible for Amit and his actions. I agree with Anadiya in # 49

You spread false propoganda on the internet. Instilled fear about the laws and people like Amit misuse them.

Rinku is dead and we cannot know now what she "would have done". Based on presumptions on "what she would have done", Amit had no right to kill her.

And I do not want to beleive a murderors last words who committed suicide.

No one cared a fucking shit when Amit was missing for a day. It was her friends who got worried, came to her house and involved the cops to have her door opened.

Amit lived in Bangalore for 9 years and he had no friends who cared, cared for his life or cared if he was missing.

Rinku had only lived in Bangalore for less than 1 year and already had tons of friends. She was succesful marketing executive who had a social life and no snooping-around problems.

Amits own friends were fed up of his spying dirty habbit.

Amit was a loner and wanted to possess his wife.

In his last words, he decided to use the fear of the law to get some pity.(thanks to your false claims) But you know it ain't working because, people are hating him more than ever. Both men and women.

#67
Aaman
URL
March 25, 2008
10:59 AM

Recalling Savage Garden ("Affirmation"),


I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy

I believe that your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires


Even if there were transgressions, are we Taliban to kill an individual for them?

#68
bharati
URL
March 25, 2008
11:26 AM

Enjoy.
Karnajit Walia killed in cold blood. Amit in heat of moment. Thats key difference. Of course karnajit wrote her story tutored by feminists.
and her husband was not there to give his perspective of the story

but enjoy becuase threatening a false dowry case is injurious to your own health

#69
Anamika
March 25, 2008
12:31 PM

DC editors - guess you lot are working overtime but even the posts you are letting remain walk a very fine line toward defamation (of Rinku Sachdeva) and hate speech.

Deepti: Thanks for the piece. It was overdue after the s--t on the other thread.

The SIFFers need to be pulled up for defaming a dead woman without proof as well as spewing misogynist propaganda. As a complete outsider, I can feel my stomach turn at the "martyr" shit these @*&%s are coming up with. I wonder about the reaction of someone who was actually close to the dead woman.

Guess the internet lets these cowards lose all notions of common decency! Not one of them of course will dare speak openly without a web-handle. Same sort of men who participate in stoning and mob-style "honour killings" in places like Afghanistan and Saudi! Its just sick that they are allowed to air their views on DC!

#70
Avinash
March 25, 2008
12:44 PM

Bharti

We know what your past is and how you are the epitome of an irresponsible father. My personal interaction with you is proof enough. This is not a personal attack but a fact. Hope you take it in the right sense and have the guts to admit it.

There is key difference between Kiranjeet and Amit and i.e. that Kiranjeet admitted to her crime and surrendered and faced trial boldly and the consequences

Unlike Amit who committed suicide after committing a murder. How do we know he was not demanding dowry after all his wife had a successful career.

Amit was a demented heinous coward alright who had no friends and no life.

And Bahrati we know the crucial wicked role you play in instigating men and instigating fear in them about false dowry cases that is nothing but your hallucination. That way you make sure get your clientele is running and flourishing. Amit is nothing but a prey of your false propaganda and Rinku is a victim of your vicious game .

Amit's action has opened a can of worms and sniffers are now cornered. Why? Because Amit is receiving the bricks and the shame . Even his own friends are not standing by him. Rumor has it that he was a lonely man with no friends. He spied on other people's personal information, hid cameras in his own wife's room and his imagination got the better of him.

He had no right to kill his 28 year old wife. You cannot kill people, you face life and what it doles out to you. But obviously he was not man enough.

#71
Vardhan
March 25, 2008
12:52 PM

Avinash

who is we?

#72
Avinash
March 25, 2008
12:56 PM

Anamika

The same has been pointed out by Anadiya, Anjali and me several times. DC is the only sane forum of repute that allows these sniffers to express their views in the name of 'freedom of speech'

Every time Sumanth comes here and spews the lies on false dowry cases he is doing nothing but instilling fear in men/husbands and ruining their marriages. Husbands start doubting their wives, watch their every move, spy on them, pick fights with them and go to court to seek AB and it thus creates upheavals in marriages. This is nothing but a false propaganda to increase his membership database and fulfill his political dreams at the expense of broken marriages. He cares shit about the safety of men and their welfare.

I can only imagine the parents, siblings, friends and relatives of Rinku and the trauma of loosing a child who was only 28 years old and was murdered under the most cruel circumstances by a criminal LUNATIC who already had a past of psychotic spying disorders at workplace -which actually is a crime.

It would hurt them to see comments by sniifers on this website. Please note Rinku was not a famous personality that we can write/comment on her or let the sniffer malign her character. Her unfortunate murder might have fetched her the headlines but that was purely incidental.



#73
Avinash
March 25, 2008
01:00 PM

We is my wife and my family. We speak for each other.

Your question does not surprise me as you do not know or are not privileged to have that option.

#74
Vardhan
March 25, 2008
01:01 PM

Dowry cases are false. Avinash@ don't misguide people that they won't be hit.

I never thought I will be hit by false cases. But history has shown you can be hit.

#75
Vardhan
March 25, 2008
01:05 PM

Avinash

I also have a father, mother and also I had a wife . I spent 2 lakhs on her operation in Bangalore. I did everything, but I have a false case on me. I only married for 4 months.

Personal attacks aside, your ignorance about family values among people like me does not surprise me for you think you are elite.

#76
Avinash
March 25, 2008
01:10 PM

Cut the crap about your family and shit. I did not ask you any question like the way you asked me

"who is we?"


The way you speak and sound, it does not surprise me that you got hit by a case. Bring your wife here on this forum and then we can judge. Is she alive?

#77
Vardhan
March 25, 2008
01:17 PM

is she alive,

yes she is alive.

#78
Vardhan
March 25, 2008
01:21 PM

let us not get personal, you said we, I wanted to know who we was.

Let us meet when in bangalore and I will meet you over.

#79
FF
URL
March 25, 2008
01:26 PM

The tables are turning even if slowly.

I am itching to move out of web to a platform where I can expose these radical feminist who roam around freely as goons of the city , patrolling and claiming themselves to be owners of that self appointed chair of social demeanor, decency and morality but backstabbing the entire human race by establishing ever burgeoning pockets of terror and misandry.

There past and present is laden with lives of millions of their hapless victims like Amit who are forced to deaths while they preach of Afghanistan and Saudi from where they draw their primordial inspirations from.

If it is sick for them to be reading our expose, then that serves the purpose for the ultimate goodness of humankind. For the @*&%s that they are, they will have the hottest and filthiest of chambers in hell where they are eventually destined for.

If they have the guts they can prove to themselves if anybody here has defamed that mortal being whom they draw their instinctive inspirations from.

All around you will have the aversive remains of feminists defiling Amit's reputation. And when you talk of double standards, who better than those feminists, who demand censorship at DC for everything but for their own profanity.

#80
Avinash
March 25, 2008
01:30 PM

FF

Let us talk on sunday evening over the conf call :)

Make sure you expose the feminists after you expose your self.

now now..dont sound like Gorky... you dont want to offend your indian counter parts becuase after all you are all at their mercy.

Only if gorky know the choicest words you all use on him, the tables would turn on you all.

#81
Aaman
URL
March 25, 2008
02:16 PM

Readers are welcome to bring objectionable comments to the editors attention either at desicritics - gmail dot com or desicritics.editors - gmail dot com

#82
Sumanth
March 25, 2008
02:18 PM

Latest facts about the incident:
--------------------------------

1. Amit's suicide note is of eight pages.

2. Police have got the recordings he made using his laptop. Though not so clear a lot has been got, the guy is one Rajesh from Standard Chartered Bank.

If suicide note has 8 pages, then Amit's mental state can be clearly estimated from the note. It can also be clearly established if he is lying as lies will be difficult to "integrate".
------------
No law can deter a man if he is abused and is in distressed state. It is a terrible miscalculation by law makers and feminists, who passed harsh laws to threaten and corner innocent men.
------------

Yes. The law should hang men. Amit did not give that chance to judiciary, he hung himself.

Kiranjeet Ahluwalia knew that society is always sympathetic to women and female criminals who rarely get "death sentences" and often get very low sentences. The same was not the case with Amit as he knew that men are considered guilty by default and are considered disposable.

If he had been alive, next day we would have seen stories of "dowry death" and NCW in front page newspapers and he and his innocent parents would have been behind bars for 6 to 9 months.
-------------------

Where is Pramila Nesargi? Where is Donna Fernandez? Where is Hema Deshpande?

Where are all Bangalore feminists hiding? If they are right, then come out and debate with SIF activists.

We will get all their gender sensitivity text books by RTI act.
--------------------

#83
Avinash
March 25, 2008
02:32 PM

If Amit was alive, he knew he had no hope because sniffer would have used him to garner future votes. He did not want to be a sniffer pawn. The reputation of sniffers is well on here and in Infosys

sniffers cannot safe their own kin, leave alone Amit.

Everyone here has already figured out Amit's mental and obsessive state. What with his friends openly admitting he use to pry on them--which is a crime by itself.

If sniffers have the guts, come out in the open and discuss with us. No hiding behind fake names.

#84
Philip P Eapen
March 25, 2008
05:15 PM

It is said that the world will have two opposing views about a guy who dares to murder his mother! What a wierd world are we living in? People take law into their own hands and punish others; and then, they judge themselves and end their lives!

#85
Avinash
March 25, 2008
07:53 PM

Amit was so convinced about the presumptions he had..(which is anyway hogwash)then...

He could have killed his own parents and then himself. That way he could have solved the problem permanently- the fear that he had about false case ( which is BS anyways). This is the best solution.

I would highly recommend Rinku's parents to file a case on Amit's parents on possibly "instigating their son to kill his wife".

The doubt can easily be placed on Amit's mother in whose name he has left his entire property. The parents already might have known that they have a lunatic crazy son, so it was easy to influence him and get him and his wife out of the way so that they could enjoy his money.

His parents can even NOW be placed behind bars easily.

If Amit's action was such a sacrifice and some &#@#$# asses think of him to a fucking martyr, the truth of the matter is that he has shamed his parents for the rest of their life and left them behind with legal implications.

Karma karma karma...it all comes back. Amit's parents sowed some seeds and they will bear the fruit now.

Hozzat that Sumanth??? Stop jumping around now. It is all over for you anyways.

People who support murder, even they belong behind bars. Because it shows they can take the law in their own hands if needed and you all are a danger to the society.

#86
Avinash
March 25, 2008
07:54 PM

Amit was so convinced about the presumptions he had..(which is anyway hogwash)then...

He could have killed his own parents and then himself. That way he could have solved the problem permanently- the fear that he had about false case ( which is BS anyways). This is the best solution.

I would highly recommend Rinku's parents to file a case on Amit's parents on possibly "instigating their son to kill his wife".

The doubt can easily be placed on Amit's mother in whose name he has left his entire property. The parents already might have known that they have a lunatic crazy son, so it was easy to influence him and get him and his wife out of the way so that they could enjoy his money.

His parents can even NOW be placed behind bars easily.

If Amit's action was such a sacrifice and some &#@#$# asses think of him to a fucking martyr, the truth of the matter is that he has shamed his parents for the rest of their life and left them behind with legal implications.

Karma karma karma...it all comes back. Amit's parents sowed some seeds and they will bear the fruit now.

Hozzat that Sumanth??? Stop jumping around now. It is all over for you anyways.

People who support murder, even they belong behind bars.

#87
temporal
URL
March 25, 2008
08:40 PM

ana:

it is fun

wanna join?

;)

less seriously,

they come here when they run out of soap

#88
Nishant
March 25, 2008
09:37 PM

I agree that Amit did not have any option. Consier the situation. Your wife talking to her lover in your house and talking of filing a false harassment case against you. What women don't realize is that the unjust laws like the dowry law and Domestic Violence Law are pushing men towards the edge. I can tell you what Amit's future would have been - He and his parents would have been behind bars due to the false dowry allegations that Amit alleges that Rinku was contemplating. Generally, husbands have to shell out anything from 5 Lakhs to 4 crores to the wife to "compromise" so that she takes the case back. That is when the husband had been a gentleman (like described by Amit's colleagues). The threat of false accusations and seeing his family behind bars can push anyone to the brink. Add to that the infidelity (atelast perceived by Amit. We'll never know whether he was right or wrong) by the wife. His future would have been destroyed. He and his family would end up penniless, humiliated and socially destroyed while Rinku would have ended up richer and would probably have led a normal family life with her lover (if one existed).

Who is to blame ? The Ultra feminist laws. Had the threat of a false case not been there, Amit would have probably thought of his future and who knows, maybe this tragedy could have been averted. But when your future is in jail due to a a cheating wife, the injustice gets to a man and he ends up taking law in his own hands.

We should be prepared to see many more Rinkus and Amits unless the laws are made fair and just.

God bless them both. They didn't deserve to die.. just because of the travails of marriage. Its the Law that killed them



I regret the loss of lives.

#89
Ms. Anona
March 25, 2008
10:58 PM

gosh, I still don't get it. This kind of thing happens like everyday in US. Apparently in India it is not so common, so why is everyone jumping around and blaiming the parents, the law, the bad air? wtf, yesterday's news.

#90
santosh
March 26, 2008
01:52 AM

Nishant,

Do not blame the law, the greed of Amit's parents killed Rinku. Amit was a lunatic and it is very obvious.

You talk BS. Name 5 people from sniff who shelled out 4 crores and gave their wife. Just name 5 men.

Amit's parents can be behind bars even now and they can be the number one suspects. His mother will receive all his property. She can still be held for dowry harassment.

Amit felt that if he killed himself,his parents would be free birds? What BS is that? Only he and Sumanth can think of that!!

Avinash,

Well said. The parents of Amit can very well be behind the cold blooded murder of Rinku

Sumanth,

Make and effort to know the details of Kiranjeet Ahulawalia. She admitted her crime and went to jail for that. In fact during her first trial she refused to speak anything against her husband that could have helped her to get a lesser sentence. She refused to do so and was sent to prison for life imprisonment. It was only a few years later a case was reopened and she went to trail again. You would love to maign her but you cannot. The truth is out there. So quit being desperate.

Amit was a lunatic and a coward. His parents knew that about him and ensured to get him out of the way. They can very well be suspects number one and the number one instigators of this murder.

#91
Santosh
March 26, 2008
02:09 AM

Some FACTS about the case.

Here Amit is a BPD, suffering from Othello Syndrome.

Now just see Amit's and Rinku's profile on orlut which is a public profile.

Amits profile

http://www.orkut. com/Profile. aspx?uid= 6633784035094729 133

No pictures of his wife.

Rinku's profile
http://www.orkut. com/Profile. aspx?uid= 4041493452608499 746

Now note the interesting thing. Rinku's profile has her husband's photos but Amits profile does NOT have his wifes photo. If Rinku had truly an affair then the opposite thing would have been true. Rinku has pictures of her husband, her engagement and their first anniversary

Here the hubby simply suspected his wife. His wife did NOT actually have any affair. And due to the high stress levels caused due to the
fear of a false 498a, Amit successfully killed his wife. In such cases of Othello Syndrome the spouses actually succeed in killing their partner and then commit suicide. That is the RULE of this Othello Syndrome.

Just see the link below too.


http://apt.rcpsych. org/cgi/content/ full/10/3/ 207

Risks associated with morbid jealousy

.... Where jealousy gives rise to fatal violence against the
partner, this may be followed by suicide (West, 1965).

#92
Santosh
March 26, 2008
02:13 AM

"Intelligent but an introvert. A globetrotter but one who was distrustful of everything and everyone. This was how Amit Budhiraj's friends summed him up..." (Deccan Herald).

#93
vardhan
March 26, 2008
02:14 AM

Look at my comment # 42, I agree with you santosh.
Only if he is not suffering from that syndrome, then we have an issue, am I right?

#94
Santosh
March 26, 2008
02:27 AM

Amit's detailed suicide note suggests the murder-suicide was carefully planned, say Bangalore police


Bangalore: The Infosys techie who smothered his wife to death and then hanged himself did not commit the crime is a fit of rage.

The murder and the suicide were executed in a carefully planned manner, said the city police.

The detailed and neatly-composed suicide note revealed the working of a calm mind and a steady hand, they added.

Nothing suspicious

Amit Buddhiraja murdered his wife Rinku Sachdeva after he reportedly heard her express her love for her colleague in a telephone conversation on Saturday.

According to his landlord, the couple did not look agitated or disturbed when he saw that morning.

Amit's parents, who spoke to him the same morning, did not sense anything amiss either. Could it be possible that the techie made sure he gave away none of his suspicions or frustrations?

"I'm sure Amit planned it. He was a perfectionist. He took time to do things. When I saw the suicide note, I realised that he had taken this decision a while ago.

The note is neatly composed," Anand Mallik, Amit's uncle told MiD DAY.


-----------------------------------

He was clearly jealous and a lunatic. The law had nothing to do with it. Some people/dogs with vested interests are trying to use this story to garner some publicity.

#95
Anamika
March 26, 2008
05:17 AM

Thanks Temp bhai, but someo of the messages left on this thread are enough to turn my stomach...on the other hand, Avinash, good show! Glad someone has the patience/persistence to counter these sick f...s

#96
Anon
March 26, 2008
06:04 AM

Rinku Sachdeva Dies Again Online...

And so does Amit, thanks to this thread.

I am sure DC is happy that the account has tallied.

#97
Santosh
March 26, 2008
10:37 AM

"I'm sure Amit planned it. He was a perfectionist. He took time to do things. When I saw the suicide note, I realised that he had taken this decision a while ago.

The note is neatly composed," Anand Mallik, Amit's uncle told MiD DAY.

AMITS UNCLE...said this. That says it all. period.


Amit had to justify his actions so he put the blame on Rinku. He knew if he was alive, he would not be spared. So he killed himself too. He was a jealous husband.

#98
Aditi Nadkarni
March 26, 2008
05:04 PM

I cannot imagine how a human being could put a pillow on top of another struggling human being and snuff out their life as that person is under them fighting for one breath. Nowhere during the entire time does this person feel any guilt, any mercy. She must've thrashed around or fought back, gasped and he just continued to hold the pillow on her. Those among you who are trying to justify this murder by citing infidelity have lost your humanity somewhere. Somewhere in you there is a human being who cannot deal with adversity and hence feels the need to justify immorality, lack of humanity and disrespect for human life using reasons such as infidelity and disloyalty. It just goes to show how many murderers-in-the-making there are out there.

Hold your breath for a few seconds. Hold it until you feel like gasping for air and then imagine how it would feel if you weren't allowed to exhale. It is a lot worse than being cheated on because there you have a way out.

I don't care that he committed suicide. It just shows that he was not only inhumane but also a coward.

Infidelity in a marriage is not a unidimensional subject. It has several issues that lead to it. Physical incompatibility to emotional unavailability can result in infidelity. Infidelity can result in breakdown of a marriage but to use it as reason to justify murder!!

Premeditated murder just boils down to inhumane cruelty no matter what twist you put on it. There is no evidence suggesting that Amit suffered from any mental illness either. He was just a vindictive bastard who I have absolutely no sympathy for just because he took the easy way out ...voluntarily.

By comparing it to the Kiranjit Ahluwalia case some of you are just demonstrating your lack of understanding of the judicial system. Amit Buddhiraja was not tried in any court, pronounced guilty/ innocent or evaluated by a psych panel or interrogated by police or a jury. Nothing. Moreover his own relatives have stated that knowing him, it was premeditated, planned.

Murder in cold blood and suicide to escape the consequences.

#99
temporal
URL
March 26, 2008
05:31 PM

adi agree

to hold him as a von-siffer posterboy is sickening and demeneted

and so very deserving (of them)

#100
FF
March 26, 2008
06:31 PM

and so is to hold an expectation of any expression of sanity from the likes of "he who edits"


Aditi, did you really check out on who and how many people applied the fidelity yardstick to sympathize with Amit, or that shooting from hip is your favourite pass time.

Before you let ypur "itch to shout back" bother you, I would suggest you look above and count the number of times the word "infidel" has been mentioned in these posts and by who all.

The infidel angle has been purposely brought in by bunch of a^@#$%es who want to distract the focus from the real underlying cause of this mishap.

#101
temporal
URL
March 26, 2008
06:41 PM

sanity check?

a man smothers a woman with a pillow

very sane

#102
Anamika
March 26, 2008
07:16 PM

sanity check?

a man smothers a woman with a pillow,

having cold-bloodedly planned her murder.

yep, really sane! just the kind of posterboy himmler would have appreciated. or osama...

#103
FF
March 26, 2008
07:27 PM

Any aware, intelligent, perfectionist, security specialist, like Amit was, would always embellish suicide notes with mention of infidelity (acting as the much needed catalyst), to save his parents from being terrorized by this state called India.

Does anyone even realize that any direct expression of false 498A threats or harassment by means of false dowry cases would have put Amit's parents under severe scanner/hazard for the rest of their lives for absolutely no faults of theirs?

Yes, Amit "may" have planned it, just like fake/false 498A threats are planned from day 1 of matrimony.

That, however is not always the case, as for some they hatch out 498A threats, much before the matrimony.

Then I read some rank 1 stupid claims that because amit did not have photos in his orkut album...blah blah.

It makes my stomach churn with laughter, because I have over 10 friends in orkut who have no photo of their spouses and all of them are happily married for over 3 years. Should I tell all of their wives that they are going to be killed by their husbands in the next fortnight.

And how do they know that there were no photos there in album. Do they have access to Google's database transaction logs to confirm that Amit did not delete them on purpose?

#104
Avinash
March 26, 2008
07:59 PM

Does anyone even realize that any direct expression of false 498A threats or harassment by means of false dowry cases would have put Amit's parents under severe scanner/hazard for the rest of their lives for absolutely no faults of theirs?


He could have killed his own parents and then himself. That way he could have solved the problem permanently- the fear that he had about false case ( which is BS anyways). This is the best solution.

I would highly recommend Rinku's parents to file a case on Amit's parents on possibly "instigating their son to kill his wife".

The doubt can easily be placed on Amit's mother in whose name he has left his entire property. The parents already might have known that they have a lunatic crazy son, so it was easy to influence him and get him and his wife out of the way so that they could enjoy his money.

His parents can even NOW be placed behind bars easily.

If Amit's action was such a sacrifice and some &#@#$# asses think of him to a fucking martyr, the truth of the matter is that he has shamed his parents for the rest of their life and left them behind with legal implications.

Karma karma karma...it all comes back. Amit's parents sowed some seeds and they will bear the fruit now.


#105
Avinash
March 26, 2008
08:08 PM

Please point a law to me that says, if the son/husband sucides, the parents of the husband still cannot be held suspects for dowry harassment.

Since we do not have "Rinku's last letter", (since the poor innocent soul had no clue that while she would be asleep a coward lunatic monster was going to attack her in her helpless state) we cannot rule out the possibilty of dowry harassment.

His parents can even NOW be placed behind bars easily.



I hope this will make your stomach churn with $#@#$

#106
Aditi Nadkarni
March 26, 2008
08:11 PM

FF: Firstly, the SIFF has made it really hard for any of us to distinguish between them and other "a^@#$%es who want to distract the focus". :)

Secondly, infidelity or not, murder is murder whatever be the (bogus) focus of your justifications.

Lastly, people's "itch to rationalize murder" "bothers" me more than the "itch to shout back"

#107
Avinash
March 26, 2008
08:11 PM

A bunch of a^@#$%es sniffers/dogs who want to distract the focus from the real underlying cause of this mishap (i.e Amit was an insecured idiot and his friends have pointed that too) because they have their own vested interests.

Kindly read up what Amit's friends have said about him and his sick mental state including his own Uncle.

#108
Avinash
March 26, 2008
08:16 PM

Infidelity is the order of the day.

Fellow-men men men learn to buck up and deal with it. There is life after that too.

Don't get all depressed if your wife is cheating on you ( and vice versa). Move on and take on. My earnest advise too all of you. No need to take such a drastic step.

Note: to all people who stand by the theories of faith in marriage and loyalty, please lets do a realty check and accept whats happening out there and find ways to deal with it.

#109
Andy
URL
March 26, 2008
08:17 PM

Get a life guys. Try to learn from this unforunate incident. Looks like everybody has their own agenda here.

The fact is that it is a tragedy. These two young people did not deserve to die. The fact also is that the fear of misuse of the law might have been the last straw for Amit.

That is it - true and simple.

Andy

#110
Man Singh
URL
March 26, 2008
08:33 PM

There is no justification whatsoever either to murder a human or committing suicide.

Both are cruel acts.

Indians have limited themselves to GDP growth in economic terms only forgetting aim of life and sprituality taught by our forefathers in which purpose of life is much ahead of money recognising well the importance of money in life.

there are many real cases in which man or women harrassed by spouses took sanyas and served humanity for rest of their life.

But a mind trapped within boundaries of GDP growth will feel helpless and hopeless the moment it feels interefered in his/her economic pursuit of false social status.

Bhagwadgeeta Chapter 2 shloka 62 and 63
One develops attachment to sense objects by thinking about sense objects. Desire for sense objects comes from this attachment , and anger comes when desires are not fulfilled. (2.62)
Anger causes Delusion. The mind is bewildered by delusion. Reasoning is destroyed when the mind is bewildered. One falls down (from the right path) when reasoning is destroyed. (2.63)

Let's condemn this crime of Amit. Analyse it deeply and take corrective action for the welfare of humanity.

#111
Andy
March 27, 2008
05:30 PM

Deleted. Use one nick. Do not spam.

#112
FF
March 27, 2008
06:32 PM

OMG, Thanks anyway for that three point agenda Gyan.


"the SIFF has made it really hard for any of us to distinguish between them and other "a^@#$%es who want to distract the focus"

Oh!!! Got it, Just like the barking b****es on roads have made it difficult for people to spot radical feminists among them.

"Secondly, infidelity or not, murder is murder whatever be the (bogus) focus of your justifications"

And murders and torchers of masses by feminist liars are exempted by that clause. Hummmm.

people's "itch to rationalize murder" "bothers" me more than the "itch to shout back

Does one need to sit and carefully analyze/rationalize things when ones mother and father's life is endangered?

Next time somebody attacks your mother/father, sit at home and rationalize on why the assaulter attacked your mother, brainstorm various hypothesis, develop a theory, build a prototype of assault mechanics, rebuild it, refine it and wait until the subject of investigation(your mother/father) is impacted/destroyed. Keep it up and Good luck with that!!!.

And Avinash...you are overflowing with contradictions in your thoughts, as a result of few ripples I have created in your miniscule muscle called brain.

If 10 people here on DC can not convince any of the so called elite, self proclaimed intellectual class at DC that, it was not the infidelity angle but the dreaded fear of false dowry cases that resulted into Amit taking that extreme step in self defense, then

"How are you going to prove that to the courts that it was not a infidelity angle but a (false) dowry harassment case"


Amit was a class perfectionist.

Think about it... ;). I know you have a lot of spare time.

#113
Senior Siffer
March 27, 2008
07:20 PM

1: NO THREATS
2: USE ONE NICK

kapisch?

#114
Milind
March 28, 2008
03:46 AM

When a spouse cheats on you it's the ultimate betrayal in a marriage. It makes you lose every ounce of trust and respect that you once had for him. It hurts and it's very painful to try and cope with. You're often left with more questions than answers. There are four things to go through in getting to the healing process of all of this. They are shock, madness, sadness and then acceptance/forgiveness. First you're in shock that he did this to you to begin with. How could a man do this to his wife?! Right?! And then comes "How dare he do this to you?!" Next comes the sadness and even depression. "What are you to do now that this all happened?!"

May be Amit never went beyond the Madness Phase and did the act in a fit of madness because of betrayal from his spouse.

#115
Anamika
March 28, 2008
04:57 AM

Betrayal does not mean killing someone! Seems that far too many men on this forum are busy justifying a man's decision to kill his wife for all sorts of silly reasons.

Moreover, look through the reports, she was not killed in a "fit of madness" but deliberately, and in cold blood.

#116
Vn
March 28, 2008
05:24 AM

I repeat for the sake for clarity.

"Kiranjit Ahluwalia had no right to kill her husband. Nor did Amit have right to kill his wife.

Nor do we have to glorify Kiranjit. Nor do we have to glorify Amit. Such people are least of all anything but martyrs for any cause.

If Kiranjit had a chance, she must have walked away from marriage. So must have Amit. Howsoever tough it is.

Tagging it as Othello's syndrome is a drama done by people who suffer from Othello's FIL syndrome."

#117
a friend
March 30, 2008
03:24 PM

For those of us who knew her, knew her to be a wonderful, warm, compassionate girl. She was loved deeply by her sister and parents. She hid the abuse suffered at the hands of her husband to save her parents to pain it might cause them. She was going to leave him when it became impossible, and her mistake was giving this man a last chance .. which cost her dearly. He wrote a 6 page rant which is just believed and taken as proof, even though no other proof of this supposed "affair" has surfaced, despite a through investigation. And to take the word of a man who was an acknowledged "peeping tom", who would not spare even his work mates and subjected even them to his online snooping? He had a bad habit of being a snoop and overly suspicious. He was overbearing and uncaring. (Read the papers more carefully before yakking on and spouting pure illiterate manure here in the future.) Too bad he didn't just do himself in, and leave it at that. Atleast the world is a better place with him gone.

And who deserves to be killed in such a horrific manner?!! .. no one does, no matter what they might have or have not done? You people who don't know her, don't know the shock it is to lose her and in this awful manner, should just shut the heck up cause you are making total as*es of yourself. Don't tie up this tragedy with your own personal causes and sick twisted agendas .. give this girl some space in death, and her family some space in which to live and breathe again. And for the boorish ignorance shown her and the venom spat at her memory when you didn't even know her .. you put YOURSELF to shame, and you know who you are. Hang your collective biased venomous ignorant heads in shame. SHAME!

And leave our Rinku alone.

#118
kerty
March 31, 2008
01:50 PM

Either sanctity of all forms of lives or none - because yielding to exceptions create such a slippery slope that would not stop till respect for life is rendered situational, utilitarian, self-serving, sacrificial, and left to the whims of individuals - that in the end, nothing would be left sacrosanct anymore. India is treading in dangerous direction.

Life is a choice that comes with responsibilities and duties. Every choice in life comes with consequences. Life, love, sex, commitment, relationships, breakups - they all come with consequences, often very serious ones. I wish we could make them disposable, celebrate breakups as a mere minor hiccup in life, but those who have gone thru them might tell us horror stories and yes, it can lead perfectly sane people to resort to emotional/financial blackmail, blackmail of implicating entire family thru false dowry allegations, engage in revenge politics and social humiliations, leading relationships to the irrevocable path of confrontations, abuses, dv and sometimes even murder. When relationship is going thru a breakup phase, man might need a positive outlook as restraining and civilizing force - but when all he can see of future is jail time for his entire family thru false charges, or financial ruin brought out by gold-digger divorce, man might feel he has nothing to live for and has nothing left to lose - it is likely to push him to be suicidal and homicidal. It would be hard to predict what kind of trajectory each case would take. Divorce culture can never be consequences free - it can turn abusive, violent and murderous - which in turn create even more powerful justification for divorce culture - thus creating a self-fulfilling prophesy that thrives on its own consequences.

#119
Arjun
URL
April 1, 2008
01:17 AM

This comment is conditional upon the fact that Rinku was the Savitri her friends have made her out to be.
If so, then Rinku, rest in peace and Amit rot in hell.
His actions or her alleged treachery don't absolve the system of the complicity in the snuffing out of these young lives, by effecting idiotic laws !

If NOT,
Amit,
Rest in peace !
If your allegations are true, then maybe, just maybe, you may have spared your parents a lot of grief, though I am sure, they would have gladly traded that for the void left in their lives by your actions.
Give my regards to Pushkar, if you see him around.
Were you inspired by him or did you fear that his fate would become yours ?
http://mynation.blogvis.com/pushkarsingh-case/

#120
Sanjana
April 2, 2008
12:40 AM

Commit Adultry and yet Victim? Threaten false cases and yet a Victim?

Statutory Warning to all Fanict Feminist -
Misuse/ Threat of Misuse of Marital Laws is Injurious to Health.

Ms. Prez, Mr. PM, Govt, Judges & Cops - as long as you are spineless and continue to sponser, encourage and instigate Terrorism in the Name of Feminism - Common Man will be forced to take the Law in their hands for the safety of their folks including Women. Commonmen have lost the trust in the Law'n Order and the Judicary of the Country - the Law of the Jungle to be applicable.

Fanatism leads to Terrorism, even if the Fanatism is about Feminism! - Govt need to stop pampering these Fanatics!

Terrorism in any form is Terrorism, even if its legal and social! - Govt need to stop support, sponsering, encouraging and instigating it. Learn from the lessons of supporting Khalistan, LTTE and Kashmir!

Crime is a Crime - irrespective of Gender - Govt need to stop acting like a Gay raping innocent Men and deliver Justice!

#121
temporal
URL
April 2, 2008
12:57 AM

#119:

In the name of public interest want to reveal what you have imbibed?

#122
Sanjana
April 2, 2008
01:05 AM

Proves very clearly that those supporting Rinku supports Wives commit adultry- to behave like prostitutes and still say they are victims.

Proves clearly they do not know that in India its easy for a Woman to dump her husband and not vice-versa.

Proves clearly they do not understand what is it being sincere to the company's job profile - they blame Amit of snooping into others computers - it was his job to secure misuse of company info and data.

Proves clearly that all of them would personally love to bed other men and encourage their daughters too.

Proves clearly that they do not knw that Karanjeet was given an award by the govt to murder while they do not have guts to bring to the public the suicide note of Amit. He did what was best to save his family, cause he knew that if he approached for Justice his family woulf be branded criminals and go behind bars and if after muder he did not commit suicide his family would still be haunted and woudl have to suffer.

Every Wife commiting Adultry and threatening to Misuse Laws, need to be Killed, mined and flushed down the drain (so that they do not even get a good funeral)

May God bless all those supporting Rinku and like wise Women with Daughter in Laws who cimmit Adultry and put them and their folks behind bars and destroy their families. Let them watch their Sons, Grandsons, Brothers and Father and mothers and sisters and daughters being harrassed by the curropt police, spineless judges and their kid of Fanatics - and die being cursed by their own family.

#123
Deepti Lamba
URL
April 2, 2008
05:15 AM

Sanjana,

What your comment proves is that you have not been keeping abreast with the latest news on the Rinku case; it proves you have let your personal grievances fill you with such hatred that you want to hurt others in society who have done no ill towards you, what it proves is that you have lost your sense of humanity, what it proves is that you are one unhappy human being who requires therapy and what it proves is that no one in their right mind would want to exchange a word with you.

Get it?



#124
Vn
April 2, 2008
05:37 AM

Sanjana,

The best thing for you Sanjana is stop your rant about men. what do you get by abusing buliplk?
The forum is filled with Yaduvanshi syndromes. So please runaway to faroff land like Meghalaya where you can seek refuge as a women.

BTW, what is your problem? DO you want to go back and tormet your husband? or what, i am still not clear. I have only one suggestion, please leave your husband in peace.






#125
Vn
URL
April 2, 2008
06:54 AM

There we go again another Rinku.


Army officer arrested in connection with wife's murder
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Army_officer_arrested_in_connection_with_wifes_murder/articleshow/2919978.cms


God knows how many people die daily? Please Bhagwan sabko budhi do and don't start killing and doing suicide.

Fight it the right way if you have issues with marriage. Earnest request to all males.

#126
Rajesh R
April 2, 2008
07:36 AM

MadamJi,

Great article. A scoundrel commits adultery. Keeps her door closed and talks about divorce, love and false dowry case (All these recorded on the laptop and clearly mentioned in the suicide note of Amit). Still somehow she has become the victim.
Hats off to your intelligence and logical prowess.

Anyway I agree one one thing- No human needs to be dead- Be it Rinku or Amit. In the same vein, no innocent human being deserved to be jailed- Either the lakhs of innocent men or thier mothers and sisters.

[edited - read the guidelines or get help]

#127
Deepti Lamba
URL
April 2, 2008
10:57 AM

You will get to see if you survive along with that other lambu fellow.

Mr Rajesh R- given your crass behavior and blatant slandering of an innocent dead girl's character I find it beneath my dignity to talk to the likes of you.

People like you with inhuman mentality make me sick to my stomach.

#128
Vn
April 2, 2008
11:56 AM

Sorry for multiple posts, kindly delete my previous postings. I pressed one button too many.

Some tag the problems to EGO. Some tag the problems to money. Some to the Law. Some to the men mentality, Some to SIF.

What is agreed is that we have a problem in this country. Now without getting subjective to the mode of solution is what are we doing wrong.

a) Entering into a marriage with haste. Kindly do some background checks.
b) If possible, try to get a pre-nupital agreement with pros and cons and expectations.
c) Don't spend lavishly on another in terms of time or money and don't treat your husband as unlimited ATM machine
d) If you are educated, try to work on your own and be independent
e) When in trouble, don't jump to your parents opinion. Try to solve between yourselves. Often the parent tries to set different expectations.
f) Don't expect marriage to be the key to freedom. It comes with responsibility and more maturity is needed.
g) Least of all, when love fades, relish the good moments and depart amicably.

Don't retort as under DV , it is crime. Don't file false cases. Try to move ahead in Life. Baki sab Bhagwan @ LightinLife.

Also excuse me for my spelli ng mistakes as the gora language has become gora for me.

#129
desigirl
URL
April 3, 2008
07:05 AM

Dee,
I read this the other day during the lab session and couldn't comment. I followed your links and boy are they nasty! Looks like some folks have decided this is the chance to let the inner demons out and make merry. Talk about vicarious living!
I feel sorry for her parents and sister. Dealing with daughter's murder as well as her being painted the scarlet woman. Not good. At. All.

#130
Deepti Lamba
URL
April 3, 2008
07:28 AM

DG, its a sad reflection of our society and its the 'educated' who are indulging in gutter talk.

#131
desigirl
URL
April 3, 2008
12:15 PM

Makes you wonder about the definition of the word 'educated', doesn't it?

#132
Ankush
April 4, 2008
03:20 PM

A lot has been written in Indian newspapers, some of which, too disgusting and painful to comprehend. I will start my discussion with sharing the facts of Rinkus life written by her close friend from Bangalore (Being anonymous was this individuals choice and I respect it, I cannot however thank this individual enough for being there for Rinku in her time of need).

Also to all reading this please ask yourself this question IS PERCEIVED INFEDILITY ANY JUSTIFICATION FOR MURDER. FOR THAT MATTER DOES ANYTHING JUSTIFY MURDER. We gave our Daughter/ Sister to this individual to build a life with and take care of, we believed in his integrity, his promise to be by her side at all times. If we had any inclination of his demonic mind we could have rather had her be by our side and not married in the first place.

I can't believe me and dad took her hand and handed it to this monster. And also stop this stupidity of saying we would have gone after the Dowry allegation, LET ME BE VERY CLEAR ON THIS we would not have got our daughter/ sister married to a family asking dowry. That's insulting in today's day an age. Trust me if some one was to ask our family for dowry we would KICK BUTT, please don't insult us, let alone give our daughter to such a family.

Also I cant believe that Amit's Sister (Nidhi) is stating that she had no idea of these issues when RINKU CALLED HER UP COUPLE OF WEEKS ago asking for help. Anyways lets start with this first, and if I see this going in the way of being insulting or I receive stupid comments, I guess its the last you are hearing from me and the Family. I do also want to point out that we plan to do something social about women who are living a married life similar to that of Rinku and suffering. So lets start with this, and please be polite in your questions as this is my Dear Beloved Sister you will be talking about, getting nasty with someone is an easy trait, being polite is tough, so tread the road of being humble and polite with your questions. The letter begins:

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rinku as I knew her

I met Rinku around June last year. We started meeting up on a regular basis and soon became very close friends. Meeting each other on a more or less daily basis we soon started confiding everything about our lives in each other.

She had already started to have problems in her marriage with Amit by then. Rinku was beautiful, confident, an out and out extrovert and doing excellently in her career. She was a warm, vivacious and ever optimistic person, very caring and affectionate by nature. Amit was an introvert, bordering on being chauvinistic and egoistical by nature. They never had major fights but had minor disagreements on a regular basis, mostly sparked by their completely contrasting personalities. Rinku being a strong independent woman had her viewpoint about things which irked him because he probably was hoping for a wife who while being great arm candy when he socialized would be more submissive at home and accept his decisions on house, car and other decisions of everyday life etc. without questioning him or giving her opinion on it.

It was one day when she had taken him with her to her official party that they ended up disagreeing on something and he left her stranded at the party late in the night and went off in their car, refusing to take her home with him. It was at this time that she was crying and wondering what to do next that her colleague came forward and offered to drop her home. In her state of distress she confided in him about her marital problems and the fact that all was not well with her marriage. Since that day he became her friend and confidant in office, who was there to give her a shoulder to cry on when things went wrong which was happening on a more or less regular basis. Having come to Bangalore after her marriage, she had no close friends in the city who she could confide in and she needed to speak to someone to clear her mind and decide how to take things forward. Till her last day, he remained that friend and confidant. There NEVER was a question of him being anything else. The rapport they shared was one of strong friendship and sympathy for her plight. His parents were any case looking out for a suitable match for him and he was supposed to get married by July this year. She would talk to him about her troubles and he in turn would advise her and also tell her all about the prospective marriage candidates he was being shown and ask her opinion on them, whether they sounded promising and should he go ahead and say yes to any. If that fight had not taken place in front of her colleague, she would never have started confiding in him in the first place.

On Amit's birthday, Rinku planned flowers, cake and gifts at midnight and took him to out to dinner the next day. Ten minutes before midnight on her birthday he got into an argument with her about her dressing style. He criticized her wardrobe very rudely and then refused to apologise or make up with her when she started crying. They went o bed fighting and he did not plan anything for her the next morning either. After her work in the evening, she begged him to forget the fight and join her for dinner at a restaurant. He came in a very aloof manner and fought with her again while leaving the restaurant.

Rinku always believed in talking things out in case of an argument and moving on from there whereas Amit would just stop talking for several days in a row. This made her very unhappy. She would always be the first person to go ahead and make up with him after a fight even when she wasn't at fault as she believed that with just two people living in a house, it was extremely unpleasant to live together day after day without talking.

During one such fight, Amit got a phone call. It was from some friend he had not heard from in sometime. He started talking to him ignoring Rinku who was in the middle of a heated discussion with him. When she asked him to at least resolve matters with her first without callously moving on to other things he got upset that his friend might have overheard and came forward and slapped her across her face. He NEVER apologized for that act either then or later.

During their numerous fights, NEVER did he bring up his suspicions of an extramarital affair at any point of time. Being basically of a suspicious and possessive nature, he sometimes used to check Rinku's messages behind her back. She had come to realize this and had told him that if any point he wanted to know who she was communicating with, he just had to ask her. She requested him to not go behind her back but see her cell if he needed to in front of her. She wanted to be treated with the same trust and space she gave him.

Similarly, one day she mentioned how Amit was aware of all her investments, bank accounts etc. but had never told her about his. He found Rinku inquisitive when she asked such questions but all Rinku wanted was an open and honest marriage based on communication and trust.

In December last year they went to Mumbai to visit Rinku's parents. Though they had planned this trip several months in advance, Amit sulked about going as he wanted to go to Delhi to his parents (which they were doing in January anyways). While there, he walked out from the room rudely once when Rinku's mother was talking to him, slamming the door behind him just because he was in a bad mood. He also made last minute plans to meet his friends there without telling Rinku who he was meeting and how long he would be out, even when he knew that she had made plans for the two of them with her parents and relatives for that same time. One of Rinku's biggest grievances with him was that he did not give her parents and family the same kind of respect and understanding that he wanted her to show his parents and this was always a point of conflict between them. Two days after returning to Bangalore, he suddenly stopped talking to her altogether though they hadn't fought recently. After five days of silence with her pleading with him everyday during this time to tell her what was wrong, he said that he was not sure and he had to figure out some things first. He never gave his reasons even later when things went back to normal gradually and she was left wondering about his sudden spurts of silence.

Another point of conflict was that he did not give importance to her career and expected her to move with him out of Bangalore at the drop of a hat if he changed jobs; without even consulting her first about it. She was doing very well in her job and expected his support as far as her career went as she was sharing all household and other expenses with him including those for the new flat they had bought and furnished together.

Early February she decided to see a marriage counselor as a last resort to save her marriage as she had become completely drained from their daily fights about minor everyday things always followed by days of silence from his side. She was hoping that at least in front of the counselor he would open up enough to tell her his issues with her so they could talk things out.

I know for a fact that at the marriage counselor's, different issues mentioned above were brought forth by him but there was not even a passing mention of him suspecting an extramarital affair. If it was preying on his mind to the point that he murdered her for it, how is it that he did not feel the need to even mention it once in front of the counselor? They visited the counselor on a Saturday evening. They were then asked to come back the next weekend and in the meantime advised to go out for lunches, dinners, movies etc. where they could just hang out and have fun without discussing any of their differences.
Saturday he didn't speak to her, neither on Sunday even though she suggested several trips outside. Sunday night he invited her to the bedroom and when she refused on grounds of the fact that if there was no emotional bond between them then she couldn't resort to physical intimacy, he got extremely upset and asked for a divorce. By then she had become completely disillusioned as she felt that her requirement in his life was not for companionship but for cooking and giving him company in bed and thus readily agreed.

The next day she went to the Gurudwara after work and silently cried there for everything that had gone wrong. When she went home that night, he told her that he had behaved impulsively the previous night and asked her to reconsider the divorce. She wanted to save the marriage if possible and agreed. She had by then told her parents about her marital problems and decided to go for a few days to them to personally let them know that she was planning to work on it as she knew how worried they would be about her. During the 5 days she was there, Amit neither called nor messaged though he knew that she had gone through problems at the airport with her visa etc. She had a difficult time trying to get in touch with him and he finally responded to her calls. They spoke only twice during her time there.

She came back to Bangalore with the intention of working on her marriage but though he had promised to be more communicative and make an effort from his side too, within few weeks she realized that they were back to their daily arguments and there wasn't much change in his attitude. She carried on nevertheless till about 2 weeks before her death when she finally realized that the best thing for them both would be to move on instead of compromising on their happiness on a daily basis. She told him that it would be best to separate and he agreed. Amit told her that he was looking at job options overseas and would probably move abroad in a few months time. It was then that she requested him to move out of their present house to their Sarjapur flat as it would be closer to his workplace. She wanted to continue living there as being fairly new to the city and having to stay alone thereon she wanted to be in a locality she had become familiar with and also as she knew she could go to the landlord in times of trouble as she was on very good terms with his family and they were extremely helpful people.

One of the things she mentioned 3 days before her death was 'After all when you have lived with someone for one and a half years and that too someone you have loved, there is a bond that forms that can't go just because of disagreements. I know if I have decided to get out, I should do it soon but I've been dragging it and am still confused about my decision as I can't make myself hate him. I still care about him..." Till he decided to move out of that house, she also continued staying with him as she felt that with both of them working, they could discuss how to take the divorce forward only when they met in the evenings. At the same time, she said that since she had to cook dinner for herself anyways, she could also take care of his food at least as long as they were still living together as it would be inconvenient for him to eat out everyday.

There was NEVER any question of an affair and she trusted him blindly and so continued living with him even after they had decided to separate. He took advantage of this blind trust and made her pay with her life for something she didn't ever do. Amit not only cold bloodedly killed her but also maligned her even in death!!! As one of her closest friends, I want to make it clear to everyone that Rinku cared about Amit till the last day. He was the ONLY man she loved. Being an independent woman of the 21st century, she decided to opt out of a bad marriage but ONLY because they were not getting along together... NOT FOR ANY OTHER REASON!!!!

***

#133
FF
April 4, 2008
07:37 PM

I understand that Amit and Rinku were not going fine between them. I also understand every one of your argument that adultery(perceived or actual) can never be any justification for murder.

However, when you said

And also stop this stupidity of saying we would have gone after the Dowry allegation, LET ME BE VERY CLEAR ON THIS we would not have got our daughter/ sister married to a family asking dowry

Do you think dowry allegations are ever used against persons who have taken dowry? No, it is rarely the case and I would rather say it is almost never used that way.

Dowry allegations are mere tools used almost always to blackmail or threaten men and families for vested or personal interests. Today Every person on or off the road knows about harassment caused by dowry laws.

My question to you:

Are you certain that Rinku(a 21st century independent woman) did not threaten him with using harassment laws?

#134
Deepti Lamba
URL
April 5, 2008
12:32 AM

Ankush, I am deeply sorry for your loss and like many others believe that Rinku was the victim of a mad mind.


FF, even if there was the threat of Dowry law Amit, your beloved hero, did not have the right to take Rinku's life. He was a murderer and a coward. Nothing excuses his behavior no matter how many times you shout it out here on Desicritics or in the world.

#135
Vn
April 5, 2008
01:12 AM

It is sad to hear this. Why did you leave her with that monster? why did you have that blind trust?

There were so many instances
a) He had slapped her.
b) He has left her in a party alone
c) She has come all the way to Muscat to tell her parents
d) They even sought the help of the marriage counseller.
e) Daily fights
f) Agreement of divorce as well.

"After all when you have lived with someone for one and a half years and that too someone you have loved, there is a bond that forms that can't go just because of disagreements. I know if I have decided to get out, I should do it soon but I've been dragging it and am still confused about my decision as I can't make myself hate him. I still care about him"

I still think you guys must have told her to get out from there as such things only get downhill. She was no doubt confused. At such instances, it is best to take her/him out from staying together if one of them is instable.

I also know it is difficult for her as she had given up her job and was in a new city.

It also baffles me that her request to Amit to move out of their current house to Sarjapur house was not heeded by him especially when he had decided to take up a job overseas.

my views only and thanks Ankush for sharing the real story. Yes, Amit was a coward. Wish people don't resort to suicide and killing.

#136
FF
April 5, 2008
03:49 AM

Deepti,

Let us not talk about rights of and expectations from a first class citizen. You can talk of rights of husbands only when you(Govt and society) are not treating them as second class citizens.

#137
Preeti
April 5, 2008
02:39 PM

Ankush,

We know that Rinku was an ill-fated victim at the hands of a monster, an insecured lunatic man. Her desire to try and to do everything to save her marriage, to cook for him until the last day, to care for him, regrettably cost her her own life.

When I heard about the brutal murder of Rinku, my heart sank and even though I have never met her or seen her, I feel terrible about her painful end.

Please understand and be assured that the allegations made about her and the spiteful people who support the vile imagination of Amit are nothing but another Amit in the making or are another Amit themselves. It is alarming that there are so many , several of these Amits out there living in the society amongst us just waiting to get another Rinku.

The rest of us know better and believe that Rinku was a victim of a psychotic obsessive egoistic man. She did not deserve this end. No one deserves this end.



#138
Preeti
April 5, 2008
05:28 PM

So many women live in abusive marriages for a long time and continue living. For the sake of our tradition, our culture and a desire to save their marriage they put their precious life at risk, they put their safety at risk every single second. They live on the edge every single day. And one day it goes against them and that's the catastrophic end to their life and many a times in the most violent sadistic circumstances. And worst, even after their brutal murder, they are not spared. And still worst, Rinku's family/friends have to come out to defend her and offer explanations, when they need to be left alone to deal with their tragic grief of a loss of their beloved daughter.


I don't know what would be more heartrending for her family, to loose their daughter forever at such a young age or to deal with the aftermath of her character assassination carried out by a bunch of violent insane assholes that have a track record of being felons.

#139
Man Singh
URL
April 5, 2008
05:57 PM

Preeti #138

It si not only women, there are a number of man also suffering in abusive marraiges only for the sake of for the sake of our tradition, our culture and a desire to save their marriage they put their precious life at risk, they put their safety at risk every single second.

I have seen many families where highly educated guy has been married to a very low IQ girl and 90% of energy of these guys is being spent only in making these women understand how things really work.

Its pretty normal and doesn'nt mean that somebody should murder another human being only due to this incompatibility.

You won'nt belive My dad and my Mom are almost 100% opposite nature. My mom is short , my dad is tall. My mom is illetral my dad is 8th grade pass.

My mom is beutiful and deep thinker while my dad is agressive and quick decision maker.

But they are good human beings. they fight on issues and some time dun speak to each other even for years. But continue their respective duties.

They produced 7 children and made all of them at least graduate. Some Scinec some engineering some arts and one even in Agriculture.

They never threaten each other to kill or run away. They never bring their differences in open. When my dad wanst food while in `no conversation with mom' he talks to her indirectly and says `kids bring food fro me' though ni kids are around.

belive me Preeti Man equally suffer for the sake of family. If my Mom might have been a feminsist she definitely might not be able to shape the career of 7 kids and so is true to my Dad.

Culture and traditions bring humanity in `animal humans' and can not be blamed for misery of marraiges.

It is Lust, anger, greed and False Ego the five famous enemies of humanity that cause trouble. It is these 5 enemies that infect man and women alike and create troble. these five enemies for the foundation of Adharma.

So please blame this adharma and not tradition and culture for marriage troubles. It is lack of culture religion and traditions that creates troble and not their presence.

#140
Vn
URL
April 5, 2008
10:24 PM

#138 , first Para is very true, Fully agree with Preethi. Wish the Indian feminists understand that marriage saving can be done in different ways. If there is true love, then marriage will be saved, thats how it has been.

#138 second para, as usual what we expect from DC, skewed views without taking holistic views. Even if we assume all Indian failed marriages which turn violent are due to men, I beg to ask the question , what have the friends/family/media/society done in the aftermath to recognize the society ills. Not one national leader has criticized and proposed a recipe. Not one member of NCW knows the solution.
Nobody is against the 21st century women. We want Indian women to be far far ahead of all Indian men. Not even Sonia Gandhi knows the solution. She does not care infact. Why is this issue not a national issue and if the country wants it can try to stop it. where are the solutions?
a) Farmer suicides, Army Jawans suicides , can they all be tagged as economic issues, by announcing a package can you stop it?
b)Where is the social security for women and men today? Does a sister get all property rights from her parents and brothers, why does she need to depend on her husband?
c) Why is the Indian woman need to assail the character of her hsuband while seeking divorce. d) why does divorce procedures in India take 2-7 years?
e) Why are widows in India second class citizens, is it that being married only then you achieve nirvana?
f) why are girls after puberty not allowed in temples ? why don't we have female priests in hindu religion?
g) why does the society not step in to amicably resolve a marriage, why does society leave it to the last minute?

The problem is not one dimensional, it is multi-dimesnional and needs a counntrywide strategy. The cowards of Indian politics don't dare to question the fabric of Indian society.

#141
HS
April 6, 2008
05:18 AM

A TRIBUTE TO RINKU SACHDEV

Slowly the reality is sinking in our heads that our beloved Rinku is no more and we will never be able to see her again. We will never hear her laughter any more. She was so full of life that she spread cheers all around her. She loved to dance and was always the first person to be a charm of any party.

We could have never imagined in our wildest dreams that Rinku's life would be cut-off so abruptly. She was cold bloodedly murdered by her husband Amit Budhiraja on 22nd March 2008 in Bangalore, not giving her any chance to defend herself. Adding insult to the injuries the news channels in the electronic media cooked up stories with masala based on suicide note (not necessarily based on facts) of Amit which was well planned but based on suspicion and imagination of an insane person having an evil mind. The electronic media only helped Amit in achieving his goal of maligning the name of our daughter Rinku who did not deserve this rubbish at all.

If Rinku had been alive and this incidence would have happened to any one known to her, she would have gone all out to fight these channels and made them apologize to the public. She was the kind of person who would not tolerate any injustice to anyone. This is the least we are now expecting from the media to put forward the facts of the case. Otherwise people will loose faith in those channels. To restore its credibility we appeal to the media who telecasted those stories to come forward and give true version of the case.

To give a fitting Tribute to our beloved daughter Rinku, we have decided to establish "RINKU SACHDEV FOUNDATION" a charity organization which will help all women who are falling prey to this male dominated society, who need help and guidance to save their lives. We would like to seek the help of Psychiatrists, Marriage counselors and other social workers to come forward and be part of this foundation. This will be a real Tribute to our dear daughter Rinku. We would not like any more Rinkus to die in the hands of monsters.

Rinku, we all love you very much and you will always remain in our memories. Your spirit will never die and will always inspire us to make this world much better to live.

We take this opportunity to thank all those who stood by us in this time of crisis, fully supported her for her values and ridiculed her character assassination because they knew what was right and what was wrong.

Parents of Rinku Sachdev

#142
Aaman Lamba
URL
April 6, 2008
11:05 AM

HS, please accept our deepest condolences for your tragic loss and let us know if Desicritics can support your commendable initiative in any way. We tried in our small way to keep the faith for her, despite contrary comments.

#143
Vivek
March 12, 2009
01:32 PM

I read this matter i know so many extra marital Affair will happen every day becouse of Blind Faith about Marriage system of India still india n Indian is Backword thinker lot of blind Faith God Makes Marriage in haven, All the Men want women seal Pack of her Sexual Organ,Fack Culture system,if Culture is real thing in the world i Like American Culture bcoz
American Culture Never Break i never read n listen on Tv Any American Political Party said Their Culture is going to damage.for Women use Club and Pub and xtra marital Affair,Sexual Affair.

#144
Sumanth
March 12, 2009
05:36 PM

A man's suicide note is as valid as a woman's suicide note. As women's suicide notes are taken to be true always, the same privilege men must also get.

According estimates 50% women are abusive towards children, husbands, elders and maid servants.

Men who get abused in marriages and perceive threat from a distrusting society and police, become emotional wreaks and they can be dangerous to themselves and to others.

We have been advocating that men need an outlet and there is a need to study male behaviour through men's studies so that different psychological conditions of men can be addressed or treated.

It has been proved in western countries that bidirectional domestic violence has resulted in severe battering.

A california court has ruled that keeping men out of domestic violence welfare program is a mistake.

It is time to wake up in stead of advocating further cornering of men by creating biases.

No one wants to kill and die.

It is easy to dismiss this by claiming a person as "madman". That is no way to address the root of the problem.

It is too simplistic to attribute these deaths to "male dominated" society, when 3 times more men compared to women die due to suicides, murders and accidents.

The men are as helpless as women in this whole system.

To make the matters worse, there are demands for respect and understanding from parents or both sides, spouses, relatives and on top of that the work hard party hard mentality.

A time comes when a person says, just leave me alone. That can be interpreted as uncaring behaviour and the person is further coerced.

Things are bound to break down one day or other.


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