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The Depravity of Orkut
Kiran Dhanwada
I was shocked the other day when my 14 year old cousin scrapped me – ‘Wassup?’ on Orkut. Firstly, I didn’t have a clue that he was on Orkut. Secondly, what was this ‘wassup?’ language? Have school kids forgotten the good old English language? An age where we lamented the death of letter–writing with the advent of email seems to have passed us by. We have to probably start lamenting about the death of email and advent of scraps in our life! When did I last receive a personal email from one of my friends or relatives? (Oh no! I am not talking about mass mailing). It was quite a while, actually. What I receive in plenty nowadays are scraps. I reply to their scrap by email and they scrap me back with a reply – what do I call such people – pea-brained cretins??
Orkut, I am told, is only a tiny fraction of the social networking market (MySpace and Facebook being the leading monsters in this space). With every passing day, I get numerous requests to join hundred other social networking websites. LinkedIn, Jaxtr etc etc. Mass marketing + Social networking seems to be a great idea, oh yes! Brilliant idea – but stop SPAMMING me with your wretched and pitiable mass mailing ideas.
My intentions might be mistaken here. I am all for social networking sites – the logical output of what Internet was meant to be. All that ‘old friends’ meet’, ‘accidentally met long-lost teachers’, ‘met my soulmate’, ‘made great friends of friends’ friends’ – I completely agree with all that. There are some times when such good talk has to be said and there are others when all this crap has to be shunted out into a black hole! Being politically correct might demand saying ‘Orkut has its own advantages and disadvantages – sifting out the good from bad is what is required’, ‘There are so many communities on Orkut that would help improve the quality of life’ – but we all know that being politically correct is not correct at all, it is just a farce. And community improving quality of life? – are we talking of ‘I love Himesh Reshammiya’ community here?
We live in times where opening a browser entails two simultaneous things – opening up a social networking site in one tab and email in another. ‘Addiction’ is a strong word to use – but I would go a step further – being active on Orkut seems more like a religion nowadays – I guess actual religion gets lesser amount of attention and time than Orkut. Status on the Internet is not about money nowadays – it is more to do with the most number of scraps, most number of communities, videos, number of friends, testimonials. Gathering these have become close-to-maniac activity (and with these testimonials – even more funny – I scratch your back, you scratch mine)! A sense of pure play exhibitionism constipating delusional grandeur!!! As Orkut progresses further, we have hacks (which let anyone with a certain script scrap everyone in their friend list – and yes, customized with the friends’ name too) – script in itself being very simple (simple because a non-computer buff like me could understand it – and could have customized it if I wanted to) – I wonder what advanced hacks would do in a few months!!
Having said this, there is a funny side to Orkut too – funny because the very people who were the lifeline of Orkut have made this possible and the variations in this category border on infinity. The testosterone pumping males – absolute strangers – scrapping females (irrespective of whether their profile pic is visible or not – when they pump something, all guys need - is a name) of the strangest scraps possible with the worst spellings even the illiterate would be ashamed of. Some samples –
Hi…I am lukin for good fraanship with you. Will you be frands with me?
(What did they expect? A wholehearted yes of being frands…err..friends?)
Hello! I am Amit Sharma.
(What response does this guy expect from the girl? Oh..you had me at Hello!??? (a.k.a Jerry Maguire??)
u r so butiful. I wanna make freindship with you.
(You have already made your intentions clear, you fool! And what’s with that subtle misspelling of friendship? Orkut provides you with a online spell-checker nowadays, you know!)
Hi!
(I like this guy. Very succinct and to the point. Intentions very clear – simplicity is the best policy. The girl is most likely to ask ‘Who in the world taught you communication skills?’ rather than doubting his intentions)
One interesting answer I heard from one of my friends (very logical indeed on hindsight!) with regards to communities he had signed up for on Orkut (he had signed up for I love Linkin Park, Bertrand Russell’s fans, Online Chess forums, Business Quiz forum, Hindi Melodies from the ‘70s, etc., etc., counting to around 20). On questioning him with respect to a newfound interest in absolutely alien topics like these, he replied ‘Dude, nowadays, girls search on Orkut first before they talk to you. So better get the profile straight – scraps, videos, rigged testimonials and fake communities. That way, you have made a perfect first impression – needless to say, first impression is always the best impression’!! I couldn’t agree more and I sadly gape at the power Orkut wields over the population aged 6-60!!
P.S –
Thankfully, Orkut has brought in certain security features very recently where you can lock scrapbooks, photographs and videos to be visible only to a few select friends. Previously, your online life was out in the open to the entire world (barring a few, who religiously deleted all their scraps regularly)
And people – I believe scrapping gives you different varieties of vicarious pleasure, but please – for Internet's sake – Email me!!!
The Depravity of Orkut
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DCritic
URL
January 7, 2008
02:59 AM
Very good, don't repeat this.
temporal
URL
January 7, 2008
03:25 AM
kiran would have sent you an email...but let this suffice for now....since you mentioned wassup...may i offer this definition of an exclamation mark from my friendly dictionary?
sheesh!
:)
Kiran Dhanwada
URL
January 7, 2008
08:17 AM
@temporal - I would admit that you have got an excellent sense of humor but, were you trying to be funny here?
The rate at which exclamations appear in the article is directly proportional to the number of ways Orkut baffles me - and hence I thought so be my writing.
But yeah, like your sense of humor (and your 'friendly dictionary') - would love such feedback anytime.
Kiran Dhanwada
URL
January 7, 2008
08:18 AM
@temporal - I would admit that you have got an excellent sense of humor but, were you trying to be funny here?
The rate at which exclamations appear in the article is directly proportional to the number of ways Orkut baffles me - and hence I thought so be my writing.
But yeah, like your sense of humor (and your 'friendly dictionary') - would love such feedback anytime.
Scorpion
January 7, 2008
11:25 AM
"I reply to their scrap by email and they scrap me back with a reply - what do I call such people - pea-brained cretins??"
that is hilarious! :-)
temporal
URL
January 7, 2008
11:43 AM
kiran:
how do you know i am deaf?
;)
khair the point about exclamation marks is simply this...it reinforces a point one wants to make
think this way:
an exclamation mark is akin to JUMPING up and down by the writer to draw attention to ONE point...if that jumping is done by a battalion or a brigade or a division it tends to spoil the effect
imho of course:)
kela
January 7, 2008
01:39 PM
dumb dumb dumb...
kerty
January 7, 2008
10:35 PM
I have never understood these virtual dating and social communities. We still have real world out there, have not lost it completely. One must be terribly lonely or socially depraved or deficient with minimal social worth or social skills. I know some people use it to sharpen their dating/social skills that can be useful in real world. But really. There is very little reality or connect with real world. The role play, fake, anonymous, posers are so liberally mixed with the real, that one can't assume anything, one can not trust anything, not even pictures can tell a whole story. Now why would anybody in their right mind go there to look for real friends or spouses? Sure, if one is looking for quick hook-ups, NSA flings, experimentations, virtual place to hang out where everybody knows your handle, there could be no other place like it. But than why act shocked when you get flooded with such seekers? What were you thinking when you joined such communities? That you would fall in love at first sight, or first email/IM? One has to wade thru tons of scrap to get lucky, but more likely, one might miss it completely while bypassing a heap of scrap.
It is tragic that no support system exists that can help youth to look around or mingle in safe and sincere environment to find their love mates. There is that bar scene, dance clubs, malls or parking lots of McDonalds and walmarts. I have seen after-dark parking lots of anchor stores and restaurants where youth in large cluster of cars hang out with a prospect of meeting like minded persons and they are seen to sprint off in a hurry as soon as any cop car is seen approaching - within minutes, the whole lot gets back a deserted look. What a pathetic and seedy way to meet people! I think adult world has abandoned their responsibilities and youth are left to fend for themselves in darkness. If you are going to take away arranged marriages as a viable choice, at least provide them a safe space and structure where youth can mingle freely and make intelligent choices about critical decisions of their lives. Youth are driven to virtual communities where options are no better.
Ledzius
January 8, 2008
12:05 AM
Orkut is dominated by Third worlders, people from India and Latin American countries. The classier people prefer Facebook, if they decide to have an online profile at all, in the first place.
Kiran Dhanwada
URL
January 8, 2008
12:14 AM
@Scorpion - Thank you so much!
@Kela - What exactly were you trying to convey? Your profile, my article or something else? :)
@Kerty - I can completely relate to how you feel. The more closer you get to 'being online', the farther you go away from the real world. Sad, but true state of affairs.
@Ledzius - Classier in the sense, people who have more time to waste? And probably Third world people are smart (or in other words, the classier people are dumb!) - they wanted to avoid some of the horribly irritating features of Facebook (or MySpace) anyways and hence Orkut! Same situation - different lens - unfortunately, 'being perenially online' (on Orkut or Facebook or MySpace) brings in such lowly intolerant qualities in mankind of dividing people into Third World and Classier! Such a pity!
StupendousMan
January 8, 2008
06:09 PM
Hi ,
I appreciate the nice write up. But sadly you are in the minority. If you are resisting a internet revolution change, you wll find a cold shoulder.
I noticed you asked for please e-mail me , giving the notch that you ahve caught up with email instead of personal hand written letters.
so I guess you need to do some catch up to the generation.
But I do agree with you on one issue: words need to be spelled correctly.
People still do, but now only where it really matters (essay writing/ interview , letter to editors, novels.. to name a few)
OrkutEngineers
January 8, 2008
11:22 PM
saw your pick on the boys writing to girls out of blue. It is amazing how easy it is to trap boys on this.. A lot of people do this out of fun and surprisingly it keeps on going for months and years.. Most of the hunted and hunters are engineers
Might be because of the low female ratio in india (specially engineering colleges) but usually the guys sound so desperate! the ones you have picked up are probably much decent versions.. here are the few that i can quote.
(quote)
why u leave mnit community.i want to be ur friend thru the community n u leave it.
(/quote)
(quote)
hi, [girl name] i m [boy name] from iit roorkee.i just started for making friend .i see ur profile in orkut .really i not understand with ur 50%concept.if u r interestd in .then u give ur yahoo email id for further chatting.
i m waitng 4 ur reply.
ok bye have anice day.
keep smiling .
(/quote)
(quote)
hey miss if intsrtd in a true n gud frend then waitin for ur soon contact n reply if trust me for that .........
(/quote)
Though its quite true that boys and even girls try to find similar match from the community and have heard quit a few success stories on finding the "soulmates" in a community.
people are reluctant to email maybe because they think sending one word in an email is not worth the effort better do that while surfing orkut.. emails for the long things
FirstWorlder
January 9, 2008
10:47 AM
@Ledzius - "Classier people"...Are you refering to the rednecks living in trailer parks or some guys from the hood?
kela
January 9, 2008
10:58 AM
your article made no sense
you're a handwrtng analyss ? ha ha how phoney and dumb
kela
January 9, 2008
11:00 AM
*analsyst
Antony
URL
January 23, 2008
12:06 AM
Hi Kiran,
A really beautiful, well formed and very much required article for this period of the world. I would agree with every words of you. To put it simple, the words you have written are the same i had in my mind about these social networking in the past few years. Good Work!!
Die Hard
January 23, 2008
08:01 AM
Are you saying that one should write only if that person is good at it?
Aaman
URL
July 27, 2008
01:32 PM
Entertaining article - looking forward to more, haven't seen your articles recently.
Ravi KUlkarni
July 28, 2008
01:48 AM
Dear Kela (#15),
That was very funny! I have never seen that use of the word analyst.
Ravi
anthony
July 29, 2008
05:07 AM
nice article....only 4 years late
commonsense
July 29, 2008
11:28 AM
Kerty:
""It is tragic that no support system exists that can help youth to look around or mingle in safe and sincere environment to find their love mates.""
there is of course the dosti pub somewhere in the suburbs of chicago...i thought you were coming to this...
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