Desicritics Comments on Marriage, New Age Style

Comment by John

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:05:08 EST

I found a bridal shop, the wedding dresses of which are stunning! You could take a look at it: www.eastbridal.com .A friend of mine just has her wedding gown custom made there.

Comment by John

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:04:59 EST

I found a bridal shop, the wedding dresses of which are stunning! You could take a look at it: www.eastbridal.com .A friend of mine just has her wedding gown custom made there.

Comment by John

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:04:55 EST

I found a bridal shop, the wedding dresses of which are stunning! You could take a look at it: www.eastbridal.com .A friend of mine just has her wedding gown custom made there.

Comment by John

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:04:49 EST

I found a bridal shop, the wedding dresses of which are stunning! You could take a look at it: www.eastbridal.com .A friend of mine just has her wedding gown custom made there.

Comment by John

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:04:36 EST

I found a bridal shop, the wedding dresses of which are stunning! You could take a look at it: www.eastbridal.com .A friend of mine just has her wedding gown custom made there.

Comment by John

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:04:34 EST

I found a bridal shop, the wedding dresses of which are stunning! You could take a look at it: www.eastbridal.com .A friend of mine just has her wedding gown custom made there.

Comment by John

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:04:31 EST

I found a bridal shop, the wedding dresses of which are stunning! You could take a look at it: www.eastbridal.com .A friend of mine just has her wedding gown custom made there.

Comment by John

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:04:17 EST

I found a bridal shop, the wedding dresses of which are stunning! You could take a look at it: www.eastbridal.com .A friend of mine just has her wedding gown custom made there.

Comment by John

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:04:14 EST

I found a bridal shop, the wedding dresses of which are stunning! You could take a look at it: www.eastbridal.com .A friend of mine just has her wedding gown custom made there.

Comment by John

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:03:43 EST

I found a bridal shop, the wedding dresses of which are stunning! You could take a look at it: www.eastbridal.com .A friend of mine just has her wedding gown custom made there.

Comment by blokesablogin

Fri, 4 Jan 2008 13:47:54 EST

kerty: the lists of opposites you have given is what we call "dwandwa" in Samskritam. They are the pairs of opposites that rule this physical world. The only way to resolve these opposites is by introspection and asking the question Who am I? Where am I in this universe and what is My truth to My existence?!

Comment by commonsenseforall

Fri, 4 Jan 2008 11:31:24 EST

Temporal wrote: "sumanth talking with yourself again ;)" I haven't laughed so much in a long time! Great, sly humour!

Comment by Kalyani

Sat, 29 Dec 2007 11:20:20 EST

temporal -, Lakshmikanth, Sumanth, Smallsquirrel, DD, Deepti Lamba, Dcritic, Jawahara, updike98, Khojidesi, kerty, Anjali, Gope Lalwani, BUTT-IN, that was a very lively discussion and thanks for your comments and interest. blokesbogin – we do need to think a little more as parents where our children are heading with all they get - good you are so aware. Sumanth, a couple of things you said have set me thinking. Happy New Year everybody

Comment by Sumanth

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 12:29:33 EST

Anjali and others, Why parents are afraid of having girls born in the house in an era where 50% of medical students and 25% of engineering students are girls? The parents are in fear because of massive hype over vulnerability of women. Even though, less women in India (per million) get murdered, still we think our society is oppressive to women. (3150 murders in US compared to 7952 in India). The false stories of dowry deaths and bride burning has contributed to the panic in the society and society discounts the positive rewards to parents who have a girl child. It is presented that, if parents have male child, it is less risky and if they have girl child, then she will get burnt to death. The dangerous solution by "cry of wolf" has not created a bigger problem. Feminist bastards do not understand that societies are complex dynamical systems and hence straight forwards reactive methods can cause much more harm than the original problem. The bitches used all funds to stop dowry and in stead it went on spreading. The methods used by feminists and libertarians are very questionable. For example, the libertarians preach "hedonism" in India and they equate irresponsibility with choice. For them, any religious stuff is oppressive to women. The demand there should not be any morals. The teenagers and children know what is best for them. The kind of crap that these foolism libertarians propagated in the country, has contributed to breaking of families. Till now, they evaded saying that the marriages are breaking because the men are bastards in India. But, slowly the truth is emerging and it is getting established that both genders are contributing equally to the whole problem as the society seeks instant gratifications. The family breaking and aggression in family due to selfishness and instant gratification will only increase year by year. Then it will hit the next generation in no time. Then, it will be too late. Already, children have started shooting each other in schools and the teenage suicide is highest in south Indian cities. Lets get into the roller coaster and conduct all kinds of fucked of sociological experiements under guidance of foolish morons in West(Sweden or US) who have got too simple situations to handle. The divorce rates will increase 20% to 30% year by year till it engulfs the whole society. Please note, morals do not guarantee a good marriage. The Indian Family System is too complex unlike the Western system. If one or two things go wrong anywhere in the whole family, the whole structure implodes with vicious circles triggering one event after another. Being founder and a counsellors in a big family oriented organisation, we sense this and we prevent the vicious circles from running when people come for counselling. We bring the people back to the basics, "How much land a man needs?"

Comment by Gope Lalwani

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 13:03:06 EST

[Post again - without caps- ed]

Comment by Kerty

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 13:01:24 EST

Sumanth It looks like your point of view is a counter response to feminism - the essential premise of both point of view is gender war - male and female at war with each other. Thus, such ideologies seek to make marriage and family to be war zone - atomize them and pit them against each other to create self-fulfilling prophesy to empower gender war and ideologies that thrive on ravages of such war. That is why such wars have to be looked from larger context of cultural and ideological wars. Materialism is process of disempowerment and centralization of power in one entity - it is a process of conquest thru divide and destroy so power can be transferred away from the subject being atomized. Here is the process of evolution. (I am tempted to use the metaphore of hydra-headed Ravana, but I am calling it materialism in order not to make it loaded for those who are allergic to hindu) First spiritual theology is subjected to divide and destroy to give birth to materialism. The theological divide takes the shape of monotheism vs polytheism, theism vs atheism, single-god theology vs multi-god theology, God vs anti-God. At this stage, materialism is still disguised as theology. Once atomization of theological sphere gets established, the notion of civilization is ready to be subjected to divide and destroy in order to give boost to materialism. Here the civilizational divide shape up on theological lines - Vedic civilization vs Islamic civilization, semitic civilization vs Pagan, Abrahmic civilization Vs non-abrahmic civilization. At this stage, materialism get a disguise of civilization. Once divide of civilizational sphere is established on theological lines, the stage is set for subjecting the same on ideological lines. Religion Vs nation/state, religion vs secularism. Once can say, nation-state and secularism get empowered out of this divide and destroy phase. This is where materialism comes out of its civilizational shell and manifest in its true colors. One can say, materialism has become adult by now. It now has a vehicle to ride - nation-state and secularism. Once nation-state and secularism take over spheres of civilization, various ideologies vie to hoist their flag over nation-state. Capitalism vs Socialism vs Communism. Left vs Right, Statism vs Nationalism vs Globalism. Secularism vs Culturalism. Conservatism vs liberalism. Democracy vs theocracy vs autocracy. Constitutionalism vs people power etc. They all vie to boost materialism and how progress and development is measured and they are judged how fairly that is produced and how fairly it is distributed. Once ideological divide is firmly established, all the de-centralized institutions are subjected to divide and destroy. Notion of community is first in line. The divide takes the shape of caste(tribe) vs monolith, caste vs caste-less, upper-caste vs lower-caste, caste vs dalits etc. Materialism is now a liberator Once caste divide has neutralized the notion of community, the next in line of fire is notion of family. Caste vs clan, joint-family vs nuclear family, in-laws vs Bahu, Bother vs Brother, sons vs parents, love marriage vs arranged marriage, rural vs urban etc. New urbane, educated, elite, nuclearized, modern realities take over the old and now outdated ones. Materialism now poses as a modernizer. Once family is nuclerised, the stage is set for total atomization of family institution. This is where feminism, individualism and constitutionalism steps in to get the job done. Male vs female, patriarchy vs feminism, individual rights vs group rights, individualism vs collectivism, married vs single vs divorced, Sita as ideal of womanhood vs Surphankha as ideal of feminism. Since foundation of family is marriage and motherhood - they both are subjected to anarchy - pretty soon, there remains no definitive consensus or definition of marriage or motherhood or family. This is the domain of feminist activism. Does atomization of family empower man or woman or marriage or family or children or elderly - for a while, it may appear that it is empowering one or another on situational basis. But in the end, they all stand neutralized by each other and get disempowered. This is the triumph of materialism - the conquest of family and all its foundations. Once can equate it to abduction of sita by Ravana. Once individual stands alone, totally atomised, not allowed to create or be part of any support mechanism ie family, community, group allegience or religion that can threaten the hegemony of materialism, individual stands neutralized and defeated - a powerless entity that can threaten nothing except enjoy hedonistic materialism that help keep it amused and engaged - a state of Raskhasha. Thus, individual, family, community, nationalism, civilization, spiritual theology stand disempowered and defeated - the individual-nation/state-globalism-materialism become mechanism of power transfer to unipolar center of power - to create omnipresent, omnipotent 'Ravana'. No man can defeat it, no fire can burn it, no death can kill it. It has many heads, and you may think you somehow managed to behead it, but another one is ready to take its place and it gets back to its invincibility. Feminism did not cast the dice, dice has been cast long ago, feminism is only a small cog in an onward march of Ravan Raj. Hindus will need more than Rama Sethu to rescue Sita from this one.

Comment by blokesbogin

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 12:50:54 EST

Kalyani, I attended one of those weddings you refer to 2 weeks ago. I see the socialogical angle you are essaying to describe. Higher education for girls is wonderful but I find that be it girls or boys, we have more literate people in the world today than educated ones. Basic human values like patience, courtesy, cordiality, friendliness, generosity etc. have become defunct in a consumeristic search for perfect materiality. Forget matrimony that demands all that and more. Youngsters today get paid lots of money and Indian kids have no debt as their education has been paid for by their parents. So, they dont know what to spend their money on except for more jewellery, automobiles, clothes etc. Many of their places of work offer great incentives to take a loan, so they are far better off financially than their parents ever dreamed of. And the onus is on the parents who have not brought their children up with proper values. Rather than teaching the children importance of values and the dangers of materiality, the parents in the past 2 decades have been busy preening and proud of their children's achievements (academic mostly, in the context you are speaking of). When my son comes home and shows off that he did well and got an A, I tell him to go thank God as it takes one small blood clot to change all that intelligence to mush and then we celebrate- it is very important for parents to keep the balance of love and discipline.

Comment by BUTT-IN

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 08:22:53 EST

[do not use caps] What I Want In A Man, Original List ... (at age 22) ----------------------------------- 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially Successful 4. A Caring Listener 5. Witty 6. In Good Shape 7. Dresses with Style 8. Appreciates the Finer Things 9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises 10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 32) ----------------------------------- 1. Nice Looking - preferably with hair on his head 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at restaurant 4. Listens more than he talks 5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times 6. Can carry in all the groceries with ease 7. Owns at least one tie 8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal 9. Remembers Birthdays and Anniversaries 10. Seeks romance at least once a week What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 42) ---------------------------------- 1. Not too ugly - bald head OK 2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car 3. Works steady - splurges on dinner at McDonalds on occasion 4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking 5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes 6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture 7. Usually wears shirt that covers stomach 8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids 9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down 10. Shaves on most weekends What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 52) ---------------------------------- 1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed to appropriate length 2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public 3. Doesn't borrow money too often 4. Doesn't nod off to sleep while I'm emoting 5. Doesn't re-tell same joke too many times 6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on Weekends 7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear 8. Appreciates a good TV Dinner 9. Remembers your name on occasion 10. Shaves on some weekends What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 62) ---------------------------------- 1. Doesn't scare small children 2. Remembers where bathroom is 3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep 4. Only snores lightly when awake (LOUDLY when asleep) 5. Doesn't forgets why he's laughing 6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself 7. Usually wears some clothes 8. Likes soft foods 9. Remembers where he left his teeth 10. Remembers when... What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 72) ---------------------------------- 1. Breathing

Comment by Anjali

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 05:32:09 EST

Sumanth: I'm not a feminist, nor a member of any feminist or similar organization. I don't hate men. And this post is not about dowry deaths. Parents have always feared girls being born, perhaps you have not read about the gender ratios and infanticide. It might be a good idea to actually check out how things stand before ranting.

Comment by Gope Lalwani

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 13:13:05 EST

http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1140979 Two-thirds of the Sevn Thousands Divorce cases this year were filed by young couples in Mumbai City alone.

Comment by temporal

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 16:12:22 EST

sumanth #34: delusional rant! this reconfirms von-siffers suffer from some serious psychiatric issues ;)

Comment by Sumanth

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 16:08:04 EST

Gender Equality: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yphCjanTWs

Comment by Sumanth

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 15:29:47 EST

Temporal, "Tunnel Visioned" creatures require "Tunnel Visioned" treatment. Hatred just gets reflected in mirror. Hate filled creatures boil in hatred, when we show them the mirror. Some of our members even take feminist articles and change the gender of the words and publish it back. We are so much similar to feminists. Certainly, we love them. It is feminist activity, which helps growth of our organisation. They can stop our supplies if they want to. Today, we have saveindianfamily helplines in almost all states in India. The false stories of dowry deaths are repeated millions of times across globe. We have to also use the same repeatative methods to show the world what feminists are.

Comment by Sumanth

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 15:15:18 EST

Anjali, Yes. I am a biased [EDITED]. I will remain so, till Feminists like many of you do not stop becoming biased and the sex starved attention seeking males stop treachery towards other males just for imaginary chances of increase in availability of sex. Sick psychotic Feminists are spreading panic in the society with lies on attrocities on women, so that parents will fear having a girl born in the house. That in turn, will result in increase in funds to feminist organisations.

Comment by Sumanth

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 15:07:14 EST

PROVOKED: Man murders educated wife, who filed dowry harassment on his parents. The biased laws used for abuse of elders and the economic blackmail of men by judicials system is creating new breed of criminals now. An educated working woman in high position gets husband's house and also maintenance after getting his parents into a dowry case. It is clear that a small percentage of men are starting to take law into their hands and trying to get even in an eye for eye fashion. Blackmailing and forcing men into abusive situations can have its terrible consequences on women. It is dangerous for women, if abused men think that they have nothing left to lose. Many courts in India do not give bails to men in dowry cases unless they agree to reconcile and stay with the woman. How appropriate is it on part of courts to keep two warring people together forcibly? http://www.ibnlive.com/news/govt-officer-found-dead-in-gurgaon/54773-3-1.html New Delhi: A man killed his wife, stuffed her body into a suitcase and dumped it in Gurgaon on Saturday. The victim had earlier registered a case of dowry harassment against her in-laws. His wife Archana was a deputy director with the Federation of Indian Export Organisation. ....... But the couple reconciled three months back - after a judge said that the couple's flat in Gurgaon would have to be given to Archana and Rohit would have to pay maintenance as well. ............. Now, the guy will face trial for 2 to 4 years just like a dowry case and he may spend another 3 to 4 years in jail after that. But, now a days, people who go to jail have become celebrities.