My Favorite Bollywood Hits

Bollywood films are often referred to as "musicals" by the international audience. I mean really, to watch a Hindi film minus the regular jhatka-matka songs, is as good as watching a soulless body in motion.

Such is the importance of "filmy music" that many thrashy Bollywood stories survived the Box Office onslaught only because of their strong music hold among the masses. With nearly 1,000 films released in a given year, obviously not all come in melodious packaging; some are good, the majority are bad and as in this scenario, a few are simply downright ugly.

So keeping with the spirit of Bollywood music (and the fact that I am highly bored this morning), I have come up with six categories that may sound bizarre but are still very relevant to one of our most popular forms of entertainment.

Here we go:

Kyunki Yeh Dhun Churayi Gayi Hai (Copy-Cat songs)

All you need to be is an adamant Bollywood fan to know that this category has been completely dominated by two of Hindi Film Industry’s top music composers – Apna Bappida uncle and living-breathing Xerox machine aka. Anu Malik. However for the sake of variety, I have included other well-known music directors in my top 5 copy-cat dhun list.

1. Tamma Tamma Loge: Composer - Bappida; Film – Thanedaar; Inspiration – Tamma Tamma. (According to me, the song “Jumma Chumma De De” from the film Hum was million times better.)

2. Amma Dekh Tera Munda: Composer – Rajesh Roshan; Film – Stuntman; Inspiration – Chok There by Apache Indian (I believe so).

3. Dil Le Le Lena: Composer – Anu Malik; Film – Auzaar; Inspiration – Macarena.

4. Dil Mera Churaaya Kyuon: Composer – Anu Malik; Film – Akele Hum Akele Tum; Inspiration – Last Christmas.

The baap of all copy-cat songs,

5. Stop That: Composer – Devang Patel; Film – Gambler, Inspiration – (Once again) Chok There. Besides a copied tune and nonsensical lyrics, we had actor Govinda grooving in the weirdest ways. His outfits - it's surprising he wasn’t arrested by the fashion police.

Kahin Pe Nigahen Kahin Pe Ishara (Double meaning songs)

The title is pretty much self-explanatory, so here are my top 5 picks in random order.

1. Choli Ke Peeche Kya Hai: Film – Khalnayak. The very first choli song, at least for my generation folks.

2. Rukmani Rukmani: Film – Roja. My favourite portion being this one…

Baahon mein hai baahein daale meethi baatein hone lage,
Khatiya bhi dheere dheere khat khat hone lagi,
Aage peechhe hua to jhatpat hone lagi [Link]

3. Gutar Gutar: Film – Dalaal. From what I can remember, this film was given an ‘A’ certificate just because of the controversial song and actress Ayesha Jhulka’s shower scene.

4. Aap Jaisa Koi: Film – Qurbani. The only reason why I picked this sexy song is that, for years I was under the impression that the lyrics went something like this…

Aap jaisa koi meri zindagi mein aaye
Toh baap ban jaaye, haan haan baap ban jaaye

And finally, how can this list be complete without the sizzling jodiof Govinda and Karisma Kapoor.

5. Sarkailo Khatiya: Film – Raja Babu.

Dhasu Item Songs

To stay true to the meaning, my top 5 item songs consist of actors/actresses who only did a guest appearance in the respective films.

1. Pyar Doh Pyar Loh: Film – Jaanbaz. Feroz Khan made the very right decision by featuring none other than the ever young and beautiful, Rekha in this super-hot track.

2. Chamma Chamma: Film – China Gate, featuring undoubtedly the best item girl of our time, actress Urmila Matondkar.

3. Chhaiya Chhaiya: Film – Dil Se. With this number we were introduced to the very Maliaka Arora and as they say, the rest is history.

4. Phoonk De: Film – No Smoking, featuring Bipasha Basu. I may have hated this film but the song is simply mind-blowing.

5. Babuji Zara Dheere Chalo: Film – Dum. I thought the song was very well picturized though Yana Gupta didn’t get my fancy. 

Bas Ab Bahut Ho Gaya (Hall of Fame)

1. Jhalak Dikhlaja: Film – Aksar. Ek toh Himeshbhai ki naak uper se bhooton ka darr, seriously high time we let go of this baby.

2. Woh Lamhe: Film – Zeher.

3. Didi Tera Dewar Deewana: Film – Hum Apke Hain Kaun.Seriously, we Punjus have still not gotten over this over-dose of family drama.

4. Tujhe Dekha Toh Yeh Jaana: Film – Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge.

5. Mehbooba Mehbooba: Film – Sholay.

“K” nahin but “O” (Popular songs centered on alphabet “O”)

1. Oye Oye: Film – Tridev. Though this song was also copied from an English number, it was awesome nonetheless. If I am not mistaken, Mumbai police had imposed a fine on all those who were heard yelling out the words “Oye Oye”; apparently many roadside Romeos were using this as a pick-up line.     

2. Ole Ole: Film – Yeh Dilagi. All I will say is that, the Saif Ali Khan of those days and the Saif Ali Khan of today, are two very different people.

3. Ding Dong O Baby Sing A Song: Film – Hero.

4. O O Janejana: Film – Pyar Kiya Toh Darna Kya. The very first Sallu shirtless song.

5. O Maria O Maria: Film – Sagar. One of my favorites to date, the film and the song. 

Bhago Kyunki Malik Gaya (Anu Malik disasters)

1. Oonchi Hai Building: Film – Judwa.

2. Ek Garam Chai Ki Pyaali Ho: Film – Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega.

3. Dekho Barish Ho Rahi Hai: Anu Malik’s pop album.

4. Yeh Kali Kali Aankhen: Film – Baazigar.

5. My Adorable Darling: Film – Main Khiladi Tuh Anari.

This is it people, too much thinking for a Monday morning. If you can think of any whacky categories, just the like ones mentioned above, do write them down in the comment section.