Job Satisfaction: Happy Is What Happy Does

Aditi

Extremely well written.

As more and more people choose what they 'love' and not what everybody is doing, we are likely to see a much higher productivity and quality in the products and services in this country. Also, more creativity and innovativeness. Things that make America and the WEST great :-)

How Lovely ! These words could have been my own - Except that I would never be able to say so much in so few words !

Ms. Nadkarni, fantastic article, which I hope will open the eyes of many parents who are pressing their children to some career in life;
and leading their children into mental depression and even suicide. In those days while
I was getting into college, everybody was waiting to be a "Doctor" or "Engineer". Even in the field of engineering, there was a fight in between a few choice was available. Even while I was in High school, my relatives began to question my future career, and I was greatly
frustrated every day, and finally I said very
plainly " my future is in God's hand, I don't
know whether I will live another day".

I saw many of my rich friends after trying
the game with medicine and engineering, failed miserably, with added pain of lost time and money.

We parents are doing a great harm to our children by pushing them to something in which they don't have any interest in life. " a day lost without smile is a lost day for ever". How many career oriented people are living in misery with depression and discord at home?

I read in Atalna Journal about the rookie lawyers
buring the brain by 60 hours/week of work to establish themselves as partners with a reputed law firm. One lady lawyer took a salary cut of
70%, now working 15 hours a week and said " now I have time for my children and family, enjoying
every day of life".

While we live a short span of life, if we spend
every day in misery, what is the purpose of life?
Materially I have not accomplished much in life,
but when I began to realize the purpose of life
far earlier in life according to a verse in the
Bible " Jesus said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life is not
in the abundance of the things which he possesseeth" Luke 12:15". God is not for slothfulness, we must work hard in the field to which we are called to work.

When I saw my friend's son, a very promising young soft spoken person, I was shaken. He was not interested to be a Doctor, but his father pushed him so hard to study in a very high standard
Medical collge in the U.S. After spending close to
$ 200000.00 in loan money, and six years of
torture for the boy to continue his studies,
finally he gave up. Now, he can't work even in the least responsible job, when I saw him, I was
crying inside.

Our society is programmed in a way "if you are not living in such a status, you are a failure".
But when we ask the person living in high status, may have hell everyday of his or her life.

Ms. Nadkarni, please keep up the good work by
writing such issues of great importance in our
time.

Excellent article...

We need to keep in mind the reason behind single-minded focus for Medical or Engineering degrees that existed till a decade ago.

At that point of time, out economy was not that good. And we did not have money to pay for things that generate alternative career. a Times have changed for good, hopefully they will stay that ways.

Chandra: Thanks, glad you liked it. I agree completely. Job satisfaction and motivation are the primary means towards increasing productivity within an industrial setting. Being happy while working ensures that the person does not find reasons to slack, leave early or maintain a bad work ethic. This in turn contributes towards how much each employee contributes towards the net growth of the organization/ company. An excellent point.

Shantanu: Thank you so much. I am glad you enjoyed reading it!

Mr.Mathew: Appreciate the kind comments. Yes, I agree with a lot of issues you have brought up. Happiness, content and success are all subjective. A person, especially a child should learn to find their true calling in terms of occupation instead of being driven or forced into one by his parents and societal pressure. The kind of pressure faced by children in India thwarts creativity and probably costs our nation a great deal of talent. To be honest, job satisfaction should ideally begin with the teachers themselves....a lot of the educators are not in a teaching career because they want to be teachers. Some just land a teaching job. This discontent reflects on the way they deal with their students. This cycle needs to be broken.

Shamit: Thanks. I think that a lot of the social pressure surrounding being a doctor/ engineering took focus away from other career options that also brought in the dough but were just not known about. I think it was more about ignorance than about economic needs. Peope didn't know of many other lucrative careers that ensured growth and hence they guided their children based on the few that they did know of. When I chose Pharmaceutical Sciences (which is also a professional course like Medicine and actually provides more options post undergrad) people assumed I did so coz I didn't get into medicine. Students prefered a degree in Homeopathic medicine so that their parents could have the satistfaction of their child's name being peceeded by "Dr". They had no clue what B'Pharm was. I got asked by high school teachers if B'Pharm had something to do with Agriculture/ Farming. I was 16-17 and I was stunned by this lack of information. This lack of knowledge is what has led parents to insist that their child grows up to find a niche in only the few options that they knew would guarantee success. Now factors such as the internet, career guidance seminars, other members in the family venturing into diverse fields are all increasing awareness. Truth be told, B'Pharm itself provides quite a lucrative career and plenty options post-undergrad but parents just didn't know about the course to direct their kids. To me this is more than just an economic cause, its also a matter of awareness. And I agree, this trend seems to be changing now. Children themselves are becoming more vocal and insistent about what they wish to pursue.

********

I am very glad that you all were able to relate to the relevance of this issue. A few years ago I wanted to do something about this issue and started providing career guidance and information to students at my university. I hope that by doing something so small some of my readers will also find it in their hearts to help the coming generation.

When we find job satisfaction, contentment in our careers we should also find time to give back to our academic institutions and the students there. No better way to spread our own good fortune, right? :)

******

Thank you all for the kind comments.

As the mom of a 14-year old, the Great Career Debate is starting to rear its head. 'What does she want to become?' everyone asks me. I smile and say 'Right now, she's saying marine biologist but I don't really know.' The answer satisfies everyone. Marine biologist sounds, er, learned. Definitely Science, then, after the 10th exams. Not Commerce. Or, god forbid, Arts.

Aditi, you have raised a very important point worthy of discussion. I hope parents and teachers read this article. I was raised in the US (where people think creativity and plenty career choices exist) by Indian parents. Even their dearest wish was to have me be a doctor. For years I felt like a failure and had low self-esteem inspite of being a researcher and doing well at what I was doing. I graduated from UCLA and have a Masters degree but it was not enough...because I did not have my parents' approval. Now I have decidde to just do what makes me happy. Life's too short to have this unnecessary pressure looming over our heads. Money comes when you excel in your field. But money doesn't have to spell happiness. Thank you.

In a totalitarian society like the former
U.S.S.R, the State makes the decision about the
future career of the students. We all know the
outcome of total failure of communism and their
planning process. Even though, Padit Nehru didn't blindly followed that system, he took the
5 year planning from Stalin. On the other hand,
in the Western countries, the young people have
extreme freedom to select their future career,
parents will not interfere much with that. I However, parents from India even today exert
undue pressure on their children in career
choice.

Medical profession in the U.S. is a very prestigious and lucrative profession. However, I see the number of students went to Indian
medical school, after spending a lot of money came back unfinished. Yet the finished students
couldn't pass through the examinations in the
U.S. And some of them work in places of high school graduates. Had the parents allowed them to study whatever they wanted to do in life, all of them would have been very productive in their
related field of work.

We use others success as a yardstick to measure ours. I know just after my SSC exam, at one of our big family gathering someone asked me what I planning to take up as my career and I said probably do B.Sc with Microbiology or take up physiotherapy. And everyone looked aghast. In the family of budding engineers, comp whizkids, CA and ICWA( i dont even know what that is)there I was talking about taking up B.Sc. Remind you that taking up science was not enough, but not going for professional course like medical, engineering or architecture was like as blasphamous as opting for arts or commerce, or may be even worse.

I do understand pressure of finding a niche profession in an overcrowded country like ours,.... no one happens to realise the niche soon becomes a common phenomenon here. Few yrs back we were talking about biomedicine, but look at the exponential number of institutes opened in last couple of years and student enrollment. We need to understand "whatz HOT today... tomorrow its not".

One problem with our education system is it tries to be more "accomodating". I do agree everyone has right to be educated, but we have to understand that only chosen few can be professionals. Just look at sheer number of engineering colleges we have in India. Each academic year another 20- 30 are allowed to open up their shop. With thousands of engineers passing out each year (thanks to our accomodating policy) there is no enough room for employing these engineers,almost 50 % B.E grads end up taking a jobs paying measly Rs2000-3000 a month, which is at par or even less offered to a B.comm or B.A grads. So now we end up with highly qualified poorly paid frustrated engineers.

We believe that trodden paths offer security. I sometime wonder had I taken up engineering or headed for commerce, just to satisfy everyones expectations, would I have been at the position I am today??? probably No, for sure I knew it was not the place my heart lay.

Things may be changing but for only minute fraction of people. I remember visiting my school(read undergrad college) for one of those career counselling days and I remember final years students asking me whether they should go for M.Pharm or MBA. Not a single student asked me about new options or fields available for fresh pharmacist. They were ready to trade their place for M.Pharm, MBA or job at pharmaceutical company. They were all happy to take up the trodden path.

But all is not a dead end, UDCT( now UICT), Mumbai had this program for undergrad pharmacist (donno if they still have it). The program invited pharmacist from different fields to talk to these budding undergrad about new career options. thaz a start.

did my response deviated from job satisfaction to new ventures??? I guess it did. Sorry realised it after I published it.

What I meant was its high time we stop having ONE focal view. Understand that each one of us are different, with different capacity, capabilities and set of skills and off course likings. What pleases me may not please you.

Career to me is like an investment. You see all the plans available in the market, consult the insiders,find out the returns, weigh your capacity to take the plunge and check if the plan is line with your personal philosophy or beliefs.

THis may not be sureshot choice to fatten your bank balance, but trust me it surely offers best returns. It also teaches to have back up plans. but thaz secondary.

One thing I always kept in mind when i was making my career choices... its in line with message on a tee shirt

" Dont walk in front of me... as I wont follow u
Dont walk behind me ...as I wont lead u
Just walk beside me... so we can talk"

Never followed someone else career path, knew I had to create one my own. Never believed in leading others on my career path. Just walked with people and gave and took insight of the profession to help make an informed decision about the career.

@ Aditi,

Yes true, even people asked me if my B.Pharm (B.FARM) had anything to with farming. I remember once I actually told someone that Yes, they teach us how to graft different mango trees.
that was hillarious. !!!!!!

a.s. mathew... being a doc in the US is not always as lucrative as you might think. malpractise insurance, being totally governed by the HMOs and the flood of docs in certain specialties has made being a physician in the US less lucrative (and more restrictive) by the minute. both my parents are in the medical profession and they are fed up. I worry about my husband's career once we get there.

aditi.. am glad you wrote this. my husband is a prime example of this. he went to medical school because it was expected of him. he has no real drive to be a doc, but he's good at it and he cares about people so it's enough for him right now. I, on the other hand, am the first in my family to venture out of medicine.... undergrad degree in poli sci, and GASP! master's in.... LINGUISTICS... my parents did not love it, but they let me do it because it was what I wanted. funny thing is, now I wish I went to medical school. LOL!

The most important thing to understand is that it is never too late to change directions. So my degree says one thing... I have done everything from IT to being managing editor of a magazine, to marketing and PR, and technical writing. Nothing is out of reach if you want it badly enough. Thing is you have to have to drive to go after what will make you happy.

Two years ago I had succumbed to my mom's persistent requests to take up Dentistry (the next closest thing to Medicine, whose admission tests I flatly refuse to sit in). Despite my best attempts to convince her that I would be better off studying something I was interested in (my fondness for reading and writing meant I harbored dreams of being a journalist since the time I was about 16 years of age), she refused to understand. Earlier this year, when I failed my first professional BDS exams (I wrote about that in depth right here at Desicritics it self : http://desicritics.org/2007/05/16/083413.php )and my exam failure coincided with the first time I was paid to write (for a local IT magazine), it finally convinced her that I would only excel at something I was interested in (she may not admit it publicly but the numbers on my pay cheque probably removed several misconceptions she had about writing being a "low-paid" profession, and one that had inherent gender-biases making it "inappropriate" for girls to be in). I'm glad though that sooner or later at least she realised she was misinformed. And I'm proud of her for the fact that she didn't let her stop her from accepting her mistake. Her realizations have changed her attitude towards the whole process of choosing a career, and she now takes great interest in my writing, occasionally even offering criticism off it :) (which almost always goes to the effect of 'why are you're writing about "some website" (this was when I wrote about blogs) when when the road outside our house resembles in her words "a village path", you should write about that, and to please here, surely enough I finally did write about our road, or whatever's left of it anyway: http://desicritics.org/2007/09/20/004709.php)

So anyway, what I meant to say was I can personally relate to what you're saying. Its an excellent article that you've written and we need more of such articles and such thinking to appear in the MSM (main stream media) so that more parents can read this and realize they're mistaken. Because as noted earlier if this kind of thinking was more prevalent in parents across South Asia employee productivity would be lot greater in our parts then it is today. Also, what we need is proper counseling at schools, these counselors should be able communicate with both the parents and the children, and place in front of them both, the realities, challenges of any career choice, whist at the same time stressing on choosing something that most coincides with children's personal interests, aptitudes and skill, and not just the possible salary you might earn when you're done graduating, or how "society" will view you if you go into a certain profession.

That unfortunate thing is that such thinking amongst parents isn't born out of some ill will for their children, its just plain misconceptions, misconceptions that can be easily removed if tried properly. Its not always that they *want* to enforce their own dreams on you, or suppress your dreams, more often then not they're just misinformed. They genuinely believe they're doing something in your best interests. And if you're kid who disagrees with your parents over what career you should take, its important you realize this. I never let my mother's misconceptions about journalism as a profession doubt her love for me. Parents rely on what their good judgment and experience of seeing the world has told them. But the world has changed and medicine, engineering, business and computers aren't the only viable professional fields now. The pressure they inadvertently place on their children sometimes is often based on such misplaced notions regarding the relative lucrativeness or otherwise of certain career fields. You summed it up brilliantly in one sentence:

"Putting job satisfaction above finances is impractical. But assuming that a creative occupation would automatically be less lucrative is an error in judgment."

Yes, if you've got responsibilities, if you've got to earn the bread and butter for your family (which I didn't have to), it can be a little un-pragmatic to lean towards your inborn creative aspirations, but suppressing those desires, it must be remembered, at the same time, can have lasting consequences on your professional life, whichever career you end up compromising on. If parents are educated them selves, and have any level of tolerance to just sit down and listen to what their kids are saying, the uneasiness and misunderstanding that often results when children and their parents disagree on what career the children should take up, can be avoided. As some one whose been through all of this, I really couldn't stress enough on the need to communicate.

And thank you again Aditi for writing this relevant article. I think my mom will agree with you too :)

Thank you all for sharing your experiences and for all the kind words.

Deepa: I remember being 14 and all the pressures that came with it. My mom maintained a very neutral attitude when it came to my career choices except for occasional inputs. I hope your daughter finds her happy occupation. Good luck to her...and to you for God know the role moms play when it comes to important choices :)

Seema: Good for you! You go girl!

Mr.Mathew:Yup, productivity and job satisfaction go together!

Sandeep: I comment #9 you describe UDCT's program and honest to God this is the first time I've ever heard of it! So one thing is clear...this sorta of a venture requires some awareness and exposure in order for students to actually know about such programs/ seminars/ workshops etc.

And the mango grafts crack was funny :D Hehe.

smallsquirrel: Wow, you've done a whole lot of stuff! One of the things I have realized through personal experience is that dabbling in everything, getting a taste of a variety of areas is sometimes good thing. It helps you get a better perspective of stuff. In India youngsters don't get a job until they are all done with their education. I feel that getting a job, being in a work atmosphere from early on cultivates a healthy perspective when it finally comes to deciding your career. In India they overrate being king of one trade and encourage their child to put the blinders on early on. If you wann be an engineer, why waste your time reading Shakespeare, if you like Physics why invest yourself in genetics, is the kind of thinking that is common. This deprives kids of really growing up to fit their career. Instead they grow up convinced that the only thing they are good at and love doing is what they've always been exposed to.

Zainub: Thank you so very much for sharing your experience. I hope there are parents/ educators out there who will read about your experience and learn from it. I am glad you liked the article and found it relevant.

I was hoping to hear from women about their career choices and their own take on this post, so Seema, SS and Zainub, a special thanks to you :)

I would like to be the devil's advocate here; We seem to forget that the coin has two sides; We are way too absorbed with the tales of horror, of parents forcing the decisions down their children's throat, quite a few of which, I'm sure, are true.

BUT, I for one am glad my parents gave me some semblance of a direction. You are 16-18 and need to make one of *the major* decisions of your life, and you expect to have the breadth of experience and the sense to make a well qualified decision on your own? I know for a fact that I would have messed up. I'm sure there are many, like me, who are glad their parents challenged them; coaxed them; cajoled them to do better and aim high. I rebelled against my father till I was 21, just to realize he was true on most counts and I was a self absorbed, unfrateful bonehead.

I sure understand and appreciate people who chase their true calling and succeed. In India, its a tall order; not so much in the USA. India, unlike the west, almost never extends a second chance. Bad decisions follow you like a shadow. Infosyses of these days go over your scripts from 10th grade up damn it! If your are from a middle class family parents are working overtime to put bread on the table, they are pawning their life's savings or house to put you thru college. So they better be sure they are not supporting an empty pipe dream. Especially, if there are two more in the wings, in high school. We are talking of an aam admi in India, sans 401K, sans 529 plans and one whose retired life is at the mercy of his child's well being in the society. So, to paint an Indian parent red with guilt for being practical is not so fair. Sure we can wallow in self-pity and lament at the state of affairs of our country; try taking that thought to the market and see how many eggs you can buy. Folks cannot wait till India changes, if it ever does, and their plans need to be right-now plans, not a panchasheel yojana that does not see the light of the day. In many a cases, there is a pip to the post between a father's retirement and his child's graduation and landing a job.

Apparently, many of you here have done well. For each of you who choiced the path you chose and became successful, I'm sure there are 10 others who were determined to pursue a path they loved, they did, and are ruing their current state. I can hear very many of these folks lamenting 'I was stupid, why did my parents not know better ?' Quite a few of these folks *also* attempt suicides. The only difference is, much later in life, after they are in a financial mess with a family in tow. To say everyone who chases his or her dream will do well or rather be happy is extremely myopic and not always true.

These notions are great to entertain when you're round tummy is filled with a square meal; you are in lap of your warm recliner typing away on your laptop. Try an empty stomach, a middle class family who have gone thru the throes of hardships year after year and strive see the light of the day, where, they too have some respect....

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. But poverty can sure buy you misery...

Annupallavi: I don't think you are being the devil's advocate...assuming that the devil here is not being able to do what you love.

You were rebellious. Zainub here managed to do what she wanted to. Seema found her own niche. I try to do both...what I love and what I received my professional training in. But ultimately the educational system should ideally be cultivating at least the ability that helps us decide what we love to do. One doesn't know if they like Keats if they've never heard his poetry, right? Society as a whole should be a little more open. Most of this article is meant for Indians and children raised in India although some of it does apply to kids raised in the US. You and I and a few others made it. But a nation needs more than a few outliers, I think.

As for your concern about an "empty tummy" :) I believe I addressed that issue with an important statement in my article which may have missed your scrutiny:

"Putting job satisfaction above finances is impractical. But assuming that a creative occupation would automatically be less lucrative is an error in judgement"

I think most people assume that not following the trodden path will lead to a "poor, hungry" situation :D It amuses me really. Because most examples of dazzling success tell a different story.

Aditi,
I'm arguing against the prevailing dogma of the group's opinion, hence the devil's advocate. I understand your view. My view is that, for a commoner, there is too much at stake to let his kid, arguably one who is not sure of himself/herself, decide. We live in a practical world where there are a myraid of interdependencies. Sacrifices, personal and professional are a commonplace in and for the family. If I'm 25, a repenting struggling actor with a retired father and two siblings in college, it's not just me...

If a kid comes up to a middle aged, middle class father and declares he wants to be a cricketer, what do you think the father is faced with ? Sure there's an Irfan Pathan and a Dhoni who did well. Those numbers need multiplied millions of times if we are keeping score of the ones who failed and their family is suffering. What about the young teenagers who want to run away and become a movie star in Mumbai ? Very many end up on the streets.

But assuming that a creative occupation would automatically be less lucrative is an error in judgement. I am not. Try arguing with the statistics and match up against the lucrative ones no matter what the creativity...

But ultimately the educational system should ideally be cultivating at least the ability that helps us decide what we love to do. Society as a whole should be a little more open....

The reality is, all of the highlighted ones are NOT the case. In the meanwhile, with reality staring down at their lives, many a commoner parent needs to decide, decide now and not wait for our dear nation to catch up and be all that you argue it should be..

Satisfaction is a relative phenomenon - when you see someone else happier or doing better than you, most people tend to have lesser satisfaction than before. Conversely, most people feel more satisfied when they do better or feel happier than others.

aaman... I am not sure I agree. I think that insecure people feel that way and judge themselves based on others. but I really feel that the only way to truly be happy is not to compare and finally understand what your own individual happiness is. there will always be someone richer, prettier, thinner, with a bigger house, and a better job etc. so if you are busy making comparisons you will always, always be unhappy.

#18: Annupallavi: I disagree with you. I think its the middle clas that can truly bring about this change. I know quite a few "commoner" parents who consciously choose their child's happiness over social pressure. I also know a few commoner parents whose kid committed suicide because he/ she could not perform as expected in the SSC/ HSC exams. They need to know whats at stake here. It would benefit the middle-class more than anybody else if students were to become aware of the other lucrative options in various fields instead of sticking to the Doctor/Engineer choices.

You say "many a commoner parent needs to decide, decide now" and it just sounds funny to me coz its the student, the indivudal whose career it will be that should be doing the deciding. Not their parents!!

#19 Aaman: The satisfaction that you are speaking of is actually prestige, self-esteem, I think. You take a look around, you see other people doing better, earning more, you feel a sense of inferiority...thats a wounded self-esteem. Personally, it is a bit unhealthy I would think to find happiness and contentment in matching up social status with people around you. It brings temporary satisfaction, not long-term content.

The sense of discontent I am referring to is the one you feel when you are at work and stealing glances at the clock all the time. It is the lump in one's throat on a Sunday coz tommorow is a work day. That kind of unhappiness is hard to live with. People spend the rest of their lives wondering "What if...?"

I agree that satisfaction is relative and the happiness at work comes from various sources for people. Thats what this article is about: Do what makes you happy.

I take my own example when I write my stuff: I am happy in science coz I'm good at what I do. I write poetry and make films coz I love to. But god forbid if I had to EVER work in a bank, as an accountant or something, I swear I'd throw myself off a building.

I've actually seen some of my friends go into commerce post-HSC coz their parents felt twas a safe choice. Some of them did truly find their niche in accounting but the few ones that are unhappy are just sorely regretful.

Finding what one truly loves doing is a blessing I think.

aditi... no I think what aaman was talking about is the *opposite* of self-esteem! when you have high self esteem you do not give a flying rat's behind if someone else has a better car or whatever, because you believe in yourself and you are content. but OK, yes, you've said low-self esteem causes people to look around and compare themselves to others. I guess we're saying the same thing.

high self-esteem = self actualization
low self-esteem = comparison to others and unhappiness

no?

I wasn't condoning the behavior, just mentioning that most people do this, and most people ARE insecure

Couldn't agree more with Aaman.

Aditi,
Sure some of what I say is funny to you and what you say, down right impractical. Looks like you misssed most of what I said about how in a practical situation its not just the teenager deciding what he/she needs to do. There is a family baggage if you are from a middle class. I could'nt pursue my masters as there had to be someone to earn.

god forbid if I had to EVER work in a bank, as an accountant or something, I swear I'd throw myself off a building.

but annupallavi, we're talking here about what track people have been forced to set upon by their parents in terms of education/career planning. you really do not need that much education to work in a bank (unless you're one of the very higher-ups, and then still....), and if your family is that desperate (as a lot are) you're not going to have to make decisions about schooling, right? it's out of school and pop into the workforce.

we're talking, I think, about families who do have the luxury of planning a career path, and they plan it FOR their children rather than WITH their children.

I agree with you, there are a lot of families that do not have this luxury, but I do not feel that most middle class families here in india fit this bill. most will scrimp and save and do whatever it takes to get their children educated, but then they want the kids to pick what they think is the most lucrative career path... desires to be a botanist or a film critic be damned!

SS: My words: "A wounded self-esteem"...similar to a lack of self-esteem. I agree with you.

Aaman: I agree. Most people do suffer from these insecurities. It is unfortunate. I think social pressure is one of the reasons for heightened insecurities related to such prestige issues.

Annupallavi: I was at a loss for words when I read your comment (which is rare). Nothing I have suggested in this article is impractical by any means. I think you choose to see it that way. If you want desperately to be the "devil's advocate" you may. But unfortunately you are not refuting any of the points I make in my article. ***Hopefully with this following summary I will help you see my point:

I speak of an education system where children be allowed to explore, you speak of a widow, a full grown adult who has no choice but to do what is lucrative. I talk about the **other** LUCRATIVE (meaning money-generating) options which people are unaware of and you seem to for some reason think that I am urging everyone to be poor, unpaid, broke, eccentric artisans living on railway platforms having dropped out of school :D That is NOT what I am suggesting. It doesn't have to be that extreme. Someone who chooses journalism over engineering, biology over economics, language studies over medicine can ALSO make a very good living. People just aren't aware of these options and the scope available in the current job market. I wonder if you've read my article at all. I am not suggesting that people drop out of school and reject high-paid jobs. I am in fact refering to the kind of pressure exerted by society, education systems and parents on young children which breaks their confidence and leads to suicide, pyschological issues, low productivity in the industry, self-esteem problems.

Today I make quite a bit of money and am very successful at what I do. If I were a widowed mother with 8 kids, I'd still be able to provide. But I am not a doctor or an engineer.

Read my article again if you find time and try to understand the gist. My article does NOT reject practicality and in fact takes into consideration the fact that people NEED to be making a living while pursuing what they love. That is absolutely necessary. I agree.

A prime example is JK Rowling: As a single mother struggling to make ends meet, living off of state benefits, she wrote her first novel returning to her childhood fancy of creating fantasy tales. She too was caught in a harsh economic situation like what you have described. But what she loved doing is what brought her success.

You said: "You can afford to NOT work in a bank. But if you were a widowed mother with a sick kid in a second tier city in India , you would not only be working in a bank, but if need be, mopping floors too ... "

You are making a lot of unfair assumptions with this statement AND if I were a widowed mother with a sick kid in a second tier city in India, I would still be more comfortable doing what I love and am good at....cause I'd know I'd do well and earn enough. Why would I force myself to mop floors if I knew I did a terrible job of it? You don't think I'd be fired? :)

Annupallavi, honestly, you are trying hard to make this a debate about job satisfaction versus economic choices. Sadly THOSE PRECISELY are the kind of extreme mindsets I was hoping to dispel with my article. The choice does NOT have to be one or the other. Sometimes doing what you love is a better and more long-term means of bringing in an income. Since you are better at it, more productive, more involved, hence you are more likely to grow and make it big rather than if you were doing a terrible job of mopping floors.

Annupallavi,

Let me see so you think that with this post Aditi is suggesting that widowed mothers with children should give up their jobs and make kites? :D That is a very literal interpretation. If people don't have a choice obviously they have to do whatever job comes by.

I don't think this article is in any way critical of those who do a job to bridge a financial crisis!! It speaks about those who do have a choice and yet don't take up what they love...simply for reasons of social pressure. It criticizes parents who, only because of limited information and prejudice, insist on their kids following a trodden path. As for that widowed mother with children. Put your worries to rest. I don't think she will read this article and quit that job at the bank :)

No offense girl but I think the devil needs a better lawyer.

SS,
I agree with you on most counts. Caveating your thoughts as for middle-to upper middle class who do have the luxury of the choice or even most NRIs who defintely have the choice is a valid argument and one that I concurr to. No arguments there..

My objection is to Aditi's "Most of this article is meant for Indians and children raised in India although some of it does apply to kids raised in the US". A vast majority of the Indians she is referring to are parents from middle classes. It says it is easy for a parent from middle India to encourage his kid to go into a creative arena. I disagree. I say it is understandable why the parent would think otherwise. Not right; just understandable.And you or I in their shoes may not have made much different a choice. And yes, sad as it may seem, the decision is a family decision in most cases, not just individual.

If the family has financial needs and the choice is between a software engineer vs system admin(still software) vs an aspiring journalist and we compare the projected job openings when the kid graduates, per today's reality the software opening, even as compared to a system admin(still software) will be more. A parent who is going to put his hard earned buck behind his kid's aspiration will have to think and ascertain if its worthwhile or a wild goose chase. While a rich dad or an NRI with a fairly decent bank balance (and the safety net of the west) is a lot better positioned to not force and give the kid more leeway.

And how many 16 year olds know what their true calling is ? To say I knew what my calling was at 16, would be foolish. I did not have a friggin clue. I'm sure there are many like me who are glad they got into what had a better chance for success(that's what the parents are rooting for..), even if it was not my choice.

Aditi,
I do get your pitch on the **other** lucrative arenas. But my point is, the trodden path has a greater number of opportunities and
lesser risk. It is the reason why parents want that safe route than a lucrative new one. Like I said, I admire people who have heeded their calling despite the challenges ; just that, it's not fair to target the parents for aiming for a safer route. And yes, sad as it may seem, the decision is a family decision in most cases, not just individual.

Just look at the statistic of the software professionals coming into US vs ones who come on creative arenas; the ratio would be heavily weighted in favor of the software engineers. When a parent looks at that, if he/she IS tempted to steer their kids to what is the current trend in the market, they are not at fault; they are human. Kinda talks into Aaman's 'Satisfaction is a relative phenomenon..'. If Software Enginners are making money , heading to lucrative offers in the west and there is a good demand and hence a very good chance of landing a job, a parent would be tempted to suggest that.

Sushma,
You miss the point by a continent. Aditi with her secure background could have pursued her true calling. I have had friends who had to drop out of 6/7 semesters of engineering and take up jobs when their fathers passed away and wa ve good bye to their true calling. My father was talked out of is medical career and had to pursue diploma and later engineering. It is very common in middle India to not follow your dream and make a sacrifice for your family.

In short my position is, if you are talking of the upper middle class, the rich and the NRI folks, I agree. No qualms there. I DO NOT think it is such a simple decision for an average middle class or lower middle class family to look at creative arenas. It is not proven and the market is not bubbling with opportunities as with the trodden path. That sheer probablity makes a typical middle India parent, with their fianncial, social and soceital obligations, as a family decide on safer, more established routes. It's not fair in any way. But it is not fair to fault the people who choice that route either. I am from that demographic and I have done damn well as well though I did not have the luxury of alternatives Aditi had...

"Satisfaction is a relative phenomenon - when you see someone else happier or doing better than you, most people tend to have lesser satisfaction than before. Conversely, most people feel more satisfied when they do better or feel happier than others."

I agree with you Aaman, if I don't have money for food, I will not daydream about becoming piolot.

Annupallavi (...and Samadhan), you guys are absolutely right. You win. My bad. Screw job satisfaction. Who cares if people are happy doing what they do.

The middle class (which Annupallavi, is where my "privileged" and "secure" life belonged once upon a time, by the way) is apparently in greater despair that I had imagined. While parents can afford to spend horrific amounts of money on tuitions and classes, they obviously cannot not bestow liberty of choice when it comes to their child making such an important decision.

This article was not meant to snub those who have made difficult choices in the face of adversities but for those who pressurize their children into bending their decisions. If you could not grasp that, I will consider it a failure in my writing. I was not able to convey it. Sincere apologies.

I always have, thus far, tried clarifying my points to people on this forum but sometimes I run into a few who choose not to see it.

For those of you who did understand that this article was not about "daydreaming" or venturing into "low paying" careers, I hope it helps you in your career decisions in some way.

"Intellect is not just defined by one's grades, percentages, marks and test scores. Intellect has greater bearings in creativity, expression and unique perspective. These manifestations of intellect put people above mediocrity and beyond the judging hum of the masses."

I disagree. Intellect CAN be defined by one's grades percentages, test scores etc. If a person scored high on an exam I would certainly believe that he not only is intelligent but a wonderful exam taker. How can you say that intellect has greater bearings in creative expression and unique perspective? Granted all these require intellect but it's a different kind of intellect..I wouldn't go so far as to rank it higher than doing well in school or on exams. Both require different forms of intelligence. And what Ms. Nadkarni may I ask is wrong with mediocrity? Your statement/tone implies you look down on it.

Just a word of advice from a person who is a lot older than you. You can chose to ignore it. A person's writing reveals a lot about their views and opinions and surprisingly their nature as well. From reading your other posts and comments, you seem to have this need to please your readers. and when you encounter people who have something negative to say or don't entirely agree with you..you get very very defensive, sarcastic and come across as a stubborn kid who can't take criticism. If you set out to please your readers you will never achieve that, I can guarantee it. But more importantly this need will lead you to unhappiness. You can't always win or have others see your viewpoint..agree to disagree while respecting other opinions and for your own sake please try not to be so condescending and sarcastic if you get criticized..it's well worth it just to keep mum and ignore some people.

#31 Dr.Kamat: We will very simply have to agree to disagree on one issue. You think scores and exams define intellect. I don't. If you would like your intellect be defined by the percentage and scores on your diploma, thats fine by me. I would however take great offense if somebody defined mine using those standards.

Here are the Dictionary definitions of "mediocrity" which may provide an insight into why I tend to look down upon it:

1. of only ordinary or moderate quality; neither good nor bad; barely adequate.
2. rather poor or inferior.

Sarcasm is one of my follies I admit :) but just for the record: when I do get defensive it is usually not because I care what readers will think of ME but because as an author on such a public forum I feel responsible towards the kind of thinking I subscribe to. I do not want a youngster to go away thinking that his scores, grades matter more than his talent and are in any way an unquestionable measure of his abilities. I do not want a person reading about career decisions to go away assuming that creative careers are always low paying and less lucrative.

That being said, as you mentioned in your comment that you are much older than me, your advice is something I will definitely bear in mind. Thanks.

Dr Kamat,

When someone say "Intellect is NOT JUST defined by one's grades, percentages, marks and test scores", that means author acknowledges there are other dimensions to define intellect.

Now "Intellect CAN be defined by one's grades percentages, test scores etc. If a person scored high on an exam I would certainly believe that he not only is intelligent but a wonderful exam taker." For the CAN part, she never argued that.What she is trying to say is that grades are not the ONLY criterion to judge ones intellect. on second note,I would personally be intelligent than a good exam taker. how abt u?

I strongly believe that intelligence and wisdom are not age specific. So just because someone is senior or older than me, shd I buy he/she is "intelligent" too?

In defence of author here, she is never out to please her reader...thankfully. Infact I appreciate her sanity, frankly I wud go nuts if people who dont even have the remote clue as what the article is about try to post their "intelligent" replies and try taking forum to a tangent.


Now said that... lets ask a simple question- Bill Gates,( if any1 here who doesnt know his name, seriously shdnt be even here) a hardvard droppout ... do u know what he was enrolled for??-Pre-Law. Now just imagine what wud have happened if he would have persued the career on his family wishes of continuing the legacy of his father instead of his passion for technology. A lawyer for a geek.

He was an avg joe, a college droppout.... do we consider him a dumbdodo,just because he didnt have flying grades or we should consider him a genius who persued his passion and ended up being a billionnaire.???

Agreed everyone will get their daggers out saying that not everyone is Bill Gates. But they forget, before Bill Gates, there was NO bill gates either. what made him Bill Gates was his passion, his fervor, his constant struggle. We dont have to be (necessairly) another Bill Gates to measure our success, but we can atleast be Aditi, Sandeep, Aman, Seema, Small squirrel......

my 2 cents.

Sandeep: Thanks! I appreciate it. :)

Having spent years being the outlier during my undergrad training in India, Dr.Kamat's response came as no surprise to me. There was a time in pharmacy school where I seriously doubted my own abilities because of the popular judgment of "higher scores, more intelligent". Tests bored me then. The boxed, restricted regurgitation of ideas and meaningless mnemonics frustrated me and left me in sort of an "intellectuall depression". When this phase finally passed, it did teach me an important lesson: your environment does affect the way you guage your own abilities and aptitude. It is therefore very important for today's youngsters to keep a solid eye on their own performance and judge it based on their own standards and not just on what is the popular scheme of things around them.


I think that the last paragraph of your comment, using the Bill Gates example, makes a very good point that I had hoped my own article would've driven home. There are two kinds of people: those who rationalize for not having gone after their dreams and those who do it no matter what and prove the former wrong. Of course those who don't have either a fair choice or a feasible dream don't figure into that equation.

I just hope that in the coming years the youth of our nation will have more creative, diverse and explorative avenues to channelize their talent.

As for Dr.Kamat's accusation of being "defensive"...if I weren't so fond of defending my own ideas, I wouldnt have put up my ideas on such a public forum for scrutiny, right? :)

Dear Ms. Aditi,
A very interesting idea and it very much complements my way of thinking. The complexity of the situation is that we have been exposed to so much avenues today that the richness of the tapestry is difficult to digest.
It was very easy earlier. A doctor, Engineer or an IAS and in a few cases a CA and to cap it all in the 70's it was the banking sector. Today the dimensions are awesome, I never knew a subject like Fashion Design existed, Design as a topic has varied hues and it is so huge that sometimes you are in the wilderness when someone explains about how publishing is designing but also graphic representaion is alo design!! It is mind boggling.
Previously it was medicine. Today, oncology, radiology, pathology,nephrology, dentistry. Wow! I caanot list all as I am not so literate in the field of medicine.
Today Ayurveda has also taken a front seat with all the Gym's Spa's, health clincs coming into operation. We have Massuers,swedish, Indian Japanese etc.
What about a supposed to be a lowly act as cutting the hair. Today it is an Industry by itself.
Everything for itself and everything by itself. What a wonderful world. Nature has given everything to us but we keep ourselves away from all of it because we want more and more and hence we stick to the beaten path and crucify ouselves on the altar of ego and self aggrandisement.
The Indians have been ravished for more than two hundred years and their self respect has been totally wiped out in every form and the only way out was to get a OBE, a KBE, a Rao Bahadur etc. For this, what was needed was power and for this money and hence we lost touch with reality.
The right path was supposed to be grades , Grades, and more Grades!! More qualifications and the ultimate a job abroad! The mindset has been scrimping and saving to get "THAT PLACE IN SOCIETY" and hence the jump on to the band wagon.
Today it is a free opportunity. Today the air is filled with opportunity and grades are supplementary because people have heard of Bill Gates, Apples Job, Narayanmoorthy, Premji Sterilites Agarwal and the most famous Dhirubhai the Indian Icon!
The world is changing and it will take a few more years for our society to understand the world of opportunities, but your thoughts were very relevant and go a long way in getting things in the right perspective.
Regards,
vck