Satire: The Couple Sponsor

May 18, 2007

Warning : Some of the words/sentences below may be offensive to some readers. Reader discretion is advised. No offense intended.

Look no step further, and read the Co-et-al as it is meant to be, for when you wish to abbreviate the topic of the post, it is all too obvious what it stands for.

Fumble, Fondle
Tumble, Cuddle
Snuggle, Meddle

Use F**K For Ur Co-et-al Kama!

In 5 years' time, there will be a complete package for any couple that wants to marry. Right from providing matrimonial service, to the point of procreation, all inclusive package deals. Just Rs. 2 lakhs. * Conditions Apply. I will come to the conditions part real soon.

I came across an article in Yahoo News about the Indian Wedding Services Industry. Corporate India will now sponsor and give complete packages for any lavishly spent Indian Wedding. Match Making To Love Making. Though Love Making as an industry is yet to see a greater demand, the way Indian Weddings are being conducted that day won't be far away either.

Imagine a wedding which has been sponsored and arranged by sites. Assume the advertisements were to depict a couple meeting on AahatMatrimony.

Boy & Girl: I am thrilled at having met my soulmate through AahatMatrimony. I thank AahatMatrimony for the great service it provides for millions of singles. Thank You AahatMatrimony.

Since matrimonial sites are pitching in to arrange weddings as well, the parents of the boy & girl would opine thus, in advertisements for the very same matrimonial sites.

Parents : I am thrilled at having chosen AahatMatrimony as our Wedding Sponsor.They have taken care of match making to catering, and gifts. I couldn't' have asked for a better service.

Come the time and hour for love making, the remaining sponsors are there again. Let's see how it goes.

Boy & Girl In Bed :

Our Fumble & Fondle, brought to you by - FF Corp
Our Tumble & Cuddle, brought to you by - TC Corp
Our Snuggle & Meddle, brought to you by - SM Corp

Once in the process of foreplay and lovemaking, come the ubiquitous ads of garments and inner wears.

Boy : Honey, this feels so nice. Which brand is it ?
Girl : Utaaro Saari Brand. Do as the brand says honey.

Girl : Honey, you look handsome in this shirt. Which brand is it ?
Boy : Unbutton & Slide Fabrics. Do as the brand says honey.

Boy : Honey, this blouse is so silky. Which brand is this ?
Girl : Open & See Silks. Do as the brand says honey.

Girl : Honey, your vest is so sexy. Which brand is it ?
Boy : Feel & Peel. Do as the brand says honey.

Boy : I can't imagine how sexy you are. What innerwears are you wearing honey ?
Girl : Bare Necessities Innerwear. Make them unnecessary honey.

Girl : I can't wait for you honey. But what brand of pants are these ?
Boy : Take Off Now fabrics. Do as the brand says honey.

Girl (Again) : When do you plan to take it out honey? Wait, what brand of briefs are these ?
Boy : Rock Hard Inside innerwear. Please find out yourself honey.

At the end of all the advertising, and promos, and the final act of procreation, the sweating couple shout - "For Ur Co-et-al Kama", contact the nearest office in your city.

1. In Bed Satisfaction Cannot Be Guaranteed By Our Agency.
2. Services Given Based On Gender Choices. Depending on genders involved, positions may vary.
3. Successful Procreation Cannot Be Guaranteed Through Our Service.
4. For Better Results, Log Back Into AahatMatrimony for another partner.

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