NEWS

Aishwarya at Cannes Says Honeymoon Is The Best Time For 'Normal' Women

May 17, 2007
Deepti Lamba

Aishwarya Bachchan at Cannes needs to be canned. I mean literally! Here is her response to a question posed to her:

Rajeev Masand: Now, you have been on a long holiday. It's been the honeymoon and you have been a while away from home, haven't you?

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan: Yes, it has been fantastic. It's probably the best time for any normal girl.

Excuse me, any normal girl? What did she mean? Women who don't enjoy their honeymoons aren't normal? The babe has been exposed to the male anatomy more times than anyone of us would want to know and it isn't our business to question her past colored by monogamous promiscuity but her careless statement shows the lard of fat that sits between her ears.

For many 'South Asian' women the honeymoon period can be a jarring time when they try to come to terms with the male sexuality. Most Desi girls are bought up to fear strange men and are admonished to guard their virginity no matter what.

Sex is treated as a dirty activity, best not talked about and indulged in with the woman lying on her back wondering about the cobweb trailing on the fan with her husband humping her missionary style.

Before the wedding the virgin is generally told by an aunt that sex hurts initially, its dirty and a duty to be performed with no questions asked. Does one really expect an apprehensive woman whose exposure to men has been limited to family and male relatives to suddenly rip her clothes off and say - Come Do Me Raju!!

Here is what generally happens - either the men force themselves on the women and it becomes honeymoon from hell or they become friends and after returning home from the vacation they have sex.

Love marriages are on the rise in India and hopefully men are more sensitive to womens' needs. But when a honeymoon goes wrong do we lay the blame on the woman and say that she wasn't normal and so her honeymoon didn't go right?

Deepti Lamba is a writer, an editor for Desicritics. She can be found at Things That Bang
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#1
Die Hard
May 17, 2007
05:27 AM

Bit too harsh on our new Mrs. Bachchan... aren't we?

#2
smallsquirrel
May 17, 2007
05:58 AM

DH.. no I agree with Deepti.

Deepti.. well my honeymoon was hell on wheels for other reasons. I took my husband to Italy to meet the relatives that had not made it to our wedding. I had planned (in retrospect) a very ambitious touring schedule that left us both irritated and overwhelmed when we were already exhausted. Plus it was 38 degrees and most homes don't have a/c there. And it was my husband's first time out of India. So I guess I am abnormal, too. :P

#3
Sanjeev
May 17, 2007
09:02 AM

Hi Deepti,

Don't read too much into it. Semantics isn't Aishwarya's forte. Had she used "Typical" instead of "normal", you wouldn't be so hot under the collar.

#4
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 17, 2007
09:30 AM

DH, I'm sure she can deal with a bit of constructive criticism;)

SS, all I remember about my honeymoon was chumming and being exhausted for the three days that we were supposed to have a memorable time. Add me to the list;)

#5
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 17, 2007
09:38 AM

Sanjeev, the term 'typical' is even more offending as it reinforces a stereotype.

#6
Sanam
May 17, 2007
09:45 AM

@ Deepti.

If Rajeev Masand would have posed the same question to you while you were on your honeymoon, what would you say?

#7
Amrita
URL
May 17, 2007
09:54 AM

Curses, i saw her get interviewed but the audio was on the blink. I don't know if it was Rajeev Masand or somebody else but she looked a lot better than she had in years - very young and relaxed and natural.

I guess that's the Aishwarya conundrum isn't it? She's always better with the sound turned off. (Don't kill me Ash fans, j/k!)

Funny as ever Dee!

#8
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 17, 2007
10:03 AM

Sanam, I would not have spoken for the entire 'normal' female gender. Being an actor and that too having been a Miss World she should have perfected the art of being politically correct.

Amrita, I will merely copy paste the above comment if I get flamed;) I find it amusing how the Bachchans are trying white wash that wild filly. She hardly figures in my radar but someone has to speak up for us abnormal women;)

#9
Sanam
May 17, 2007
10:09 AM

@deepti..

Fair enough. Now lets focus on the other word said in her reply . "Probably" . Having focussed on that Now what do you think of the entire reply?

#10
Aditi Nadkarni
URL
May 17, 2007
10:21 AM

Deepti:

You have actually addressed a very poignant issue that is central to young women in India. I don't know whom to blame, AR or Bollywood portrayals of the "suhaagraat". It could be the "bringing a glass of milk" scene that drives me up the wall, the several illogical tabboos associated with sex or the happy "dancing around the trees" portrayal of a honeymoon, the truth remains that several young women face the nerve wrecking and sometimes traumatic experience of their wedding night. The groom is ill-advised by his equally inexperienced friends who try living vicariously through him and the girl is advised by the aunty-jis who do more damage than help by scaring the girl with their archaic views about sex and relationships.

Although I get the abysmal feeling that the point of this article may be sadly lost (as usual) on most men who will now systematically dissect your article as being some news report about their beloved Ms.Rai, I have to say, as a woman, I find your honesty very refreshing.

#11
ranjit
May 17, 2007
10:43 AM

this article is ridiculous. What do u want her to say, `yes, i am having a good time, better than other woman who have to go through pain and suffering during their honeymoo....

#12
DG
May 17, 2007
11:54 AM

All ye abnormal woman, say aye!

#13
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 17, 2007
12:12 PM

Sanam, it is still a blanket statement.

The definition of probably is -likely

It's probably 'likely' the best time for any normal girl.

Still a self absorbed assumption.

Aditi, well put! I can see the making of a good post:)

Ranjit, it would have been better if she just said she was having a fantastic time and left it at that and not put her foot in her mouth with her useless motherhood statement.

DG, we seem to have opened a Pandora's Box;)

#14
Sanam
May 17, 2007
12:18 PM

Deepti.

Thanks for your clarification.

#15
Ajit
May 17, 2007
01:00 PM

Amazing....how much jealousy one woman inspires...

#16
Amrita
URL
May 17, 2007
01:15 PM

Eye roll #1

#17
Aspi
URL
May 17, 2007
01:17 PM

Deepti and Aditi, between the two of you there is a fabulous point worth expounding. You should do a side-by-side perspective on this.

Starting a post with Ms. Rai comes with its own baggage, doesn't it?

#18
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 17, 2007
01:20 PM

Amrita, hehehhehee

#19
Aaman
URL
May 17, 2007
01:24 PM

She belongs in the silent film era - geddit?!

#20
Carol
May 17, 2007
03:02 PM

the embodiment of everything that is wrong amongst women - bitchiness being the prime example.

Why is it everything that is said or not said by Aishwarya criticized? Why can't you hens (I would use the B word but that is insulting to women who see it as a pledge of honor) give the woman a break? She made an innocent statement and you have to give it your own interpretation. Enough already!

By the way, since when does having two long term relationships prior to marriage represent promiscuity? And you all present yourselves as feminists?

It is sad to see so much hate targeted to one woman who has done nothing to harm anyone. You may not like her and that's fine but she is not the devil and is not responsible for all that is wrong in India. It is a wonder that she has maintained some dignity even with all the hate targeted to her and not cracked up and acted out like other celebrities (the losers of the world like Britney, Lindsay, Paris, etc.).

Please allow Aishwarya to enjoy what little bit of happiness she seems to have now. Isn't that what we all seek? Let's focus on other more important issues.

#21
K S
May 17, 2007
03:14 PM

Ash can only relate to her experience. She considers herself normal and made the comment that any normal girl will enjoy.

#22
Ashley
May 17, 2007
05:07 PM

WTF?! ok you are the most ignorant person ever!
thats to show how unbelieveably incompetent some writers are...if you knew anything about Ash youd know that she always stresses that she is simply a normal girl like anyone else. her response simply meant that like any other normal person she is having a wonderful time. where the hell is the need for this damn useless indept sex talk about her?! and who are you to say that Ash was promiscuous before?! did you sleep with her?! i think not...do something better with your time deepti lamba and trying developing your brain a little more.. its really sad that a woman wrote this bullshit article.

#23
Aditi Nadkarni
May 17, 2007
07:21 PM

What did I tell ya Deepti, the Ash protectors are here...completely missing the point of your article and assuming that it centers around AR.

#24
shilpa
May 17, 2007
07:30 PM

Probably this is most disgusting article i ' ve ever read. Its a shame to call this writer as a writer supposedley editor.what's ash got to do with all those things in india. these sort of writers and the supporters of this article are the miserable people ( losers ) of the society, who satisfies their ego by targeting successful,pro active thinking women. These so called feminists lived all their lives as slaves under the excuse of tradition and male dominance cannot accept any women like ash,sush, etc.... who should be a role model to indian women.I could understand if this was an opinion of ignorant and illiterate bihari women but shame on the womanhood to have people like you in india

#25
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 17, 2007
11:54 PM

Aditi, anger clouds judgment;)Hilarious

Aspi, good idea but it would be nice to have some male perspective on it too.

For all the Aish fans read comment #8 as my response to your rants.

#26
smallsquirrel
May 18, 2007
12:12 AM

oh brother... the comments just keep getting wackier!

I have a question for you Ash fans. Why do you act as if you know her? How can you get personally offended about someone's opinion about a public figure? And how can you call what Deepti has said not feminist? That makes no sense. Feminism allows us to speak our minds... whether or not anyone agrees with it. What is not feminist is calling someone a bitch just because you don't agree with their point.. or should I say just because you don't UNDERSTAND their point.

As women you should be MUCH more concerned with the point that Deepti has made about what some women do endure on their "honeymoon" than what some actress is doing in her spare time. Aishwarya doesn't need your help and support. She is doing just fine with her crores and her media machine. Who does need your help are women like the ones mentioned in this article who are subject to what amounts to rape on their wedding nights. But you cannot get that. You're delusional thinking some princess already safe in her ivory tower somehow needs you to defend her.

And how funny that in the same comment someone would call Deepti unfeminist then demean poor women in Bihar! A poor women in Bihar cannot be a role model to Indian women? Is that what you meant to say, Shilpa??? *THAT* is ignorance.....

#27
Amrita
URL
May 18, 2007
12:23 AM

LMAO @ "shame on the womanhood"! Truly, God is in the details. I wonder how "feminist" these people are automatically assuming this is about jealousy!

Btw, Dee, I read that interview and I think she was trying to say that SHE is usually abnormal but she was trying to be "normal" in this instance. Go figure.

#28
Aditi Nadkarni
URL
May 18, 2007
12:37 AM

Deepti: You know what I found the funniest, my roommate actually rolled with laughter at this comment by Carol: "Please allow Aishwarya to enjoy what little bit of happiness she seems to have now. Isn't that what we all seek?"

Haha. Yes, let's leave "poor" Aishwarya Rai alone, for what has she really gotten in life but for this "small bit of happiness". Being a LO'Real Brand ambassador rakes in some big bucks and being married into the Bachchan family is like being ushered into Bollywoodland where Ms.Limited Acting Talent will now permanantly have a place whether we like it or not. But come on, lets not heckle her thus...after all once she hits the 40s all they'll have her do is wear a cotton sari and join political rallies.

Leave the poor girl alone, Deepti. Look at our lives. We get to write on Desicritics and actually defend our ideas with rational, humor or even ocassional intellect. We get called "losers" quite ironically by girls who think Bollywood stars are "role models". Yes, what real and inspiring lives they lead. Why would we look to authors, scientists, mathematicians, philanthropists or a few other women who choose notto shed their clothes for a few bucks when we have AR's bosom heaving to the beats of Kajrare.

What does AR really have, Deepti, that we use her name to bring attention to something as irrelevant and miniscule as wedding night trauma for young Indian women! Don't, Deepti, don't...my heart goes out to Ms.Rai who must be weeping tears of blood as she reads Desicritics articles every day. Naheeeee......

I am running outta sarcasm.

#29
Fan of AB
May 18, 2007
12:56 AM

She is Aishwarya Rai who made is on her own and sole merit.
Even the news channels flash her more than AB Jr.

A bunch of her low category critics like you all will never even be anywhere near her.

The so called " miss Limited acting talent" earns her millions of bucks. Now that is smartness. Phewwww how simple is that!!!!

A so called stupid comment creates articles on DC that will never ever be honoured by her presence.

"It's probably the best time for any normal girl."

Which is sarcasm to the stupid journo who will ask such a personal question.

Okay...he probably got, but a bunch of you idiots didn't get it.

Well well...not all is bad, one thing that Aditi Anddakarni hit correctly called you guys LOOSERS.

However, when "aishwarya rai" will be googled, and DC searches will show up on some 1000th page (thank god) and with a remote possibilty in million years will recieve a HIT--you can then then thank Mrs Aishwarya Rai Bachchan".



#30
Aditi Nadkarni
May 18, 2007
01:08 AM

To the crabby fan of AB: We do!! We absolutely and wholeheartedly do thank Mrs.Aishwarya Rai-Bachchan...for putting her foot in her mouth all the time! It is amazing. She is very good for business, I must say.

A bunch of idiots may have not gotten AR's "sarcasm", but you missed mine. So I guess idiots aren't that rare after all.

"A bunch of her low category critics like you all will never even be anywhere near her."

No we won't, we will only garner personal attacks from low category commentators such as yourself! :)

#31
smallsquirrel
May 18, 2007
01:34 AM

well, Aditi... we are "loosers"

BWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAH.

(insert about a million bad jokes here)

#32
Die Hard
May 18, 2007
02:13 AM

Amrita #16,
Don't know why you had to roll your eyes! I did see this interview on NDTV.

I' m sure we all agree that Aishwarya is an exceptional beauty (and therefore not 'normal' by any stretch of the imagination). Most of you will agree that she's neither the most articulate person nor the spokesperson for women's affairs and issues.

So, why have a major discourse on something as unintentional as calling herself a 'normal girl'. A slip of the tongue!

Shilpa, I don't think jealousy has anything to do with it. I think its expectation. Because she's beautiful and well known she's expected to appear, speak and behave perfectly. That is why I said the article is 'bit harsh' not because I agree with AR's statement.

#33
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 18, 2007
02:19 AM

Aditi, smallsquirrel and Amrita, the image that the Bachchan clan are trying to project of Aish to the media and the world itself is vomit worthy. She is trying to act like a sati savitri, an image we Indian 'feminists' are trying our best to shed.

Taking pot shots at me will not change the perception many of us have of Aish. She is a successful actor and good for her but when she suffers from foot in the mouth syndrome she is open for criticism just like any other celebrity.

One has to be careful as to what one says to the media. Like I said before all she had to say was that she was having a good time and not blathered her pouty mouth off.

If this was her version of sarcasm then its an art thats clearly not her forte.


#34
Amrita
URL
May 18, 2007
02:22 AM

DH - um, that was for Ajit and his jealousy argument. Why don't you wait till I roll my eyes at something you said before you take exception to it? Especially when you don't agree with the very thing that made me roll my eyes?

#35
Ajay
May 18, 2007
02:27 AM

I am not a fan here and do not care about AR and the number of hits google can give for her name. The article rightly highlights the plight of an average indian woman who is insulated and brain washed by the society. But, it seemed like the author had these views and was bursting to air them, found the seemingly innocent comment from AR to go into a tirade against her. Granted that she should be more politically correct, but surely it was an innocent enough comment to give her the benefit of doubt. You could have written an article on the plight of women without saying this "The babe has been exposed to the male anatomy more times than anyone of us". It makes the author loose credibility.

#36
Die Hard
May 18, 2007
02:42 AM

Amrita- Um, my Bad (I guess...) Cos you said "Eye roll #1". Next time I will wait.

#37
Amrita
URL
May 18, 2007
04:22 AM

DH - Oh, I see :) No, that's coz I was sure there were going to be more eye-roll worthy posts to come after that and sure enough! there were!

#38
DG
May 18, 2007
04:33 AM

Dee:
Re your remark at #13, well, we do our bit to spice up our lives, don't we? :D

Aditi:
"Poor Ash" indeed! Pity she didnt shell out some dosh along the way for some desperately needed acting lessons. Then we might all be a tad less caustic towards Ms Plastique-Fantastique. Funny thing is, when she 'acted' as SRK's twin in that movie whatzizname, it was like a match made in heaven. Twins u bet!

#39
Amused
May 18, 2007
09:50 AM

Deepti i think its about time u start watching newer hindi movies. i mean the whole aunt educating the virgin bride is a bit 80s dont u think. i mean sure there must be some parts of the country where girls are totally shielded from sexual knowledge but times are changing and girls are more informed.
its sad u have address an issue like weddding night rape in an article so full of shoddy remarks about another human being.
how would you like if someone commented about the condition of your hymen before and after ur marriage? and i am not saying this coz i am an aishwarya fan . i am saying all this because if u dare to call urself a critic then at least be fair .dont just let off steam.

#40
smallsquirrel
May 18, 2007
10:15 AM

amused... not to answer for deepti, but if it is the case that women are more sexually knowledgeable, then why do I work with not one, but 7 sexually unsatisfied women who couldn't find their clitoris with a map and a sherpa? Not to mention that I am sure their husbands have no interest in finding it for them.

And these are no women in their 50's.. they are all 20's-30's... bang in the middle of bangalore.. all from middle class families. at least one of them has admitted she has never had an orgasm, and told me that frankly she isn't interested because she finds sex "dirty." (although she is 25 with 2 children). They all think that oral sex is only done and received by prostitutes and lust-crazed men, and I am quite sure they have all only done it in the missionary position and strictly with the lights OFF.

So tell me, how much progress has been made?!?!?

#41
Fan of AB
May 18, 2007
12:29 PM

Aditi Anddakarni

"No we won't, we will only garner personal attacks from low category commentators such as yourself!"

Speak for yourself only


No I did not miss your sarcasm...why are trying so hard to say you are sarcastic in # 28 and 30. If you are so be it. Dont explain it. Chill out Miss Not So Sarcastic Expressive.

And btw...you flew of the handle...why are you thanking Miss Not so talented in # 30?

#42
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 18, 2007
12:34 PM

SS, why would I shy away from talking about female sexuality especially when it's the one topic we women need to explore and understand? My Hymen was intact before marriage and I lost it post marriage. Think that answers 'amused's question.

Its sad so many women find sex to be a dirty. Its the one activity that can strengthen a relationship.

#43
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 18, 2007
12:37 PM

Aditi, grab some popcorn and sit back;)

#44
Amrita
URL
May 18, 2007
12:47 PM

SS - that's really sad. I remember a few years back, one editor of a magazine wrote that he thought everybody must be very open and aware about sexuality - before he walked into a college classroom in Lucknow and overheard some girl talking to another about the dangers of pregnancy : from a french kiss.

Aditi - congratulations! you have a fan!

#45
Aditi Nadkarni
URL
May 18, 2007
12:48 PM

The last time I heard my last name being messed up as an "offensive tactic" was in the fifth grade! Either maturity has very little to do with age or we have a fifth grader called "Fan Of AB" reading all about wedding nights and hymens.

You said: "Speak for yourself only"

I believe I speak for most of the female authors on this site who are sick and tired of ignorant, overzealous and irrational commentators. If any of these women wanted to refute my claim, they are articulate enough to say so themselves.

#46
Fan of AB
May 18, 2007
12:48 PM

Deepti,

"She is trying to act like a sati savitri, an image WE Indian 'feminists' are trying our best to shed. "

That is her prerogative. And you have yours.
Why should common Indian woman like yourself be at her mercy and rely on her to shed the so called sati savitri image.

Let her be BE and you do your own thing. She has not taken the life long obligation to do good for the society or be a feminist or whatever crap. After all even Miss India and Miss world titles last only for a year.

Moreover, they have even kept their marriage pictures private.

The ones showing her visiting Tirupati wearing a sari, how can that be construed as being sati savitri ( I know in what connotation you mean) and she was not wearing any brand ambassador hat at that moment.

Majority of the women wear a sari in India and with all due respect to them and their CHOICE and FREEDOM.
Wearing a sari and sindoor does not construe being sati savitri.

Touching the feet of the elderly, is not something conservative or sati savitri. It is culture and tradition and again a CHOICE.

However, I don't think the bachchans are trying to portray any image. They are above and beyond that.


#47
Fan of AB
May 18, 2007
12:55 PM

Aditi

You believe so that you are a rep. Thanks for the explanation. I didn't know the rest could not express themseleves.

NOW Grab some popcorn and sit back.

#48
Aditi Nadkarni
URL
May 18, 2007
01:37 PM

Fan of AB: you underestimate sisterhood :)

Cannot express themselves?

Duh! Have you been reading all the comments?!!

What you don't seem to have gathered from all the above discussions is that this article is about an issue that concerns women. The AR issue is very miniscule and used almost like one would've used a case study at hand, correct me if I'm wrong Deepti). Unfortunately, as authors we have to use current social and media figures to bring much needed attention to some very crucial points that need to be addressed. When fans of these media figures such as yourself, come out to comment, they are simply offended by the mere criticism of their beloved icon. But to insult and attack an author, for an icon who honestly doesn't give a damn about what you think, is immature and a bit much.

Nonetheless, I am just very happy that I kinda predicted this would happen in the 10th comment itself.

#49
Deepti Lamba
May 18, 2007
01:50 PM

The term 'sati savitri' has nothing to do with the womens' traditional clothing but its a condition put on women to be virgins before marriage and are expected to follow a subjugated existence under the patriarchal roof.

When a woman loses her identity post marriage its something to be lamented about.

Aish will have to prove herself yet again but I'm not too sure she would be able to do anything ground breaking in the cinematic world since the Dhoom2 kissing fiasco clearly showed that the Bachchans rule the roost with an iron hand.




#50
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 18, 2007
01:54 PM

Aditi, VAT TO DO! Bolo usko jo samjhe. I'm going and reading your post that people have been raving about.

#51
Fan of AB
May 18, 2007
02:10 PM

Aditi

Please read #49 that is a damn reply

There goes "But to insult and attack an author,..doesn't give a damn about what you think" ...into trash. You need to improve your skills to be a better rep.

#52
Aditi Nadkarni
URL
May 18, 2007
02:14 PM

Deepti, you are right (sigh)...I give up. Hope you enjoy the post :)

#53
Fan of AB
May 18, 2007
02:15 PM

Deepti,

"She is TRYING to act like a sati savitri, an image WE Indian 'feminists' are trying our best to shed. "

Okay so now you say it has nothing to do with clothing.

Then where did she claim to be a virgin and not or whatever.

Please mention what is Aishwarya TRYING to do that is encumbering what YOU Indian 'feminists' are trying your best to shed.

#54
Sanam
May 18, 2007
02:20 PM

Aditi,

Come on, you can Tickle/Humor just like you suggested to your mom several years ago. Drop the sword and try some humor. Or was that just a story???

#55
Aditi Nadkarni
URL
May 18, 2007
02:25 PM

Sanam: Glad to know that you take the time to read my articles! :)

What sword? My bubbling humor in #28 not good enough for ya?!

#56
Sanam
May 18, 2007
02:31 PM

@ Aditi,

So your mom was right( assuming that was a real mom-daughter incident), That you should "give up" after a point, when you can not sell your point.

#57
Aditi Nadkarni
May 18, 2007
03:14 PM

Sanam: You said: "That you should "give up" after a point, when you can not sell your point."

No, read the article again: It did not mean I should give up when "I" cannot "sell" my point...it indicates that I should give up when the other person vehemently chooses to be prejudiced, in denial and refuses very knowingly to see/ respect (versus"buy") any conflicting opinions. And yes, she was right. So I will rest my case.

Deepti, I apologize that this exchange is taking away from the gist of your article...it would've been more appropriate in the discussion for my article, not yours. Sorry about the deviation.

#58
Sanam
May 18, 2007
04:27 PM

@ Aditi.

Selling your point to the users (readers / audience) is an art. One can not sell much with a confrontationist tone. I understand that you ,author(deepti) and your feminist co-authors have a point which is probably right, but the tone of debate tends to inflame passions rather than selling the point. This probably is a good marketing strategy as you have greater hits on your blog.

Very truthfully, the main article by deepti is very good and it has its merits. But, in my opinion, her decision to take pot shots at an Aishwarya comment I think the comment was not a convincing enough statement which conveyed "All normal married women enjoy honeymoons (sexual intercourse)". So the seeds of an ugly debate were seeded right in the beginning. Some one also said, why do some of the readers rally behind Aishwarya? A lot of people form opinion about some one over a period of time and as a complete package. You probably want all of them to look at Aishwarya purely from a feminist angle. But for that you will have to understand the audience that you wish to reform.

I am sorry, If my comments hurt, Trust me, that is not the intent.


#59
K S
May 18, 2007
05:53 PM

The article would have served some purpose if the author had stayed away from personal attacks on Ash.

For example, calling her "promiscuous" is completely unwarranted. Only a woman knows whom she slept with (the author should know that better).

"lard of fat" between her ears!!! Man, this woman is very smart. Otherwise, she would not be this successful.

The question is, why do you have to insult Ash to highlight a social point? It is tasteless.

#60
Sanam
May 18, 2007
06:19 PM

@ KS

You said "The article would have served some purpose if the author had stayed away from personal attacks on Ash."


Exactly my point. At this point the only who people who agree with the author are the other fellow authors on this site( mostly fellow women authors). That too just because they chose to include controversial statements which have little bearing on the overall article.

This is such a waste of precious talent

#61
Abhi
May 18, 2007
10:35 PM

Deepti honey

[EDITED]
What Ash is to bollywood--- Deepti you are to Desciritics. Both are media persons and have to be very careful before putting their foot in the mouth.[EDITED]

And I hope you the owners do not delete my comments in the desicritic world since censoring comments will clearly be a fiasco and clearly show that Lamba's rule the roost with an iron and scissors in the hand.

(Part 1 coming soon with pictures folks--watch out for this space)



#62
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 18, 2007
11:23 PM

KS, Sanam, I guess you people like to take words out of context -The babe has been exposed to the male anatomy more times than anyone of us would want to know and it isn't our business to question her past colored by monogamous promiscuity but her careless statement shows the lard of fat that sits between her ears.

I guess you guys don't understand a tongue in cheek statement.

The kind of offensive remarks made against me and other ladies on this thread have been far more offensive but as usual you men are not protesting about these vulgar trolls but continue to harp about a trivial commentary.

If you are against the use of vulgar language used against individuals you should have been the first to comment but such is not the case so pipe down.

We women on this board fight back no matter how offensive the remarks so can Aish fight her own battles.

Abhi- Read our comment policy and like I say to a whole bunch of people like you - I am a writer here with editorial duties and no different from other writers on DC. The DC writers will also tell you that DC stands for Freedom Of Speech.



#63
Abhi
May 19, 2007
12:55 AM

I guess you guys don't understand a tongue in cheek statement.

Even you didn't get my comments, Deepti [edited].
If your comment towards Ash was tongue in cheek , so was mine towards you.

[EDITED]

Glad you are now whining on our offensive comments.

Making digs at Ash for some cheap fame is not going to win you any brownies.

"We women on this board fight back no matter how offensive the remarks so can Aish fight her own battles.
If you women want to group together to fight your own battles, so will Ash and her fans will fight the battles with you all. I hope that is fair.

But again the Lambas rule the roost and so also the side kicks.

Watch this space.

You will love Part 1.
Tell those side kicks of yours as well.

#64
Amused
May 19, 2007
01:56 AM

kudos KS
and deepti if u dont understand the question the first time then read it again sweetheart . i didnt want to know when u lost ur virginity . i wanted to know how would u like if someone questioned u about it.
and wat was it small pigeon , or squirrel u too need to read the post again. i said there may be a percentage of women still ignorant about sex but in general compared to earlier ,women now know more and things are getting better.
instead of dissecting the word normal it would be better to talk about these issues

#65
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 19, 2007
02:48 AM

yawn...storm in a teacup.

#66
Abhi
May 19, 2007
02:52 AM

Fine, yawn BUT dont delete the comments.

You know the truth and so also so your so called well wishers, your troop of women too.

Then why do you dread Part 1 and when the same question is doled out to you????

Not only I, but several other commentators above have asked you the same.

#67
Aaman
URL
May 19, 2007
03:02 AM

Abhi,

you're breaking the comments policy and are spamming threads - cut it out, and especially the personal insinuations

#68
Abhi
May 19, 2007
03:09 AM

Anyone who is related to the media needs to learn and has to be careful as to what one says to the media.

Like any other author who suffers from foot in the mouth syndrome then he/she must be open for criticism just like any other author.

And hold your guns, I am not spamming other threads, I did it so that others can read my comments that were deleted without any valid reason and misuse of power.

Kindly note the timings of my comments before you make any allegations.

#69
Abhi
May 19, 2007
03:14 AM

[EDITED - IRRELEVANT]

#70
Amrita
URL
May 19, 2007
03:19 AM

wow, Abhi is really obsessed with Deepti,isn't he? To the point of bestiality. Now that's what i call a dedicated troll.

#71
Abhi
May 19, 2007
03:22 AM

Yes Amrita, what to do, when she herself is obsessed with naked bodies, oomphs, underwears, lace, male anatomy, SEX SEX SEX...she will attract the same crowd. what say :)

Thank you for noticing the similarities. I appreciate it.

#72
Abhi
May 19, 2007
03:24 AM

[EDITED]

#73
Abhi
May 19, 2007
03:31 AM

As per Deepti : Please note this is a "tongue and cheek" comment and please notice the humor in it:

Yes Amrita, ( okay let me try this one)

Deepti is no stranger to male anatomy prior to her marriage just like Ash.

chill out now. Is that not okay now.

#74
Abhi
May 19, 2007
03:33 AM

BOTH ( Deepti and Ash) ARE MEDIA PERSONS AND NEED TO TAKE THAT IN STRIDE.

As per Deepti : Please note this is a "tongue and cheek" comment and please notice the humor in it:

Yes Amrita, ( okay let me try this one)

Deepti is no stranger to male anatomy prior to her marriage just like Ash.

chill out now. Is that not okay now.

#75
Aditya Mahajan.
May 19, 2007
07:48 AM

I'm not AR Fan.

I mean she looks good for the normal guy but, I think there are better actors in Bollywood. For the not so normal guys, they like Preity or Priyanka or whichever actor...

After reading Deepti's article, I read Aditi's. Read them again and, checked out the dates and comments that some of you lovely fans or no fans have been voicing.

What I find interesting is the fact that why are we even looking at it as Deepti's jealously towards AR. I think she has gotten jealous with her fellow writer Aditi's popularity to invite comments. Why would Deepti all of a sudden choose to write about AR and why would she ask time n again for Aditi's approval

Deepti: Write something worth reading and do not ride on others success.

As for Aaman and Deepti: This is no word here that can be offensive to anyone leave alone Deepti. Do use your freedom carefully while EDITING. Or why don't you stick to what you are good at - Reading 3 books per week and not editing or writing on the site.

I agree with few here, that your editorially challenged.

By the way - I'm no fan of Aditi N. either neither do I support the abusive comments from Abhi. I have a opinion.

Aaman - your time to edit starts now. Tick! Tick! Tick!

#76
Angshu
May 19, 2007
11:00 AM

Hi

We are fast approaching the century mark for comments. Please note that I am ignoring all that has been said above and remarking on the ORIGINAL post (which is around 1437 scroller rotations above by now).

The post was fun - but the paragraph just after the quote was not. Reason is simple: it reflects the same error as some of the above commenters. It attacked the person (and below the belt at that) instead of the argument.

#77
Amrita
URL
May 19, 2007
12:41 PM

Note that Abhi is not an AR fan but he spent most of a Saturday writing about Deepti because she wrote about AR.

Note that AM who came to troll after him is also not an AR fan or a Deepti fan or an Aditi fan - but he devoted all that thought to not only Deepti, but Aditi as well and for good measure Aaman and his motives.

This fear of women...

#78
Abhi
May 19, 2007
01:25 PM

Amrita

Thanks for reading and noticing. Please read carefuly and make more good notes.

This fear of women is so easy toplay with when it comes to their bedroom stories,

Amrita I will keep trolling as good as you.

#79
Fan of AB
May 19, 2007
04:26 PM

Amrita

Now you are calling us trolls...hmmmmmm. It seems like a personal attack and against comment policy.

Well I do not mind being called a troll. It is better than being someones side kick.

So Deepti, what is this that I hear that you are also no stranger to the male anatomy? Can you share that exp with us pplzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Aditya,

Deepti and jealous......you bet ya.....she is oozing with that. Are you a pyscho or what? That was bang on target.
[EDITED: IRRELEVANT ATTACK]
Abhi,
Do you think Deepti who is scared and editorially challenged will let your Part 1 be published?

#80
truthteller
May 19, 2007
07:18 PM

well I think aishwarya is too proud to be a lady, this is why we often catch her making an ass of herself often. She is too retarded and really she has been marketed as the prettiest face in the world but im sorry i myself have seen too many beauties far more classy and sexy than her. she needs to get an education or get pregnant and start playing a final roles as big b bahu

#81
Die Hard
May 20, 2007
01:57 AM

It is amazing how some of the DesiCritics have come to the conclusion that people who are sympathising with Aishwarya are all men!

#82
K S
May 20, 2007
02:20 PM

I have observed over the several years that feminists in India do not like Ash. Because, she is beautiful , rich, successful and yet traditional. They get confused between "liberated" and traditional. I think a woman can be traditional and yet be independent. Feminism is not protesting against men but it fighting for the woman to choose whatever choice they want. Ash chose to be traditional. So, why can't you "feminist" accept that and leave her alone.

#83
DesiGirl
May 20, 2007
02:49 PM

Wow! The trolls are slowly taking over eh? Not one post is allowed go on a non-violent route. tsk tsk!

Dee:
Are we your side kicks now? Shall we start kicking then?!

#84
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 20, 2007
02:58 PM

DG, trolls only think they are winning, they come and they go. Don't pay them any heed.

#85
Surbhi
May 20, 2007
07:52 PM

Aishwarya can never do anything right in the eyes of some people. They eagerly follow every move she makes waiting for her to stumble so that they can wrinkle their noses and take potshots at her lol

So let's see...apparently wanting to keep one's personal life out of the public eye is bad, while boasting of your antics with married men (a la Sushmita Sen) is 'classy' and shows confidence - hmm ok...

Aish is so beautiful that she must be fake/botoxed, but Sushmita's boob job is cool - right...

Aish showing respect to her elders is doormat behaviour while Rani Mukherjee can kiss ass like there's no tomorrow and hump Bachchan Sr's arm at award functions and she's oh-so-cute!

And 3 boyfriends in 8 years - what a whore! :p

#86
Surbhi
May 20, 2007
07:56 PM

You so-called feminists are the real hypocrites around here. Go burn some bras if it makes you feel better :)

#87
Kishore
URL
May 21, 2007
12:14 AM

K S,
>> I have observed over the several years that feminists in India do not like Ash. Because, she is beautiful , rich, successful and yet traditional.

Traditional? What makes you think?

>> They get confused between "liberated" and traditional.

Liberated? Thanks. I didn't know she had attained Nirvana at such an early age.

#88
Anadiya
May 21, 2007
12:19 AM

Surabhi, we don't burn bras anymore. Feminists wear wired bras- they are very comfortable - maybe you traditional women should give them a try instead of wearing those restrictive padded old timer bras that lack style and comfort.

#89
Sanjay Garg
URL
May 21, 2007
06:58 AM

I think Kishore hits the nail on the head with his comment #87. While there are many versions of feminism, there is one - let's call it the liberal western - which has anti-religious, anti-tradition (and I can further qualify that but now is not the occasion) origins.

Since this type of feminism is premised on the belief system "tradition = unhappy lives", it does indeed feel threatened by women who are traditional or religious and also claim to be leading happy lives. When you throw in rich, famous, beautiful a la Aishwarya, then you have the equivalent of waving a red flag in front of an already enraged bull.

#90
Surbhi
May 21, 2007
12:07 PM

Ok then, so go and burn those 'restrictive padded old timer bras that lack style and comfort'...anything to make yourself feel better and alleviate that negativity/holier-than-thou attitude that you, Ms Deepti and Ms Aditi seem to be so proud of.

I'm sorry but only a despo and/or fool would find Rai's honeymoon statement offensive. It's bad enough that 'journalists' like Rajeev Masand come to Aish with such stupid questions in the first place. To the OP: you want to express your frustration about the state of women's rights in India - perfect! Do it, I applaud you. But you're (conveniently) reading way too much in her statement. I'm sure you know that too, but anyway I guess bashing her is the easiest way you can feel better about yourself. I mean how dare she not be perfect?! She surely deserves to be crucified [/sarcasm]

By the way Rani once said that her idol is Hitler. I never heard anyone complain about that. Rimi Sen praised one of her directors by saying that he can even make a black African look pretty. Where's all that outrage and self-righteousness now? Oh how could I forget...it's Aish's name that sells

Happy barking!

#91
Sanam
May 21, 2007
12:12 PM

Surbhi,

Can you try communicating without flying off the handle, please? You'll be far more effective

#92
Amrita
URL
May 21, 2007
12:46 PM

why do people always think that because they havent read it, thus the debate doesn't exist? Of course, Rani's preference for Hitler was discussed - there was a big old thread on Bollywhat about it.

Also, Die Hard, if you're talking about me, please say so. And also, unless you're Abhi or AB Fan I don;t believe I was talking about you this time either.

#93
anon
May 21, 2007
01:17 PM

[EDITED - IRRELEVANT]

#94
As
May 21, 2007
03:03 PM

#83

Start kicking huh? Yes comon,I am ready to start kicking myself.

#95
Aditi Nadkarni
URL
May 21, 2007
03:03 PM

I don't even know why and how this even is a war between feminism and tradition. While one is a concept (thoroughly misrepresented by bra-burning and other such cliches!) and the other is simply a way of life or a choice. Women can choose to live their life traditionally or in a culturally appropriate way without being pliant or submissive. They are still feminists because they made their own, well-informed choice!

To me the problem is this:

1. How can a female superstar who sheds her clothes for the camera and shakes her rump to the beats of Hindi film music after claiming in a beauty pageant contest that she was going to lead her life by Mother Teresa's standards, be a "normal woman". How can she represent an every day woman? You guys here defend her honor. Not that it is unadvisable or morally unjustified or anything but I am very doubtful any of you guys would feel comfortable enough marrying a woman who earns more than you, kisses guys on screen, has heaved her bososm for the camera and has had 3 lovers. Something worth a thought.

2. To me this article is simply NOT about just AR. Sometimes in order to highlight a certain social issue, the example of a media personality or their statement is used. All newspapers do it the only difference is, there the editor will decide if your wrath towards the article can be published or not. Here the editor is kind enough to grant freedom of speech as much to his commentators as to his authors.

3. Has anybody noticed that when asked a question, Ms.Rai never answers in a straightforward manner. It is always phrased as "Oh, for anybody is it a good time..." or "Anybody would be happy...". I have certain acquainatnces who do that and frankly it annoys the crap outta me because it suggests ambiguity of expression. Why can't people just say: "Yup, I'm very happy and we are having a good time..." Where is the room for "normalcy" in this question? So lets say a woman has a very unhappy honeymoon coz it is the first few days of getting to know her husband and the whole physical experience is unsettling, does it make her "abnormal"? I don't understand. It is a very political way of answering and the media has for a very long time criticized Ms.Rai for it.

4. AR has millions of fans and an equal number of people who are bothered by her cold and sometimes very cunning use of media propoganda. So how does Deepti's article really justify personal attacks? In fact why do any of the authors really deserve such a basic lack of decency? It is unfair and crass and the only reason some of you do it is coz you can get away with it.

5. Some of you seem to suggest that only women are agreeing to this post...can you think of why? Have men stopped to think if they ever have or ever will feel their hymen rip? If not, how does this article even concern you? You cannot possibly relate to any of it and hence your comments are just superficial.

6. This article is not about tradition and feminism. It is about a women's issue that has for long been avoided: The honeymoon and the suhaagraat. Even as we move into the 21st century, we have a coy bride sitting under a ghunghat handing a glass of milk to her husband who all he can think of is sex. If you aren't bothered by this gross regression of thinking by the largest and most influential film industry in the world, you are in denial. Where are your female protagonists? Where are their stories? Who plays them: Aishwarya Rai? Nope, she is busy being Suneheri in Dhoom 2 where her shorts are shorter than a man's briefs. The one time she broaches the topic of her alleged "domestic abuse" by ex Salman Khan is at the time of a film release. And here we have men and women alike protecting her honor and insulting that of a female author. It is laughable and despicable.

#96
Deepti Lamba
URL
May 21, 2007
03:17 PM

Amrita, I have better things to do than to try reason with people who have already made up their minds about me and my 'feminist agendas'.

And I do not consider these people worthy of conversation when they come bellowing and spitting fire. Starting from Abhi to AB to this Surabhi they have all indulged in name calling, a crime they accuse me and Aditi of.

Whatever be the reasoning behind their ferocity is of little consequence to me as it does not come from a sane place.

No use barking back, got more fruitful things to do.










#97
K S
May 21, 2007
04:14 PM

Aditi
well written response. Here are my thoughts

1) There was no need for the author to call Ash promiscuous and all other names. We really do not know the truth here. Otherwise, the author would have gotten respect but not as much publicity!

2) I agree the Honeymoon and what follows in an arranged marriage could be a nightmare for a young bride. It needs to be discussed

#98
girish
May 21, 2007
04:15 PM

what a shyte article. next if she expresses how much she enjoyed eating at some restaurant you'll be bashing her for enjoying her food while millions are starving. typical crab mentality

#99
S
May 21, 2007
04:26 PM

Funny to see someone make dirty remarks about a person's character and then cry about someone calling *them* names

#100
Anadiya
May 21, 2007
05:23 PM

I think people are deliberating missing the term 'promiscuous monogamy' in the sentence and simply concentrating on the promiscious part to justify their arguments.

Promiscuous monogamy is a creative way of indicating that a person had more than one physical relationship in a lifetime but was faithful to the partner at the time of the relationship.

Aish had been in 3 relationships. She had virtually been living in with Salman Khan which means she wasn't a virgin. Why is the reference to her liberal sexual behavior pre marriage so offensive to her fans when its based on truth?

She wasnt a virgin when she married Abhishek, no matter how much you people try to deny the fact it is true and in India the concept of virginity is highly prized and lack of it stigamtizes the women showing that Aish is hardly a reflection of 'normal' Indian women.

#101
K S
May 21, 2007
06:46 PM

Andiya
chill. She did not live with Salman. Who told you that? Even if she did, how do you know they had sex? Were you there? She did not live Vivek Oberoi. How do you know she had sex with him.

Last, why is the author hell bent on saying she was not a virgin at the time of wedding?

#102
Die Hard
May 22, 2007
03:04 AM

Amrita # 92,

My comment was an observation. And I believe it's a legitimate one looking at all these posts. I do not flatter my self thinking that you were talking about me. Didn't I say I will wait until I'm spoken to?

Adithi #95 & Anadiya #100,

No one here agrees with Aishwarya's comment that she is a 'normal girl'. Who is 'normal' really? Are you guys normal Desi girls?

Does it really matter whether or not she had slept with men and that she wasn't a virgin when she got married? Isn't it kinda personal? And how on earth is her experience or lack of it or what ever is relevant? I really couldn't careless if she has slept with three or three hundred men. I mean I was forced to learn that someone here (Can't remember who. But hope it was not Amrita) lost her virginity on her wedding night!

What's with the hypercritical, virginal-than-thou and puritanical attitude! Please loose it. It makes wanna throw up. Is this the real feminism that you are talking about Adithi? [Edited:Personal Attack]

The issue raised in DL's piece is that Aishwarya being a not-so-normal-girl has no right to make a statement to that effect. I think most of us here agree with that. What 'normal' people cannot agree is the distasteful way in which a woman has written about another woman. I think DL's attempt to hide behind sarcasm and humour later on shows that she is not entirely convinced of her own article.

#103
Anadiya
May 22, 2007
03:49 AM

Die Hard, you need to scroll through the comment section to see how far your crowd can fall and continue to slide down.

The only people agreeing here with your argument are those who were first in arms that the author was maligning a traditional girl and now act offended when it comes to light that she was anything but traditional and you take the liberal route.

Your flip flopping impotent irrational arguments are offensive especially to commentators like Aditi and the author who have not even once called you lot any derogatory words. You owe them apologies but thats the last thing they expect from people like you and it speaks volume about their integrity and the lack of it from your front.

If there is any duplicity here it is on Aish's front but you would rather close your eyes to her past and accept her born again image for media consumption. You might be that gullible but the rest of us can smell a rat when we see one.

You don't like reading stuff on female sexuality then don't. No one held you down and made you read it and are your sensibilities so tender that the mere mention of sex offends you?

Sorry, but nowhere on the board have I read that people cannot discuss sexuality.


K.S BTW you are right all Salman Khan and Aish did was sing and dance around the trees and babies fall from trees. I stand corrected.


#104
Amrita
URL
May 22, 2007
03:53 AM

DH - It's a "legitimate observation" if it's based on something concrete: who exactly are these "Desicritics" who think all of AR's fans are male?

As for the rest, I believe Deepti has already answered those issues, but it's up to her to repeat it if she wants to.

#105
S
May 22, 2007
05:38 AM

Who says she lived with Salman? When did she claim to be a virgin? How often does she actually talk about her personal life at all that she would make a statement on things like that? If she's not a virgin what's your problem with that? Why do you look down on traditional women and then look down on her for not being as traditional as you thought? Is it the fact that she doesn't keep updating you on the status of her personal beliefs and personal life that bothers you?

If you have the right/means to express yourself, what's your problem if she does too? Here's some news for you: she said it's probably the most enjoyable time for *a* normal girl, not necessarily a normal *Indian* girl. Can I take the liberty to say that at least an equal number of women (i.e. not only Indian women) *do* enjoy their honeymoon? I hope that's ok with you.

#106
Die Hard
May 22, 2007
06:20 AM

Anadiya, are you implying that I used derogatory remarks against Adithi. I asked her a fair question. I say fair because, in this blog she has written not only one but a couple of articles on feminism referring to her parents and how their ideas and ideals affected her in her formative years. I enjoyed reading them. I asked her whether her post in #95 is based on what they taught her on the subject of feminism. I concede it was sarcastic remark may be bordering on a sneer even. But was it really derogatory? If that question offends her I regret that because my post at #102 defeats its purpose.

You have assumed that I am a fan. The fact is I do not watch Hindi movies. (I don't understand the language) What I'm trying to say is there are no personal reasons for me to defend her.


Anadiya, mere mention of sex certainly does not offend me. Indeed it interests me. It is the discussion in this forum on 'other people's sex' that irks me. How many before marriage? It really is absurd!


Since when discussing sexuality involves numbers? If I say I have slept with a dozen, does that mean I'm discussing sexuality? Please don't insult the sensibilities and intelligence of the people who are in this forum. If I was promiscuous before can't I be monogamous now? Every time I do something now, do I have to apologise for my past behaviour and explain the change?

You are so off the mark. We are not discussing Aishwarya's duplicity and how she is using the media to her advantage here. The discussion is on an actually serious women's issue. What is pertinent is that whilst attempting to address it the author and a few are slinging mud at a bystander because she happens to think she is 'normal'.


My arguments may seem irrational (to you) but I certainly do not wish to offend any one. Oh and I do not belong to any 'lot'.

#107
Anadiya
May 22, 2007
07:36 AM

Die Hard, the question was asked by 'amused' and answer was given promptly. If you have a grouse to pick for the sexually explicit questions asked go after the person who came as 'Amused' and when he got the answer expecting DL (you can't even bring yourself to name her) to back down he promptly tried to change his stance

'DL' did not mention her personal life it was thrown at her face time and time again by your side and she did not even respond to them in the same nasty tone to the person who made them and others who questioned her editorial skills etc.

Is she questioning your integrity or mine? No! you all were to busy sharpening your piitch forks for a witch hunt.

Now you are trying to discuss the seriousness of the issue after being caught in a trap of your own making.

The author simply said that Aish because of her past does not represent 'Indian' women. It is the truth. She can get away with it because she is a celebrity but none of us Indian women would be allowed to even breathe by society if such was in our case.

We are expected to marry the person we fall in love not have another relationship as per conservative Indian society. And that is exactly what she meant and that sets Aish apart from us.

Nothing wrong with her life style but by being an actor she can hardly compare herself to the standards that apply to us women who are bound by society.


Deepti has already addressed the matter about the virginity part in comment#49. Did you read it?


I see Saman and you on other post on Gere don't mind speculating about a man's sexuality and that isn't offensive?

Die HArd:Is Karen Johar really NOT gay? He looks and acts so gay? May be he is bi?!


Wait a minute, could it be that questioning a man's sexuality is not as important as a woman's sexual past?


What double standards!!

It is you have lot credence on this site.

#108
Sanam
May 22, 2007
08:17 AM

Anadiya,

Wait a minute. I am not defending Shilpa and not Gere. If you observe carefully, I have not mentioned Gere at all. and I do not care about him. It is the victim of my country. I feel Shilpa was not allowed to voice her opinion and lot of people questioned her intelligence to make her own decisions. I hope I have set the record straight.

#109
Sanam
May 22, 2007
08:20 AM

Correction for #108.

I am defending Shilpa and NOT Richard Gere.

#110
Chusu
May 22, 2007
08:35 AM

"The author simply said that Aish because of her past does not represent 'Indian' women. It is the truth. She can get away with it because she is a celebrity but none of us Indian women would be allowed to even breathe by society if such was in our case.

We are expected to marry the person we fall in love not have another relationship as per conservative Indian society. And that is exactly what she meant and that sets Aish apart from us."

Oh come on, do you live in a village or something? Most city girls brought up in liberal families are not forced to marry their first love or spat upon for having fallen in love more than once. "Not even allowed to breathe" hahaha yeah right. That happens in villages and small towns. Most people here do not fall in that category. Perhaps I should complain that DL does not represent the average village women and is thus talking out of her bum.

#111
Die Hard
May 22, 2007
08:51 AM

Anadiya, Anadiya, I can bring myself to say Deepti Lamba. It is easier to go by DL.

I am not allergic to sex. Sexual orientations indeed falls within my definition of sexuality. If it does not, please do enlighten me.
I get to see glimpses of Koffee with Karen on NDTV. I thought he speaks well and the guy is actually interesting and funny. So naturally I was curious and interested to learn more about him. I didn't ask with whom he is sleeping and how many girl/boy friends he has had. What I am trying so hard to say is that there are boundaries that even the most liberated should not breach.

Questioning a person's (man/woman) sexuality is okay. What is not okay is passing judgments on his/her sexuality/sexual past.

How can you question my credibility based on the above post? That Karen-Gere piece suggests that Karen's gay! And since when being gay is bad? Do you mean to say if Karen is not gay, that he will be offended by my question?

Come, come Anadiya where do you live? In which century?


#112
Die Hard
May 22, 2007
08:58 AM

Anadiya, Anadiya, I can bring myself to say Deepti Lamba. It is easier to go by DL.

I am not allergic to sex. Sexual orientations indeed fall within my definition of sexuality. If it does not, please do enlighten me.
I get to see glimpses of Koffee with Karen on NDTV. I thought he speaks well and the guy is actually interesting and funny. So naturally I was curious and interested to learn more about him. I didn't ask with whom he is sleeping and how many girl/boy friends he has had. What I am trying so hard to say is that there are boundaries that even the most liberated should not breach.

Questioning a person's (man/woman) sexuality is okay. What is not okay is passing judgments on his/her sexuality/sexual past.

How can you question my credibility based on the above post? That Karen-Gere piece suggests that Karen's gay! And since when being gay is bad? Do you mean to say if Karen is not gay, that he will be offended by my question?

Come, come Anadiya where do you live? Is it Victorian England?


#113
Anadiya
May 22, 2007
10:13 AM

Die Hard, Speculating about someone's sexuality when they are not there to correct the perception is in similar vein to your outrage over Aish's past.


Questioning a person's (man/woman) sexuality is okay. What is not okay is passing judgments on his/her sexuality/sexual past.

So I take it that you won't mind people sniggering about your pink shirt and whimsical ways by the water cooler? Something tells me you will be first to knock their teeth off for spreading wild 'speculations' around the office so lets not make bones about your blatant hypocracy.

And no I don't live in Victorian England but very much in India where patriarchal society continues to prevail and have seen enough women being maligned by men as is being done on this board itself.

#114
Aditi Nadkarni
May 22, 2007
11:33 AM

KS

Since you addressed your comment #97 to me, here goes:

Most commentators on this site have begun to mistake "Media criticism" for "personal attacks". Celebrities by virtue of their very public status receive with good measure both, adulation and criticism from journalists/ media. These are not personal attacks. The reason some people can even respond to this criticism is because this website is liberal in its approach and as I stated earlier allows freedom of speech to commentators as much as to authors. Even the TOI publishes articles vehemently criticizing or mocking a public figure. The difference? You cannot post a comment and insult the journalist who wrote the pungent article. Here you can. Thats all. There is nothing "personal" about what we write regarding AR. It is called "media criticism" and is supposed to be taken in that light. When we are insulted on this site we reply and face the angry mob. AR doesn't need to. Hence the comparison is unfair and honestly a bit ridiculous as I said in my comment #95

#115
K S
May 22, 2007
11:46 AM

Aditi
I am glad you allow "freedom of speech". That is good.

It is alright to criticize Ash as long as it based on some facts.

Enough said

#116
Die Hard
May 23, 2007
02:02 AM

Anadiya,

I do wear pink outfits all the time. I certainly do get a lot of comments about them and I don't mind them.I certainly don't mind someone asking me whether I am gay! However, I'd mind if someone is sniggering by the water cooler about my pink jacket when he/she can ask me whether I'm gay?

You didn't answer my question. Do you think Karen Johar would be offended if someone ask him if he is gay?

Oh, I am hypocritical. Right! Why would speculation about sexuality offends people. Why?should I be ashamed if I'm gay? And if I'm not should I be ashamed of the fact that someone thinks I'm gay? If I'm gay, I'm gay.

I think you are showing signs of phobia!

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