Marriages: What Makes Them Tick
I don't like to discuss my marriage - not because it's in doldrums but because I am so insanely happy that some of my friends wink and put their fingers in their mouth and then grin at me. I am one of those who have been silenced by the suffering masses shackled in loveless relationships. It isn't easy to sit quietly and not wonder out loud why they were not able sit down and communicate with each other, why they let the daily grind quietly rip them apart or create so much ill will that they now don't think twice about bitching to the world about the wrongs done to them.
And, then, there are those who quietly lick their wounds in silence and to those my heart goes out. They are the ones who put up happy faces knowing that misery loves company but the company would rather attend a swinging party. It's with them that I prefer to be, with them I like to share retrospective cups of tea as we go down the painful by lanes while discussing the weather, movies or children. There are those painful silences that are abruptly put aside with mock gay smiles or the questions answered about what makes marriages work hopeful that the next round would treat them better.
Obviously, I don't have all the answers as to why my marriage works while theirs failed; all I can offer is that I got lucky by some freak chance and the embittered and the saddened alike laugh when I tell them that. To say that one's met their Prince Charming is obviously gag worthy but it holds true for me. I did not want a tall handsome dashing guy but one that liked books, animals, people and was even tempered since I'm slightly high strung and the day I met my husband it felt right and it still does after six years of marriage.
Too mushy? You bet, which is why I generally don't like to talk about the man I am married to. When my friends bitch about their spouses, I remember the times he stood by me, when he trudged in a blizzard to get my medications or stayed by my side during the birth of my kids.
We tend to impress people with our oneness - completing each other's sentences while talking to people, listening to the same kind of music, watching movies late into the night, discussing everything under the sun and playing our favorite game - Monopoly - with our friends which I tend to lose every time.
Like all couples we tend to fight once in a while, snap at each other, become some what rude towards each other, nip at each other's heels over small things but then forget about it just as easily. We tend to joke that we take each other for granted like siblings do and not like old married couples since there are no scores to be settled.
Our marriage has become like the soft old sock that one can't do without during those cold wintry nights. Or like a child and the worn out ear bitten teddy bear. It has a sense of permanence to it, a sense of security, warmth and most importantly a sense of being wanted. Which, now that I think of it, seems to be the key factor in building a lasting happy marriage.
Marriages: What Makes Them Tick
- » Published on January 03, 2007
- » Type: Opinion
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