SATIRE

Satire: Indian Cricket Team Looking For Alternative Professions

November 24, 2006
Sakshi Juneja







Tendulkar clean bowled by Nel

We lost another match. So!

We lost another match miserably! So what's the big deal yaar.

The South African team smacked the Men in Blue way below the belt and that too in all departments - batting, bowling and fielding.

The way we are proceeding (or should I say declining) towards the World Cup, it would be best that the Indian team withdraws from the tournament. And thereby not cause any sort of embarrassment to themselves or us.

Instead, I feel its time that some of the known players from this losing team start looking for alternative professions and a not-so-controversial future.

For example:

Sachin Tendulkar - Can give medical seminars on Tennis Elbow and how to emerge from such a dreaded physical disability. Plus he could also start a consulting firm dealing with matters regarding importing of expensive cars and how to avoid paying taxes on them.

Rahul Dravid - The Indian captain is most suited for the Finance and Banking field thanks to his dependable personality. Since he is already a brand ambassador for Baroda Bank, maybe they will offer him a full-time job.

Mahindra Singh Dhoni - No guessing here, this fella is most likely to succeed in the Hairstyle modeling industry. Maybe a profession as a permanent barber would work well for him. He could probably join Harbhajan Singh's hair salon in Punjab.

Virendra Sehwag - I say, he should offer his balding head to companies experimenting with 'hair extensions', 'hair weaving' and the like. Maybe not too much money but a tleast there are chances of him getting some hair back.

Harbhajan Singh - Well Bhaji baby already has his future set with his up-coming chain of hair-salons. But he could also try his hand at Punjabi movies, since he has the expertise of ad modeling.

SK Raina - This guy needs to go back to school and complete his education.

Mohammad Kaif - He should consider a profession as a masseur. With his pair of firm and safe hands, this is an ideal field for him.

Zaheer Khan - He would do well by joining a firm which caters to people with Long Term Disability. With his history of cricket-related injuries, he could become their highest-selling agent.

Ajit Agarkar - Now this dude can earn millions with his cricket formula. He could teach up-coming players how to stay within the national team even when not deserving a place.

This is what I could come up with. Do you have any suggestions to help these guys or the players I have missed out from the list?

Saakshi O. Juneja is an active blogger, feminist and overboard dog lover. Currently working as a Business Development Manager for a sportswear manufacturing company in Mumbai, India. Did graduation in Marketing & Advertising from Sydney, Australia. As far as blogging is concerned...is a complete Blog-a-holic.
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Satire: Indian Cricket Team Looking For Alternative Professions

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Author: Sakshi Juneja

 

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#1
Chanakya
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November 25, 2006
12:04 AM

Funny piece. With one abysmal performance after another the players have let the nation down. The prospect of an alternative profession for some at least should not be lost on the cash stuffed over rated underperforming cricketers.

Sad part is, for the cricketers it is just a job. Not a passion like it is to the rest of the nation. It's the same world over. In Fever Pitch Jimmy Fallon and co are drowning themselves in sorrow at the loss of Red Sox to Yankees in a baseball game. Soon they find the Red Sox players enjoying a nice dinner with no worry whatsoever.

#2
Whatever
November 25, 2006
03:13 AM

This isn't satire. This is thakela humour - been done to death.

#3
Sakshi
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November 25, 2006
03:30 AM

Whatever - So be a sport (pun intended and refer us to suck likes... :)

#4
sami
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November 29, 2006
07:08 AM

The comment about Sehwag's baldness was not in good taste. Humour should be performance related, why comment on a player's physique.

The rest of the piece was enjoyable :)

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July 7, 2007
12:34 AM

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