Where is Home?

Suj - this was a lovely piece. I was a little older than "Big N" when we moved to Delhi but in those days moving from south to north was as good as moving to another country. I had to learn another language, get used to another kind of food, a different environment, and it was a big deal if people around me had heard the name of my state much less my hometown.

I dont know if I identified as strongly as your son with a place even then [I'll have to ask my mom I guess, but he seems pretty exceptional to me] but I do remember the disorientation of moving back and forth - summers in the south, the rest of the year in the north.

This one brought back a number of memories and gave me much to think about. Thanks.

Lovely piece Sujatha! I love the idea of 'home' being something 'more' than a mere house.

I'm always haunted by Steinbeck's beautiful observation: "I have homes everywhere, many of which I have not seen yet. That is perhaps why I am restless. I haven`t seen all my homes". Could Big N be following in his footsteps?

I guess he is one of a growing number of people throughout the world with multiple and fluid identities - perfectly positioned therefore for the 21st century!

Suj:

nice post:)

andrew:

this home heart business is enigmatic and has bedeviled thinkers for ages...usually i find the home we so love is ensconced in our memories only....memories that are usually pleasant and are recalled in times and places that are perhaps different (or not very pleasant)

home is where the heart is

in the end it is the same thing as smile-frown we were discussing yesterday!...depending on the mood the same home we love so one day can turn into a place we avoid returning to the next...

yes, suj i know am digressing;)

I lived in foreign lands for nine years. I am back home- India. I read a quotation long ago. I can't remember exactly how it goes. But it is somewhat close to:
"It may be raining spears and daggers at home, and pearls and diamonds in the foreign land, its still better to be home".

Temp - I've always thought home was more than just a place... it always meant people to me. And since people change, I guess it means people at a certain stage of their lives. If Big N were to go back to that same house in the states with the same neighbors and everything, wouldn't he find it different now that he has to go to school, etc?

Sujai, above, seems happy to be back in India after living away for nine years... but how about those folks who stay away for decades, talking constantly of building a house "back home" and then discover that all those years in vilayet have left them unable to cope with the pressures of living "at home"?

I dont know for sure but I would guess that Suj and her family are part of the new crowd of lucky professionals who live in a time where they can live at "home" without compromising on their career.

Makes you appreciate the times we live in.

ams:

it is!

(more than one place)


which is why i wrote home is where the heart is

and

heart being fickle can change locale and still be home

there;)

Thanks all for your thoughtful comments.

I don't know if it's because I'm going through this right now, but I'm noticing that a lot of people are thinking about these issues. Just a couple of days ago I saw a quote attributed to G.B. Shaw - "I hate feeling at home when I'm in a foreign land." Of course, he might have been talking about short stays abroad, quite unlike the extended stays that people nowadays have to go through. It might be quite a discomfiting feeling not to feel at home for more than three weeks at a time!

Amrita, you're right. Big N's memories of his home in the US may not match up to actually going and living there again and by then I think the joy of living there again might be replaced by the agony of missing all things Bangalore! I think people constantly on the move get used to the feeling - both my husband and I moved every two years when we were kids due to our fathers' jobs (but all our movement was within India and mostly within a state), so at least the cultural environment was the same.

t, nice one on the home/heart concept. :)

Suj,

Lovely piece, as always :)
My son is four and half and he is sooo English, it is unbelievable. He wears England t-shirts, has sausages and mash for dinner and speaks with a pukka Essex accent. Even when he plays video games, he has to be England. Now he wants to buy a poppy, to pin to his lapel. As the poppy is for Nov 11, Remembrance Day, WWI, I am sort of, anti and am confused about my loyalties.
Kids!

omg, is that what that thing is? thanks desigirl, i've been watching everyone on the bbc walk around with a poppy on their lapel and i kept wondering what the hell for! [in fond rememberance of the opium war? no? oh well]

btw, if i may ask, why're you anti WW1?

India isn't a home -- India is a hotel.

Just ask people living there who protest over the bombing of Iraq, Lebanon, Afghanistan, but won't say a damn thing when the Indian soil they're living on is bombed.

Now that's what I call a hotel. It certainly isn't a place to call home, if you don't treat it that way.

what about brampton?

;)

Amrita,
Opium War?! Good one!!
hmmm, lemme say, not eggjactly anti-WW1 but am anti sporting fond remembrances of the Brits who died in the World Wars and everything else in between. Too close to home, as in, they were busy murdering our forefathers whilst happily sponging off us, weren't they?

Desigirl - i see what you mean. but think of it this way, instead of remembering the brits, you can remember the indian soldiers who died in those wars and never quite got their due. of course, that line of thought comes with other arguments but it does solve the brit angle :)

Amrita,
There's a whole new post in that train of thot, methnks!

DG, big problem on had with the cricket matches then, eh? You and your husband rooting for India (do you?) and your son rooting for England. :) We may be confused, but our kids are not. They are very sure of who they are.

t, what is Brampton? I saw Andrew mention it on his Islam post as well.

Sanjay, thanks for your comment.

Suj,
100% India supporters and cricket matches tend to become shouting matches. We wanted to go to Lord's last time India visited England but we didn't want a family battle there so ditched that idea!!
But you hit the nail right on the head - he is in no way confused about who or what he is - true-blue brit! Loads of chuckles my parents got thanks to his comments when they visited us in the summer!!