Simple Marital Problems Can Lead to Fatal Consequences

Very good and cogent points, Sumanth. You are a good writer.

Society has a tendency to turn a blind eye to problems of the individual spirit until it affects the social fabric itself.

The Taliban's atrocities against women is a very good example of that.

Alleged-a very important word.
Twisting-is an art and few have it.

When I read the link 'jumped to death' , I found a totally different story.

1) It is alleged that (Rahim, who was married to Khutija Khatoon in 1998,) had in 2000 allegedly tried to set her ablaze ablaze ablaze.

2)Is if further alleged that A case of attempt to murder was registered but after a payment of Rs 1 lakh to his wife, she backtracked in the local court and the case was dismissed. Dismissed.

3)Fact Fact : The police, appealed in the HC against the verdict (NOT HER)

4) The court demanded that in order to prove his innocence he needed to get his wife and FIL in court(the court never sent them any notice). He needed to get them. They refused--SO. They had moved on in life. He had to pay on his own for his wrong deeds.

Like a stubborn human being who could not stand to see he was loosing the case and plus to add to his misery his once upon a time imprisoned bird-his wife was happily married.

So he decided to threaten to jump assuming that things would change, but they ceased to happen. So he jumped rather than going to jail.

Doubt: When his wife had already left him 3 years ago, then why did he jump now after 3 years.

Point to be noted : She refused to come to court. So she had moved on in life.

It is the police and the law that was after him coz he tried /atempted to set ablaze his wife.

Note it is very very rare of the Indian Police to follow any matter for more than 5 years if he was not a real criminal. That also after the case was intially dismissed . Still the police probed.

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Now you tell us where & how you derived this theory that " She married another guy and it is alleged that she started making further demands (like a shark having tasted blood once) and the cornered man could not handle the whole situation.

How?

Thanks Aaman.

Vidhya,

Police generally get a percentage of the booty. Lawyers also get a percentage of the booty. So, they keep harassing the man.

I will say this because I have first hand experiece of seeing this happen. And I will say this again and again.

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Now, tell me, have you reacted the same way if a woman has jumped from a building and committed suicide (if her husband has taken Rs.1 lac from her and married another woman and moved on with his life (as you have argued)?
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Vidhya M.S. had used a term "twisting". This term is also being used frequently by feminists abroad to describe men who are pointing out glaring holes in feminist arguments and men who are also stressing their own rights in the battle beleagured homes.
It is surprising that women use the same terminology the world wide, whether it it be cliches like- "liberated, independent, creative, emancipated, empowered,multi-directional and now twisting"
So if men fight for their rights, it is "twisting". But if women have twisted concepts beyond shape and have promoted female chauvinism vigorously by giving distorted logics and facts, then it is "empowerment"!!!
It is time women start maturing up and use their own minds to decide things rather than blindly ape their western counterparts.It is time they wake up to the fact that men too have their point of view and they are entitled to it.

Blind one-sided biased approaches harm women.

Lawyers encourage women to file dowry cases whenever the female goes to him for divorce. They say, once the guy's family is out of jail, she can claim huge alimony(as out of court settlement) for withdrawing the case.

But, this kind of an approach can prove dangerous for the woman if the guy goes to "google" and searches for "murder by a baseball" as happened in UK.

Lawyers look at their business and police looks at bribes. The women being mad to settle scores forget that any weapon in this world can always backfire.

If the guy's parents commit suicide due to false case, then it is sure that the female will go straight to jail.

Sumanth
A question for a question.huh?

Yes I would have reacted the same way. Now I answered your question.(I do not paint everyone with one brush)

If the husband would have allegedly taken 1 lac or so and moved on. Yes my reaction would have been the same. Disputes happen in married lives, we all know that, divorce is bitter and not a joyride.

MOVE ON....

Now your turn...

Now you answer me HOW? Be specific to the case above.

Ajay: What?? western world, freedom, empowerment, aping etc. Confusion... Awwww nevermind. Lets wait to get matured and please let me know where is the certificate issued.

Vidhya,

Who gives a damn about whether one paints everyone with one brush or 10 brushes(or bushes)?

Indians paint everyone with thousands brushes. We are a country full of Hypocrites. We say one thing, do something else and claim to be champions of logic and rational behaviour.

I will not answer any of your questions. Because it is not an issue between you and me. If it is,then its better we settle it outside.

I am not a rational and logical guy like many others who get some pleasure in claiming themselves to be one.

This story is about suicidal people having murderous thoughts and associated dangers.

The case studies (in article) are secondary. So, arguing over whether some female slept with one or ten has no bearing on the central theme of this article.

If you agree/disagree with the central theme of this article, then write about it.

I am pleased that you did not answer the question. Was almost anticipating the ideal retort.

Nevertheless was glad the loops were unearthed from the post.

allegation also were made against Abdul Kalam in the gujarat case. SO it really does not matter on allegation the point is that why did the wife ask for any money. I would never take a single money from a criminal though may forgive the criminal and even drop prosecution. I did that 10 years back against a 21 year old who had stolen from my house.
Only money minded greedy folks accuse and then take money from the persons they accuse

Infy techie kills wife, hangs self

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Bangalore_techie_kills_wife_hangs_self/articleshow/2892122.cms

BANGALORE: The neighbourhood of tony Koramangala woke up to a shocking Sunday when its residents saw cops entering the house of software engineer Amit Budhiraja to find him hanging from the ceiling fan.

"The couple must have had a fight on Saturday night. In a fit of rage, Amit smothered his wife and later hanged himself. A death note left by him read he killed Rinku for having an extramarital affair with a colleague," said police, adding bloodstains were found in the bedroom where their bodies were recovered.

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The suicide note also mentions that Amit feared a false dowry harassment case against him even though he had not taken any dowry.
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It is a nice article, Sumanth. A very logical analysis...especially the section about other parties meddling in people's marital decisions for their own vested interests. It turns the whole decision making process into a vengeful circus. The whole social stigma angle makes the divorce bit dirtier than it should be. People should not feel obligated or as you say coerced into staying in a relationship out of fear or threats. The problem needs to be addressed from ground up. A radical change in social mentality needs to come about before individual outlooks can translate and contribute towards legal reform.

I was waiting for the SIFFERS to blame the murder on the victim- how convenient.

The suicide note is speculative at best.

Such a loss of a life is indeed very saddening.

I neither have data or statistics to prove my statement, but I think some people, nowadays, (men and women) are becoming more cruel, mean, sadistic, selfish and insensitive.
It really has nothing to do with feminism or machoism; just plain lack of humanity and compassion.

The rising trend of fights, break-ups, disharmony, suicides and murders may be an indicator of what I said. (or is it possible that these problems always existed, just that the media brings out such cases more openly these days, with greater awareness?? I can't really say)

Could the deeper reason for these suicides be rampant consumerism, the 'rat-race', tremendous work-pressure and stress due to the desire to win the rat-race and the philosophy of excessive self-gratification at the cost of others?

I think it's high time we try to instill the values of "BALANCE IN LIFE" and "FOLLOWING THE MIDDLE PATH" in children, and try to instill the virtues of tolerance, compassion and selflessness in them.

Love and peace to all,
Ayan

Every year more than 56000 married men end thier life , but not a single wife had been questioned, where as for each and every death of women the same converted to dowry death , in which more than 65% people proved that the case was false.
Why this double standara?
Further :One hand LAW Commission of India recommended making the Adultrity a Crime for Both the Partner Men and women under IPC497, as presently there is no punishment for a adulterous women, but our National Commission of Women objected the same and proposed to make it civil law and government are silent on that area.

And for Indian men, forget about you do adultrity or not it does not matter , irrespective the allegation is true or false , not only you , your mother, sister, age old father will be thrown out of your own house under DV act , just one line complain : Just she have to say , "I am anticipate of Domestic Violence" form my partner , let it be a friend , husband or any one and you are out of your own house and land up in Railway Platform.



This is called the present Justice system in India and equal right in India.

For a wife even adultrity also is not a crime (it is a rewarding option and free money earning business for the whole life), but for a man even an allegation of "Name-calling" is crime and not only the man, his mother/sister/age-old father also can be put behind the bar under 498A or DV act.

I have been blamed under DV act. When author wrote this article, I was unmarried. I had different views. Today I know the truth.

The notion that it won't affect you is wrong. Crime can affect all of us. These laws and marital problems can affect everyone under the Indian sun.

It is about blackmail. In a relationship, both sides give their best. When such expectation are not met, the most common ways are
a) To resort to crime against husband/wife.
b) File a false case on husband.


It would be wise if blackmail is not resorted to. Look at Shivangi Bhatnagar case, it was also an alleged blackmail.

Crime by husband must be condoned in the strictest sense. However he must not cow down to blackmail. If you are living in blackmail relationship, fight it. Don't succumb to blackmail.

Divorce is the best option. I know divorce is not given by these blackmailer wives who will extort every ounce of money/blood from you. You will face more than dozen cases on you on harassment.

vidhya,

Don't you think you are being hypocritical to the core? Can you show me one post where you have expressed your disgust at a woman who wants money from a man who has moved on with his life?

How do you know that police leave along a guy after 5 years? I have personally seen police and judges harass an innocent man for 15 years. So please do not pretend to be knowing about things you have no idea. Or may be you are one of those people who files false cases for a few rupees and hece associate your self with them.

What ever is the case, it is terrible that a man cannot do anything about abuse on him. This poor person knows that his wife is in adultery, phone records and SMS bear ample testimony to the fact. His wife is plotting to file false dowry case on him to get money to live with her boy friend. How would you feel if your husband is given a law where by he can get 10 lakhs from you by criminal extortion and then use that money to live with another woman?

Can you answer this question?

Thanks,
Rajesh

shame on the von siffer brigade

a young couple is dead
their families are grieving
and you are using it to push for your own agenda

and lying about it

from the bottom of # 11:

The suicide note also mentions that Amit feared a false dowry harassment case against him even though he had not taken any dowry.

I am a liar. I am a liar.

Go and do what you want to do.

If it makes you feel happy, then I accept.

I have mastered the feminine and I know what tolerance is.

I being a liar, does not prove that feminists are not liars or hypocrites.

I am a liar, I am having double standards and I am a treacherous person. - Sumanth October 14, 2007 12:58 PM

Shame on me? why?
Why do you not accpet the blatant truth.

If Rinku was true to her husband, would this have occured?

Amit's suicide note, running into six pages, claimed that he took the extreme step only after he was firmly convinced of his wife's promiscuity.

Amit hailed from Delhi, while Rinku was from Mumbai. The bodies were shifted to St John's Hospital. The post-mortem is likely to be delayed as the couple's parents are expected to land in the City late on Sunday night.

http://www.deccanherald.com/Content/Mar242008/scroll2008032459179.asp?section=updatenews

I can see how fateful can be the consequences, of contesting a wife.

I am ashamed that the State is the cause of murder here. Should not "State" be prosecuted for abetting suicide in this case?

And then as I travel up looking for comments I find some people claiming...

It really has nothing to do with feminism

Really??
Feminism as a spoilt brat is earning its ire every where in world. It is in no way is unique to India. It is the most ill planned and unscientific movement of its stature, in the modern scientific world...And that is irony for you.

Divorce is the best option.

I think you have no idea how costly a divorce can be to males...in west for e.g.

Divorce without the cost : lol

http://www.newindpress.com/NewsItems.asp?ID=IE120080323233858&Page=1&Title=Bangalore&Topic=0

Excerpts from the suicide note :

"From the first day after marriage, both of us were not compatible and we had regular fights. Recently I had picked up a fight with her (Rinku) and she had apologised to me. Despite our differences, I did not intend to divorce her as I love her and I had an intuition that if I applied for a divorce, she would accuse my family of dowry harassment. I did not give this a chance.''

"We shared no decent physical or emotional relationship. Until recently we were sharing one bedroom. Few months ago she went to Muscat to her parents and after she returned, she preferred to stay in another bedroom. She was always on her mobile phone, either SMSing or talking to someone, behind closed doors. From her indifferent behaviour, I suspected that she had an affair with someone. On March 20, I placed my laptop with a camera switched on in her bedroom.

On March 21, I saw that she was talking to one of her colleagues and she had expressed her love for him. From her gestures I understood that she had an affair with him''.

"Rinku told me that if she ever found out that I had an extra-marital affair, she would murder me and then commit suicide. I have only followed her idea''.

"I bequeath all my property, including money and other valuables to my mother''.

Amit's Suicide Note excerpts (as published in TOI, Bangalore):

"I loved her a lot even though she had an affair with her colleague. I overheard their conversations when she used to lock the door and talk in low voice. There were also discussions on divorce. I kept quiet fearing that she might file a harassment case against me, though I had not accepted anything from her. So I killed her.''

Does it not re-inforce what author said. He said it many times. We have a problem at our hand, the law is archaic and one sided and needs change for a population of 100+ crore.

1) We need a different way to tackle marital issues. Every marriage issue is linked to dowry. Law needs reform.

2) Gender votebank is wrong

3) Most Indian husbands are true to their spouses. This must be respected and they will do everything in their position to save marriage.

The message is do not corner .

But the times of India Bangalore in its front page mentions.

"I loved her a lot even though she had an affair with her collegue. I overheard their conversation when she used to lock the door and talk in low voice. There were also discussions on divorce . I kept quite fearing that she might file ( dowry & 498a) harassment cse against me though I had not accepted anything from her . So I killed her "

Looking at this note . The implication cannot be made that he killed her for Adulterity , he did not kill her becuase she wanted divorce . He killed her becuase she threatened to destroy his life by filing the Dowry and 498a cases.

While amit is definitely wrong to have killed her.

It was not suspected adultery which killed her , Amit clearly says that if he had asked for Adultery she would have filed false dowry case and by god such happens every day .

contrary the analysis of the News papers Amit suicide clearly mentions that if he had filed for Divorce she would have troubled him nd his parents in Dowry cases.
This is extremely troubling to me. If the right message is not taken .
Because many husbands ask after fighting for 7 years are asking was it better to do what Amit do rather then waste about
"Walk a mile in my shoes and feel my pain" . Do people really think that divorce in India is granted to men .
Look at Kohli vs Kohli case it took 18 years .
He was 33 when he started and 51 when he came out
He faced all the problems that Amit knew he would.
I think if our legal system were doing a good job and did not take more then 1 year and there was fairness and thought also expressed towards husbands then at least this case would not have occurred.
Because if you express hatred towards those who have bad relations with wife then they will react back.
People think that society is paying a small price for misuse of dowry laws. This tells you it is not

temporal
you have been provided the source of the statement from Amits Suicide note . Times of India Bangalore Edition

and tell me what do you think of Movie "Provoked" because to us the provocation to Amit was probably more bigger then Karanjit walia because karanjit could divorce without problem unlike India.

Temporal, just shut up.

We produced the suicide note as it was published in prominent newspapers.

SIF has only a single point agenda.

"To Save Families from Misery and deaths."

The society, the Judiciary and the Government failed to do so.

We give an escape route for thousands of people who would have gone Amit Bhudhiraj's way.

We wish Amit Bhudhiraj had come to me. His house is just 500 meters from mine.

We stop people from taking extreme steps. We listen to the distressed. We give the men an outlet. Unfortunately, we could not reach to Amit Budhiraj.

People are dying out here in India and the pseudo-libertarians push their political correctness.

The suicide note produced in TOI front page says clearly that Amit murdered her as he knew that she will file a harassment case even though he never accepted anything and the extra-marital affair was unbearable for him.

Please note, he can not walk way as "contested divorce" is not an option in India as courts are completely hell bent in harassing the husband. If he had walked out of the house, he would have been accused in a biased dysfunctional judiciary that he is a wife-deserter.

In short, the wolfs hunted Amit Budhiraj and his mind for months. Finally, he decided to put an end to the misery and also the cause of the misery.

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Why UGC is not funding men's studies?

Because men are disposable for society.
Today, a disposable man too an indispensable women along with him.

When harassed men commit suicide, it does not make to front page of newspaper. But, when a harassed man took a woman along with, it became big news.

The Indian State must be broken into 20 pieces immediately.

It is a badly governed insensitive terrorist state.

For one Sarabhjeet in Pakistani jail, the media makes such a big noise, where as all completely ignore, what can be done for thousands of innocent lives among us.

The judiciary and "legal terrorism" unleashed on the people has resulted in a situation that people live in constant fear of dowry harassment lawsuits.

Even now, "Family problems and Family breaking" is not a serious issue for society. How many more lives have to be sacrificed?

Amit Budhiraj clearly saw what was coming. he knew he can no longer tolerate harassment and he did not want a false harassment case against him and his parents.

I often hear men say," I should have murdered her in stead of getting my family jailed and running around courts for 8 years."

It is clear that an insensitive judiciary and political establishment is forcing people to take law into their hands.

Aditi,

As you rightly said, I will add a few more points:

1) I know cases where the judges in family courts do endless sessions of counselling or coercion to keep the husband and wife together even though there is literally nothing left in that marriage since many years.

2) SIF members are coerced in courts to take back the wife even after she filed 3 to 7 cases of dowry harassment, cruelty against him and family and got them all jailed. The reason is,"Marriage is to be saved at any cost."

3) In India, no one should question judiciary and the patriarchal judges force the ancient morals on people even when nothing is left in marriage.

4) The counsellors in courts misbehave and force people to live together or force men pay hefty settlements. Sometime back, a man in a high position in a company in US, murdered his wife and coolly went around with her body for a day or two before disposing it off. He was forced to live with his wife by a court and was told that if he does not live with her, then he will lose a house and 25 lacs. He continued to live with her even though she had filed a dowry harassment case against him.

People have no escape route available as sometimes courts give judgement of divorce after 18 years and justify it as right.

Um, away from the mess of "destroyed families, inept judiciary, crumbling Indian society, Cruella De Vil wives, hen-crushed husbands" et al.. has anybody given a thought on the roots of the main problem? i.e. SIMPLE MARITAL PROBLEMS?

How does one avoid, prevent or quickly resolve "simple marital problems" so that such tragedies do not happen?
Pre-marital counselling? Compatibility checks? Total honesty and better communication amongst couples?

Suggestions please.

Any constructive ideas instead of crying and complaining that the sky has fallen on the heads of the Indian families?

(I sometimes see quite a bit of negative thoughts and bitterness amongst the comments in this forum; why can't we be a bit more positive? :-))

Locutus83, there is a Japanese saying - Before marriage keep both eyes open, after marriage shut one eye.

Compromise, communication, mutual respect, trust, giving space go a long way. Some people are meant to be together and some bring the worst out in each other.

In the end all romantic relationships are a gamble- some win and some lose.

@ some lose

Lose is not an option for Indian husbands. If they lose, they lose a lot along with their relationship. They are sent to jails with their mothers and sisters and fathers. You may be astounded to know more than thirs bail applications in Delhi courts are due to these people hearded into jails.

Tell us is this why we gave mutual respect to our spouses so that we are branded murderers. We can't kill a fly yet languish in courts/jails. Where is the option of a "consented divorce". All is money minded materialistic world.

Vardan, yours and countless experiences may be so but there are those whose divorces have been amicable but like all protests and propagandas the proponents naturally have tunneled vision.

Been here long enough for those who comment on such issues to know my stance on the matteer therefore wont comment anymore for its a never ending ride.

Whatever the provocation murder and suicide are poor options.A good circle of friends may have averted the tragedy.Men should not shy away from seeking help.Bangalore has a lot of capable counselling services.My advice to men and women - always seek help.There is no taint attached to this.

Locutus,

(I sometimes see quite a bit of negative thoughts and bitterness amongst the comments in this forum; why can't we be a bit more positive? :-))

What do you mean by positive?

People who have closed minds need a high voltage shock. Educated Indians have lost sensitivity.

Do not trivialise. It is not a simple issue. No marital problem is a simple problem. No. Never.

Few weeks back, Actor Kunal Singh committed suicide. He acted in many Movies including, Dil Hi Dil mey opposite to Sonali Bendre.

Everyone dismissed it as a suicide due to marital dispute. Kunal Singh is gone and we "simply" trivialised it.

In India, Suicide rate has gone up by 4.5% in just one year.

Please note, most Indian bloggers including famous bloggers are useless Jerks, with no originality, no common sense or even individuality. They only repeat what they hear in NDTV or other fucking news channel in their blogs or articles neglecting the core issues.

Thats the reason why it is often necessary to bring in a tough language or tone so that the stuff sinks in. Otherwise, a bunch of urban ill-educated spoiled brats do not allow for any meaningful. In the end, good quality but literally useless prose remains, while people's lives are lost.

When the core issues suddenly crop up, they appear complex. Now, do you want us to dismiss every suicide or murder as trivial by pointing at a "simple marital discord."

Even today, marital problems are not considered as "serious social issue" because of trivialisation.

Every year, 5 lac couples are facing severe marital problems. When you add the extended families, then about 20 lac families are in deep misery.

Now, one has to shout out and ask what the hell is going on? What the hell the Government is doing about it?

We have an useless bunch of controversial characters like Renuka Chowdhury and Indira Jaisingh controlling the policies and laws related to family.

A typical counsellor has "zero" experience in Law (especially criminal law). A lawyer has 'zero" experience in counselling. In the end, these both make good money out of their businesses and indulge in some moral boosting fixing.

55,000 husbands are committing suicide every year. Even now, the foolish bloggers and media and society believe that "it is only due to professional reasons" and trivialise it.

We have been saying for months that unless the male suicide due to harassment are tackled, some of them will murder women as well. I wrote this article in october 2006 (one and half years back).

These incidents can not be trivialised. Because they can one day happen to our near and dear ones.

In India, people marry in presence of a pundit or kazi. But, it is police, not pundit who are authorised by Govt to do counselling when there is a marital problem.

Even now, police is being sent to software companies, when woman going to "woman's helpline" in Bangalore for counselling.

People are forced to stay together by courts and police even when the marriage is over. How is it a simple issue? People get divorce after 18 or 25 years. Divorce proceedings start when they are 30 and it ends when they are 50.

Is it a simple issue? Millions of Elders get traumatised seeing the marital problems of their sons or daughters.

53% of children are facing violence.

How long will we look at the society with a simple prism and head to the nearest pub to relax in weekend?

It requires people like us, (not police or judges or money minded counsellors) to stand for our friends and young people, who are facing marital problems. Otherwise, many more young lives will follow.

Indians are extremely thick skinned unlike people in west. They are used to disabled begging in street and people dying in accidents and suicides.

So, it is necessary to shake them with some high voltage stuff. Otherwise, every common Indian thinks he/she is safe and what happens to other will never happen to him/her.

Even today, people call me saying, "I never thought it will happen to me or my family." First thing I say is,"Now you deserve it as you have never bothered about these things in the society and today you come to us because you are facing it. So, accept that you fully deserve it. Only then salvation can start."

People who have defined the new "morals" of society (read radical feminists and Tabloid writters) are nowhere to be seen now. In a few years, then will not come to anyone's rescue when there is 300% increase in crime and drug addition, teen preganancies and suicides due to broken families and "Fatherless Children" as it happened in US.

Countless divorces are not amicable! The figures show that the money is exorted. I will list my own case.

I am ready to go for amicable divorce. I was called napunsak. I was called "Father" of illegitimate children. My mother was pulled into court room , called "names" in FIR and twice in court proceedings.

I have never said anything. I have one thing which leads me. My parents gave me virtues and both parents endure everything for my sake.

Why did I get a DV case on me. Why? why was my mother who is not even is 10th pass have to be pulled into this. Is this marriage not between husband and wife? why?

I don't think I am the only case. By saying this, you refuse to ignore hundreds like me. Tell me Deepthi, am I not your brother, is my mother not your sister?

I will go for amicable honorable divorce any moment. Who will not be ready. The mental torture I am undergoing only I know. I rest my case

The wearer knows where the shoe pinches.

If one goes by court's definition of "amicable", then I know atleast 5 people who had amicable divorce. It is another story that they had to shell out more than 5 lacs of hard cash each. I was also proposed a amicable divorce for Rs 20 Lac.

It is nice to see all these amicable divorces happening all around. The world has suddenly become so even and fair for everybody. I am really enjoying my stint in this "Rama-Rajaya".

Vardan, the name is Deepti and not Deepthi, I did not call the amicable divorces - countless- re-read please.

I do know cases where women accepted amicable divorces since they did not want to fall in the cesspool of hatred and wanted to resume normal lives. I even know one case where the lady accepted her husband's second wife because he continued to be a good father to their children.

What you suffer is caused by the laws of the land that govern all of us and for that I do empathize.

Get good legal help, anticipatory bail and try to get it settled out of court.

The law needs to be changed but that does not excuse murder.

FF, none of them got a cent out of the deal and most are career women. They just had enough and wanted out

"Men should not shy away from seeking help."

Why should men get help in a "male dominated" patriarchal society, which is hell bent in torturing women?

Who will help men?

Feminist run counselling centers ?

Who helped actor Kunal Singh?

What can a counsellor do if wife kissed her boyfriend in front of husband in the house and threaten of "dowry case against him" if he opens mouth? Nothing.

Can a counsellor give anticipatory bail to a man?
A counsellor can at most say,"go to a lawyer." A lawyer will fleece him and join hands with opposite lawyer so that both can force a hefty alimony which will make him bankrupt.

Can a counsellor counsel the whole family together?

We did enough research on counsellors in Bangalore. How many people are there who take name of a counsellor and say,"yes. this counsellor made a difference to my life?"

All the third rate people have gone to do counselling degrees. Moreover, their education itself is coloured by "feminist ideology" and they drag patriarchy at every drop of the hat.

If counsellors are so great in Bangalore, then hundreds of children would not have been committing suicide every year in that city.

Today, software engineers in SIFF.in in Bangalore have taken on counselling people for free. Unfortunately, counselling did not reach Amit because:

1) Any organisation counselling men has to be a danger to society.

2) The feminists rising in corporates do not want men to have a outlet.

The feminist counsellors threaten men as they studied in text books that men are always powerful and are immune emotional abuse.

I possess the video of an autorickshaw driver, who attempted suicide blaming the "women's helpline" and its counsellor by name, which threatened jailing of his mother and widowed sister.


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Looks like, Shiv Sena sort of goons are now needed to fix the "new moral police" and radical feminists, and NDTV Goodtimes Lounge bullshit crap and other tabloids.

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The intellectuals today are brainwashed by crap in media and that has led to "Buddhi Bhrastt".

Even now people do not realise that reductionistic experiments borrowed from west can be dangerous for a wholistic society. Some bugger in west takes 320 women and 213 men and does some fucking research and newspapers generalise these researches on whole societies all over the world.

The counselling format and the methods are very western and may not be effective at all in an Indian scenario, which has so much complexity involved.
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Minister of Women and Children, Madam Renuka Chowdhury declared, "It is Men's turn to suffer now."

Looks like the game is not going as per her plan as men have started taking women along with them to heaven. [EDITED - VAGUE THREATS]
-------------------

We are already seeing a trend here. With denial of child visitation and custody to men, the situation will get worse, if nothing drastic is done. Men are expected to be emotional and caring for new born children, and yet the patriarchal courts make them run for months for child visitation for just 1 hour in a week.

-------------------
This story will continue till society stops considering men as dispoable commodity and stops denying them and their families the basic human rights.
-------------------

Deepti, Possibly!.


By the way, the word "Possibly" reminds me of that shot from "The Pursuit of happiness".

"What you suffer is caused by the laws of the land that govern all of us and for that I do empathize."

How many laws have to be changed?

Even before changing one law, radical feminists are coming with 10 more biased laws.

When anti-dowry law is supposed to be changed:

1) Radical feminists got biased Domestic Violence law passed.

2) Extremely Biased Harassment at workplace law is on the table in parliament.

3) They want no child custody or visitation for men. Yet they want man to shell out 25,000 rupees a month for a child whose face the man will never see. He has to pay money for a child who will be brought up hating him.

4) Another bill for grabbing property of husband and in-law is almost ready.

5) Another law on the table is: Any death of women due to any reason (without involvement of husband) is also a dowry death.

-----------------------------------
We are not suffering from laws. We are suffering from "radical feminism" and the "gender votes".
-----------------------------------

The ugly radical feminist bitches fed by tax payer's money, UNICEF and USAID donations are the ones who are causing the misery.

What stops them from drafting some "reasonable laws"? I agree all these laws against dowry, DV and harassment are needed. But, why they are badly drafted?

It is not one single law which is making people miserable. It is an entire trend. Its an entire series of laws and on top of "gender sensitisation" training to police and judiciary, which is nothing but basically "brainwashing in anti-male ideology".
------------------------------------

Just now a young woman called me and told me that his brother's wife has threatened, defamed family and has said to all that her father lechered at her.

If dowry law is changed today, the increase in false molestation and rape cases against husband's family members will go up.

So, change of a single law is no solution. The law has to be kept the way it is.

Severe punishment (3 years of jail) to anyone who files a false case is the solution.

Many females, who filed false dowry cases, want to come back to husbands. We say, first she has to spend 6 months in jail as repentance and then she can come and stay with husband (if she wants).

Females who lie, defame, abuse or file false cases should be punished just the way men are punished. Then everything will fall in place.

Now, females have got a license to do any crime they want.

@ Deepti
anyways I condone murder. I have suffered. I wish nobody suffers like us. I honestly don't want the next geneartion to suffer.

Regarding my case, I know a senior high court judges personally , but nobody comes forward when we need it. I mean nobody. If this is the case with me, where I think I have connections, what is the case of the layman on the roads. It will be another three years minimum when i will get the divorce if sense does not prevail in the opposite side. So my hair will either be white or turn bald.


Deepti, I know many women don't take a bit of money. I respect such women. we lack such women honestly. I wish we had more and more of such women. I wish my spouse also becomes one and does not need a husband or father to define herself.

on a laughing note,
Deepti, The name is Vardhan and not Vardan.
My mistake was h more, so was your a h missing?

sumanth:

thanks

the note only expresses "fears"

not what you deduce

so what about more lying?

Question: lying ? lying? the von siffer , why do you lie?

Judge: In the new laws, any truth by SIFFER is deemed as lie.

Question: What if he really says a lie?

Judge: Then this is violation of feminist laws. He must either be banned, edited, or defined a liar or he must own up and pay.

Question: what if he stays mum?

Judge: SIF men ( read as Indian husbands) are not brave to call spade a spade. It is not what you deduce when he is mum, but when he speaks the truth which sounds like lies to my ears.

Vardhan- Touche!;) (as per the spelling mistakes) and yes I do believe in showing grace under fire. Our true nature is tested when its easy to go the wrong way.

Good luck with your fight.

Deepti
How many women paid thier husbands you are talking.Many husbands have paid their wife just for piece of their mind. If we had equality atleast 25% of the women should be paying thier husbands ain it

Amit did what could best be done in those circumstances...I salute a man who had maintained so much of clam and composure even when he was writing the suicide note.

He knew if he writes that he was being threatened for harassment cases, then terrorist police and the vengeful girls parent would immediately turn it around and make it look like "The girl was always under pressure and wanted to complain of harassment by husband and his parents" and that is why she was murdered. Because as we all know:

DOWRY DEATH == "GUILTY TILL PROVEN INNOCENT"


Our Brave martyr, while he left abode, saved his parents from an immediate and major fallout of his suicide.

May your soul rest in peace!!!.

you salute a murderer? hmm, I guess when y'all form the Republic of SIfistan, he'll be your national hero,

you salute a murderer? hmm, I guess when y'all form the Republic of SIfistan, he'll be your national hero,

Amit did what could best be done in those circumstances...I salute a man who had maintained so much of clam and composure even when he was writing the suicide note.

FF, under the guise anonymity you get away saying such heinous things. I call you out to say the same under your own name, provide home address and phone number.

I think not! You lack the balls!! Martyr? Shame on you!!

when a wife kills a husband, 53000 men die annually in india due to suicide , nobody salutes them.

Howeever a murder is a a murder,
a murder of trust from wife,
a murder of justice by draconain laws,

either we salute the murder of Indian justice or trust of human relationship or murder of the atma of Amit. A salute is defined in that backdrop.

He died, but he understood that he was murdered in all these areas already, I salute him for his recognition of these.

I condoned he had to take his own life and his wife. He could have fought but then he valued himself more than us to fight this meaningless senseless fight.

Amit acted out of self defense.

He laid his life while acting in self defense.

If that does not suit feminist ideologies, who cares??

He's a chicken-hearted murderer who was probably suffering from acute morbid jealousy - this can cause OCD, and lead to actions like venting actions on the purported betrayer and also enable the concocting of elaborate justifications, until the guilt takes over and causes self-abnegation, and in extreme cases double murder-suicide events.

Of course, that shouldn't/wouldn't stop you from idolizing the man,

@ Amit, with respect to your atma,

This is cowardice and not self defense. He has limited options.

But he choose the road not taken, the quick route. Life for him ended in the 30s? Once he chose his direction, there was limited things he could do.

we all take the long road, it is tough. But crime , killing own and others is something we must condone. It is nothing to do with feminisim but as a man, fight like a man.

Name and number FF. Come on if you think Amit had courage where is yours to back up his actions?

NAME and Number!!

dee:

the von siffers lie through their teeth

so do not expect reason and rationale from them

they (predictably) gloat even over dead bodies

shame!

If feminists are saluting women like Kiranjeet Ahluwalia for burning their husbands by pouring petrol and are even making movies on it, then it is not surprising if some people salute what Amit did and make a movie on it.

[Conjecturing edited]

it is not "some people"

it is hate-mongerers and delusional crackpots

One cannot compare a suicide to a murder...a suicide is voluntary (while still illegal) but a murder is such an extreme, inhumane, gross violation. Come on guys, no matter what curbs life's trials throw at us, we shouldn't condone murder! We ll go thru some devastating experiences. There are many men and women who face cruel schemes orchestrated by their respective spouses, face infidelity or betrayal. But it does not give them the right to end somebody else's life. Suicide is tragic but pre-meditated murder is against humanity no matter what the reasons.

Some of you dilute your relevant points by spewing crap. Its a disservice to your cause, really.

Amit did not commit murder.Amit was murdered.

Amit laid down his life, protecting his innocent mother and father from the terrorist state.

Rinku died at the hands of terrorist state. Rinku was murdered by state run by handful of radical feminists. Amit was just a means. The real culprits and radical feminists who strangulated and suffocated Amit are roaming free, collecting gender votes.

Aditi,

Do you consider the murder by Kiranjeet Ahluwalia as an extreme, inhumane, gross violation?

Do you consider murder of children by women (before attempting suicide) as an extreme, inhumane, gross violation?

If not, then extend the same to this case as well.

The rules have to be same for men or women.

Tell me, what will a cornered man do?

He can not leave wife. He can not hide. He can not run away from home. He can not file for divorce. He can get defamed. He can lose job. His mother and sister can get abused by counsellors in courts and may even get molested by the thugs hired by the opponents.

What will an abused, threatened man do?

You are not a man and you will find it very difficult.

Accept that there is a hardwiring in men, which can not be corrected by any means.

"A man hunted is a dangerous men."

Nothing can be done about it. It is just a matter of time some hunted man will lash out. These men will not repent as well.

Please note, I know many men who simply wish the worst for their wives.

You can not police them.
For them it is a war.

------------------

Just for a while leave men and women issue and think...what will a man do to another man who subjects him to constant threats and abuses?

He will finish him off.

Have you seen Movie "Chandini Bar"?
In that movie the male kid murders being humiliated and raped.

Men are hard wired warriors deep inside.

adi:

take three deep breaths

and stay away from frothing von siffers

they are not interested in reason

Amit was a coward and he was no good. If his wife was having an affair he(like most assholes) could not stand it. So he killed her.
After he killed her, he knew he would not be spared. So he killed himself and still put the blame on her.

The fact of the matter is like all sniffers he is a MURDEROR. He deserves no sympathy. he will burn in hell, first for the murder and then for the suicide.

# 50 while he left abode, saved his parents from an immediate and major fallout of his suicide.

Like parents--like son. Amit picked up the same traits of being selfish

The old selfish parents of Amit took their son's life only to save themselves. How fucking selfish? It only goes on to show how they must have tortured their DIL who was not their flesh and blood.

May her soul rest in peace.

You call a person who died an asshole. No problems with that.

I guess you did not have a chance to delve into the suicide note. It clealry states that Amit feared his wife may file a false dowry.

He mentioned if he has affair, his wife would murder him. So she got what she demanded from the relationship. She demanded trust and gave in turn mistrust.

The death of rinku is not because of Amit. It is because of the social dynamics where
a) Amit could not declare she was an infidel.
b) Amit could not divorce her.
c) Amit could not stay with an infidel under the same roof

So when you point the finger at Amit, look at the other fingers pointing at the infidels.

So did you expect his suicide note to say..

" yes i am a coward, she was having an affair, it would hurt my ego if i let her a divorce, coz my friends wud ask me why and i would be embarassed to admit that my wife was having an affair..what a shame on me.."

You expect us to beleive the letter of Amit, who not only murdered but suicided. He was an asshole. He was a murderor cum coward

Give me a break....i have better judgement.

His poor plan backfired because even after his death, he will not get any sympathies.

Anjali, which friend has the time to ask you whether you are embarassed because of divorce. Are you living in the Victorian age?

Divorce is not an embarassment. Get the basics in you right. Getting divorced is the best!

Lets hope people get their senses and the judicial arguments set right.

Staying and grudging along with infidel, non responsible partners and extortinists is embarassment. Let us define this before even we get into rights and wrongs.

OK folks. Read Comment Policy BEFORE posting

Vardhan,

Either your comments get deleted and/ or when they don't they are even more stupid.


Yes, you are right, Amit's friends had no time to ask him about his welfare. Because you know why? he had no friends. How sad! Even his wife did not want to be with him.

Amit was not only embarassed but a coward too. His act his more than enough to validate that. Even in victorian age a suicide was an act of cowardice and a murder was a sin, a crime.


As per FF # 50, he died for his parents. The martyr soul. What BS! With selfish parents like that, there is no hope for Amit. Even his friends( if any) would want to stay away from him and TODAY he is being cursed left, right and center by men and women both.

Getting divorced is the best!


Amit did not stand by that.

Finally #73 , you agree with me.

Amit did not agree for the sake of law.

Throw a party. Be grateful that a feminist agreed with you. Now what? I made your day. happy./

Anjali, it ain't personal to throw a party. Both lives are precious, amit and rinku. Both are humans and bound to make mistakes.

If it was personal, then shame on persons like me. What do we get to win . It will never be win and lose. Both sides must win.

I want the best for women and men all around. We want India to arise and Indians equal. I am pointing to that part in law that our politicians , police, judges use to do their dhanda, earn money, who suffers, people like me, Amit and Rinku. Nobody wins from such laws, not even feminists.

Amit would use network sniffers to peep into what was happening in others' desktops,"--said one,

People used to be very careful of their computer security as they knew that there was a 'Peeping Tom' monitoring their actions. Amit used a software called Iris to replicate what was displayed on a desktop,"---said another

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/2892122.cms

Obviously his friends are not standing by him either.

It is very clear that Amit had "Peeping Tom" problems.
This is abnormal as it reflects he had psychosomatic problems.
He needed psychiatric help.
He derived sadistic thrill from invading other people's privacy because he had nothing better to do in life.
Prying around other people's desktops, suspecting your wife is nothing but a figment of his crazy demented imagination .
Being a marketing executive, obviously she would be networking, which led him to believe that she was allegedly not loyal to him.
He was disgustingly paranoid and his wife had to bare the brunt of it.

A psychotic guy like Amit who suffered from psychosomatic problems, snooped on his friends desktops are obviously signs of insecurities that Amit suffered and he was not ready for an outgoing smart marketing executive wife.

Well it is still about winning and loosing for you.

An innocent girl was murdered and her parents have lost her forever.

Why are you blaming the law? Amit evidently suffered from major dysfunctional imagination that made him to believe that his wife was not loyal to him, that his wife was going to file a case on him...these insecurities made him murder another innocent life ( his wife)

Just because he feared his future or the fear of loosing his wife to someone else, so he murdered her.

Aint #78 provoking, I said it is not winning and losing.

Can this be termed as conjectural trolling.

This is indeed worrisome. The battle of the sexes is as old as time. But now it appears to have turned macabre. Maybe, this is how they will hate each other, kill each other and reduce human numbers on the planet so that the planet has a chance to survive!

how is a possible adulteror be considered innocent beyond reasonable doubt beats me.

Amit sacrificed his life to ensure his parents do not go to jail.

It is very clear Amit did not care about his wifes adultery .

Anywyas he has ended the marital fight once and for all. No more rushing to courts for 18-20 years.
No more stupid couselling by feminists. That would be heaven whereever he is it would feel like heaven for him i guess

Murderors do not go to heaven. get your fundamentals right!

who is a murderer must be defined first.

Murderer is the Political parties of India who framed such laws.

Murderer is system we are in where divorce is not an option

Murderer is police who extort money

Murderer is the Judicial system that send summons without even enquiring if the case is fit.

Which murderer are you referring. Amit and Rinku are not the only cases today. Thousands are fighting the judicial courts.

Blaming me, throwing me out from DC is the easiest thing for all. Even if I disapper, will the problem diappear. Can you put a stop to the killings. Nobody can. By keeping it private and not addressing the real root cause, we won't win colelctively. No Life must be lost. But then should we keep mum and not tell the world of the external murderers out there.

Yes the muderor is the legal system that has not hung enough men who behave like vultures.

The legal system needs to instill fear when men like Amit take the law in their hands.

In fact Amits parents should not be spared.

So you want more laws for men?

Its time society and pseudo-intellectuals realise that anyone (male or female), who threatens or attacks an innocent man and his innocent family can end up paying a huge price. There is no point in shedding tears now.

Its a fact that feminists have misled women and made them believe that they have a license to abuse husbands because of all kinds of biased laws enacted.

They are terribly mistaken. Their calculation has gone terribly wrong. All the leading feminists in Bangalore are hiding inside the rat holes.

Men are in any case disposable. There is nothing new if one talks about lynching and hanging men.

But, whatever is done to men, the same will happen to women sooner or later.
------------------------------

Amit is a Martyr for many. Because, he made a major shift in the thinking in the society that it is harmless for women, if they continue living with a distressed man.

------------------------------
It is not just the Siffers, but the society which is fast losing its sympathy for women. All because of misdeeds promoted in the name of women's empowerment.
------------------------------
------------------------------

Are you drunk when you wrote this?

Your sniffers(indian and non-indian) cannot make a meager sharity and break into a fight with you at any given point. They cannot stand you.

Wake up and smell the coffee. Your political agenda seem very bleak to me.


Society is not scared of ghosts like you!

Your empty threats, name calling and data which is not validated hold no ground. Personally I know what a coward Dorky is ...even more than Amit.

avinash, personally you know so many SIF people.

now which party are you on, hillary or girija based on the number you dial

No one hear is shedding tears so stop hallucinating.

People, society, intellectuals, readers and even the cops( who have registered a case against the retard-Amit) are leaving no stone unturned to curse Amit. His own friends have not stood by him. His selfish parents will have tough times ahead and will bear the consequences.

And for the rest of the sniffers, who cares about them when majority of them are out on bail, some absconding and wanted or hiding in the west and the rest who are scott free are no different from OJ Simpson. Their credibility was washed when an FIR was written against them.

Now OJ simpson is not needed in this context. So which laws you wnat on men? how many firs do you register on a single husband.

OJ Simpson is an ideal example. The world knows that he is a criminal who also murdered his wife because she wanted to leave him.

Being a man myself and I know the thinking of screwed up insecured men who are controlling and cannot accept a gaceful exit from a relationship.

This obsession of theirs makes them commit terrible crimes like throwing acid on their girl friends, throwing acid on innocent girls who have declined their proposals, killing their wives etc.

The dumb fuck questions you have asked deserve on answer. Go to sumath who will asnwer them for you.


"how many firs do you register on a single husband."
husband and single....get your fundamentals right.

And correction...i don't know sif people..i know the sniffer criminals. :)

[Do not personal ifnormation here]

thank you avinash, I got to know you have no answers but you refer to sumanth.

exactly..i have no answers to stupid questions. whoohooo. Good bye.

thanks for your good byes.

Gope

The information you have put up is private and you could be held for defamation of character.

Have you lost your senses at age 80 or you just don't care?

Avinash
#91
I appreciate your thinking capabilities, but filing false cases on spouse never comes under graceful exit. What sumanth wrote is not about acid throwing cases or eve teasing cases. He wrote about murders and suicides which have a background of harassment.

It is not a surprise to anyone, as you know only criminals, you made that post. But ignoring the victims is another kind of harassment that society commit against them.we should not do that, isn't it?

Ravi baby

This is a little high end discussion, kindly read my comments again and understand the reference to context.

It has been observed many times other commentators cannot undertand you and we cannot understand you. Well, the communication between mars and earth is such!

Please refrain from appreciating my thinking...you have a long way to go bachu!

Avinash

My points are valid at any end. I already understood what you told. But it is you, as you said that you don't understand my points,need to read my comment once again.

And don't you know the famous statement "men are from Mars, women are from Venus, according to that all men are from mars, i too agree. But some men who came from mars are now joined in mental hospital with psychological problems such as pseudo-equality, pseudo-secularism, pseudo-empowerment, pseudo...etc. So it is tough for them to understand what normal people say. so i wish they will get well soon...

#98:

the end note is classic

:)

:)anytime temporal.

You guys seriously need a break. Looks like you ppl have taken over DC !

I can see both sides of the argument. But looks like they can't see each others.

Like I said somewhere else, the incident is unfortunate. Learn from it. Acknowledge that the misuse of the laws could have been the final straw for Amit.

At the same, time it was not right for Amit to kill her. He probably did not have many options and when you have a cheating wife who can take away your future, throw you into jail and can condemn you to a slow death, the emotional toll is high.

But there could have been other solutions. Maybe, he should have paid Rinku a couple of crores to avoid being jailed while she could live with her lover.

or maybe, we all could have united against these unjust laws and averted this tragedy.

In any case, learn from it and acknowledge that what Amit did was not really right, but at the same time, the fear of the misuse of law might have been too much for him.

Andy

Temporal
#100

get well soon...

still in strait jacket?

;)

No temporal, I have never been in that situation. But i know i put some person in that situation,esp... some pseudo...etc.

correction in #105

some people in place of some person.. :)

With these rising trends, we might start seeing opposite trend of this --> http://desicritics.org/2008/04/17/102651.php

Start 'Male Foeticide', would be parents!
Your son is gonna face real hell in the hands of feminists! Kill him before he comes to this world!

Women Rejoice at your victory!
Before the Jehadis succeed in making the planet non-muslim free, you'll succeed in making it MALE-Free!