SATIRE

World Cup 2006: Portugal Issues Wayne Rooney Commerative Crotch Stamp

July 06, 2006
Grumpy Old Indian Man

Rooney stampPortugal's national Sports Publishing House on Tuesday (July 4th) issued a commerative stamp in Lisbon as part of its efforts to promote the 2006 World Cup.

The 69 eurocents stamp, entitled "Wayne Rooney Portuguese Crotch Stamp" commemorates the legendary ginger monkey's freckled antics hopping up and down on the private bits of Ricardo Carvalho. In a classic example of payback, stamping on Portuguese crotch has earned Wayne Rooney his very own Portuguese crotch stamp. Now that's one for the record books.

Rooney stamp

A spokesman for The Portuguese Football Federation (FPF) said, "While Senhor Rooney chooses to presently deny his clear mastery of the now famous Portugese Crotch Stamp, we in the FPF feel that an official tribute was needed for such an historic move. In fact we use the very first stamp issued to send him a postcard from the semi-finals. He can put it on his ... como se diz isso em inglęs? ... refrigerator ... and then he never has to deny the Rooney Portuguese Crotch Stamp. Never no more. Verdade!"

Following the suggestion of England mid-fielder Steven Gerrard to "Not blame Rooney" the FPF has instead decided to proceed with this numismatic celebration of the red card gobsmackery visited on their favorite jug eared poison dwarf.

The issue limit of the stamp is set at 5,000. According to the publisher, it is the first World Cup stamps album authorized by the International Snarky Bastards Committee (ISBC).

Grumpy Old Indian Man because there's so much to complain about.
eXTReMe Tracker
Keep reading for comments on this article and add some feedback of your own!

World Cup 2006: Portugal Issues Wayne Rooney Commerative Crotch Stamp

Article

Author: Grumpy Old Indian Man

 

Comments! Feedback! Speak and be heard!

Comment on this article or leave feedback for the author

#1
Sujatha
URL
July 6, 2006
02:41 AM

GOIM, heh.

#2
grumpy
URL
July 6, 2006
02:49 AM

Heh indeed Sujatha ... this is what comes from indiscriminate stamping about ...these Portuguese are a rascally revengeful pun-tastic bunch.

#3
grumpy
URL
July 6, 2006
02:57 AM

Think how long they hung on to Diu and Goa ,,, till Mrs. G got her tizzy on and threw them out in the 60s ... She's lucky they didnt do a stamp on her

#4
Sujatha
URL
July 6, 2006
06:59 AM

I don't understand why everyone (from the ref to the newspapers) is on Rooney's case though. Did you see how he was tackled and his shirt and arms were being pulled by two defenders before the infamous stamp?

#5
Anon
URL
July 6, 2006
11:38 AM

The "thug" got what he deserved!!!

#6
grumpy
URL
July 6, 2006
11:46 AM

Well I think they are largely on his case as he is a pretty extreme example of the infamous 'ginger minger' -- nobody likes a freckled redhead.

Anyway its all quite funny ... grown men kicking a ball about in fancy haircuts

#7
grumpy
URL
July 6, 2006
12:16 PM

Although I suppose some people were very fond of Raj Kapoor and he was a gingery redheaded sort ... but he had the decency to keep it toned down by only doing black and white films ... I've no idea, however, if he played football at all ...

#8
barbosa
March 8, 2007
11:13 AM

rooney looks better in tights then soccer cleats i think he fell in the wrong job. lol that is a funny stamp. YAH GO PORTUGAL!

Add your comment

(Or ping: http://desicritics.org/tb/2322)

Personal attacks are not allowed. Please read our comment policy.






Remember Name/URL?

Please preview your comment!