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OPINION
Four Haiku
April 28, 2006
Moushumi Chakrabarty
Moushumi Chakrabarty
sleepless
through the blinds
moonlight on my bed
*******************
little hand in mine
gold leaves on the path
twist away
********************
last day together
a boat breaks up
our reflections
*********************
noon
the aspen's shadow
barely quivers on the lawn
Keep reading for comments on this article and add some feedback of your own!
Four Haiku
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Author: Moushumi Chakrabarty
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Mayank 'Austen'
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April 29, 2006
03:08 AM
Fabulous compositions. Your haikus are very thoughtful, deep and very.....very...oh what must be the word.....yes...tangible!
Moushumi
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April 29, 2006
07:12 AM
thankyou, mayank!
Mayank 'Austen'
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April 29, 2006
07:23 AM
Moushumi, few days back i too had posted few haikus. i will really appreciate if you'll take some time to go through them. my haikus are not that deep or reflective like yours but still i will like to know your opinion. your honest opinion that is. here's the link:
http://desicritics.org/2006/04/19/091200.php
Moushumi
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May 1, 2006
10:54 AM
Hi Mayank,
I read your haikus carefully. I'm always a little wary about commenting on other people's work simply because I know the kind of work that goes into composing three-four lines of poetry. But you asked - so here goes: I'm no expert. Still, I think you need to work on your images a bit more. 'Show, don't tell' has been a revered maxim for writers over time. And with good reason. Maybe you should concentrate on images rather than words.
Good luck.
Moushumi
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