The Pre-Marital Sex Debate
Sex is a biological need of the body. It is as basic as eating, drinking or even breathing. It is certainly not unique to the human kingdom but extends well into the domain of every living object. The need to propagate our seed is a prerequisite for the survival of any species.
However, like most other things we attach a lot of tamashaa to the whole act. Humans have evolved from their hunting and gathering days to their modern day "buy and store stock up" avtaar.
But it's painfully obvious that we are embarassed about our animal origins. We try and break away from any ritual or habit that may highlight our animal instincts.
ALAS! This is always going to be futile, since the basic needs are always going to be the same. So somewhere, our embarassed ancestors devised a plan to carve a distinct identity for our race.
Just look at something as basic as food, for instance. The purpose of food remains to provide energy and nourishment to the body for its functions. It is simply a fuel. Again we share this trait with the rest of the animal kingdom. So guess what? We made cuisines, seven course meals, appetisers, desserts, a la carte and what not! And it has only begun; you have a dozen types of forks, knives, spoons, spatulas, just to shove food down your throat.
What we have done is to mask our common traits with the animals under layers of sophistication in a vain pursuit to prove our uniqueness and superiority.
Coming back to the orignal topic, in all honesty, we are embarassed about our sexuality. It has always been taboo, an animal trait. A closer look shows that just like other things, marriage was invented so cover up our discomfort over an animal instict and prove our 'pedigree'.
What happens when you see a beautiful member of the opposite sex? Hmmm.... if nothing happens, see a doctor! The fact is, the moment we lay our eyes on them, subconsciously we size them up as potential mates. This is not something we make an effort for, it's just that our brains are wired that way. Since times immemorial, the male has been the provider and the female reared his children. Then the men used to seek big breasts and broad hips considering the female's child-bearing capacities. He used to provide for the woman simply because she was having his baby. From her end, the female used to seek the healthiest/strongest mate who could provide her with food and security and whose offspring would have greatest chance of survival.
Prospective mates fought and killed each other over her (since the Spelling Bee hadn't been invented yet) and the winner got her (womb) to propagate his seed! (We still see this behaviour amongst higher apes.)
Even today, this mating ritual presents itself in the form of courtship, serenading, wooing, whatever you call it.
It just so happens that one doesn't need to be big and strong to survive in today's world; a healthy bank balance would do, which euphemistically put translates into well-settled.
As for the males, they still check out cleavage and the rear of anything moving in a skirt. As crude as it may sound, you cannot argue with biology there.
Now let us consider the fact that men can sire dozens of babies simultaneously but females can have only one man's child at any given time. So men have a great incentive for promicusity (the purpose was to spread ones seed all over). Women were in a disadvantageous postion since there would be no guarantee that the male would take care of her once he impregnated other women (no wonder why women are so susceptible to jealousy and suspicion, can't argue with biology here either).
So MARRIAGE was invented (I guess by women only as an insurance policy).
Times have changed. Humans are not fighting to survive. So men are content with one female (hopefully) in our overpopulated times. Women have become financially independent and they don't need men to provide for them anymore, but just someone they can nag and pester.
It just so happens that sexual intercourse bathes the brain in a heady cocktail of hormones and other chemicals creating pleasureable sensations (humans and dolphins are the only creatures who have sex for pleasure). In females it gives rise to strong maternal instincts (well, the original purpose was to become a mommy only) so they feel so much attachment after doing it.
As for love, it is not connected with sex in any manner. Come one! Love is a different road altogether. MAKING LOVE is a politically correct way of calling an indulgence in pleasure (hormones baby!).
To put it simply, you are having a burger and you let your friend have a bite. You won't think twice about it. But imagine giving a bite to a stranger. It doesn't matter that both would drip their saliva on to it, but you won't let the stranger have it. It's the same with sex. You are vulnerable and share those moments of vulnerability and intimacy with someone whom youu trust and care for, even though the tools involved and the end result is going to be the same with the stranger. It's just that you would be more comfortable that way.
(People who quote the Bible against premarital sex - that premarital sex is to be indulged in only to make babies - if you had your share of children, STOP or else Thou shall burn in Hell.)
The Pre-Marital Sex Debate
- » Published on April 10, 2006
- » Type: Opinion
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