Cow Corner: The Pervez Musharraf, Constitutions and Shaharyar Diplomacy Edition

In Pakistan if there is any establishment, accompanied by a group of people who run it, it's customary to expect corruption, authoritarianism, autocracy, negligence, mismanagement, un-professionalism, and all the other symptoms of institutional paralysis. This is a common illness in my part of the world. So common that it's almost accepted as being normal.

Given this, I was hardly surprised to see Shaharyar Khan indicate that the probability of the Pakistan Cricket Board's constitution coming into being may happen within the next "three to four months". This for old time's sakes is only the umpteenth time Shaharyar Khan has predicted a time frame of "3 to 4" months for the constitution's coming-into-being. The last time was in November 2004. If my calculations are right, that's only about 12 odd months late.

The very fact that Shaharyar Khan has used his 3 to 4 months line again alone is sufficient evidence to believe that the constitution will most certainly not become effective at least within this time frame. At my most Panglossian self I'm expecting some thing in the next year (another version of a "3 to 4 months" promise most probably). At my more realistic self, I'm expecting something in the time frame of when President Mushy himself is gone.

Since it seems that President Mushy and constitutions of any kind don't quite stick, he's more of a believer in Legal Framework Orders and the like - nice easy bla, bla, blahs that give you more of an individual and ultimate say in matters. Constitutions aren't his thing; he's probably allergic to them or something. Mushy in case you don't know, or haven't read the Cricinfo feature article (by Osman Samiuddin) I've linked above is our current Head of State and Mortifier in Chief of whatever is left of the country's constitution Patron in Chief of our cricket board.

Mushy in these capacities has the authority to approve or disapprove the draft constitution (and just about everything else in this country for that matter) which has been submitted to him since mid 2005 (again after much delay). Apparently if and when the draft constitution is ever approved by the Mortifier in Chief the Patron in Chief, he'll still have quite a big say in which ever of his good pals / sympathetic sidekicks who gets to head the board as chairman.

If I'm not wrong, the Pakistan Cricket Board is listed in the Pakistan Securities and Exchange Commission as a private company. I'm not certain if they pay taxes to the government from the revenues they earn. Perhaps one of my readers can enlighten me in this respect but I'm wondering all the same - what entitles President Mushy to the post of patron in chief in the first place? Why should the head of government have absolutely anything to do with the running of a private company, which the PCB is, on paper at least?

It isn't as if President Mushy has some special, out of the ordinary credentials in cricket administration. Far from it as matter of fact. He is, admittedly, a big fan of the game, but then that's hardly a criterion for a position with such unprecedented authority like the Patron in Chief of Pakistan's richest sports body, hardly, if it was then I'd argue my own case for Patron in Chief. Who is to say after all that I'm any less a fan that President Mushy is.

Regular readers will know that I'm not a particular fan of President Mushy. For starters, he's got terrible wig, so he lands into my infamous TAFHCA pet hate list more or less automatically. Next, his government affiliated Pakistan Internet Authority has curtailed my basic human right by banning my excess to all blogs hosted on the domain blogspot.com (and consequentially significantly reduced the amount of pleasure I derived from my online adventures, in particularly when reading cricket blogs).

Apart from all this, he's also one of the best buddies of President Bush, who not that long ago, landed in my country for a 24 hour trip, in which he just about managed to refer our great sport as simply "a past time". And as if all of this wasn't enough, President Mushy has the very annoying habit of lavishly spending the taxes we pay on the nation's cricketers, all in the good name of "special rewards", conveniently forgetting that cricketers are already the highest paid sports professionals in this country.

What's more, he even likes to spend entire days at matches, smoking away cigars and enjoying proceedings from a nice, VIP hospitality boxes (and I'm told politicians are supposedly busy people). Further more, very frequently Mushy pops up at presentation ceremonies and indulges in shameless attention grabbing gimmicks (one of which included, not that long ago, proclaiming his love of Dhoni's re-bonding nightmare mid way through a Man of the Match prize announcement). And I've not mentioned the state dinners that he hosts every time India is around, have I?

Perhaps I'm over reacting. Perhaps I shouldn't be this sarcastic and instead learn to appreciate the President's great love for the game. After all, as President Bush and Prime John Howard recently displayed, not every head of state can boast of superior cricket knowledge. But then, I can't help it.

Either President Mushy has some special qualities which I'm quite obviously completely oblivious too, or he reckons he hasn't already got enough jobs on his hand (he's also the Chief of Army Staff and chief of quite a few other bodies). He has got no right what so ever to be Patron in Chief, and there by take in active part in furthering the institutional paralysis that's already gripped most of the PCB.